Rating – G

Summary: Spock's first tooth.




Tooth and Truth

The door opened silently on his approach.  From behind the door, a wave of noise escaped. A less rational being would have imagined that the noise had been imprisoned behind the door all day, waiting for release, much like a young sehlat eagerly waits to be released from his pen at dawn.  But Sarek was the most rational of beings.  He did not ascribe animal instincts to the noise, although his heart rate had jumped as the noise assaulted his ears.

Sarek looked down to find I-Chiya snuffling at his feet for comfort.  He quirked an eyebrow at the pet in acknowledgement of what it had had to endure that day and went into the living room to find his wife and son. Never had he heard such a pitiful scream before and, for a brief moment, until he remembered that their home now housed a three-month-old Vulcan-human hybrid baby, he could not identify the source of the sound. 

Amanda's face did not welcome Sarek home.  In fact, her blue eyes were positively flashing warning signs. She was clearly broadcasting her emotions, something that she did only infrequently now after ten years on Vulcan.  At times like this, Sarek felt less like an accomplished diplomat and more like an immature boy.  He cherished Amanda, but he didn't understand her… yet.

"Where have you been?" Her words were clipped and the glare in her eyes did not fade as he came closer. He sent soothing thoughts and images through their bond to his spouse and glanced to the floor to see Spock, green-faced and grimacing, on the floor.  Amanda raised her voice to be heard over her son's screams.  "I'm going CRAZY here.  I can't take this any more.  I don't want to be a mother!"  The thing that Amanda called a baby rattle whizzed past his knees.  Sarek raised an eyebrow at his spouse who was kneeling next to Spock and appeared to be looking for further ammunition.

Grabbing another rattle, Amanda jumped to her feet and marched toward Sarek. "I can't take this anymore.  Do you hear?"

"It is illogical to question my hearing since it is far better than your own, Amanda."

In a flash, her anger turned to sadness and Sarek felt the swift flow of new emotional energy through the bond. Amanda dropped the rattle and covered her face with her hands to hide her blatant emotional display from her husband. As he reached toward her with his two fingers extended, she grabbed the lapels of his robes and crushed the embroidered glyphs in her hands.  Her sadness whipped back to anger as she shook his robes and she quite irrationally declared, "You weren't here to help today.  You're never here! I want to be the diplomat and you can be the mother!"

Sarek had never ceased to be amazed at how rapidly her emotions could switch from sorrow to anger. And he had never mastered the right approach to handling Amanda in the throes of strong and conflicting emotions. He strengthened his shields and gently removed her hands from his robes. Holding her hands firmly with one of his strong hands, he used the other to tip her chin up.  The anger had switched back to sadness and tears silently filled here eyes and clung there until one escaped.  Spock's screams filled the background as Sarek observed the sadness in his wife's eyes.

Amanda's eyes showed her frustration and her feelings of ineptitude to her husband.  Amanda's shields were tattered this evening and he caught glimpses of her long day with Spock.  Through her memories, he saw that Spock had become increasingly more fretful throughout the day.  He had stopped nursing and had napped sporadically, only to wake screaming.  As evening set in, Spock became inconsolable. He whined when carried and screamed when left alone.  Amanda, normally a talented and accomplished lady, had been defeated by a three-month old with pudgy toes and pointed ears. 

Sarek spared a glance for his small son and winced at a particularly high note.  Pointed ears and excellent hearing weren't always an asset, he thought.  Turning back to his wife he asked, "What is wrong with Spock? Do we need to call a healer?"

The current of frustration washed over their bond again and Sarek realized that he would need to meditate for a long time tonight to center himself after the assault of emotion that was coming from Amanda.  Yes, she would regret her lack of control tomorrow, but for tonight…

"I don't know what's wrong!" She tried to pull her hands away from Sarek, but he refused to relinquish his hold.  "He won't nurse.  He doesn't want to be carried.  But when you put him down, he wails harder.  He's dry but he won't sleep.  I've tried singing to him.  I used the light-stimulator like you showed me, but nothing works.  At one point, I even tried that awful Old Vulcan Opera music that you like."  A wave of smug humor seeped over the bond. "He didn't like that either and since the racket from the music was only slightly better than Spock's cries, I gave up on that idea."

"Aduna, it's not 'opera'. It is an historical narrative sung in Old Vulcan.  It is supposed to be easy to remember the story when told in this form."

"I think that Vulcans remember the "narrative" so well because they don't want to hear it a second time."  Amanda pursed her lips in distaste.  "You can let go of me now.  I won't crush your robe again." 

Sarek released her hands slowly, pleased to see her regain control over some of her emotions.  "I regret that I could not return earlier.  The Vulcan High Council wanted to discuss our response to the situation on Vergoz II." 

Amanda gave him a long look and walked over to pick up Spock.  She knew that she was being rude by turning her back on her husband but at the moment, she just didn't care. Holding the whining child to her chest and doing the baby dance that all human mothers do spontaneously, she turned back to Sarek.

"I have my duty, Amanda.  You know that."

"Yes, I know all about your duty and I know that my duty is to raise this child."  Sarek could hear the sarcasm in her words and recognized that her logic and control were losing the battle to her emotions again.   "But I can't stand this anymore.  I have no life outside this house.  I can't take him anywhere because he cries and the women all stare at him so.  I can't sleep all night because he wants to eat.  Every robe I have is stained with unmentionable bodily fluids, and then, there are the diapers!  And just when I think that I've got a system going and am getting the hang of parenting, Spock loses it!  Why can't I find something to soothe this child?  What's wrong with him?  What's wrong with me!"

Sarek raised an eyebrow at Amanda and admitted that he didn't know.  "Vulcan children don't cry unless they are tired or hungry or wet." 

"Well, for the first time, I wish that this child was all Vulcan!"  Her anger was palpable to even a non-telepath and a human husband would have known to step warily right now.  Sarek, though, clung to his logic. "But he is not. Kaiidth.  It is not logical to wish for what cannot be."

"You may wish for the illogical, then, before the evening is over."  Amanda marched across the living room and delivered the whimpering Spock into the esteemed Vulcan ambassador's arms. "I'm going to take a bath.  And I'm going to activate the sound proofing in our bedroom tonight.  Honestly, I don't want to hear one more sound from this baby until dawn!" 

Sarek stared at the agitated baby for a moment, only to turn when Amanda's Vulcan robe rustled as she left the room and she stomped down the hall toward their bedroom.  He made a note to speak to Amanda about walking more silently and with more dignity.  And then he decided that that particular lesson in Vulcan etiquette might better wait a few days.

Sarek wrapped a blanket around the crying child and carried his small son out into the cooling desert air.  His thoughts were troubled by the human-ness of his son.  Truly, Vulcan children didn't fuss and cry unnecessarily.  Amanda was right that the Vulcan matrons stared disdainfully at Spock if he fussed in public and, as a result, she had become a prisoner in the home.  He also admitted that, although tonight was by far the worst that he had come home to, it was not the first time that Spock's screams had greeted him at the door. 

Vulcan children were calmed through the parental bond or tel mekh, and Sarek had, naturally, at Spock's birth established the parental bond.  But Amanda did not have such a bond with Spock.  Her bond was the purely human maternal bond.  His fear was that Amanda's emotions were leaking over to Spock and that his son was responding to those emotions in the only way he knew how.

If that were so, then Spock should have calmed immediately in his father's presence, much less in his arms. Vulcan children didn't need to be touched to be calmed.  But Spock continued to cry and fuss as Sarek held him in the garden.  Logic forced Sarek to accept that his own parental bond with Spock was less than adequate.  As the cooling breeze shifted through the garden, Sarek drew the blanket around the still whining Spock and contemplated the problem.

Tonight wasn't the first time that he had wondered about how Spock's human side would affect the parental bond.  But tonight WAS the night to admit the truth of the situation.  Sarek did not have a complete parental bond with Spock.  As a result, Spock could not be calmed, soothed, and directed like a Vulcan child. 

Sarek pulled the blanket higher around Spock's head and contemplated the human nature of his son yet again. The extent of his son's human wilfulness had become more obvious over the last few weeks.  Amanda and he had discussed how the child would develop and grow long before the embryo divided in the laboratory.  Family was vitally important on Vulcan and to turn from tradition and raise Spock as a human had never been a serious option. Sarek knew that this child had to be raised Vulcan and his human nature had to be subdued.  But to raise a Vulcan child, Sarek had to establish the proper parental bond.  He feared, though, that the human part of Spock would prevent the bond.

Sarek settled Spock into a different position in his arms and sat down on the meditation bench in the garden.  Spock's cries settled into an occasional whimper as Sarek meditated on the challenges of parenting the first human-Vulcan hybrid.  Logic dictated that the battle to train Spock as a Vulcan must be won.  The consequences, to the clan and to Spock if Sarek failed in this battle, were too high to consider.  If his son was ever to be accepted on Vulcan, he must be trained as a Vulcan and that training began at birth.  Sarek was already three months late in beginning Spock's training.

The scream of a lematya startled Spock into renewed wails.  Sarek rose from the meditation bench and slowly climbed the stairs into the house.  As the glass slid shut behind him, Sarek knew what he had to do.  He had to reach deeper into Spock's mind than Vulcan parents normally did with a child of this age.  He had to reach beyond the surface of this three-month old child's psyche to establish the beginning of nahr or the disciplining of Spock's mind.  His duty to Vulcan and the clan demanded nothing less than this.  He could not fail in this task. The truth of this would need to be explained to Amanda later, but he didn't look forward to the conversation. His very human wife might never fully understand how completely Spock belonged to Vulcan and to his father.

Sarek carried his son deliberately toward his meditation chamber.  He added a pinch of incense to the flame that burned in the fire pot.  The aroma filled the room and Sarek settled into the meditation position taught to him by his father, Skon. He thought about the day that he would help Spock settle his own growing body into the meditation position.  But for now, he would be content to hold his infant son in his arms. 

Sarek reached for the psi points on the small boy's face.  Before he touched them, he stared at the small face, so unlike his own and still so Vulcan in appearance. He hesitated, considering again the magnitude of the step he was about to take.  Entering Spock's mind this early in life and beginning the lessons in mind disciplines might backfire.  However, not to act on his son's behalf was to neglect his duties as a parent.  He could not fail as a parent; he must not fail as a parent.  Spock's own eyes followed the motion of his father's fingers and, for the first time since Sarek had entered the house, Spock was silent. 

//Your thoughts to my thoughts. Your mind to my mind//

Sarek braced for the chaotic swell of emotions from the boy.  Impressions of pain, anger, hunger, and frustration washed over Sarek.  Sarek pushed past the emotions, deeper into the center of Spock's mind.  As he reached for the svitan of Spock's mind, Sarek began to build and strengthen the parental bond until it wove through and around parts of Spock's psyche that parents usually don't touch until much later in a child's life.  And as he strengthened the bond, he found that he could control the rush of emotions that were plaguing Spock.  He felt Spock's mind shudder with relief as the emotions that had run rampant in his mind all day were controlled and extinguished.  Spock was peaceful and still, at last.

As he followed the path out of Spock's mind, Sarek realized that offering his son his stronger controls was no sacrifice at all.  Sarek's controls could carry Spock until he began to learn the lessons of mind disciplines. Sarek could keep his son centered.  Slowly Sarek returned to full awareness. Sarek looked down at his son in the dim light of the meditation flame, his fingers still on the psi points.  To his surprise, he saw that Spock had wrapped his small fist around one of the fingers of the hand that had touched his mind.  And Sarek felt a last wave of contentment sweep over the parental bond before his son's sleep became profoundly deep.  It was right.

-o-O-O-o

"Ouch!"

The cry brought Sarek awake quickly.  "Aduna, what's wrong?"

"He bit me!"  Indignation and surprise warred for supremacy on her face before she quickly recovered her control.

Sarek and Amanda looked into Spock's mouth to see a tiny, but sharp new tooth.  Amanda's smile drove the last remnants of sleep from Sarek's mind and he knew yet again that her smile was one consistent and vital part of his life.  He raised his two fingers and she matched his with her own fingers. 

"Young Spock cha'Sarek Cha'Skon has his first tooth."

"Indeed."  Sarek reached with his other hand to touch the tooth.  And Spock's tiny fist met his finger, just like they had done last night.