He Walks Alone
Author: Jane Wray
Code: Sarek, Amanda
Series: TOS
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Star Trek et al is owned by
Summary: The protocol officer at the Vulcan Consulate
relates her observations of a certain diplomat.
Most would see no change in
him as he deliberates about critical issues among his peers or carefully
entices the computer to deliver his needed data. Only one who has long known his habits would
see the change. He is quiet in the
period not filled with duty. Many would
say that he has often been like that, but it is still not exactly the same.
For years, I knew him on
Vulcan, two seasons his senior and yet generations away. He dealt with his propensity for emotion by
verbosity in school and work, silence when alone. He had few friends and none who would call
themselves linked. He seemed at home in
the diplomatic service where he was identified as an unemotional Vulcan rather
than a fellow Vulcan with emotions. He
passed his life serenely, although none would identify him as fulfilled.
Then she came. His eyes sparkled with new life and he began
to speak in ways I had never heard from him.
He conversed over food, during walks with her, at specified social engagements. He seemed released from his shell of
loneliness.
We have all been instructed
never to form mental links with the Earthpersons we
move among. Their culture is so filled
with taboos and they fear all differences in relationships, even those that do
not directly involve them. Her family
suffered from bigotry even in these modern times, threatening estrangement if
she considered a bond with one not of her race.
She could not bear the pain.
So, he is silent again in his
free times. Alone, he walks the same
park paths he once walked with her. But
he seems somehow different as he thoughtfully regards the same scenery that he
recently observed with her. He sometimes
plucks a white flower from some common bush and regards it with a near
smile. A night, he walks in the garden,
even after the time that he generally retires.
He seems especially wakeful during the times of the full moon.
Even my knowledge of him does
not allow me to read much of his thoughts.
At times, I see him as a mental dam, holding back a torrent of pain over
the fact that he tenderly supported her in her decision to walk away. Occasionally, the pain spills over like tears
of the mind not allowed on Vulcan cheeks.
I think he may have cried before her, but no one else will ever know.
Last night, the Earth moon
was full again and I passed near him in the garden. An unguarded thought slipped through his veneer,
the disadvantage of being of a telepathic race.
He was mourning some beautiful fantasy child who would now never live to
laugh and understand the parts of both races which the others could not fathom.
T'Pray
Protocol Officer
Vulcan Consulate