The Visitor (S'Hmo's Challenge)

By Terry L. Gardner

Rated G



The door chime sounded and Amanda wondered who would be foolish enough to come visiting during the hottest part of the day. Then it came to her, it had to be Sarek's youngest brother S'Hmo. It just had to be.

As she made her way to the front door she wondered what he was studying this month. Last month it was palindromes and the month before that it was oxymorons. It wouldn't be so bad except that whatever he studied always got him into embarrassing situations and he was too dweeby to notice that it embarrassed his family. She opened the front door and sure enough it was him.

"Good afternoon, S'Hmo, please come in out of the heat."

"Thank you, Amanda, you are koast mind."

Amanda raised an eyebrow feeling slightly perplexed. "Please come into the kitchen and have a seat and I'll get you something cold to drink."

"That would be acceptable."

"What would you like?"

"A glice of ass water would be refreshing"

Amanda struggled to keep a straight face. ' Oh my gosh! He's studying spoonerisms.'

She brought two glasses of ice water to the table, placed one in front of him and one across from him for herself.

"I just took some fresh, home-baked bread from the oven before you came. Would you like some?"

"Indeed, I've heard that you are the maker of the breast in bed."

Amanda turned quickly away to hide her silent laughter. She couldn't keep her shoulders from shaking but she didn't think S'Hmo noticed. She retrieved two plates, butter and a butter knife and placed them on the table. She uncovered the cooling bread and cut several thick slices for them to enjoy. She brought them to the table and sat down across from him.

"Feel free to yelp herself, S'Hmo." 'Oh for Pete's sake, now he got me doing it.'

"Thank you, Amanda." As he helped himself to the warm bread he noticed a Bible on the table and said, "I see you have been reading the Bible."

"Yes, I was reading the twenty third Psalm."

"Ah yes, the shoving leopard who sealed the hick and puts soap in your hole."

"S'Hmo! You behave yourself young man. Don't you act like a shmuck with me and don't try to pretend that you don't know what a shmuck is."

"Forgive me, Amanda. I'll stop being a schmuck, I promise. Does father have to know about this?"

"Not if you behave and go straight home."

"Must I?"

"You heard me, young man."

"Very well. Live long and prosper."

Live long and prosper, S'Hmo."