Title: Kal-I-Farr'Terau
(Matchmaker)
Author: Saidicam29
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Sarek receives the services of a
Matchmaker…whether he wants to or not!
Disclaimer: Star Trek and
it's characters are the property of
Sarek watched his young son reach out to
experimentally touch the soft petals of one of Earth's great flora
population. Suddenly the boy startled,
nearly falling to his backside in his haste to avoid the charge of a small
creature. He quickly recovered, and his
curiosity brought him a step closer, again causing the animal to jump as it
made its way from the shade of the vegetation to the safety of the private
pond.
The boy glanced back at his
parents eagerly, "Tehvar'bosh, Sa'mekh?"
Sarek spared an amused glance
towards the boy's mother. "Nirsh, Sa'fu,"
Sarek began, then switched to Standard.
"That is called Rana aurora draytonii, or the
"Stay away from the
water," his mother warned but the boy had already changed his focus to the
frog. He stalked it from behind, his
hands held up, cupped, with the apparent intent to capture the beast.
Sarek turned his attention to
the woman beside him. "You have
come a long way for just a visit."
"You are his
father," she stated simply.
Sarek's gaze remained
penetrating, a silent reprimand for the unsatisfying response.
"And," she
continued hesitantly, "I must confess to a certain amount of…curiosity
regarding this planet you spend so much of your time on."
"Curiosity, T'Rea?"
Sarek gently teased.
She tilted her head up high,
proudly defiant, but her eyes sparkled with silent mirth. "It has been known to happen…on
occasion. Besides…" She paused as both their attention was drawn
by the call of their son, who had finally captured the frog and was showing
them how the beast now sat tamed within the boy's hands. After acknowledging her son's victory, and
warning him once again to stay away from the water, she turned back to her
former husband. "It occurred to me
that, with his kahs'wan approaching, it might be
beneficial for you to spend some time with your son. There has been little opportunity over the
years."
Sarek took a deep
breath. "Indeed, and I believe I
shall miss the kahs'wan as well."
"Your duty is here,
Sarek. Sybok understands." She marveled at how natural it was for her to
still reassure him, to soothe his qualms, even without the bond.
"You are most
generous."
She shook her head,
dismissing his compliment. "And you
are still too free with your praise."
She focused her attention on their son.
"Forgive me." Sarek
bowed his head apologetically. He
watched T'Rea watching Sybok, and he could not vanquish the thought that her
visit had more purpose than simply giving him time with his son. "The monastery does not object to your
absence?"
"I am a Jarok priestess, not a Kolinharu,
Sarek." While the Way of Jarok agreed with Surak that emotion must be mastered
instead of repressed, Jarok believed emotion should
be embraced and understood, and only then could one come to terms with it. She looked at him with patient tolerance,
having always suspected that Sarek's "misunderstanding" of her less
rigid sect came more from an attempt to tease her regarding her different
beliefs than any real ignorance of Jarok's tenets. "My reasons are sufficient."
"Of course," Sarek
placated, changing the subject.
"Your reports indicate Sybok's desert training is proceeding as
planned."
"We do not expect
failure," she assured him.
"Indeed?" Sarek nodded his approval. "In that case, I am confused."
T'Rea glanced at him
sharply. "Explain."
Sarek's eye lifted slightly,
his expression innocent. "If his
success is imminent, then what benefit – so imperative that you left the
monastery and came to Earth – do you expect?"
T'Rea's eyes narrowed with
disapproval, her jaw tightening as she looked away. "If we are not welcome--"
"I did not say
that."
He watched her, the muscles
in her jaw remaining clenched as she considered her next actions. She would not take long, then she would
relent and speak to him of the thoughts that were preoccupying her. She always did. Sarek noticed her glance out of the corner of
her eye, and permitted himself to relax.
"Very well,
Sarek." She looked to ensure Sybok
was well occupied. "I had not
intended to discuss this here, in the open; however, the coming of Sybok's kahs'wan brings to mind the coming of…another significant
event."
Sarek stiffed, his eyes
widening with surprise. Taking a breath
to stabilize himself, now it was he who looked away. "I cannot think of any such event that
would be cause for discussion between us."
"Time is short, and it
has come to my attention you have yet to select a mate."
"How?" Sarek
demanded.
T'Rea turned to face Sarek's
profile. "Your parents are
concerned. You have not responded to any
of the women who offered themselves as your wife."
Sarek looked her way, then
shook his head in disbelief that his parents would speak of this with
anyone. "This is not something to
be discussed, especially with you.
Unless…are you offering as well, T'Rea?"
"Of course not, but
while I may no longer serve as your wife, I still hold a place in your
clan. I am family; Sybok ensures
that." She saw the light leave his
eyes, some dark emotion quickly suppressed by his Surakian way of life. "Sarek," she said apologetically,
"I only meant my condition is unchanged.
I could not--"
"I know," he said
quickly, cutting her short. "It was
an illogical question."
They were both distracted by
the sound of a woman's voice, and they turned to see a human female approaching
Sybok. She spoke with him, and following
his gesture she looked over to where they sat, shielding her eyes against the
late afternoon sun. She called out a
greeting, and raised her hand to which Sarek raised his hand back, fingers
closed. T'Rea hastily copied the
gesture, lest she be guilty of offending the human in some way. The woman then turned her attention back to
Sybok, so T'Rea turned back to Sarek.
"If you have chosen not
to select a mate, I may be able to assist you in overcoming the
fires." She waited patiently for
his response, allowing him time to consider while he stared past her in
contemplation. Two minutes passed…then
four…and finally after five point three minutes she began to suspect she did
not have his full attention.
"Sarek?" Still no
response, so T'Rea followed his gaze, looking behind her to where Sybok and the
Terran were kneeled down in the grass examining something too small for her to
see. She turned back, speaking louder in
hopes of getting his attention. "I
asked whether you will seek a mate or use alternative methods."
"Alternative
methods?" Sarek asked absently
before finally pulling his gaze back to the women beside him. "Jaroks are not
known for their meditative abilities."
"No," she
agreed. "However, historically our
men have had better success at this than Surak's
followers, although even that is rare."
She leaned towards him, her words a warning.
Sarek nodded, then reached
out to lightly touch the back of her fingers with his own. "This is no longer your concern,
T'Rea. There are unbonded
females here prepared to assist should an emergency arise."
"You will not even
consider our methods then?" she asked, disappointment evident in her
expression.
Sarek pulled his hand back,
allowing himself a sigh. "We can
discuss them, but at another time. It is
time for end meal." He stood,
waiting for her to follow.
T'Rea bowed slightly,
allowing the subject to be dropped, for now.
She stood as well, but realized the edge of her traveling cloak was
caught on the corner of the bench. She
gave it a sharp tug, and was surprised to see the end of the bench lift
completely off the ground, although her robe did not become dislodged. She looked at Sarek, amazed. "I feel so strong here."
Sarek permitted himself a
slight smile. "It is the lower
gravity." He reached out to release
her robe. "You should find it
rather difficult to injure yourself here, even with your fragility, but promise
me you will not test it too much."
"Of course not,"
she agreed, then kicked a large stone that lay on the ground before her,
pleased to note not a single twinge of pain, let alone a broken toe. She noted Sarek's disapproving glare. "Interesting," she commented then
turned and called Sybok to join them.
She turned back to see if Sarek
was ready to go, but he was again staring after the Terran as she walked across
the grounds, away from them.
~~**~~
T'Rea sat at her dressing
table, taking her medication and preparing to rest for the night. She glanced in her mirror at Sybok, who was
sitting on her bed reading a PADD about Earth and Terrans.
"You find this planet
interesting, son?" she asked in their native tongue, as Sybok's Standard
was still shaky.
"Yes, Mother. Especially the people." He put the PADD aside, warming up to the
subject. "They are so free with
their emotions, they hide no pain."
"Ah, but be careful,
Sybok. Emotion can be used to mask pain as
effectively as suppression is used to hide it."
"I do not think so. The Terrans I have met have all seemed quite
blissful."
T'Rea raised an eyebrow,
turning in her chair to face her son.
"You have only met one, Sybok, and that was only briefly."
"But I have seen
others…"
"You are too quick to
judge, my son."
"Yes, Mother." He bowed respectfully then resumed his
perusal of the PADD.
T'Rea turned back, picked up
her brush and began working it through her long onyx hair. "That woman…did you speak with
her?"
"Yes, she spoke
Vulcan!" He looked up at her,
eyebrows both raised to show his astonishment at the Terran's feat.
"Indeed," she said
neutrally. "Who is she?"
"An educator." He went back to his studies.
"Here at the
embassy?"
Sybok remained glued to the
small screen before him.
"Yes," he said absently.
"Did she state her
name?"
His brow wrinkled as he
thought, but still he remained fixated on the PADD. "She did, but I do not recall it
precisely."
T'Rea put the brush down,
turning again to her son and placing her hand over the PADD screen. "Did she say what she teaches
here?"
Sybok looked up. "Standard," he replied, his tone
indicating he thought the answer more than obvious.
"I see," she said,
standing up and pushing her chair in.
"Take that to your room, Sybok.
You may study for another hour. I
am fatigued now, however, and shall retire." She placed her hand gently to Sybok's
forehead, allowing her thoughts to express her affection for her son. Feeling him return the thoughts, T'Rea
allowed a smile to grace her lips, which her son also returned. "My kakhartayek khoi'ri.
You have grown so much these past few years, but you have a great legacy
to fulfill. Your father, and his father,
they are both leaders, in their own ways.
They've changed our people for the better, and so will you."
"How, Mother?"
Sybok's brow creased with a child's worry.
"I do not know,
precisely, but I know it just the same.
You are a gift from Shaka'ri, I have told you
that. The Ofereiksu shall guide you, my
son."
"Yes, Mother,"
Sybok replied, fully believing in his mother's great wisdom.
"But even legends need
their rest, Sybok, as well as their mothers." She smiled once more, caressing his cheek
with her paired fingers before steering him towards the door. "One hour, no more," she warned,
closing the door on her son's muttered acquiescence.
~~**~~
T'Rea picked up her food tray
and glanced about the room for a place to sit.
It was mid-meal, and the cafeteria was full of embassy staff, Vulcan and
Terran alike. It was noisy by Vulcan
standards, and although the racket didn't seem to bother the other Vulcans in
the room, she found the chaos disturbing and decided to have mid-meal in her
quarters. She was half way to the door
when she noticed Sarek seated at one of the corner tables with the Terran woman
Sybok met the other day.
The people at the table in
front of her stood up, taking their trays and vacating the spot, so T'Rea
quickly sat in the chair nearest her and watched. Sarek and the woman sat on opposite sides to
each other, both leaning in to catch each other's words for whatever subject
they were discussing. Sarek's face was
relaxed, but his eyes bore a strange intensity while his gaze remained fixed on
her. He hardly moved, and never once
attempted to touch his full plate. She,
on the other hand, was very active. In
one hand she held her fork, and often took bites in between snippets of
conversation. She smiled, a lot, and in
the space of just a few moments laughed several times. Her hands flittered as she spoke, an
invariable flurry of activity that had no significant meaning that T'Rea could
detect.
Scanning the room at large,
T'Rea could see many tables holding a mixture of Terran and Vulcan occupants,
although no other had only two. The
flittering hands appeared to be a human trait, as such gestures could be
regularly seen by both the males and females of the species. The postures varied, but of those not eating,
the males generally leaned back in their seats, hands resting on the table's
surface or crossed across their chests.
The females sat back also, hands resting on crossed legs; or many sat
facing the table, but with their bodies turned away to one side. Interesting.
A movement out of the corner
of her eye led T'Rea back to Sarek's table, where the Terran had stood up and
was looking at the chronometer strapped to her wrist. Sarek stood as well, and when the woman would
have turned to go he called her back, taking a step nearer. They spoke a few more moments, the female's
head nodding in agreement, then she left.
Sarek watched her go, his eyes never leaving her until the doors
swooshed shut behind her. Then he
returned to his seat and finally set to the task of eating.
~~**~~
T'Rea was resting atop her
bed, contemplating. Her door opened, and
Sybok entered softly calling her name to see if she was awake.
"You wish something of
me, my son?"
"Father wishes you to
join us for end-meal."
"So soon?" Her time
sense told her it was an hour earlier than they normally took their meal.
"Yes, he completed his
work early today."
T'Rea sat up slowly, losing
the battle to keep the pain from her expression. "Very well, tell him I shall be down in
a moment."
Sybok looked worriedly at his
mother, immediately going to her dressing table to retrieve the hypo bag from
her drawer. "Will you require the
walking stick tonight?"
T'Rea loaded the device and
applied the hypo to her neck. She sat in
silence, eyes closed, while she waited for some relief. Sybok returned the bag then sat beside her on
the bed. Taking a deep breath, T'Rea
opened her eyes to find her son. "I
feel relief already. The stick will not
be necessary tonight, my son. It is wet
out today, and that has undoubtedly temporarily aggravated my
condition." She stood up, taking
time to stretch the kinks out of her back.
"Come along, Sybok. Your
father is waiting."
They always ate end-meal in
Sarek's suite, giving them the peace and privacy preferred by Vulcan families. No one talked during the meal, as is custom,
but soon the repast was over, and discussion began. Darkness was falling on
T'Rea listened patiently as
Sarek and Sybok discussed the dinosaur exhibits at the local museum Soran had
taken them to see earlier that day.
Sarek was just promising to take Sybok to see a museum featuring
exhibits about Earth's desert cultures when a loud crack of thunder shook the
walls and the lights in the embassy went out for a brief second until the
secondary systems kicked in. Sybok's
eyes became transfixed on the show taking place outside the window, and Sarek
excused him from the table so he might watch the storm up close.
Sarek got up to ring the
chime that would send a member of the kitchen staff to remove their
dinnerware. He returned to his seat, steepling his hands on the table before him. "You had little to say regarding your
experiences on Terra thus far," he observed. "Are you not finding your visit
agreeable?"
"It is quite
interesting; however," she tipped her head graciously, "I am not much
of a traveler."
Sarek nodded. "Do you require anything before I
leave?"
"You are leaving?"
"I have a meeting to
attend."
"Indeed?" T'Rea's
brow lifted slightly. "Sybok
informed me you had completed your work for today."
Sarek's eyes widened
slightly. "I…" He began to carefully straighten his cutlery
on the table before him. "It is
a…personal meeting."
"I see." T'Rea watched
his fidget with the utensils, itching to ask him about the nature of this
meeting, but knowing such inquiry would be impolite, and unwelcome. She already had her own suspicions, however. "Soran is remaining at the
embassy?"
"He is," Sarek
quieted his restless digits.
T'Rea allowed a brief smile
to emerge, unseen due to Sarek's preoccupation. "Then I believe I shall
have everything I need." The
discussion ended upon the arrival of the kitchen staff, and Sarek's subsequent
departure from the embassy.
~**~
Soran rang the chime to
T'Rea's door, entering as the doors slid apart.
The room was dark, the interior fogged by the smoke of the incense T'Rea
had burning throughout the quarters.
Soran stifled a cough, barely resisting the urge to wrinkle his nose at
the unpleasant scent. He turned towards
the center of the room, where several candles had been placed sporadically
around that area, giving just enough light for two speakers to see each other. So, they were to palave – to hold a lengthy discussion tonight.
T'Rea turned to him, holding
a glass of what Soran knew would be saya, the traditional drink offered at palavers, and one that is very intoxicating, if not moderated. "Sit," she incurred, gesturing to
the two large pillows seated opposite each other.
Soran walked towards her,
taking his seat and the cup she offered, but only sipping at the liquid.
T'Rea turned her back to him,
moving to the counter to prepare her own drink.
"You find my incense displeasing?" she asked, humor tinting her
voice.
"I find it is not to my
taste," Soran stated simply.
"Ah, but it is good for
you," T'Rea implored. "It
clears the mind, and the spirit."
"As you wish." Soran bowed his head instinctively, even
though she wasn't watching. He had no
desire to engage in a debate with the woman tonight.
"Sarek never liked my
spices either." She turned towards
him, slowly walking his way. "You
are much alike, the two of you."
Soran said nothing, but watched her insistently. "You are a good friend to him."
"Yes," Soran
stated.
"You have been a good
friend to me," T'Rea offered.
"You are most
kind," Soran replied, becoming slightly weary of this conversation. It was most unusual of T'Rea to seek him out
so.
T'Rea walked past Soran, turning
to watch him from behind, without his knowledge. "Where did Sarek go tonight?" she
softly asked, not missing the stiffening of Soran's back, or the way he barely
caught himself from spinning around to look at her.
"He did not say,"
Soran answered carefully.
"But you
know." T'Rea stepped closer to
Soran, standing directly behind him and bending to put her face nearer
him. "Is he with the teacher?"
Soran remained quiet.
"I have seen them
together. Does he intend to bond with
her?"
This time Soran did turn, for
just a moment, then he faced forward again.
"It is not for me to say, or you to ask," he admonished.
"You are correct Soran,
forgive me." T'Rea stood and took
her seat facing him. She took a drink of
her saya,
watching him over the rim of her cup while she contemplated her next move. "Let us change the subject then. You have been on this planet, around these
people, for many years. Perhaps you
could provide me with some information about them."
"Certainly," Soran
said, relieved to be changing to a safer subject. "What do you wish to know?" He lifted his cup to his lips for another
sip.
"Do you think a human
female could withstand pon farr?"
Soran sputtered, his saya catching in
his throat. "I…I would not
know!" His eyes were wide, his
demeanor clearly affronted at the topic of discussion. "I should go now." He stood to leave, placing his cup on the
floor between the pillows.
"Soran," T'Rea
called out, standing as well as he stopped just inside the doorway. "Time is short, and I do not believe he
will survive without a mate."
Soran released a sigh, her
concern mirrored on his own face.
"I know," he said softly.
"But it is his choice,
T'Rea." With a lingering,
meaningful look Soran left the room.
T'Rea remained still, a
non-committal noise emitting from her throat.
"Yes," she said to the empty room. "But why can we not help him make that
choice?" She quickly swallowed the
rest of her saya,
and cleaned up the room. She had some
planning to do.
~~**~~
For the next several days
T'Rea watched them at lunch in the cafeteria.
Sometimes she'd find them in the embassy gardens, where the woman had
approached Sybok their first day there.
They were cordial, no doubt about that, but she still could not ascertain
precisely what their relationship might be.
Sarek, she knew, was definitely showing interest in the Terran. He was subtle, which is his way, but those
who knew him well would be able read the signals clearly. Soran must know, but he wouldn’t say. If they had intentions to bond already, then
an announcement would have been made.
She would have had no reason to come to Terra.
So, it must be the
woman. T'Rea sat at one of the library
computer terminals and began her research.
{Subject: human mating rituals.}
She looked at the various titles returned to her, and
picked one.
{Females must apply more
criteria to select a male than males apply to a female. It is not the nearest
possibility, but the best possibility that she desires. What constitutes an
alpha male, the best male with which to mate and produce the best possible
offspring, depends on far more factors than any other animal on Earth. The
criteria for her to sexually desire a man can include strength or health or
fighting ability, like the lion or the wolf. However, they can also include
intelligence, money, power, prestige, position, status, attitudes, political or
religious convictions, any number and combination of factors. It is whatever
she believes a man should be that will result in 1) the best possible genes for
her offspring, and 2) the offspring's best chance for survival and ability to
pass on its genes.}
'That is not so different
than us,' T'Rea thought to herself, reading on.
{In any case, she then evaluates those men
who contact her (or she contacts) to see if they really satisfy her criteria.
Again, this is often done through conversation.
This is called dating.}
T'Rea repeated the word
aloud. 'Are Sarek and the Terran
"dating"? They certainly have
had many conversations, but how does one tell if the dialogue holds a purpose
other than the simple exchange of information?'
T'Rea cleared the screen, considering her topic then typed another
search term.
{Signs of sexual interest.}
This time a heading caught
her attention immediately.
{Five Signs She's Interested
In You.
{1- She touches you. This is one of
the most telling signs. When you are out on a date with a woman
who likes you, you will notice that, in most cases, she will find an excuse to
physically touch you in some way during the date. Often it will not be a clearly obvious move like holding your hand
or taking your arm as you both walk down the street together. More often, the
kind of touching referred to here will be something as seemingly insignificant
as a tap on the shoulder from her or her knee "accidentally" bumping
yours and lingering for an extra second before she withdraws it.}
T'Rea paused in her reading to consider this. She had only rarely witnessed Amanda touch
Sarek in any matter. Only once did the
touch seem purposeful. They were sitting
in the cafeteria, and she was speaking to him.
At one point she reached out to briefly touch his hand with hers as she
learned forward to speak to him in an earnest manner. But while purposeful, it had not seemed
significant. However, if the touches
aren't supposed to appear significant, how does one tell if the touch was
indeed a sign of interest rather than an "accident"? Shaking her head in dismay, T'Rea quickly
read the rest of the signs: She compliments you; She exhibits a genuine
curiosity about you; She makes references to future activities together, and
She gives you a kiss at the end of the date.
T'Rea had certainly not witnessed a kiss between the two, and she'd seen
humans engage in the behavior several times during her visit, it was not
something she'd miss! The rest she could
not know for certain without hearing their conversations.
T'Rea turned off the terminal and sat back in her seat. This information was useless to her. Where are the protocols, the rituals? This
was all so imprecise; it's a wonder these people ever manage to find mates at
all. No, this information in no way
revealed whether Amanda returned Sarek's interest. She'd have to develop her own test
instead. 'No wonder our ancestors took
to arranging our bondings for us,' she thought as she
made her way from the library to the embassy cafeteria.
~~**~~
T'Rea selected her lunch and
looked to the corner table. Sarek was
there, but Amanda had not yet arrived.
Perfect. T'Rea made a beeline to
Sarek's table, standing quietly at the chair next to his, awaiting his
invitation to join. Sarek slowly looked
up from where he was reading his PADD.
T'Rea didn't miss the surprise in his eyes, nor the way he quickly
glanced towards the door, looking for his regular companion.
"T'Rea," Sarek
greeted neutrally. "You require
something of me?"
"I require
mid-meal," T'Rea stated innocently.
"Yes, of
course." Sarek again glanced at the
door, then gestured to the seat before her.
"I would be honored if you would share a meal with me."
Somehow, in this instance,
she doubted it. "The honor is
mine," she replied, taking her seat and settling in to partake of the
meal. After a brief hesitation, Sarek did
as well. T'Rea didn't miss the minute
stiffening of her companion, and she glanced up fully prepared to see the
Terran woman approaching them. She was,
carrying her tray with one hand as she absently manipulated a mini-PADD with
her other hand. She was nearly at the
table before she glanced up and noticed Sarek wasn't alone. Her surprise was unmistakable, by both her
expression and the audible gasp that escaped her lips. T'Rea saw her quickly look around for another
seat, but before the woman could head off, she spoke up. "It would be an honor to have you join
us," T'Rea invited.
The woman glanced at Sarek,
who in turn glanced at T'Rea, their looks questioning, but she didn't return
his gaze.
"Okay," the woman
said hesitantly, setting her things at the table and taking a seat. "The honor is mine," she quickly
intoned, having apparently just remembered the Vulcan courtesy.
T'Rea feigned interest in her
meal, pretending not to notice the silent exchanges occurring between the two
of them. She waited, but when no one
else spoke she took the initiative.
"You are the teacher here?"
Amanda gaped at her, then
quickly recovered. "Yes, one of
them. I teach Standard to the embassy
staff and children."
"Forgive me," Sarek
softly interceded. "It is protocol
on Earth that I should introduce the two of you." He looked straight ahead, staring at some
spot in the middle of the table.
"T'Rea, this is Amanda Grayson, one of the few Terrans we are
fortunate to have working with us."
Amanda raised her hand in the
ta'al. "I come to serve."
T'Rea returned the
gesture. "You service honors us,
T'sai."
"This," Sarek
continued, "is T'Rea. She is
visiting from Vulcan."
T'Rea reached her hand across
the table. "I believe the custom
here is called a handshake, is it not?"
Amanda smiled
graciously. "Yes, it is." She reached out and took the Vulcan's hand in
a brief, light shake.
T'Rea lowered her mental
shields, allowing their minds to brush, but the contact was too brief to sense
much of anything. She waited for their
discussions to begin, the animated talks she'd been watching between them, but
they remained quiet. Amanda picked at
her food, Sarek simply sat quietly.
Obviously her presence was preventing them from speaking. But why?
Was it an observance of the Vulcan custom to not talk during a meal, in
reverence to her? Was it that their
conversations are, in fact, too personal to take place in front of others? 'This is taking too long…' she thought,
searching for a better alternative.
Amanda set her fork down with
an audible clink. "I should
probably go."
'No!' T'Rea's mind
shouted. 'I've learned nothing so
far.' Her voice, however, betrayed none
of her mind's panic. "Why?"
Amanda glanced from Sarek
back to T'Rea. "Well, you've come
all this way, and it certainly wasn't to see me." She smiled
nervously. "I should give you
privacy."
"If we required privacy,
we would not be seated in public."
Amanda stared at the woman
before her, also wondering about the strange tension at the table. She and this woman had just met, and
certainly nothing in the Vulcan's demeanor indicated disapproval towards
Amanda, but she felt tension just the same.
Amanda looked over to Sarek for guidance, and at his slight nod she
relaxed slightly. "Of course you
wouldn't. Forgive me," Amanda bowed
her head.
T'Rea's head cocked slightly
to the side, her brow wrinkling ever so slightly. She looked at Sarek, puzzled.
"Humans," Sarek
explained, "are rather easily offended.
As a result, when a human does not mean to offend, he tends to be excessively
penitent in order to prevent the other from taking offence. The correct response is 'there is nothing to
forgive', or 'do not worry about it'."
"Ah," T'Rea nodded
sagely, thinking that seemed like much more of a hassle rather than simply not
taking offense to begin with. She turned
to Amanda. "I was
unaware." The human only nodded in
return, but T'Rea didn't notice as an idea suddenly sprung forth. "Perhaps I should take lessons from you
as well," she suggested.
Before Amanda could answer
Sarek interceded. "Your Standard is
acceptable."
Both women looked at him,
surprised. T'Rea recovered first. "I can translate the words well enough,
but obviously my grasp of the vernacular language is lacking."
Sarek took a deep
breath. "It would be an imposition
on her time, T'Rea. Ms. Grayson is
contracted to instruct embassy staff and children, not visitors."
No one noticed the way Amanda
stiffened upon hearing him address her formally, and she was about to volunteer
to tutor the woman when T'Rea also cut her off.
"Then I certainly think our son could benefit from her
instruction."
"'Our' son?" Amanda
spat out louder than she had intended.
Now she had both their attention, and that of a couple of the nearby
tables. Her companions glanced around
uncomfortably, and heat flushed across Amanda's face as she realized she had
embarrassed them all. "I'm
sorry."
"Sybok," T'Rea
clarified. "I believe you have met
him already."
Amanda took a deep breath,
holding it a few seconds before blowing it out.
"I should definitely leave the two of you alone." She jumped from her seat and quickly dumped
her tray on the way out the door.
No one stopped her, not even
when they noticed she'd left her mini-PADD behind. Sarek and T'Rea both sat frozen for several
minutes. Finally, slowly, Sarek reached
out to grab the mini-PADD and place it with his. He also rose from his chair. "I believe I shall take my leave as
well."
"You have not
eaten," T'Rea pointed out.
"I find…I do not require
sustenance at this time either." He
picked up his things, and calmly dumped his tray before leaving the cafeteria.
~~**~~
It took T'Rea almost thirty
minutes to learn where Ms. Grayson's office was located, then to actually find
the small office in the bowels of the embassy itself. She was turning a corner when she noticed
Amanda's office straight ahead, and through the glass in the door she could see
Sarek and Amanda together, speaking.
Stopping to observe, T'Rea noticed Amanda shake her head vigorously, and
while her words were low, T'Rea could just make them out.
"It's my fault, I
shouldn't have reacted the way I did."
Sarek's low tones answered,
but it was too muffled for T'Rea to decipher the words.
"I know Vulcans are
private, but at this point I thought I'd at least know the basics like you have
a wife and kids."
T'Rea strained to catch
Sarek's response, but was unsuccessful.
"Oh..."
Again Sarek spoke.
"No, don't
apologize. It's just…I'm not really even
sure how to explain it. It makes me feel
aggrieved, to some extent, that I have shared personal information about
myself, but you still chose to hide everything from me."
Sarek's response was quick,
and sharp. 'A denial,' T'Rea thought.
"I know, I know. 'Hide' was…a poor choice of words." Amanda turned her back to him, crossing her
arms across her chest protectively.
T'Rea's breath caught as she
saw Sarek reach out to touch Amanda's shoulder, but he hesitated, his hand
hovering, then pulled away. She released
her breath.
There was a moment of
respite, where neither of them moved, and T'Rea took the opportunity to finish
her walk to the room, knocking politely on the door as though she'd just
arrived. Sarek quickly backed further
away from Amanda, turning away, while Amanda turned to open the door and allow
T'Rea to enter.
"I do not intend to
intrude," T'Rea said, not missing Sarek's quick look upon hearing her
voice.
"You're not,"
Amanda assured her. "How may I be
of service, T'sai?"
"I wished to, again,
request your services for…Sybok."
Sarek stepped towards them,
beginning to object.
"Certainly," Amanda
quickly agreed before he could speak.
"And I can also assist you with your vernacular as well."
"We do not wish to
burden you," Sarek said.
"You're not. I'd be honored." Amanda and Sarek looked to each other,
locking gazes for so long T'Rea had to look away from their intensity. With a sigh Amanda turned from him,
addressing her again. "What time
would you like to meet?"
"At your convenience,
T'sai." T'Rea still avoided eye contact with the human.
"I can meet you right
before lunch at, let's say, 1130 hours, if that's agreeable. Then I can see Sybok in the
afternoons." T'Rea nodded, and with
a murmured excuse concerning being late to a meeting and a hurried promise to
see the Vulcan tomorrow, Amanda left her office.
T'Rea continued to look at
the floor, feeling Sarek's stare on her.
Finally she looked up, meeting his gaze directly. Was it accusatory? Or was she projecting? 'Illogical,' she thought dismissively. 'I have done nothing wrong. I am helping him.' Confident in her actions, T'Rea's head lifted
defiantly, silently daring Sarek to rebuke her.
Sarek's lips pressed together
in a grim line, and it was he who looked away as he walked passed his former
wife and left her there, alone.
~~**~~
A week had passed, and T'Rea
sat in Amanda's office vaguely listening to the teacher's explanation of a list
of randomly selected vernacular expressions she'd downloaded that day. Admittedly, she was not particularly
interested in the subject at hand, but thus far no opportunity to broach
personal topics had arisen. And there
was plenty she wished to ask the human.
T'Rea still went to the cafeteria to observe them together, but so far –
since the day T'Rea had joined them – Amanda had not appeared. Sarek sat alone, looking for her, but she
never came.
"'It's no sweat to have the report in to you
by Monday'," Amanda read, hardly bothering to look up as she went through
the list, "means it is not a problem.
'The politician ran out of gas
during the campaign,' means he faltered in his speech, or lost interest or
momentum in his topic." She looked
up at T'Rea, and while the Vulcan's eyes remained fixed on her, Amanda had
taught here long enough to discern real interest from polite attention. "Perhaps we should have you attempt to
decipher the sentences now?"
T'Rea nodded her assent.
"Okay," Amanda
glanced down at the list for the next sentence.
"'They are really in deep with each other.'" She looked back at T'Rea and waited while she
considered the meaning.
"It means…they are
deeply involved together, in some manner."
"Correct," Amanda
praised her, glancing back to the list for another.
"Involved in what
way?" T'Rea asked.
Amanda took a deep breath,
thinking. "Oh…in many sorts of
ways. It could refer to partners of some
kind, like business partners who work closely together. Or it could refer to a friendship, or a
romance."
"Romance…" T'Rea
repeated softly. "Like when a
couple stare 'deeply' into each other's eyes?"
"I think you're reading
too 'deeply' into these expressions," Amanda smiled pleasantly, "but
I suppose it fits."
"Are you 'in deep' with
anyone, Amanda?"
Amanda's smile faded. "Well," she cleared her throat,
"it's not a phrase I tend to use myself, but I suppose I have certain
relationships that might be described as such."
"Are you and Sarek 'in
deep' with each other?"
Amanda looked away,
uncomfortable. "I…uh…" She
shook her head. "That is a personal
question."
"I thought humans didn't
mind personal questions so much?"
"We don't, not as much
as Vulcans. But, in this case, it's…too
personal." Clearing her throat,
Amanda picked up the PADD to find another expression.
"What is so different
about 'this case'?"
Amanda blew out an
exasperated breath. "It just
is. Now, please, let's get back to the
lesson."
"Why do you not attend
mid-meal with Sarek anymore?" T'Rea
asked innocently, her demeanor curious.
"I've been busy--"
"He looks for you,
everyday."
Amanda stared at her desk,
her lips pressing into a thin line.
T'Rea waited patiently for her response, watching how the muscles in her
jaw clenched and she swallowed several times in quick succession. Finally she spoke, her words so soft the
Vulcan almost had difficulty hearing them.
"The lesson is over for today.
I'd like you to leave."
T'Rea hesitated, then quietly
nodded her head and left the office.
~~**~~
T'Rea sat at her table,
watching Sarek slowly consume his meal. For
the tenth time in the 15.8 minutes she had been present he saw him glance at
the door, then watched his gaze wander across the room, searching. This time, however, his gaze met hers, and
when he saw her watching he quickly diverted his eyes back to his tray. T'Rea stood, and taking her tray with her,
she purposely walked to his table.
"Sarek, I must speak
with you."
"I would prefer to
postpone any discussion until end-meal."
T'Rea blinked at the
rejection, refusing to permit it to deter her.
"I do not believe this is a discussion appropriate to have in front
of Sybok."
Sarek hesitated, then looked
up at her, silently gesturing for her to take the seat before her. She did, but once seated she found herself
unsure of how to proceed. She was so certain
before she came over… "I believe
Ms. Grayson is angry with me," she stated simply.
Sarek flicked an eyebrow
upward. "What makes you think
so?"
"She told me to leave
her office, with no explanation, and before our lesson was due to end."
This time Sarek blinked,
several times, while he contemplated such behavior on Amanda's part. "What do you believe caused the
offence?"
T'Rea looked away
uncomfortably. "I…asked her
questions."
Sarek's eyes narrowed
guardedly. "I have never found
Amanda to be easily offended… What was
the nature of your questions?"
T'Rea cleared her throat
softly. "My inquiry
concerned…you…and her relationship with you."
Sarek's eyes widened in
disbelief. "Why would you do such a
thing? What do you seek to
accomplish?"
Taking a deep breath, T'Rea
locked her gaze with his, her voice strong and sure. "I am attempting to help you."
"Help me how?"
Sarek demanded.
"Help you in selecting a
mate."
There, she said it. T'Rea sat still, head high and defiant, while
Sarek sat in stunned silence, the slight shaking of his head his only reaction
thus far. His mouth opened, to speak
presumably, but no words came out. He
only stared in open-mouthed incredulity.
"It is logical; I was
your wife."
"This is precisely why
you should not be involved in such matters."
T'Rea shook her head
dismissively. "No one, but I know
you in this manner; therefore, who better to select a female who is capable of
giving those things you require from a mate?"
"No," Sarek said
resolutely. "You owe Ms. Grayson an
apology, and you are not to speak of this with her again. Or anyone else."
"But you want her,"
she pointed out, "and I am not certain, but I think perhaps she wants you
as well."
Sarek flushed, a green hue
momentarily tinting his face. "What
I want it unimportant. It is only logic
that prevails." He stood to leave,
but paused, his expression grim.
"If you wish to help me, show me the methods you mentioned."
T'Rea bowed her head, staring
at her hands in her lap. She nodded her
assent. "When?"
"The night after next,
many of my aides are leaving on a late night excursion to witness an event
called a 'grunion run'. I expect it
unlikely we would be disturbed at that time.
Send Sybok with them, and we will do it then."
T'Rea never looked up, and as
soon as she agreed Sarek left the cafeteria to bury himself in work the rest of
the night. She and Sybok dined alone
that evening for the first time since their arrival.
~~**~~
Sarek sat on the over-sized
pillow placed on the floor, watching as T'Rea made her preparations for the
night. Many pillows had been placed in a
large semi-circle; in the middle sat a large meditation pot, its fire lit and
embers burning bright. The lights were
dim, and as T'Rea took a seat a few feet away from him she pulled from the
pocket of her robes four small pouches.
Sarek watched quietly, leaning back to rest on his elbows as the effects
of the saya
took over. T'Rea had given him a rather
generous serving at dinner, and had insisted he consume the entire amount.
T'Rea opened two of the
pouches, and took a pinch of dried herbs from each which she threw into the
fire, causing a faint smoke to fill the room.
"This is hla'meth
and lhm'ta,
they will assist in clearing your mind, and improving your focus."
"I am familiar with
meditative aides, T'Rea," Sarek said lazily.
"You are relaxed, I
see," she observed, humor tinting her words.
Sarek made a non-committal
noise as he continued to watch her. He was
dressed in only his meditation robe, although T'Rea remained in her day-wear.
"Begin your
meditations," she instructed.
Sarek sat up to move into a
kneeling position, his feet tucked beneath his buttocks, still facing the
firepot. "Yes, pihlora," he said smartly.
She waited a moment, giving
him time to tune her out, then she opened the third pouch to throw a generous
amount of dried moss into the flame.
Smoke poured out from the pot now, hitting Sarek squarely and filling the
room with a thick odor.
His face crinkled, and he
coughed once as his eyes opened to look for her through the haze. "What is that?"
"It is galendu'un, now
return to your meditations."
T'Rea's voice was faint,
coming from some unseen place beyond the boundary of his vision. He couldn't know she was still a mere few feet
away from him. "Dream moss? You wish me to hallucinate through pon farr?"
"You are not in pon farr," T'Rea explained,
"but you must believe that you are in order for me to see how well you can
fight the effects. This will make you
open to suggestions that you ordinarily would be immune to. Clear your mind so we may begin." She quietly took a hypo from the fourth pouch
and injected herself with a galendu'un antidote, to ensure her mind remained clear throughout
the evening.
"You think mere
suggestion will convince me…" He
stopped short, his eyes widening.
"Can you do that?"
"I am gifted psionically, you know that.
Plus, I have been training with the Jarok
masters for many years now." T'Rea
could hear Sarek shift around on the floor, his unease palpable. "I would never harm you, tal'kam. You
will only feel the slight brush of my mind seeking yours. Your thoughts will be your own, I seek only
to send thoughts, not to receive. Now,
please, resume your meditations."
Sarek obeyed, focusing his
attention on the stone beast before him, his thoughts turned inward. Nearly twenty minutes passed while T'Rea
waited patiently, and when she saw his breathing slow, and his face finally relaxed
she rose from her seat and began to slowly pace the perimeter of the
pillows. Her voice was soft and slow,
drawing Sarek into her words without pulling him from his meditative
trance. She allowed her mind to reach
out and touch his, gently pushing past his shields to stimulate those parts of
the mind involved with autonomic response, and to cause Sarek to feel some of
the symptoms of pon farr. 'Flames,' she thought, sending him images of
his body immersed in heat, of the fire pit at their koonut-kali'fee, the beat of the
drums pounding in the background…like that of the Vulcan pulse.
"Watch the fire,
Sarek. See the flames dance? See them burn?"
Sarek grunted softly.
"They burn you too. The flames lick your flesh, they scorch your
heart, they inflame your mind. Your
blood burns."
She saw him tense, his brow
wrinkled in concentration. "You
feel it. The ancient drives pull at
you. The need to mate is upon you. You seek she who can soothe the flames."
"T'Rea," Sarek
called out pleadingly.
T'Rea swallowed against the
emotion that swelled within her.
"No," she said firmly.
"There is no T'Rea. There is
no one to see you through this."
A look of despair crossed his
face, and she watched as Sarek's breathing became increasingly erratic, his panting
audible. He trembled as he kneeled
before the fire pot.
"Focus, Sarek," she
snapped, ensuring she got through to him.
"Control your breathing."
Sarek straightened, his
breathing calming, but his trembling refused to cease. "I…need…"
'This is nothing compared to
the real thing, and he is unable to control for even a moment.' T'Rea sighed, permitting him some time to
attempt to compensate for his pseudo-pon
farr. She watched him lose the
battle, his eyes tightly shut, but his focus lost in his imaginary
madness. His breathing became erratic
again, and he began to pull at his robe uncomfortably.
"I…need," he begged.
T'Rea kneeled beside
him. "Who, Sarek? Who do you need? You must overcome this. Fight the madness, find your center. Control your breathing! There is no one for you."
"Yes," he hissed.
"A--" He stopped, his panting
lessening although his breathing remained shallow.
"A what?" T'Rea
asked, her mind searching for what he might mean. "A surrogate? A bondmate? A…" Her mind raced through the
possibilities. "Amanda?" she
asked, his sharp intake of breath all the answer she needed.
"You want Amanda as
bondmate?"
Sarek nodded vigorously, then
just as fast his began shaking his head.
"No, I can not. Must
not…" T'Rea didn't miss how his
hand had disappeared beneath the edge of his robe to stroke himself in an
attempt to ease his discomfort. "I
will…control. I must!"
"Why? Why must you control? Why not Amanda, if it
is she you want? Did she refuse
you?"
Sarek shook his head.
"Does she have a
bondmate?"
Again he shook his head. T'Rea sat back, watching the pain he
unknowingly expressed. His breathing was
fast, as was his fist beneath his robes.
'How could this possibly be preferable to taking a mate?' She closed her eyes in concentration,
reaching further out into the recesses of Sarek's mind to search for any
clues…his thoughts, or maybe his feelings.
Suddenly she found it. Fear.
"You are afraid,
Sarek. Afraid of…" She paused to concentrate some more, trying
to read his mind clearer. "…hurting
her. Perhaps of…disgusting her with your
desires."
He nodded miserably, his eyes
finally opening, pupils dilated in his drug-enhanced state, as he looked at
her.
T'Rea shook her head dismissively. "Fear is an obstacle; a thing that must
be exposed and reckoned with, not hidden under centuries of tradition and
repression." She inched closer to
him, raising her hands in preparation of a mind meld. "Share it with me, all of it Sarek, and
gain strength from it. Release your pain
and experience your fulfillment."
When he didn't object, T'Rea
leaned closer still, placing her fingers against his PSI points and initiated
the meld. Sarek leaned into her, one
hand coming up to stroke her nose and cheek, to which she turned away. She focused on the meld, trying to navigate
through Sarek's unusually chaotic mind.
"I have watched you with her," T'Rea admitted, attempting to
get Sarek to focus on the subject at hand.
"I see the way you look at her, so intense. You have never looked at another that
way."
Sarek stilled immediately,
his mind fully intertwining with hers.
"You like…her
smell. And her laugh. The way she teases you in private."
Sarek slowly nodded, lost in
the thoughts the meld was bringing forth for them both to share. T'Rea's imagine blurred before him and in its
place Amanda appeared, soft and alluring.
His desires at last overcoming him, he grabbed T'Rea's arms, pushing her
forcefully back against the pillows.
T'Rea cried out, tears of
pain springing unbidden from the pain his tight grip induced. "No," she cried out, but her pain
strangled her words. Sarek either didn't
hear her, or didn't heed. Either way, he
lay atop of her, nuzzling his face against her neck and prying impatiently at
her clothing. 'He has gained weight,'
T'Rea couldn't help but notice as she fought for air beneath his bulk. She got her hands between them, and gave a
shove; but while it wasn't nearly enough to dislodge him, Sarek did shift his
weight to the side, at least permitting her to take a full breath. His hands found their way inside her tunic,
and T'Rea lay there, gasping for air, and unable to keep herself fully detached
from his ministrations. His erection
pressed hard against her. Her breasts
reciprocated in kind against his palms.
She closed her eyes, concentrating on the reasons why giving in would be
wrong.
"Amanda," Sarek
whispered passionately against her ear, giving T'Rea all the reason she needed.
"No, Sarek. Not Amanda." When he didn't seem to hear her she reached
up to slap him across the face.
"Not Amanda, T'Rea," she yelled at him, relieved to see some
sign of comprehension.
"T'Rea…" Sarek
looked at her, appearing surprised to find her there. "Yes, of course. T'Rea…" Sarek leaned into her again, his
hands continuing their quest to divest her of her clothing. "Parted from me and never
parted…" He buried his face between
her breasts.
"No," T'Rea
intoned, her voice cracking. "We
are parted, Sarek. It is time for you to
take another."
He shook his head against
her. "No, we can do this. You have done it before." He moved back to her face, nuzzling her
affectionately. "We know each
other. I have more control this time;
you shall not be hurt."
That was true. He was not really in pon farr, and would not endure plak tow. She could ease his
discomfort; soothe his flames, this one last time. But what about next time, when it was
real? When his life was in jeopardy and
he neither had a mate who could survive his Time nor enough control to master
it himself. 'I must be logical', she
thought bitterly. "No, Sarek."
she insisted.
"I need you!" he
hissed angrily. "I burn.--"
"No, it is in your
mind. You are in a galendu'un-induced
hallucination. You are not in pon farr. You do not burn; you will not die."
Sarek shook his head in
denial.
"You are an unbonded male, with sufficient time before your next pon farr to select a mate, this time one
of your own choosing."
Sarek lifted his head,
glaring at her. "You think that is
a position to be coveted? I am
responsible for my own choice; I must find someone, a stranger, and put my life
in her hands. Hope that she is of the
character I believe her to be, hope that she is willing, and able to serve
me. If I err, I die. I do not want this choice. You are the one selected for me. I trust in the judgment of my elders." He moved against her again, satisfied with
his arguments.
T'Rea swallowed hard. "The elders could not predict my
condition. Akshem'tehnstoraya is undetectable
before puberty, and incurable. I am not
fit to be a bondmate."
"Illogical," Sarek
murmured against her. "You served
me. You bore Sybok. Can you deny these facts?"
"No, but--"
"Then serve me now,
T'Rea. I beg of you!" He grabbed her hand, guiding it towards his
member, aching for her touch.
She hastily pulled away,
ignoring the pain. "Sarek, I am
dying!"
He stopped, staring at her
incredulously. T'Rea was pleased to note
his eyes seemed a bit clearer. Sarek
rolled off her, flopping onto his back in desolation. T'Rea sat up, straightening her clothing.
"I will die as
well," Sarek stated resolutely.
"No. You will select a mate. If not Amanda, then someone else."
At the mention of the
Terran's name, Sarek again groaned in despair, turning on his side away from
T'Rea. "She is not here," he
spat out. "She is on a beach,
watching fish breed." He sighed
forlornly. "I was supposed to go
with her."
T'Rea raised an eyebrow at
his histrionic display. 'This is what
results from excessive repression of emotion.
Vulcans who fall apart from a little dream moss in their system.' She got up to retrieve her hypo pouch,
preparing to end Sarek's misery for the night, when the chime to his suite
rang. Not wanting anyone to see Sarek in
his current state, T'Rea quickly exited the living area, closing the drapes
that separated it from the foyer, and answered the door.
Surprise mirrored the faces
of both women when the door opened.
"T'Rea!" Amanda
exclaimed, not expecting to find Sarek's ex-wife in his room at
"I thought you were at
the beach?"
"I was; we just got
back. Sybok went straight to his
room," Amanda quickly explained.
'He will be looking for me,'
T'Rea automatically thought.
"I…I had taped the
run. For Sarek." Amanda numbly held up the disc. "I shouldn't have come so early. Forgive me." She turned to go.
"Amanda?!"
She paused upon hearing
Sarek's voice, some strange quality to it causing some inner alarm to go off,
which triggered a prickling chill to surge up her spine. She looked questioningly at T'Rea.
"I can give it to him,
if you wish." T'Rea quickly reached
out to take the disc from her hand.
Amanda didn't notice as she stepped
closer, invading the Vulcan's personal space in her attempt to peek behind the
woman. "Sarek?" she called
out.
"Amanda," he moaned
thickly.
Amanda's eyes widened in
alarm as she shot another glance at T'Rea.
"He is…not himself, at
the moment. It would be best if you
returned tomorrow."
"Is he ill?"
"No--" T'Rea began,
but Amanda didn't stay long enough to listen, brushing forcibly past her to
access Sarek's suite. T'Rea
automatically pressed her hand against her right shoulder, which now ached from
where the Terran had bumped against her in her haste to enter the room. Releasing a heavy sigh, T'Rea closed the door
behind them.
"Sarek?" Amanda pushed the drapes aside and entered
the living area. She stopped
immediately, her vision compromised in the dark, smoky interior. She crinkled her nose, making a feign attempt
to wave the smoke away from her. It
stunk. "Sarek, are you okay?"
she asked, seeing him sprawled on some pillows in the center of the room.
He raised his head, staring
at her dumbfounded. He held his hand
out, beckoning to her, gasping when the vision drew closer.
Amanda kneeled beside him,
leaning over him worriedly. "What
is this stuff?" she asked, fighting off what promised to be one whopper of
a headache if she didn't leave this room soon.
T'Rea came in, opening the
drapes and vents to clear the air.
"He is under the effects of galendu'un, a moss
found on Vulcan. It is collected, dried,
and burned; the fumes produce hallucinogenic effects."
"You got him
high!?" Amanda sat back on her
rump, relieved the headache seemed to be dissipating, but suddenly feeling
rather weary herself. She hardly noticed
how Sarek's hands gently roamed up her arm and caressed her face.
"Amazing. It is so real; I could never have imagined,"
he murmured, turning to T'Rea who stood by the doorway. "If this works, I shall never question
your ways again, t'hy'la." He turned back to Amanda, cupped his hands
behind her head, tipping her face up towards him.
"Sarek," T'Rea
called out warningly, concerned where this was going.
Amanda stared up at him
drowsily, dizzy from the fumes that had yet to empty from the room, her own
vision swimming slightly before her. She
erupted into a fit of giggles, the cause of which was completely unknown even
to her, which made her laugh even harder, earning her an endearing smile from
Sarek. Suddenly his smile vanished, and
Amanda watched helplessly, clueless, as his face loomed larger and larger
before her eyes, and finally his lips pressed against hers.
With a savage growl Sarek
pushed Amanda back against the pillows, covering her body with his and letting
his lust rein free. Amanda laughed
again, oblivious to ferocity of his passions.
"Sarek, no," T'Rea
yelled, running to them to grab Sarek's shoulder, attempting to pull him from
Amanda. 'All we need is a Terran
attacked in the ambassador's suite,' she thought morosely. Sarek shrugged off her grip, undeterred. "Kroy'kah!" she shouted, the ancient command impossible
for any Vulcan to refuse.
Sarek stopped; bracing
himself over Amanda, his head up, eyes squeezed shut. He trembled in his effort to obey her orders,
and refuse his own.
Amanda gazed up at him in
wonderment. There was no mirth in her
expression now. Something was wrong here
– she had enough sense left to know that – but what? She couldn’t think; everything around her
seemed too…large, too bright, and too loud.
"Do not be afraid,"
T'Rea attempted to comfort her as she ran for the antidote hypo.
'Afraid?' Amanda thought
dully. She slowed reached out, faintly
touching Sarek's lips, then his cheek.
She grazed her fingertips along the opening of his robe, across his
chest. He moaned, his trembling
increasing tenfold, eliciting a soft gasp from Amanda. 'No, not afraid.'
Sarek opened his eyes,
looking down at her, their gazes locked.
He didn't flinch as T'Rea injected the hypo into his neck. She stood beside them, waiting for the drug
to work, for his mind to clear. She only
hoped the human could understand. She
did try to send her away.
T'Rea startled when Amanda
suddenly reached up to wrap her arm around Sarek's neck, dragging him down to
her. Sarek didn't object, and seemed to
relish her touch as Amanda wrapped herself around him, kissing him deeply. T'Rea slowly backed away, her gaze transfixed
on them, only vaguely aware when she had backed into the wall. Low moans filled the room, intimate murmurs
so mixed she could not decipher which came from whom. Numbly T'Rea turned to leave, pushing aside
her own pain as she locked the door behind her.
~~**~~
T'Rea opened her eyes with a
sigh, sliding back off her knees to sit on the floor completely. Her meditations were…less than satisfying
tonight. Her feelings were too
complicated. She had known Sarek since
they were young children, been friends with him. They both were raised with the knowledge that
when the time came, when they were adults, that they would marry and raise a
family. Together. And they did, or at least, that's what they
intended to do. But then, as T'Rea grew
older they began to realize she had a tendency to injure herself easily. Her parents, initially, attributed it to her
adventurous nature – generally in the company of Sarek and other various
friends. The injuries were never
serious, an occasional broken metatarsal, or a fractured metacarpal. As the years passed, the injuries were less
common as T'Rea's interests turned to more sedate topics.
Then Sarek's pon farr came. They met at the appointed place, and were
married in the elaborate but quick ceremony that had joined bondmates for
centuries past. Then their families left
them on the lands of Sarek's ancestors, and they went to the caverns to
consummate their marriage, and – gods willing – create their progeny. The fires burned hot in both of them, the
final bonding filling T'Rea with much of the passion that coursed through
Sarek's blood. They went to each other
willingly, eager to sooth the flames.
She couldn't say it was anything she was particularly looking forward
to, but it was her duty – one she wouldn't trust to any other as Sarek's very
life was at stake. But while her mind
was willing to meet Sarek's fervor, her body could not. A full day had passed in mindless copulation,
not without pleasure, she had to admit.
But then a miscalculated turn of her leg, and a grip too tight in the
throws of passion, caused her femur to snap.
She screamed out, the pain shocking her out of her lustful craze. Sarek didn't stop, not immediately, but as
soon as that cycle was completed, relieving some of his need, he realized the
situation and called for help.
Fortunately, the shock – and probably the guilt – combined with the
release he'd had thus far seemed enough to resolve the pon farr.
Finally, they discovered
it. A genetic disorder, called Akshem'tehnstoraya,
was slowly causing her body to slowly eat away at itself. There is no way to reverse it, and no cure to
halt the effects. The chemical changes
caused by puberty, or pregnancy, accelerate the disease. Her time was limited, and while hormonal
therapies could, occasionally, extend the lifespan, her time was greatly
limited. She would not survive Sarek's
next pon farr. She was unfit to be a bondmate. So, they were divorced.
She moved to the Jarok monastery, to pursue her predilection for her
religion. Shortly thereafter, she
discovered she was with child. They told
her she could not carry to term, that she would not survive the birth, and it
was unlikely her child would either.
They wanted to remove the fetus and complete its gestation in their
laboratories. She refused. No, it was not logical. It was a sign. Her gods gifted her this child, the only one
she would ever have, for a purpose. She
would not turn that responsibility over to another for even a second. Sybok survived, as did she. She suffered a broken pelvis, and dislocated
hip during delivery, but these healed over time. And they'd been together ever since. Sarek never once fought her decisions. She knew he often disapproved of her methods
and beliefs, but no doubt he felt this child an appropriate penance for what
she had endured at his hands. Sarek was
honorable.
And so was she. And that was why, even though she was no
longer his wife, she considered herself responsible for seeing him through pon farr. She could not do it herself, but she could,
and would, see that a suitable replacement was found. Besides, she couldn't know how much longer
she would live, and it would bring her peace to know a woman she approved of
would assist Sarek in caring for their son.
So…why this internal unrest?
Amanda Grayson had many
admirable qualities. She was certainly
surprised by Sarek's interest in her, but she was actually pleased by the
notion, since it would mean there was someone to balance out Sarek's Surkian stringency.
So, Sarek wanted her, and she seemed to share his interest. 'Why am I not relieved?' T'Rea asked
herself. 'Well, I cannot be certain they
are…compatible, can I? If the human is
unable to handle Sarek's needs than she is of no more use to him than I
am.' There was silence as her thoughts
turned inward. 'I could check on them.'
She thought to herself, wondering why this thought caused a sting of jealousy
when she pondered the idea that they could be doing fine. She examined her motives. She did want to find a wife for Sarek, didn't
she? She nodded, as if someone had asked
her. But reason and feelings were not always of the same opinion. She had been trained to fill a specific role
for that specific man for most of her life.
Perhaps it will not be as easy to relinquish that role as she had
thought. Taking a deep breath, to slow down her pulse and strengthened her
resolve, T'Rea got up and headed towards Sarek's suite.
She quietly opened the door,
poking her head in just enough to have a listen. It'd been about four hours since she left
this room, and now there was no noise to discern. She walked in, closing the door behind her
and softly made her way to the doorway separating the foyer from his living
space. The antidote certainly had taken
effect hours ago. Perhaps he sent her
away once he came to? Perhaps the dream
moss made her ill, and they were at the infirmary now?
She pushed the drapes to the
side and stepped through. The room was
still dark, the firepot giving off little light as its embers slowly burned
out. The smoke was gone, the ventilation
system having effectively pulled it from the room after she left. T'Rea's keen night vision adjusted
accordingly, and she was able to see quite clearly across the room. But she didn't need to, because right in the
center, couched on the pillows and both partially covered in his mediation robe,
was her former husband lying beside the Terran, his arms holding her tightly
against him while he curled his body around hers. The human muttered something unintelligible
and fidgeted in her sleep, causing Sarek to murmur reassuring nothings in her
ear, his arms tightening even more while he nuzzled his face against her
hair.
T'Rea turned and left,
determined to meditate this night, and put an end to one chapter of her life.
~~**~~
Sarek woke to the incessant
beeping of his comm unit signaling an incoming
message. He automatically reached out to
activate the receiver, only to find nothing beneath his hand but air. Opening his eyes, he was momentarily
surprised to find himself sprawled on his floor, but the memories of the past
night swiftly returned, and as his time sense kicked in he quickly rose to
answer the call, pulling his robe on.
"Sarek here," he
croaked, his voice dry. He cleared his
throat softly.
Soran hesitated upon seeing
Sarek's unkempt appearance.
"Forgive the intrusion, Sarek.
T'Rea informed me that you were unwell this day; however, we are
scheduled to meet with the Tellarite emissary in .58 hours, and he is unwilling
to delay the meeting."
Sarek nodded. "No matter. Tell him I will be there at the appointed
time."
Soran raised an eyebrow,
giving Sarek a thorough once over.
"Are you certain?"
Sarek's chin lifted
indignantly. "Do not be concerned,
old friend, I have ample time to prepare myself. I shall represent us appropriately."
"Of course," Soran
bowed politely, not entirely successful at keeping the doubt from his
visage. "If you require anything of
me, I shall be in the office."
Sarek nodded and cut the
connection. He turned, scanning the
disheveled room. Where was she? He listened, but could hear no sounds from within
his quarters. He checked the office, and
his bedroom, but to no avail. Finally,
he moved to his lavatory door, pressing his ear to the door to listen, but
couldn't detected the presence of anyone but him. "Amanda?" he asked, pressing the
button to slide the doors apart, and found them to be unlocked. And the bathroom was empty. "The dream moss," he murmured. Could that really have all been a
hallucination? It had seemed so
real. He could clearly recall her touch,
her smell…her taste. However, all
evidence indicated the Terran had not been in his rooms. With an subconscious sigh, Sarek entered his
washroom and turned on the shower. He
had a meeting to prepare for.
Sarek emerged from his
bedroom in a freshly laundered outfit.
With plenty of time before he was due to meet the Tellarite, he began
picking up his living room. He put the
firepot back on its pedestal, and began moving the pillows to their proper
places. He lifted the large ones, which
belonged in his bedroom, when he heard something fall to the floor. Looking, he noticed an embassy pass by his
feet on a broken chain. A numbness
spread over him as he slowly bent to retrieve the pass, already knowing what
he'd find on the other side. Sure enough, when he turned the plastic card over
there was the face of the embassy's Standard teacher, her smile looking bright
and innocent. He tucked the pass into
the pocket of his robe to drop at the front desk on his way to the
meeting. He needed to speak with the
Tellarite first, but afterwards, he needed to find his former wife. They had much to discuss.
~~**~~
"Come on, Stav. You know who I
am!" Amanda leaned both elbows on
the counter, resting her head between her hands. She had just returned after going home only
long enough to shower and change, and had a killer headache. Losing her embassy pass somewhere along the
way wasn't helping matters.
"I know who you appear
to be," Stav said calmly, tapping away at his
computer consol.
Amanda looked up, agape. "Are you kidding me?!"
"I do not kid," he
intoned, still tapping at his keyboard.
"It is not my intention to distress you, Ms. Grayson; however,
protocol must be observed."
"I have a class that
starts in one minute. You're making me
late! Can't you just call someone to
confirm it's me?"
Stav stopped typing to look at her, his hands folded
neatly in front of him. "I am not
the one who lost my pass."
Even though his expression
and tone didn't change much, Amanda had been around Vulcans long enough to know
when she was pissing one off. She took a
deep breath to regain her own control, bowed her head low to him. "I know, I apologize. I simply meant… Could we please do whatever
is necessary to get me into the embassy as quickly as possible?"
"Certainly," he
agreed, resuming his typing. "I
have already paged a member of security to come and verify your bio-scan, then
a new pass will be issued to you."
"Yeah, okay," she
murmured, checking her watch again and leaning on the counter for support. Suddenly the hairs on the back of her neck
stood on end and she straightened, looking at Stav,
who was also standing at attention. As
she stood there, frozen, an arm reached from behind her to place something near
her on the counter. Her embassy pass.
"I believe this will
expedite matters."
The deep voice echoed through
her, bringing chills up her spine as she recalled that same voice whispering
intimately into her ear last night. She
felt the blush crawl across her face, and damned her inability to do anything
about it. Still he stood right behind
her.
"See that Ms. Grayson
receives a new chain."
"Certainly,
Ambassador." Stav
bowed graciously, honored to receive one of the ambassador's rare visits to the
front reception area.
"Never mind, I'll take
care of it later." Amanda grabbed
the pass and quickly scooted away from the desk, never looking back. She didn't see the ambassador's concerned
expression, or the bewildered way Stav looked at them
both.
~~**~~
Almost five hours later,
Sarek nodded politely to the Tellarite's parting
remarks as he walked the man towards the conference room's door. With a promise that his aides would contact
them to finalize the agreement, Sarek stood in the doorway long enough for the
emissary's girth to disappear around the corner, then he turned to Soran.
"A satisfactory
outcome," Soran commented as he returned to the table to collect his PADDs.
"Indeed," Sarek
agreed curtly. "Is there anything more?"
Soran paused to look up at
his friend. Such a tone was unusual for
Sarek, but perhaps he was still unwell.
"There is always more," he teased gently, "but nothing
pressing."
Sarek nodded, missing the
glint in his friend's eyes. "In
that case, I have matters to attend to."
He left the room, a confused Soran watching him go.
~~**~~
Sarek stood in his office,
his fists clenched while he stared out the window at the street below,
waiting. He had summoned T'Rea and
Amanda an hour ago, and in exactly 24 seconds, they would be late. The intercom chimed, and his assistant
notified him of T'Rea's arrival. Sarek
bade her entrance, then he resumed his vigilance of the view below him. He heard T'Rea's steps as she entered the
room and immediately took one of the seats before his desk. He ignored her presence, for now, and she did
not disturb his thoughts. Allowing an
additional ten minutes for imprecise Terran punctuality, Sarek strode to his
desk to activate his comm unit. After getting no answer at Amanda's office,
Sarek tried the education department's receptionist.
The young Vulcan manning the
desk bowed respectfully upon seeing Sarek's face on his comm
unit. "Was Ms. Grayson not informed
that I required a meeting with her 10.68 minutes ago?" he asked bluntly.
"Of course, S'haile.
I informed her myself." His
tone rose slightly at the implication he might be neglectful of his duties.
Sarek glanced up at T'Rea,
who raised an inquisitive brow at the conversation, but remained silent. He looked back at the receptionist. "What is Ms. Grayson's present location?"
"Unknown,
Ambassador." He began earnestly
tapping at his consol. "Her
schedule is cleared for the remainder of the day…" he said as he continued
to access the system. His brow suddenly
rose in surprise. "Ms. Grayson
signed out of the embassy approximately 20.04 minutes ago." He glanced at Sarek, not missing the way the
muscle along his jaw line flexed repeatedly.
He quickly looked away.
"You will inform me
immediately upon her return," Sarek ordered, cutting the connection at the
younger man's nod. He again looked to
his ex-wife, who returned his stare.
"You shall cease
interfering in my matters," he said in Vulcan.
T'Rea recoiled. "Explain."
"Explain? Is it not obvious? You were there; you saw."
And she would never
forget. "I saw no interference,
Sarek. You requested my assistance."
"I requested that you
show me ways to overcome the Fires. I
also distinctly requested that you not speak to her of this again. You have done neither." He moved back to the window, putting his back
to her.
"I have done all you
asked of me--"
"What you have
done," Sarek turned back around, "is to place me in a precarious
position politically. What you have done
will cause pain to that woman, and will forever affect my relationship with a member
of this embassy's workforce. What you
have done," he stalked slowly in her direction, putting himself directly
over her, "is to make my situation much worse than it was before your
arrival."
T'Rea shrank back against her
chair. Sarek's tone and expression
remained completely passive to anyone who didn't know him well, but to her he
looked thunderous. She considered his
words, and frantically tried to recall what offense she had committed to
warrant this tirade. "I…do not
understand," she murmured.
Sarek could tell she was
truly baffled, but this only added to his own confusion. He shook his head in short, quick
motions. "Why did you bring her
there?"
"I--" T'Rea's eyes widened, and she straightened in
her seat indignantly. "I had no
part in her presence last night. Her arrival
was entirely unexpected, and I did attempt to make her leave. She refused when you called to her."
Now Sarek was off guard. He turned away again, taking only a few steps
before turning back. "I called
her…" he prompted.
"Indeed. The situation was under control until she
heard you call out to her. She
apparently thought you ill, or injured, and would not be refused admittance to
your rooms. Once there…you seemed most
reluctant to allow her to leave."
"What do you mean?"
he snapped, his gut tightening fearfully. He closed his eyes, trying to remember with
some clarity, but through the haze only one word echoed in the recesses of his
mind…' Kroy'kah!'
He needed to sit down. Collapsing heavily in his chair, Sarek
considered the evidence so far. The
broken chain…her avoidance of him…the command to stop… "Are you saying I kept her there by
force?" he croaked, his throat suddenly parched.
T'Rea looked down, where her
hands were clasped tightly together in her lap.
"T'Rea!" Sarek
commanded.
"No." She looked back at him, her gaze
wavering. "I do not believe
so." Her eyes narrowed
thoughtfully. "At first, perhaps…"
she shook her head resolutely, "but when I left, she seemed very much to
be an active participant."
Sarek released the breath he
hadn't known he held. He forced his
stomach to relax, repressing the emotions that threatened him. "Then it was all happenstance," he
murmured quietly.
T'Rea gave a brief nod. "Two unrelated events sharing temporal
time and space."
"Most unfortunate,"
he answered.
T'Rea shrugged slightly. "What's done is done. It is no doubt for the best, you would not
have survived your Time alone; last night was merely a simulation and yet you
were failing spectacularly. Now you have
the mate you want, and can be assured she is compatible." T'Rea slowly rose from the chair, unable to
keep her discomfort completely concealed.
"No," he stated
slowly, firmly. "It is as you said;
last night was nothing compared to the reality, and her behavior thus far leads
me to think she was not fond of the experience."
"She can not refuse you
now--"
"She can," he
stressed. "She is not Vulcan; you
err when you expect her to conform to our ways." He did not miss the way she limped through
her first few steps before her pace stabilized
"T'Rea."
She paused, looking back at
him.
"There is one thing I do
remember quite clearly from last night.
You told me you were dying.
Why?"
"It is the truth,"
she stated simply.
"When you first arrived,
and we sat in the gardens, you told me your condition was unchanged." He allowed the accusation to hover between
them.
She nodded. "My condition is the same, as is my
prognosis. Everything is proceeding
exactly as expected. The fact remains
that my time is quite limited."
"How limited?" he
asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
T'Rea could see the pain in
his eyes, and thought how closely it mirrored their son's. "Soon." She turned away, her hand just grasping the
doorknob when he called to her again.
"This is done," he said,
knowing she'd understand the reference to his single status. "No more, I beg of you."
She looked his way, not
bothering to hide her hurt. "What
will you do?"
"What I must," he
vowed, his lips pressing together determinedly, "for Sybok."
~~**~~
Amanda praised Sybok's latest
achievements in Standard, and together they began cleaning up after the
lesson. It had been two days since she
skipped out on Sarek's "meeting", and she was surprised to receive
nothing in the way of discipline as a result.
In fact, Sarek had made no attempt to contact her in any manner. Which was a good thing…wasn't it?
"I will be leaving
soon," Sybok said conversationally, returning the supplies to their
appropriate place.
"You will?" Amanda parroted. "I'm sorry to hear that. I've enjoyed our lessons together,
Sybok."
"Yeah," he agreed
in child-like fashion.
She smiled, her attention
distracted by the chime of her comm unit. "I'll be just a moment," she
explained to the boy as she answered the call.
"Dad!" She picked up
the hand receiver and turned her back to him so they could speak in private,
even though she realized he would still hear her side of the conversation. The call was casual, and throughout it, she
could still hear Sybok moving in the background, so she attempted to keep their
talk short. "I have a student right
now, but I'll call you back as soon as I'm through with work, okay?" She nodded as he made some reply unheard to
the rest of the room. "I love you
too. Bye-bye." She hung up the receiver. "Almost done?" she asked as she
turned to help the clean-up effort.
Sybok was already gone; however, his mother stood just inside the room,
her expression cold. "T'Rea,"
Amanda greeted carefully, her eyes traveling depreciatively over the other
woman's form.
"I sent Sybok
away," she said furtively. She knew
Sarek considered the matter closed, but she had to know, had to understand the
human's actions. How can one's behaviors
indicate one thing, but their words another?
She closed the office door behind her.
"I'm afraid I don't have
time to give you a lesson today," Amanda coolly informed her, leaning over
her desk to grab her PADD. She casually
opened up her appointment file.
"Tomorrow, perhaps…"
"Why do you do
this?" she demanded.
"What--"
"He made the ancient
claim; you permitted it. If there was
another, you should have said so. You
should have stayed away."
A chill traveled up Amanda's
spine. "I will not have this
discussion with you. If we have no
business to discuss, I'd like you to please leave."
T'Rea shook her head,
struggling to keep her emotions in check.
"Does he mean so little to you that you would risk his life this
way?"
Amanda laughed
derisively. "That's a tad dramatic,
don't you think?" She tossed her
PADD back on the desk.
"Now he must find
another."
"Well, if he's so damn
wonderful, why aren't you still married to him?" Amanda yelled, reaching
her boiling point.
T'Rea paused, taken aback by
the abrupt change in behavior. "He
wants you," she stated.
Amanda smiled
humorlessly. "Oh yeah? Then why were you with him?"
T'Rea cleared her
throat. "I can explain--"
"I don't want to hear
it. Now get out, or I'll call
security." They were at a stand-off
-- Amanda with her arms crossed, her foot tapping restlessly on the floor, and
T'Rea frozen in place, her face impassive as she stared at the human. Neither saw the face of the receptionist as
he peeked through the window in the office door, his keen Vulcan hearing
picking up Amanda's angry shouts from down the hall.
"Give me just a moment
of your time--"
"Forget it!" Amanda sprung into action, reaching to
activate the comm unit. She never heard T'Rea move, but suddenly the
Vulcan's hand was gripping her wrist, hard, and she spun the human to face her.
Both woman gasped aloud --
Amanda out of shock, and T'Rea from the intensity of the emotion emitting from
the human. Anger, shame, jealousy… and…
something else… affection? For
Sarek? No, it was more than
affection… She could feel it clearly
this time, no doubt due to the human's disturbed state. "You must listen to me!" T'Rea
insisted, her determination renewed. She
was surprised when Amanda suddenly wretched her hand out of her grasp.
Having seen enough, the
receptionist returned to his desk to call security himself.
~~**~~
Sarek sat at his desk, the
dossiers of five potential bondmates spread out before him. He stared at each one, rereading the
accompanying information under each picture before moving on to the next one. He'd been doing this for 2.4 hours now, and
was no closer to a decision. Each woman
seemed the same to him, each equally qualified, equally willing, and equally
unknown to him. He had no reason to
choose one over the other. He was
relieved when Soran entered the office.
Soran noticed the articles on
Sarek's desk. "I should give you
privacy--"
"No, old friend, please
stay. Privacy has done nothing for me
thus far."
Soran moved to stand beside
Sarek, taking a moment to review the dossiers himself. "An adequate selection," he
commented.
Sarek gave a non-committal
grunt, then suddenly his expression brightened.
"Which would you choose?" he asked, forcing his tone to sound
casual.
Soran looked sideways at his
friend. "No, I will not make this
decision for you." He moved around
to take one of the seats in front of the desk.
"Besides, I am already deep in negotiations for my son's future
bondmate. One is more than enough for me
to handle."
"Then you have
experience," Sarek wheedled.
"And this will be good
practice for when you search for Sybok's bondmate soon," Soran returned,
his brow lifting triumphantly. His
personal communicator – as Soran was never unreachable – chimed and he inserted
his ear piece to quietly take the call and allow Sarek more time to study the
women on his desk. For several minutes,
the exchange went unnoticed by the ambassador.
"Indeed?" Soran
said, his tone surprised enough to alert Sarek that something unexpected had
occurred. "No…" Soran looked up to catch Sarek's gaze while
he continued his conversation.
"Send them to the ambassador's office immediately." He closed the connection and removed the
earpiece.
"Is there something
amiss?" Sarek asked, curious.
"There has been an
altercation within the embassy."
"Indeed," Sarek
nodded sagely. Altercations were
uncommon within the embassy walls, but they did occur from time to time. It is expected, whenever non-Vulcans were
employed. "You are having them sent
here?"
"I…thought it was what
you would prefer." There was a soft
knock on the door, and Soran got up to answer it. He gestured for the unseen guests to some in.
Sarek gathered his dossiers
and turned them over so no one could see, then prepared himself to deal with
whatever illogical argument had caused the clash. His face dropped, uncontrolled, when it was
Amanda and T'Rea who paraded before him, their eyes lowered and demeanors
humble. "What is this?" he
demanded.
Soran moved to stand to the
side of the room, unseen and unheard as Sarek dealt with his charges.
"T'Rea?" Sarek
prompted when neither of the women spoke up.
Amanda glanced at them sharply, refusing to acknowledge the twinge of
resentment that fluttered in her gut that he'd seek her side first.
"We were having a
discussion," she explained.
Sarek didn't miss the way
T'Rea was unconsciously rubbing one of her hands, or the way Amanda held onto
her wrist, cradling it against her body.
He rose from his chair and moved around the desk to stand before them. "And that?" Sarek pointed to T'Rea's hands.
T'Rea had no response she
wished to give, so she lowered her eyes back to the floor. Amanda watched her, only now noticing she
favored the appendage. Could she have
hurt her as well? That's not
possible… Thinking back, Amanda began
recalling some comments Sybok had made during their time together regarding his
mother "resting" and being "uninterested" in participating
in the activities the others went on.
'Maybe she's ill,' thought Amanda, 'or perhaps it was some kind of
accident, and she's here to recuperate.'
She glanced at the woman
beside her, suddenly feeling petty at the less than generous feeling she'd been
having towards her. Kaiidth,' she told herself.
'What is, is; and none of us can control what we feel.' She laughed silently as she thought of the
Vulcan's reactions if she were to say that aloud, but it was true. They may have some control over how they
outwardly express those feelings, but they were just as powerless to stop them
as humans. She glanced at Sarek. "She's right," she spoke up. "We were just having a discussion. The secretary over-reacted."
Sarek clasped his hands
behind his back, studying the women before him.
It had obviously been more than a discussion, but now they were
collaborating to keep the truth hidden between them. Why?
Sarek's comm
unit chimed, and he was determined to ignore it until his own receptionist intercomed that the call was from Skon, his father. Skon was not one to be ignored. With a warning that they should both remain
silent, Sarek went back to his desk to take the call.
Sarek sat, taking a deep
breath to center himself, then he activated the unit. When his father's face appeared on the
screen, Sarek raised his hand in the Vulcan ta'al. "You honor our embassy, Ambassador Skon;
we come to serve."
Skon quickly returned the
greeting. "You service honors me;
however, this is a personal call, my son."
Sarek bowed
respectfully. "Indeed? What matter compelled you to call,
Father?"
Skon looked at his son
dubiously, his expression was light, however, telling Sarek it was not a
serious matter. "I call to offer
you congratulations on your upcoming bonding."
"My…" Sarek trailed off, glancing at the pile of
dossiers in front of him.
"I will admit to some
regret that I was to hear this through Shanok rather
than directly from you."
There was a small noise from
T'Rea at the mention of her father's name, and Sarek groaned inwardly. "Might I have a moment,
Father?" At Skon's puzzled nod,
Sarek put his father on hold and pinned his glare at his ex-wife. "What have you done?"
"I informed my family
that my business here was complete and I would be returning soon, that is
all." She resisted the urge to
squirm under his intense gaze. "You
had just spent the night with her; it was a logical assumption a bonding was
imminent."
Soran snapped to attention at
this revelation; he keenly watched his friend.
Amanda moaned
desolately. "Great, now everyone
knows."
Soran's head swung towards
Amanda. Sarek and Amanda! He had suspected there was an interest there,
but he never thought Sarek would act upon such an urge. Is it possible? Could a Terran and Vulcan form a lasting
bond? And if so, why was Sarek still
searching? Soran's eyes snapped back and
forth between the two, waiting for the next reaction.
"Not everyone,"
T'Rea retorted.
"Why anyone?"
Amanda shot back, embarrassment flooding her face and tempering her words. "What is this obsession you have with
Sarek's sex life?" Every pointed
brow in the room soared. Vulcans do not
consider themselves as actually having a 'sex life'. "This cannot be normal." Amanda turned away from T'Rea, crossing her
arms over herself and pacing the floor restlessly.
There was silence as everyone
considered the situation. Soran stepped
forward. "Sarek."
Sarek didn't hear. "This is what I was warning you
about," he lectured.
"This occurred before
our discussion," T'Rea replied.
"Sarek," Soran
called out louder. Finally, he had
Sarek's attention, and his friend looked at him impatiently. "Your father has been waiting for quite
some time. I suggest you either choose a
female immediately, or notify him there has been a…misunderstanding. The rest can be examined later."
"Well he can't just pick
some woman on the spur of the moment," Amanda insisted, her pacing stopped
as she addressed Soran. She turned to
Sarek, "Just tell him it was a mistake."
"He must choose
someone," T'Rea insisted behind her.
Amanda spun around. "Why?" She threw her hands up exasperatedly. "Why must
he choose someone? Why now; what's the
sudden rush?" She looked at each
Vulcan, in turn, but no one would meet her gaze.
Again, requesting silence,
Sarek turned back to the comm unit. He took a deep breath and activated the screen. Skon's face stared back at him, his
expression much darker than it was before.
"I see that you are
preoccupied at the moment, Sarek'kam, so if you will
simply inform me of your choice, I can contact her family and begin
negotiations."
"I ask forgiveness, S'haile; no disrespect was
intended. Regarding my
choice…" Sarek hesitated, his gaze
involuntarily seeking Amanda's. She
watched him, her eyes widening in panic the longer he waited. She shook her head minutely. "There has been some mistake,"
Sarek said, forcing his gaze back to Skon, "I have not yet selected a
mate."
"Explain," Skon
demanded.
'Yes, of course he'd want an
explanation,' Sarek nodded slowly, 'but what am I to say?' "Well," Sarek cleared his throat
softly. "I have considered each of
the candidates at great length," he assured him, "however, I have not
yet determined the most logical choice for wife."
Skon stared unblinkingly into
his eldest son. "And yet T'Rea
speaks to her family of a woman you chose."
"T'Rea erred,"
Sarek blurted out, darting a glance in her direction to forbid her from
contradicting him. He saw the doubt in
Skon's eyes, and Sarek had a hard time meeting them. "I mean to say, there was a woman I had
considered, but I have not yet decided.
T'Rea must have misunderstood my intentions."
"I see," Skon
relented, although Sarek could tell he did not accept his explanation. "You will decide soon?" It was more a demand than a request.
"Yes," Sarek
assured him, earning an approving nod from his father.
"Then I shall expect a
communiqué, from you, when you have reached your decision." He leaned a little closer to the comm. unit,
his face filling the screen even more.
"Your final decision."
"Yes, sa'makh,"
Sarek bowed, keeping his eyes lowered until Skon closed the connection. Once free, he turned his gaze back to the
women who, in only a few days, had wreaked so much havoc in his normally
ordered life. He stood, taking a moment
to adjust the closure of his robes, then walked over to the women. "This…discussion you were having, would
you care to continue it here, where you will remain undisturbed
from…overreacting receptionists?"
T'Rea pressed her lips
together, shaking her head gently.
Amanda sighed, "We were done."
Sarek nodded knowingly, then
looked meaningfully from his former wife to his friend. They stirred, both heading to the door, which
Sarek had already opened for them.
Amanda, following the others' example, also moved towards the door, but
before she could exit Sarek pushed it shut." A moment of your time, please."
Giving the door one last,
longing look, Amanda nodded and turned back, putting several paces between her
and the ambassador.
Sarek moved to the counter
along the wall, grabbing a flask and holding it out invitingly, "Savas'masu?"
Amanda shook her head to
refuse the fruit juice.
"I also have tea, or
water." She again shook her head
no. "I have scotch hidden away,
that I can get if required."
This elicited a smile from the
teacher, the reaction Sarek had hoped to achieve. "No, thank you. I'm fine."
Sarek nodded, putting the
flask back without pouring any for himself.
He walked towards Amanda, stopping to sit on the edge of his desk,
maintaining the least intimidating posture he could muster. "I…am in a precarious predicament."
Amanda nodded. "Yes, that's what I understand."
"No," Sarek said
softly. "I do not believe you
do."
Amanda cleared her
throat. "Well, I understand that
you are under pressure to marry, and that it was assumed that I
was…volunteering for the position."
She crossed her arms protectively over her chest, "because of the
other night."
Sarek stirred, clasping his
own hands at his waist. "Regarding
that," he shrugged apologetically, "I am sorry."
"No, I…" she sighed, biting her lip nervously, "I
shouldn't have come there, uninvited, and that late."
"Hmm," he mumbled
dubiously, not agreeing with her assessment, but unwilling to argue the point.
"Did you?" she
asked suddenly, catching Sarek unaware.
He raised a questioning brow.
"Assume I was…you know, going to marry you."
"No," he quickly
assured her. "I am too familiar
with human customs to assume such a thing, but T'Rea…"
"Right, of course;
that's understandable." They each looked away, taking interest in the
artifacts scattered around the ambassador's office. "Then you weren't making any…um…'ancient
claims' or anything, right?" She
glanced surreptitiously in his direction.
"Where did you hear
that?" Sarek brusquely demanded.
"T'Rea…"
Sarek got up and moved behind
his desk, stalling for time as he gathered his dossiers and shoved them into a
drawer. He sat heavily in his
chair. "If possible, I would prefer
this did not affect our…association in any way."
Amanda noticed he didn't
actually answer her question, but dismissed the thought, sighing with
relief. "I agree. I don't see why we can't forget about
it."
Sarek nodded, satisfied. "So, we will maintain our routine and
meet tonight in your residence."
"Actually…" Amanda
hesitated, "maybe we shouldn't make a habit of meeting privately,
anymore."
Sarek watched her silently
for several minutes. She refused to meet
his gaze. "Then, in fact, you do
not believe you can 'forget about it'?"
Amanda took a deep breath,
then looked up. "I just think our
'association' has led to some… discomforting… confusions, and we'd do better to
only meet at the embassy. In public
areas," she added quickly. Again,
he stared at her, his gaze so intense, so penetrating, that she could not
maintain the eye contact. She felt her
face flush and, unable to take it any longer, mumbled some inane excuse and
left Sarek's office.
~~**~~
Sarek and Sybok entered the
suite, after having just spent the afternoon together at the exhibit on Earth's
ancient desert cultures. Sybok carried a
bag full of discs ranging in subjects, that Sarek had purchased for him at the
museum's gift shop. They were leaving
tomorrow, and since T'Rea's confession regarding her condition, Sarek had
attempted to spend as much time as possible with the boy. Both were surprised to find Soran and T'Rea
already in Sarek's room, sitting together at his desk.
Sybok shrugged off his cloak
– dropping it to the floor – and ran to his mother. He ignored his father's slight reproach; his
excitement was barely contained.
"Look, ko'mekh."
He opened the bag so she could peek inside.
"How generous,"
T'Rea commented to him and Sarek at once.
"You will be occupied for quite some time, I think."
Sybok nodded then moved over
to share his treasure with Soran.
Sarek slowly removed his own
cloak, hanging it carefully on the rack, then picked up Sybok's as well. "What is this?" he asked, moving
closer to see what project had occupied his friends during his absence. His mouth tightened upon seeing the profiles
of his prospective mates spread out before them.
"We have been discussing
your situation," Soran explained.
"I was unaware this had
become an issue for public debate," Sarek quipped.
"It is not; however, you
did ask me whom I would choose," he reminded him.
Sarek bowed in defeat. "Have the two of you reached a consensus
then?"
"Yes," T'Rea
supplied, pushing Sybok gently away. The
boy, already well into his first new disc, absently walked to the nearby couch,
completely disinterested in the adults' conversation.
"Possibly," Soran
corrected her, looking side-long at the woman.
Sarek look from one to the
other, his interest growing. "And
who did you select?"
T'Rea and Soran shared a
look, then Soran bowed to her slightly, sitting back to put the situation in
her control. T'Rea accepted the charge
then straightened in her chair, looking at Sarek commandingly. "We choose Amanda."
Sarek stared at T'Rea, half
expecting she'd adopted the Terran custom of pulling a 'practical joke', but
she appeared quite serious. He looked at
Soran – reliable, logical Soran – to oppose this suggestion, but his friend
merely shrugged, yielding to T'Rea's decision.
Traitor. "Amanda is not
among the list of candidates," he reminded them, pulling a chair closer
and having a seat before them.
"That, apparently, was
not an issue the other night," Soran tossed back, refusing to be
intimidated by the disapproving glare he received in return.
"She is the logical
choice, Sarek. You cannot deny
that."
"I can," Sarek
insisted.
"You will bond with T'Kahr
Amanda?" Sybok's voice floated to the adults, drawing their attention to
where he sat, still reading his PADD, on the couch.
"No--"
"Yes--"
His parents answered in unison, causing the boy to
glance at them briefly, before shrugging his shoulders helplessly and returning
to his work. Sometimes it's better not
to ask.
"Would you approve of
Ms. Grayson, Sybok?" The boy nodded
wordlessly, and T'Rea looked back at his father, raising a haughty brow. "There, everyone is agreed."
"She smells nice,"
the small voice admitted distractedly, causing all three adults to look at him
in surprise.
"Not everyone,"
Sarek slowly corrected her, pulling his attention away from the boy. "I have not agreed, and Amanda most
certainly has not."
"Hmm, yes; we have found
a solution for that." She looked to
Soran for support, and he gave her an endorsing, albeit not enthusiastic,
nod. "I have been researching
Terran mating rituals, and I have discovered – Soran has verified this,"
she added for authenticity, "that it is a custom on Earth for a woman who
is terminally ill to seek an alternate wife and mother for her family."
"It is not," Sarek
firmly declared.
"Actually, there is
precedent," Soran corrected him.
"Mainly found documented in Terran literature and filmography, but it is there."
Sarek considered this, then
shook his head. "That is
fiction. If this were true, why were we
unaware of it?"
"Why are humans unaware
of pon farr?" T'Rea bluntly
asked, glaring impatiently at the hiss of disapproval she received from the
men. "My point is," she
stressed, "if we can keep secrets, why can they not as well?"
There was silence that followed,
broken only by the occasional beeps emitting from Sybok's PADD as he navigated
his program. Sarek glanced awkwardly
towards his son. "Perhaps Sybok should take his
activities elsewhere," he suggested.
T'Rea stared at him
blankly. "Our son is aware of the
basics of Vulcan biology, Sarek."
He stared back, unmoving.
"Very well," she relented, then asked Sybok to allow the
adults some privacy, which he did without question.
Releasing a deep sigh, Sarek
stirred uneasily in his seat. "It
is irrelevant at any rate. That is not
precisely the situation here."
"It is very
similar," T'Rea insisted, a flush of excitement coursing through her as
she realized Sarek was reconsidering his position. "I will contact her, inform her of my
condition and propose the agreement. I
do not believe she will refuse."
Sarek shook his head. "I do not believe that would be a
deciding factor for her."
When T'Rea would have argued,
Soran interceded. "I think,
perhaps, what Sarek means to say," Soran watched his friend carefully,
both amused and somewhat alarmed by the effect the human seemed to be having on
Sarek, "is that he would not accept Amanda under that
condition."
Sarek met his gaze,
briefly. "It is irrelevant in any
case," he murmured. "I could
not take Amanda, or any human, as a wife."
"Why?" T'Rea
demanded, puzzled by his obstinacy.
"Because," Sarek
hesitated, forming his reply carefully, "Human physiology would make her
as unsuitable a mate as you are…for the same reasons."
Soran shifted uncomfortably
in his chair as the conversation became more and more private.
"I disagree," T'Rea
said softly, swallowing around the lump that had formed in her throat.
"Humans are not as
strong as Vulcans," Sarek explained.
"If you, a Vulcan female, can be injured during…the Time, she would
surely be as well."
T'Rea cleared her
throat. "I could not climb a
mountain, but humans do it all the time.
I do not think we compare."
"I agree," Soran
quietly chimed in.
"Besides, you
already…explored that venue with her, and she faired well."
"It is not the
same," Sarek maintained.
"It did not seem so
different to me," she rejoined.
They stared off, silence
enveloping the room once again. Soran watched
on, ignorant of what they were discussing, his heritage making the idea of
asking non-existent. "Perhaps a
different approach is in order?" he suggested. "We are seeking logical reasons for her
to accept Sarek, but I believe as a human, Amanda would have emotional motives
when choosing her mate."
"Love," Sarek
sagely concurred.
Soran nodded. "Do we know where she stands on the
issue?"
"Yes," T'Rea
declared. "She feels love for
Sarek." The memory of Amanda's
phone conversation, and her declaration to the unknown individual at the other
end of the receiver, played through her mind, but she ignored it. Her words were true, Amanda did feel love for
Sarek. What this means in conjunction
with the other was irrelevant at the moment.
"How do you know
this?" Soran asked.
"I...our minds brushed,
accidentally, when we touched earlier today."
A look passed between the two
men, but neither said anything.
"Then it is
decided. We have established that her
emotional requirements are met, and we now have a logical incentive for her to
act upon them." T'Rea pushed her
chair back, prepared to take her leave.
"I shall contact her immediately and notify you of her response."
"Patience, T'Rea,"
Soran stopped her. "We have not
considered all the factors a human requires in a mate" He watched the puzzled expression cross both
their faces. "I believe a human not
only expects to feel love for her mate; but to be loved by her mate as
well."
Sarek sighed desolately, and
T'Rea sat back down. "How do we do
that?" she asked.
Soran gave Sarek a pointed
look. "Do you feel love for Ms.
Grayson?"
Sarek's brow furrowed in
consideration, then finally he shrugged.
"How would I know?"
To this, Soran had no reply,
and silence again descended over the trio as they considered the
situation. "T'Rea," Soran
suddenly spoke up, inspired. "You
said your mind touched hers, and you could sense her love for Sarek?" T'Rea nodded.
"What did it feel like?"
T'Rea closed her eyes,
concentrating on the memories of that moment.
"I sensed a great craving for physical touch, but not like our
burning. It did not seem so much lustful
as a simple desire for…connection."
"Humans do not
bond," Soran supplied as an explanation.
"I believe touch is also
one of the main senses involved in human learning as well," Sarek said
dismissively. "Perhaps she only has
a curiosity, and wishes to learn more.
She has expressed a…dissatisfaction in the quantity of information I had
revealed of myself to her."
"I also sensed great
affection in her, but there was something more as well. I…" she struggled to explain better,
"it is reminiscent of the encompassing bond between a parent and child,
but it was different than that."
She opened her eyes, giving Sarek an apologetic look. "I cannot explain it further; there is
no frame of reference I am familiar with."
"Perhaps affection for
humans is different than for Vulcans," Sarek suggested, clamping down on
the exultation her words were causing.
"I do not believe we should make assumptions in this matter."
T'Rea frowned in his
direction. "As you wish," she
allowed, "but the only way to know for certain is to ask her."
"I concur," Soran
said. "In my opinion, there is
enough evidence at this point to open communications regarding a potential
union – if she is your choice."
"And if we are
incorrect?" Sarek postulated.
Soran gave a slight
shrug. "Then we apologize --
profusely. I do not think Ms. Grayson
would hold it against us."
Sarek steepled
his hands before him, concentrating on their shape as he considered the
alternatives. "If I decide to
pursue this," he looked up at T'Rea.
"Then I will be the one to contact her."
T'Rea bowed her
submission. "If?" she inquired
gently.
Sarek nodded. "I must consider this carefully; there
is no way for you to know what you sensed in Amanda was love."
Soran reached out to gently
touch T'Rea's arm, getting her attention.
A silent exchange between them led T'Rea to excuse herself and leave the
men alone. Before she left, she turned
to give the men a final thought to ponder.
"It is true that I do not know of human love," she admitted,
getting their full attention, "but Amanda does, and 'love' is her word –
it is what her mind labels the emotion that resonates within her, for
you."
Sarek looked away, her words
striking a cord within him. "There
is still risk," he murmured, as much to remind himself as the others. T'Rea bowed in acquiescence, leaving the men
to their privacy.
"There is
always a risk," Soran gently pointed out when he was assured of their
privacy. "That is why we do not
choose our mates lightly, why we, as adults and parents, choose our children's
mates for them, and why we ourselves seek the advice of our elders when
choosing."
"Then should I not also
take my elders advice, and choose from the selection they approved for
me?"
Soran tilted his head,
considering. "The elders do not
know of Amanda, or your affection for her.
How can you be sure they would not approve if you told them."
"I do not wish to tell
them," Sarek said sheepishly.
Soran permitted a slight
smile to flutter across his lips.
"I do not blame you.
However, if I were in your position, and expected to choose my own mate,
I would prefer to take that risk with a friend than with a stranger."
Sarek nodded, releasing a
sigh. "I will have to tell her,
explain…the Time. She must be aware of
the risks involved before choosing."
Soran nodded silently. "How
do I explain it, to one who does not know, who has no concept? And what if she refuses, after learning of
our shame, and it becomes known among the humans?"
Soran frowned at his
friend. "To your first query, you
explain it factually. As to the second…I
do not believe you would even consider Ms. Grayson for a mate if you believed
her to be of the character to reveal something so personal about our
people."
"This has never been
done," Sarek pointed out.
"No," Soran agreed,
"but then, setting precedence is hardly foreign to you." There was a twinkle in his eyes as Soran
stood, walking around the desk to stand behind Sarek's chair. He laid his hand upon Sarek's shoulder,
allowing those thoughts of support and affection that could not be spoken of to
come through. "It is a difficult
position, to be sure, k'war'ma'khon."
Sarek nodded, briefly
reaching up to touch Soran's hand with his own – in reciprocation of the
gesture – before they broke the contact and Soran left his friend alone to
decide his future.
~~**~~
Sarek turned off
'No matter,' he thought,
pushing those ideas aside as unproductive.
Traffic began moving again, and he slowly permitted the vehicle to move
forward when a traffic controller stepped in front of his vehicle to again allow
pedestrians to cross. Sarek stared dully
at the officer, who continued to hold his hand palm out towards Sarek – 'Was
the officer concerned that he would run these people over if he put his hand
down? Illogical?' – when something in his peripheral vision caught his
attention. He looked, briefly, and
caught a glimpse of a brunette woman, hair drawn up except for several tendrils
framing her face, and blocking his view of her as she turned her head away to
speak with a woman next to her. They
walked towards him, but on the opposite side of the road, heading towards the
entrance to the event. His gaze took in
her baggy sweater and short skirt and he turned away, dismissing the woman from
his mind. The pedestrians had cleared
the road, and with a wave of his hand the controller permitted Sarek to
continue. He eased forward again, and
was about to pass the women when something compelled him to take a closer
look. There was something familiar
there…
A sudden wind tossed her hair
aside, giving Sarek his first good look at the woman's face. Amanda!
Sarek frantically looked ahead, but there wasn't a single space in which
he could pull off. He glanced back
towards the event's entrance, calculating how much time he'd have to find a
space and catch up with Amanda. If she
entered the festivities before he caught her, there was very little possibility
he'd find her in the crowd. Seeing no
alternative, Sarek pulled to the right as far as possible, which wasn't much
with cars parked along both sides of the street, and opened the passenger side
window to call to her. It took several
tries, but finally she looked around and spotted him. To say she seemed surprised would be a gross
understatement. She took a few steps
nearer, her friend following.
"What are you doing here?"
she hissed at him.
"I must speak with you;
get in." He pushed a button on the
console, which caused the passenger door to recede into the roof of the
car. Several horns from the cars behind
him sounded, but Sarek ignored them.
"I am busy now. I'll see you at the embassy on
Monday." She started to step away,
but he called her back.
"I would prefer to discuss this now." He glanced at her friend,
"Privately." Now angry shouts
could be heard from behind him. When he
glanced in his rear view mirror, he could see the traffic officer heading
towards them to investigate the trouble.
"You are blocking traffic," he accused her, smiling inwardly
at the look of indignation that crossed her face. He reached over to grab the hand she was
leaning on against the door jamb, refusing to let go when she would have pulled
away. "Get in. Please."
She attempted to pull away, a
protest ready to spill from her lips.
"I will explain
everything," he promised solemnly.
Sighing impatiently, Amanda
nodded her consent then turned to her friend.
"I'll meet you inside."
"Is that the one from
the other night?" Sarek heard the other ask her.
"Shh!" Amanda glanced back at the car, and Sarek
raised his brow at her. Her face flushed
as she turned back. "I won't be long;
give me your parking pass."
The other woman shrugged,
then dug through her purse to hand Amanda a piece of rectangular plastic. Amanda jumped into the car. "Get going before you get a
ticket."
Sarek wasted no time,
pressing the accelerator and gliding smoothly away just as the traffic officer
approached the rear of the car.
"Turn right at the end
of this road; we'll park in the Public Health Department's lot."
Sarek stopped at the intersection,
waiting to make his turn when another flitter pulled up on his left. The other flitter honked, and when Sarek and
Amanda glanced over the man forcefully thrust his hand in their direction,
middle finger extended. Sarek calmly
looked back at Amanda. "What does
this signify?"
"Just ignore it,"
Amanda said, sliding her arm behind Sarek's headrest to extend a middle finger
of her own. Unintelligible shouts came
from the neighboring flitter as the light changed and Sarek made his turn. Sarek turned into the health department's lot
and, using the pass Amanda's friend provided, gained access through the
automatic security gates.
Sarek found a spot to park
and turned the engine off. For a long
moment, they both sat there, staring straight ahead at nothing in
particular. "You left rather
abruptly yesterday," Sarek commented without changing his position.
Amanda sucked air in through
clenched teeth. "Yes, well,"
she turned away to look out her side window, "there didn't seem to be
anything more to say."
"I was attempting to
postulate an appropriate response," he explained.
Amanda smiled, looking his
way. "Don't tell me I caught the
'silver tongued devil' speechless?" she said, referring to the nickname
some of the political rags had adopted for him.
Sarek sighed, looking at her
wearily. Her smile faded as Sarek's gaze
slowly roamed down her frame. Goosebumps
erupted along her arms, and she struggled against the shiver that ran along her
spine. How can a simple look have such a
physical effect? She tugged at the edge
of her skirt, making it cover her as much as possible. "You offered some explanations,"
she reminded him, changing the subject.
He nodded. "What would you like to know?"
"What am I allowed to
ask?" she countered, doing her best to keep any bitterness from coloring
her tone.
She noticed the muscle in his
jaw flex and knew he had heard it.
"You may ask me anything you wish," he calmly replied,
"and I will answer as best I can."
"Anything,
huh?" Amanda took a deep breath,
looking aimlessly out the windshield as she made her decision. "Okay," She looked back at Sarek,
carefully watching his expression for any reaction to her questions. "Why the sudden rush to find a
mate? You don't seem particularly keen
about the idea, but everyone else seems adamant you must have one now."
Sarek blinked, several times,
the reflex his only reaction so far.
'What happened to the Terran custom of small talk?' he wondered.
"You said I could ask
anything," Amanda defensively reminded him.
"I did," he
admitted. "Very well. It is custom on Vulcan for everyone to have a
mate. To not be bonded is very rare,
particularly for the men." He
glanced at her surreptitiously, wondering if his answer would be sufficient.
"Why is that?" she asked,
genuine curiosity etched her features.
Her curiosity matched that of any Vulcan, and her appeal for Vulcan
culture struck at something within Sarek. Few Terrans seemed willing to see
beyond the exterior to bother learning what lay in the Vulcan mind, or heart.
'To your first query, you
explain it factually,' Soran's words echoed through Sarek's mind. This was a perfect opening with which to
broach the subject, to explain the Vulcan mating cycle. Sarek forced his suddenly racing heart back
to a normal pace. "The reason
is," the air suddenly left Sarek's lungs and he struggled to breathe, let
alone speak, "…considered very private for my people."
Amanda's face closed with
disappointment. "So you can't tell
me," she finished for him.
Finally, he could take a
breath unfettered. A silent struggle
raged within Sarek. "I am
unprepared at this time," he said, ignoring the shout of 'coward' that
resonated within him, in Soran's voice.
"Do you have other questions?" he asked, hoping to make
amends.
"Are you sure you don't
mind?" she asked, a single nod from Sarek indicating she should
continue. Amanda chewed her bottom lip
for just a second. "All right, you
just said that you are expected to have a mate, but you and T'Rea – despite
being obviously very close – are no longer married. Why?"
Sarek took a deep
breath. "Shortly after our marriage
it was discovered that T'Rea was ill; a genetic disorder that is causing her
body to degenerate, eventually to the point of fatality."
"She's terminal,"
Amanda whispered hoarsely. 'My god,
you've been jealous over the husband of a dying woman,' she thought, shamed at
the thoughts she'd had for T'Rea over the past few days. "But…I don't understand. You discover your wife is dying, so you
divorced her?" Her voice rose in indignation, which she did nothing to
conceal.
"The divorce was not of
my choosing," Sarek defended himself, "nor T'Rea's. It was…" He paused. "Circumstances being what they are, it
was deemed in the best interest for everyone."
"How could it possibly
be in the best interest to abandon a dying woman?"
"I did not abandon
her," Sarek forced through clenched teeth.
He turned away, his controls shakier than they had been in a long time.
"I'm sorry," she
gently apologized. "Of course you didn't;
you wouldn't do that." She could tell she had upset him, this was the
first she'd ever seen him visibly affected before. Her heart sank to her stomach. "So you still love each
other." It wasn't a question.
Sarek glanced at her briefly,
then looked away, his head tilting in a shrug.
"Vulcans do not speak in terms of love."
"But if she hadn't
become ill, you would still be married?" Amanda reiterated.
"Yes," Sarek stated
matter-of-factly.
"Right," she
sighed, leaning back against the headrest and closing her eyes to ease the
dizzying sensation as the figurative bottom dropped from beneath her.
"Your next
question?" he offered.
Amanda shook her head. "I think we've covered enough. Thank you though, I know that wasn't easy for
you." She opened her eyes to see
him briefly nod, then she sat up and pressed the door release.
Sarek stopped her with the
barest touch of his fingers upon her shoulder.
"I have answered your questions, now you must answer mine," he
said. She looked back at him
questioningly. "It seems fair, does
it not?"
Reluctantly, she nodded, her
bottom lip again disappearing between her teeth to be chewed worriedly. Sarek pressed the control to close her door,
watching the way her teeth grazed the soft pink flesh. A sudden image of his own teeth working her
lips came to him, then other – more intimate – images filled his mind.
"I wish you wouldn't
look at me like that."
Sarek forced his eyes back
up. "Like what?"
Amanda shrugged. "I don't know…like you're going to eat
me, or something."
Sarek frantically cleared his
mind, wondering if he had broadcasted so much she had picked up his train of
thought. "Forgive me," he
murmured.
Amanda shrugged again. "What did you want to ask me?" She avoided his gaze, desperately wanting to
get this over with as soon as possible.
"I seek to understand
your actions as of late," Sarek explained.
"To begin with, why have you been avoiding me since…that night in
my rooms."
Amanda closed her eyes
against the inevitable. "Can't we
let this go?"
"I answered your
questions," he reminded her.
"I don't know,
okay?" She threw her hands up
helplessly.
Sarek watched her growing
distress. "Did I hurt you?" he
asked, hoping to assist her in pinpointing the cause.
"No," she quickly
reassured him, "no; nothing like that."
Sarek nodded, relieved. "Then, is it embarrassment?"
Amanda hesitated,
thinking. "No, I don't think
so. I mean, getting high and sleeping
with my boss isn't exactly my proudest moment," she didn't notice his
flinch, "but it's not something I can't get over."
"Then…" he prompted
her.
"I guess…" She shrugged, squirming uncomfortably in her
seat. "I guess I discovered a
completely different side to you, and it's not something I expected."
Sarek thought hard about
this. "Such as," he prompted
her again.
Amanda nervously twisted a
ring around her finger. "Such as…I
never expected you ran some opium den in your suite when off duty."
Sarek's eyes widened,
recognizing the reference. "I do
not," he denied.
"Okay, maybe not opium,
but whatever that stuff was."
"It was called Dream
Moss, and I have never attempted its usage before."
Amanda looked at him,
studying his face. "Then why did
you do it that night?"
"Because
T'Rea…" He stopped himself from
revealing too much. "It was for
medicinal purposes." He watched her
doubtful expression. "I have no
intention of repeating the experience," he affirmed.
"Okay," she said,
believing him. "I'm sorry."
Sarek bowed from the
shoulders, accepting her apology.
"The cause was sufficient."
She nodded, taking a deep,
cleaning breath and releasing it all at once.
"Good. Let's take the rest
of this weekend to put some space between us, regain some perspective, and
we'll start again on Monday, hmm?"
She pressed the door release and quickly stepped out.
"Wait," Sarek
called to her, leaning across the passenger seat to look up at her face. "There is more I wish to discuss."
"Sarek," she turned
towards him impatiently, "what more is there to say? We've discussed it, we've both apologized;
let's drop it. Sybok and T'Rea leave
tomorrow, go home and spend time with your family," she ordered. "My friend is waiting for me." And with that, she spun on her heel and
strode off across the lot towards the fair grounds.
Sarek sighed, straightening
in his seat and closing the passenger door once again. He reached out to start the flitter, and was
about to put it in gear when a flash of anger surged through him uninhibited. "I was not through speaking," he
said to the emptiness around him. He
turned the engine off, and got out of the vehicle, following the same path
Amanda took.
~~**~~
Amanda was quick, he'd give
her that, but still she was just going through the gates when Sarek took his
place fourth in line. Fortunately, it
went quickly and Sarek reached into the inner pocket of his tunic to pull out
his credit chip. Never taking his eyes
off the path Amanda took, he absently slid the card across the counter.
"It's thirty
credits," a young, freckle-faced adolescent informed him, "and the
rides credits are extra."
Sarek gave a brief nod, not
altering his focus. After what seemed
too long a pause, Sarek looked over to check the boy's progress.
"We don't give
refunds," the boy squeaked, staring wide-eyed at the alien. He'd seen Vulcans before, most people in this
town have at one time or another, but this was his first time interacting with
one.
"That is
acceptable," Sarek spoke slowly and clearly, pushing his credit chip
closer to the boy. Finally, the boy took
it and began processing the transaction.
Sarek resumed his vigil for Amanda, but had lost sight of her by this
time.
"Uh…how many ride
credits do ya want?"
Sarek had no intention of
going on 'rides', nor would he have a clue how many he would need if he chose
to do so. "None," Sarek told
him, again searching the crowd.
"Oh. Are ya sure? 'Cause if there's a chance you'll want a
ride, it's better to get them now. Once
you're inside the credit lines are really long," he leaned forward conspiringly,
"and the prices are higher," he whispered.
Sarek glanced at the boy
impatiently. "Very well, then
provide me with however many credits you deem sufficient."
"Okay," the boy
chirped, turning back to the task.
"Hand, please."
Sarek stared at him
blankly. "Pardon me?"
"I need to stamp your
hand," the boy explained.
"That way, if you leave you can get back in today and not have to
pay again."
Sarek considered refusing, but
concluded the resulting argument in budgeting would be more painful than the
discomfort of the brief contact he'd have to endure in getting stamped. He slid his hand across the counter.
The boy grabbed his wrist,
then with careful precision, applied a neon orange smiley with the word
Saturday printed beneath it to the back of Sarek's hand. "You're all set! Here's your credit chip, and this card has
your ride credits." He slid the
cards towards Sarek, who quickly scooped them up. "Have a good time…" His voice trailed off as the Vulcan strode
away, not listening. The boy stared
after him. 'Wait 'til I tell Janey,' he thought excitedly of the reaction his girlfriend
would have. 'I touched a Vulcan!'
Sarek had only walked a few
yards past the gate when he came to a sudden stop. The lights and noise from the street was
nothing compared to what he experienced up close. The noise was virtually deafening, and the
flashing lights from the rides and booths caused a kaleidoscope of color to
blanket everywhere he looked. Overhead
and from the side, rides whipped and whirled past him, and the stench of
various foods was assaulting – fried flesh and onions and peppers mixed with
the sickly sweet smells of cotton candy, fried dough and caramel apples. And everywhere – everywhere – humans milled
about bumping and brushing against each other in their haste to get to the next
attraction. Seeing no clear path in
which to move about, Sarek considered leaving.
Perhaps he could wait outside until she came out; there was only one
exit after all…wasn't there?
Someone bumped into him from
behind and Sarek quickly stepped aside as a young father brushed past, uttering
a rushed apology while he lifted a child up to sit upon his shoulders. Another, slightly older, child walked beside
him speaking excitedly of his plans for the night. Sarek watched their progress through the
crowds until they left his line of sight, then another – more pleasing – sight
came into focus.
Amanda! She was way across the field, standing in
line leading to a large rotating wheel.
Giving the crowds no further thought, Sarek began working his way
towards her, determined to reach her before she boarded the ride. Sarek had to maintain his shields as tightly
as possible to prevent the barrage of thoughts and emotions from all those who
inadvertently touched him from closing in on him. As he moved across the grounds, he passed one
of the ticket booths the boy at the gates had mentioned and, as stated, the
lines for obtaining ride credits were excessively long. He reached Amanda when she was still sixth in
line from boarding; her female friend was not in sight.
"I had not finished
speaking," he said lowly, leaning close to her in an attempt to keep their
conversation as private as possible.
Amanda jumped. "What are you doing here?"
Sarek raised a brow at the
illogical question. "I had
sufficient credits; there is no reason I should not be here."
Amanda closed her eyes
disbelievingly, muttering something unintelligible. She looked forward again, watching as the
ride began to slow down.
"You seem to be
developing a rather displeasing habit of leaving before the conversation has
concluded," he gently lectured. He
saw her posture stiffen, and she pressed her lips together tightly, but otherwise
gave no response. "Perhaps we
should devise some signal to indicate when a discussion is complete?"
"I thought walking away
was a pretty clear signal," she smiled innocently at him.
The line moved forward as the
first three individuals – two adults and one child – boarded the ride. Sarek kept up beside Amanda. "Indeed," he said drolly,
"however, it is preferable if both parties agree to the conclusion before
you leave."
"Hey mister, no
cutting!" A petite, young female
behind him briskly shouted.
Sarek gave her a cursory
glance; her bright red lips and pink cheeks with blue eyelids brought to mind a
documentary on Terran Baboons he's recently seen. Her meaning unclear to him, Sarek turned his
attention back to Amanda.
"Besides," he continued, "walking away in that manner
could be construed as offensive in certain places. Earth, for example," he said dryly,
giving her a pointed look.
Amanda smiled, although she
did her best to cover it up. "I'll
try to remember that," she quipped.
Sarek nodded. "In that case, may we now continue our
discussion back in the flitter?"
"I'm in line for this
ride," Amanda stated.
"Is it not permissible
to leave the line?"
Amanda took a deep and slowly
released it. "I do not want to leave the line."
The ride came to a stop
again, and Sarek took his first close look at the machine. The "amusement" ride consisted of a
large power-operated wheel, approximately fifteen meters in diameter. There were two rims that ran parallel and
equidistant to a larger shaft about which the wheel rotated. Between the rims several platforms were
fixed, from which hung numerous "cars" in which passengers rode. Each car consisted of a box containing two
small bench seats that faced each other.
One side of the box was a door that slid apart to permit the
boarding/disembarking of passengers. The
sides came up to approximately chest level on a seated adult, and at each
corner was a post leading to a small roof, which in turn was where the
attachment to the wheel itself was found.
Sarek looked at the two
people in line before Amanda. They were
obviously together – if the manner in which their hands and lips rarely broke
contact was any indication – and since most of the cars on the ride consisted
of only two adults, it was logical to conclude they would occupy the next
one. That would leave Amanda next in
line…alone.
He looked back at Amanda, who
was staring at him in kind. "I am
going on this ride."
Sarek nodded briefly. "I understand."
"You can't go."
Sarek stiffened at the
imperialistic tone. "Indeed? Why not?"
Amanda smiled saucily. "You don't have the proper
credits." She held out her ride
card triumphantly.
Sarek reached into his tunic
and pulled out his own card, secretly amused by the fallen expression that
crossed her face. 'Check,' he thought.
"Hey buddy!"
There was a hard push on
Sarek's right shoulder from behind.
Reigning in his anger and indignation at such atrocious behavior, Sarek pulled
himself to full height as he turned to face the offending individual. He heard a sharp retort from Amanda, and
instinctively placed himself between her and the instigator. It was a large, burly male – companion to the
Baboon woman – who was himself quite colorful with several tattoos covering his
exposed arms and chest. The man stepped closer, puffing out his chest and
narrowing his eyes menacingly. Sarek
widened his own stance slightly, keeping his hands loosely clasped before him
should the need to defend himself arise.
He looked the man directly in the eyes.
The man lifted his arm,
jerking his thumb in the direction behind him.
"Get in line," he shouted loudly even though he stood only
inches away from Sarek.
Even though Sarek's gaze
never wavered, he could see several people behind the couple step away,
anticipating a fight. Sarek didn't
respond, but remained completely still, his face impassive but keeping their
gazes locked. Sarek could hear the ride
behind him had resumed, but still he waited.
Finally, the man's look wavered, he glanced at his companion
questioningly then looked back at Sarek – his confusion at not receiving the
reaction he expected easily readable.
Pressing his advantage, Sarek
continued to keep perfectly still.
"I am in line," he
stated quietly, permitting not a tracing of emotion to color his words. The ride began to slow down again.
The man's mouth fluttered,
but no words came as he looked from his woman to Sarek in quick
succession. Sarek continued to stare at
him.
"Next," the ride
operator called out.
Sarek took a step back, and
seeing no further signs of aggression from the man, he slowly turned, carefully
listening to the sounds around him for evidence that the man might try to
charge. Amanda stood facing him, her
face clouded in anger as she glared ominously towards the couple behind them.
"It is your turn,
Amanda," Sarek moved a bit to his right, completely blocking Amanda's view
of them. Amanda tsked
in disapproval, then spun on her heel and presented her ride card to the
operator. Her quick, jerky movements
were a clear indication to her agitation.
Once her card was swiped and returned, Amanda strode off to climb into
the car.
Sarek moved at a much calmer
pace, handing his own card to the operator, who was busy watching Amanda's
progression up the ramp. "My
card," Sarek said to capture the operator's attention.
He looked at Sarek, his
expression dumbfounded, then gave Amanda a last, lingering look while he
blindly accepted Sarek's card and swiped it through his machine. "She's, uh…" he checked that the
transaction was successful, then held the card out to Sarek, "feisty,
eh?" He gave a gesturing nod in
Amanda's direction, smiling lasciviously at Sarek.
There was something
unsettling about the operator's demeanor, but finding nothing objectionable in
his words Sarek nodded as he retrieved his card and moved up the ramp to join
Amanda. He took the seat opposite hers,
his eyes drawn to her legs – the left crossed over the right, her foot bobbing
agitatedly. Her arms were crossed as
well, and she didn't even acknowledge his presence as she was absorbed in
glaring at the troublesome couple in line.
"Amanda," he softly
called out to get her attention.
"That was unforgivably
rude," she snapped, not looking his way.
"It is done," he
placated. The car door slid shut and
Sarek heard an internal lock slide into place.
"Jerk!" Amanda
yelled out to the man below. Sarek heard
no verbal response, but did not look in that direction. His gaze remained on Amanda as he reached out
to lightly touch his hand to her bare knee.
That got her attention.
"Put the incident from
your mind," he gently commanded.
"He was intentionally
trying to start a fight!"
The supports keeping the car
steady released, catching Sarek unaware, and he instinctively grabbed the side
wall to steady himself. There was a
chuckle from Amanda.
"First time on a Ferris
Wheel?" she smirked.
"It is," Sarek
confirmed defensively, releasing the wall as he adapted for the ride's motions
as he was moved backwards and upwards on the wheel's rotation.
"So why did you
come?"
"It was logical – it is
the one location I could speak with you privately, and you could not
leave."
Amanda sighed. "You are stubborn, you know that?"
Sarek nodded amicably. "You have mentioned this before."
"Well, nothing's
changed."
"I could say the
same," he retorted.
Amanda rubbed her hands
wearily over her face. "All right,
Sarek. Say your piece."
The ride had reached its
zenith and began the second half of its rotation. "You inquired yesterday whether I was
'making any ancient claims' that night."
"You didn't actually
answer," Amanda supplied, a flutter rippling through her abdomen that had
nothing to do with the Ferris Wheel.
Sarek nodded. "I have considered the matter, and I
reached the conclusion that I do not believe it truthful if I were to say
no."
Amanda took a deep breath,
slowly releasing it. "Well, I
wouldn't worry too much about it, Sarek.
Neither of us were thinking clearly at the time. No doubt we both said or did things we didn't
intend."
"I considered this as
well," he admitted. "However,
if I were to be completely forthcoming, I would have to admit the idea of such
an action had occurred to me previous to that night."
While he still faced her,
Amanda didn't miss how he was avoiding eye contact, looking out the corner of
his eye. 'Embarrassment,' thought
Amanda. The Ferris Wheel came to a stop,
perching Sarek and Amanda at the top.
"I…I suppose fantasy is normal for any cognizant
species." She cleared her throat
uncomfortably. "I admit I've had a
few…somewhat salacious thoughts concerning you as well. Perfectly normal to be curious," she
tried to reassure him.
Sarek nodded, contemplating
Amanda's revelation. It was good they
affected each other similarly. "I
understand curiosity," Sarek said, "but fantasy…" his brow
furrowed, his discomfort palpable, "if it is normal for Vulcans, this is
the first I have ever experienced the phenomenon."
"Oh," she breathed,
her face flushing deeply, "well…still…"
Sarek swallowed hard, his
heart thudding against his ribs as panic threatened to take over. He had bared himself to her, spoken in a way
he never had before, but he seemed no closer to understanding her perception of
their relationship. Perhaps they were,
in fact, mistaken about her. "We
have stopped," Sarek commented, stalling to permit himself time to analyze
the situation.
"Probably just changing passengers,"
she suggested. The ride moved into
motion again and she gave him an uneasy "see there" smile.
Sarek settled back on his
seat, absently running mathematical equations through his mind to order his
chaotic thoughts and center himself. A
marriage arrangement was little more than a negotiation. He had been negotiating with Terrans for over
twenty Standard years. Perhaps what's
required is to resort to his strengths, and handle this in the manner he is
best equipped. Either that, or concede
defeat and return to the embassy now to resume his search for a wife. He looked at Amanda, his eyes roaming her
frame while she watched the passing scenery.
He never conceded defeat.
'Time to state my demands,'
he thought, assured of himself now that he had a plan of action. "The crux of the situation is
this," he explained. "I am in
need of a wife. I will soon be in need
of a mother for Sybok. You and I have
known each other for some time; I consider you a friend."
"Oh my god," Amanda
murmured, panic causing bile to rise in her throat. She gestured frantically to the operator as
they swooped by, hoping to stop the ride and get off, but he was otherwise
occupied by flirting with a buxom brunette waiting next in line.
Her actions did not go
unnoticed by Sarek, however. 'Stress the
positives,' he thought. "Marriage to
me would not be without certain privileges," he offered. "I hold a
respectable position within my government, as you know. My family holds much land and power among my
people; we are direct descendants of Surak's
lineage," he said importantly. He
noted Amanda did not appear impressed.
"You do know who Surak was?"
Amanda nodded mutely, a
pained expression on her face.
"I am capable of
providing for you in a manner equal to or, I believe, better than what you are
accustomed. There are certain duties
that would be required of you as an ambassador's wife; however, you would be
free to do as you wish outside of those times.
There would be ample opportunity for you to continue your career, if you
so choose," he reassured her.
"Sarek…" she began,
shaking her head.
'Amanda would have emotional
motives when choosing her mate…' Soran's voice again rang through Sarek's
mind. Sarek frantically tried to find
ways to appeal to her on that level.
"Sybok approves of the arrangement.
As does Soran and T'Rea." He
nodded encouragingly. "As do I, of
course," he added hastily. As they
again reached the top of the wheel, the ride came to a sudden stop, causing the
car to swing. Sarek glanced alarmingly
towards the roof where he could hear some unseen hinge squeak in protest to the
movement. When things seemed to settle
down he focused back on Amanda, who was watching him curiously. It dawned on him that what sounded like quite
a ruckus to him, she probably couldn't even hear.
"I'm…" Amanda
searched for the appropriate words.
"…flattered, really. I
understand your situation, your need for a wife and mother for Sybok, and I
am…truly honored that all of you deem me acceptable for that position. But…" she hesitated, shaking her head in
refusal. "That's not the way it's
done here. At least not for me. I am very fond of you, and of Sybok, but I
don't want to be a substitute – someone that will do in a pinch."
"Substitute," Sarek
murmured, considering. "No, that is
not correct. The others, they would be substitutes, but not you." He leaned forward to capture her gaze,
staring deeply into her eyes, seeking understanding, but seeing only
confusion. "Amanda," he got up
to sit beside her on the bench, but his movements caused the car to tilt and
the unseen hinge squeaked in protest.
Sarek quickly moved back to his seat.
"You're afraid of
heights!" Amanda chortled.
"I am not," Sarek
denied. "It is only this," he
glanced testily at the roof once again, "contrivance that I am not
sanguine for."
"I see," Amanda
smirked impishly. "Then you
probably wouldn't want me to do this."
She leaned forward, then tossed herself back, repeating the motion
several times to cause the car to swing.
"Stop that," Sarek
calmly ordered, refusing to allow her juvenile attempts to bother him. But the more she moved, the further the car
swung and the louder the hinge squeaked.
"Desist!" he commanded, reaching out to grab her upper arms as
she leaned forward. She stopped, staring
at him with slight alarm as she found herself trapped in his tight grip, her
face mere inches from his.
"I'm sorry," she
whispered, attempting to pull back but he didn't relent. "We’re perfectly safe," she
reassured him.
"Human technology is far
from perfect," Sarek murmured, his earlier alarm forgotten as he stared
back, mesmerized by the pulse jumping at the base of her throat. "Did I frighten you?" he asked
softly.
"No," she quickly
affirmed.
Sarek released one of her
arms and gently placed his paired fingers against the fluttering flesh, which increased
in intensity, eliciting a gasp from Amanda.
Catching her gaze, Sarek watched her, his head tilting as he scrutinized
her reactions.
"We…have stopped for
some time, haven't we?" she asked, hoping to break the intensity of the
moment. Sarek didn't answer, and Amanda
found herself unable to look away.
Fate intervened, or at least
the twerp at the controls did, and as suddenly as they had stopped, the ride
reassumed, Sarek's hold on her the only thing preventing Amanda from toppling
onto his lap. The spell broken, Sarek
slowly released her as their ride came to a stop at the ramp and the door slid
open. For a moment, they both sat
frozen, watching each other, then Amanda broke away and left the ride.
Sarek followed slowly after,
stopping at the bottom of the ramp to watch Amanda walk away from him. He waited, giving her time to notice he
absence, his creased brow the only outward sign of his disappointment as she
continued to move away. If she ran
again, he'd let her go.
Amanda could feel his eyes on
her, boring into her back. She stopped,
an internal battle raging within her, one side demanding she keep moving
without a backwards glance, the other refusing to leave him like this…a friend
in need, if nothing more. But was there
more? Could being a friend really be the
only requirement he had in a wife? Then
again, was that such a bad thing?
Romance fades in any marriage, and if there's nothing solid beneath it
to hold the couple together…
Sarek saw her stop, approximately
thirty meters from him, then turn around.
His head lifted slightly, carefully watching her through the crowd that
streamed past them. He forced his
features to go lax, his expression impassive.
He would not permit his eagerness to show. She would need to make the next step.
Amanda threw her hands up
exasperatedly then she strode back in his direction. "Come on," she implored, slipping
her arm through his to drag him with her.
Sarek followed along wordlessly.
"Are we leaving?"
he asked upon noticing they were headed in the direction of the exit.
"I'm afraid you'll wind
up in a brawl if I left you here alone."
Her sarcasm was evident. "What about your friend?"
"Oh. Well, she met up with this guy she 's had her
eye on for some time. They went their
own way."
Now that they were away from
the worst of the crowds, Sarek slowed his pace, and neither seemed to notice
when Amanda's hand slipped down his arm to become enclosed within his. "Where do you want to go?"
"Home," she
immediately answered. "I think I'll
call it a night."
"I'll transport
you," he offered.
"Actually, I'd prefer to
walk just now." She gave him an
apologetic look.
"Then I shall escort
you." He took the lead, taking them across the road to head towards
Amanda's house, their hands remaining linked.
"You don't have
to," Amanda told him.
Sarek stopped, pulling her
close and looking down at her affectionately.
"I am aware of that," he stated softly, enunciating each word
slowly. She nodded, blushing and looking
away demurely. Sarek continued their
walk, feeling her pleasure at his response and finding his own pleasure in the
knowledge. He kept her close to his
side. They turned down one of the sides
streets, and finally the noise faded and they found themselves alone.
"May I ask how is
marriage arranged among your people? I
have obviously done it incorrectly."
"There's no set way of
doing it, Sarek. But it's not
a…application process. Two people meet, they
spend time together and if they fall in love they decide to marry because they
can't imagine being without one another."
"T'Rea is under the
impression you do love me." He felt
her stiffen and start to pull away, but he refused to let go. He could feel the swirl of emotions he'd come
to recognize as Amanda's "signature", but nothing specific leapt out
at him. T'Rea was always much more adept
at understanding emotion than he was.
"Let me ask you
something," she began softly. Sarek
nodded once to indicate she should continue.
"Do you not have any female friends on Vulcan?"
"I do," he
confirmed.
"That aren't already
married?"
Sarek paused to think. "Two," he told her.
"Why aren't you asking
one of them to marry you?"
Sarek stopped, nonplussed. He shrugged imperceptibly. "Their clans are not…compatible with my
own."
"But surely better than
mine?"
"Yes," Sarek
admitted.
Amanda laughed silently,
taking the sting out of his words. She
knew it was the truth, but she doubted she'd ever be completely accustomed to
Vulcan bluntness. They resumed their
walk, turning down her walkway, where Sarek released her hand so Amanda could
unlock her door. Expecting to follow her
in, Sarek was surprised when Amanda turned in the doorway, blocking his way. "So?"
Sarek looked at her blankly,
then glanced into the house behind her.
"Invite me in."
Amanda ignored his
command. "Answer my question."
Sarek folded his hands before
his waist. "I did." She didn't respond, but leaned against the
door jamb, arms crossed, her stance clearly indicating no intention of either
letting him enter or leaving herself.
"It never occurred to me to ask them," he appeased. "I consider them friends."
"You consider me a
friend too," she reminded him.
"Yes, but," Sarek looked
away, taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it, "you are
different."
"Because I'm
human?" she guessed.
Sarek paused, watching her
silently. Her gaze locked with his own,
their expressions both intense. Sarek
wasn't even aware when he leaned closer.
His voice was barely audible.
"No."
Amanda's gaze dropped to his
lips, mere inches away, his breath hot upon her face. She saw his adam's
apple jump when he swallowed hard. When
she sought his eyes again, he was still watching her. "Come in," she murmured, taking a
large step back then turning to enter the kitchen area and busy herself at the
counter making tea.
Sarek followed, taking his
time in closing the door behind them.
"Want some?" she
asked, gesturing to the supplies on the counter before her. Sarek shook his head, refusing the offer, and
Amanda abandoned her efforts. She turned
around, leaning against the counter, her arms again crossed over her waist.
"Perhaps we should go to
the living area, to sit?"
"What if it didn't work
out?" she abruptly asked, catching Sarek off guard. "We could divorce, right? How does it work?"
Sarek hesitated. "Divorce is uncommon on Vulcan, granted
only with greatest cause. I would never
permit you to live in discontent."
"And what if we have children? We aren't even from the same solar system, so
how would we decide who keeps the children?" She threw her hands up helplessly. "I don't even know if you're interested
in having more children."
Sarek considered talk of
children to be a good sign -- a very good sign.
He couldn't keep the levity from his voice. "I desire children, Amanda. As for the other…" he twitched his head
slightly in lieu of a shrug, " we would reach a satisfactory arrangement
for all involved." He took a step
closer, his voice dropping intimately.
"Does this mean you accept?"
"Uh," Amanda blew
out an exasperated breath. "I don't know, Sarek. I just…any marriage is a leap of faith, but
this…this is more like a leap in the dark."
Sarek nodded. "There will no doubt be unforeseen
difficulties," he agreed. "But
they are of no consequence."
"Why?" she asked,
clasping her hands before her chest to still their nervous movements.
"Because, when you leap,
it will be with me." His brows rose
with sudden inspiration. "I will
catch you." He waited, pleased with
what he thought was a very imaginative allegory. His brows slowly returned to their natural
position, her reaction not at all receptive.
Sarek took a step closer, his voice dropping to an intimate murmur. "I cannot predict what our life would be
like," he admitted, " but as my bondmate, I pledge all that I have,
all that I am, to you."
A tingle spread throughout
her torso. "And what do I do to
deserve such devotion?" she whispered breathlessly.
"You--" Sarek paused,
once again wary of the subject before them.
"You shall sustain my life."
Amanda blushed, touched by
the romanticism, until she remembered Vulcans did not engage in such
things. "What do you mean?"
Sarek shook his head. "First I must know, will you accept me
as bondmate?"
Amanda sighed. "Must I decide this minute?" He nodded apologetically. "I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit
to having some reservations about this, Sarek.
A week ago the thought of marrying me hadn't entered your mind, but suddenly
you're so sure I'm the one. With
everything that's happened, I just wish I knew what you really…" Her voice trailed off, her eyes brightening
as inspiration struck.
She closed the gap between
them, touching her body to his.
"Close your eyes," she instructed to which Sarek immediately
compiled. Amanda reached out to lay her
palm against his cheek, satisfied when he still did not open his eyes. She slowly leaned forward, keeping her own
eyes open as she gently brushed her lips against his. When he didn't move away she pressed harder,
parting her lips slightly and pleased when he parted his in kind. When his arms encircled her, Amanda closed
her eyes, her arms reaching around his neck to pull him closer, giving herself
completely to the moment. When she
pulled away, she noted he was already watching her, his expression bemused.
"Was there a particular
significance to this action?"
"Um-hmm." She ran her tongue across her lips, his spicy
taste still evident. "There's an
old Earth song that advises that one should rely on a kiss to reveal a man's
true feeling."
Sarek's face closed. "And you are basing your decision on
this evidence?" At her nod his
hands arms involuntarily tightened around her.
"I…was unaware." He
pressed his lips disconcertingly.
"I would like to point out that I am rather inexperienced with this
form of affection. Perhaps I might be
permitted another try?"
Amanda bit back a laugh. "Sarek, it's really unnec…"
her expression fell. "What am I
saying? By all means, have another try
if you like!"
Sarek nodded with approval,
his thoughts turning inward as he prepared for this final 'test'. Taking a deep breath, he glanced inquiringly
at Amanda to see if she was ready. Sarek
tightened his arms around her, bringing her body snug against his, her arms
rested loosely around his own. He took a
moment to look at her, gazing into her eyes, noticing how her initially jovial
expression first turned serious, then flush as she responded to the desire he
projected. Sarek leaned forward, slowly,
watching her the whole time. Just
seconds before his lips touched hers she closed her eyes, her breath catching
at the first caress of their flesh.
Gently, just as she had done, Sarek brushed his lips across hers, and
when her lips parted in invitation, he grew bolder, applying more
pressure. His hands began roaming on
their own violation, caressing the curve of her spine. Amanda moaned softly, bringing her arms up to
again wrap around his neck.
A spike of desire shot
through Sarek, stealing his own breath.
Feeling more confident by her response, Sarek ran the tip of his tongue
across her lips, tasting her, and was rewarded by another moan and a gyration
of her pelvis against his. Her tongue
slid across his lips; Sarek prepared to return the gesture but she took
advantage when his parted and slid her tongue into his depths. She brushed her tongue against his, sucking
gently on his bottom lip as she pulled away just for only a second then
returned to him. Sarek matched her in
technique as well as fervor.
Amanda pulled away, turning
her head to the side to permit them both a chance to catch their breath. Sarek wasn’t satisfied though, there was too
much at stake. He brought his hand to
the back of her head, sliding his fingers into her hair and turned her face
towards him, capturing her lips again.
She pulled away, leaning her head back and exposing herself to him. Sarek pressed his lips to her throat, making
a trail down to the hollow, and pressing against the flutter of her pulse. His name escaped from her lips in a sigh.
Sarek straightened to meet
her eyes, patiently waiting until she finally opened them. He watched for any indication from her of his
performance, but based on her participation he was confident he had done well. Amanda
stared at him dumbfounded, her gaze traveling from his eyes down to his
wonderful, magical lips. She closed her
eyes again, leaning forward to rest her head against his shoulder. "Holy crow," she muttered.
"Was that
acceptable?" Sarek asked uncertainly, disturbed by her unfamiliar
utterance. She nodded wordlessly against
him, and Sarek gently took her by the shoulders to pull her from him. "Then I passed your test?"
Amanda smiled joyously. "Yes.
I'm probably crazy for doing this, but yes, I'll be your wife."
Elation soared through Sarek,
revealed by only the smallest of smiles he permitted to cross his face. His euphoria was short lived, however, as he
realized he could wait no longer to tell Amanda about pon farr. He slid his hands
down her arms until her hands lay within his.
"Come, I wish to sit with you.
There is more we must discuss."
Her brows furrowed but she followed him into the living room. When they sat together on her sofa, Sarek
released her hands to clasp his tightly together. Amanda pressed her hands together and slid
them between her knees to ward off their sudden chill from Sarek's
absence. She waited for several minutes
as Sarek composed his thoughts.
"There…is a thing that
happens to Vulcans. It is a very private
thing, something even we do not publicly discuss. However, as my wife, it would affect you and
I would not wish to subject you to such a thing without your complete
understanding and acceptance."
"You think it will
change my mind about marrying you?"
She smiled encouragingly even though he stared straight ahead, never
looking her way. "What? What is it?"
"It is…distasteful. It destroys our control…our logic."
"What...?" She shook her head, confused. "Like insanity? Is it a disease, a dementia, which affects you at some
point?"
"No," Sarek quickly
reassured her. "Not a disease, and
the effects are temporary." He
inhaled deeply. "It is a reproductive
cycle. We call it pon farr. It occurs
approximately every seven years in the adult male. It is a…compulsion to mate, at the expense of
our reason. If we do not, we can
die."
Her eyes widened
considerably. "Die. You mean, literally, die?" Sarek nodded resignedly. "Oh…" Amanda shifted
nervously. There was a pregnant pause as
Amanda considered this news. Sarek sat
in silence, inconspicuously watching her from the corner of his eye, attempting
to gage her reaction. "What,
precisely, is required to…make sure you don't die."
Sarek looked at her,
puzzled. "Mating," he stated with
an obvious tone.
Amanda felt a blush crawl
across her face. "I realize that,
but I mean…is there anything in particular that must be done, during the
mating, to…" Her words faltered, and
a feeble wave of her hand finished her thought.
"Nothing…extravagant." Sarek hesitantly replied, turning on the
couch to face her. "You have to
realize mating at this time is not…"
The words "like before" came to mind, but he found himself
reluctant to remind her of their previous experience. "It is not a delicate thing. There is no thought to pleasure, or
seduction. I will be blinded by my
needs, and it is you who will have to endure this time, and control it as best
you can."
The color faded from her
cheeks. "You make it sound
like…well, rape."
"No, it is not
rape," he quickly reassured her.
"Rape, as I understand it, is about controlling another, about
hurting someone. There is no malevolence
to pon farr; just need."
"Would you hurt
me?" She couldn't keep the quiver
from her voice.
Sarek grimaced slightly. "Not intentionally."
Amanda groaned, wrapping her
arms across her waist protectively.
Sarek reached out to take her right hand between his. "Let me elucidate. Under normal circumstances, there is no
injury during the Time. A Vulcan couple
is connected telepathically with each other, and this permits the female to
experience desire along with the male.
It is a mutual coupling, and the female can use this bond, as we call
it, to exert a certain amount of control over the male's lust."
Amanda struggled to swallow
the sudden lump in her throat. "But
we aren't 'normal circumstances', are we?
I'm not telepathic, and you are much stronger than I am."
Sarek could only nod, the
truth of her words undeniable and so obvious.
The risk was too great.
"Forgive me," he murmured, absently stroking her hand as he
resigned himself to finding another mate.
"I had no right to ask this of you." He began to pull away to leave but she held
him tight.
"Wait."
Sarek shook his head. "No, there are too many unknowns. It would be foolish for you to attempt
this."
"What about you? You are risking death."
"That is always my
risk."
Amanda placed her free hand
against his cheek. "I trust
you."
Sarek leaned into her
palm. "It is not a matter of trust,
Amanda. To trust me means you believe I
would never choose to harm you. There is
no choice in this."
Amanda shook her head
resolutely. "I. Trust.
You." He said nothing in
response, only watched her warily.
"I want to be your wife. If
you still want me, that is."
Sarek closed his eyes and
took a deep breath, opening them again as he exhaled. "I do," he replied, nodding to
support his statement.
Amanda smiled at his choice
of words, wondering if he knew their significance to certain Earth wedding ceremonies. She leaned forward and pressed a lingering
kiss to his lips.
"What is the
significance to that kiss?" Sarek asked when she had pulled away.
Amanda shook her head,
brushing her fingers against his lips.
"No significance. I've
simply discovered I enjoy kissing you."
She smiled up at him. "I
will probably want to do this often, if that is 'acceptable'?"
Sarek slid one arm around
her, drawing her closer. He used his
paired fingers of the other hand to trace the line of her jaw and throat. "It is," he affirmed, pulling her to
him for another embrace.
**~~**
Sarek entered his suite,
nonchalantly tossing his cloak onto the rack as he glanced through some
communiqués he picked up from his office on his way upstairs.
"It is very late."
Sarek nodded with no surprise
at T'Rea, who was seated behind his desk.
He placed his communiqués on the surface and took the seat opposite
hers. They watched each other in silence
for several minutes. "You will have
to cease this entering my premises uninvited," he scolded her, unable to
maintain the illusion of any real disapproval.
T'Rea's face lightened. "She agreed?"
Sarek nodded one time.
T'Rea released a sigh of
relief. "Then I believe
'congratulations' is the appropriate term."
Sarek nodded his thanks. "Does this mean you are satisfied with
the current state of affairs?"
T'Rea stood to take her
leave. "It is satisfying to know
Sybok will be cared for by two parents when I am no longer present." The gravity of her situation lingered between
them lessening the mood. She bowed to
him. "I shall take my leave for
tonight. Sleep well."
Sarek got up to follow her
out, catching her just as she opened the door.
"Shall I presume that you will no longer interfere in my personal
affairs?" he teased gently.
T'Rea paused, assuming a
contemplative look.
"Certainly," she agreed heartily, noting the satisfaction that
crossed Sarek's features. "I can
discuss children with Amanda." She
quickly left the room, shutting the door firmly behind her and moving down the
hall as quickly as Vulcan decorum would allow.
Sarek remained rooted where
he stood, staring at the closed door. He
clasped his hands behind his back, thinking, his fists unconsciously clenching
and unclenching. He moved to the door,
stopped short of opening it, then impulsively threw it open and stepped into
the hallway. "T'Rea," he
called out, but she was already out of sight.
The End.