Flash of Blue

Sarek/Amanda

Rated PG

By TheLadyAmanda

DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns Star Trek, Sarek and Amanda, and it’s such a shame they didn’t do more with their characters.

 

This takes place between “Amok Time” and “Journey to Babel”.  A possible explanation of how Sarek’s heart problem came to be at that particular time.

 

Sarek switched off the comm unit.  He had to repress a sigh as he recalled everything T’Pau had told him about the disaster that was Spock’s aborted bonding ceremony with T’Pring.  He realized that Amanda had been standing behind him the entire time during his conversation with T’Pau, and was uncharacteristically silent. He felt Amanda’s shields raised over their bond; she had actually closed him out. Sarek turned to his wife and he caught a violent flash of blue that was the violence and anger in her eyes.

 

Amanda began to walk away, and Sarek attempted to reach for her.  “My wife,” he began.

 

Amanda turned around and in pure fury seethed, “How much more will our son have to endure in the name of logic and Vulcan tradition?  Spock was seven years old and I knew then that it was a mistake to bond him to that wretched child T’Pring!”

 

“Amanda, we had no way of knowing how a seven year old child would behave as an adult.  Predicting future events without previous incidents of similar behavior is simply not logical,” Sarek replied.

 

This seemed to anger Amanda even further and she shouted at her husband, “Logic, Sarek, it’s always logic!  This isn’t a science experiment, or a computer program, my husband!  This is our son, our son who is the first hybrid of his kind, our son who has constantly been tormented by his dual heritage!  We have no previous examples to go by!”

 

A flicker of regret went across Sarek’s face but his face immediately became neutral once again and he said, “Amanda, I admit that our son has always been unique, especially in regards to his Human genetics, but you know that Spock chose the Vulcan way when he was just a boy.  This included the bonding with T’Pring, as his contemporaries were also being bonded as well.”

Amanda paced and vibrant cerulean met Sarek’s own dark eyes and she said, “But, Sarek, this time, it wasn’t just Spock who suffered.  T’Pring’s deception also extended to Spock’s captain, whom she chose for the challenge.  An innocent bystander had to suffer because of ancient Vulcan traditions that he had no knowledge of.”

 

Sarek inwardly winced.  Captain Kirk’s involvement was indeed, regrettable, but he had no idea that Spock would actually invite an outworlder to such a private thing among Vulcans.  But then, logically, it was Spock’s right to invite his closest male friends to the ceremony.  Amanda had made some very logical points.  In nearly forty years of marriage, he had never been able to truly win an argument with her.

 

Amanda studied her husband.  She could see the subtle nuances in his eyes that told her that her points were being contemplated.  She made a gamble, and it was time to try to breach the years-long silence between Sarek and Spock.  “Sarek,” Amanda began, “it has been a very long time since we have seen our son.  Your silence with him kept us from being in attendance at his kuhn-ut-kalifee.  We could have been there to offer support for our son.”

 

“Emotional support,” Sarek replied, “is an illogical Human necessity.  Our presence would have done nothing to deter T’Pring from her actions.”

 

Anger flared again, and Amanda clenched her fists at her sides and said, “As you are so fond of forgetting, my logical husband, our son is also half-Human, and as such, has Human needs as well as Vulcan ones.  To deny this is patently illogical on your part, Sarek.  All of these years of silence have not only cost you and Spock, but I have also had to suffer because of your unwillingness to accept Spock’s decision to go into Starfleet.  Do you not realize why Spock went into Starfleet, Sarek?  It wasn’t to defy you.  In Starfleet, he can be accepted for who he really is.  On Vulcan, people will always be watching for him to not be Vulcan enough.

 

“Sarek, you need not remind me of how illogical this is, but I love you.  But I love Spock, too, with all of a Human mother’s lioness ways.  I have seen him hurt by his schoolmates, by your constant disappointment in him, and now by T’Pring.  I am getting older now, and I have had all I can take of the strain within our family.  Our trip to Babel is soon.  I happen to know you can pull some strings so that we may travel by way of the Enterprise.  You will do this for me, and you will make the effort for Spock that you were unable to do for the debacle that was his bonding ceremony.”

 

Sarek’s eyebrow traveled until it was nearly into his hairline.  He had seen Amanda’s motherly outbursts, but it was very rare that she had made such pointed demands of him.  “Amanda, I realize that you are very upset because of T’Pau’s news of Spock’s bonding ceremony, but this is highly illogical behavior on your part.  Spock’s place is on Vulcan.  In Starfleet he often has to make very illogical decisions, and perform tasks unbecoming of a Vulcan and against the tenets of Surak.  I will not make special arrangements for a concession that is not to be made,” Sarek said.

 

Amanda’s rage boiled over and her eyes went almost fluorescent in their fury.  Sarek caught the flash of blue, and not even her shields could prevent her anger from spilling over their marital bond.  Sarek nearly physically recoiled because her fury felt like a slap in the face.

 

“Sarek, I am almost 60 years old.  You and I both know that due to your physiology, you will most likely outlive me by at least a century, perhaps even more than that.  You will need Spock then, and he will need you when I am no longer here with you,” Amanda quavered, in a frantic struggle to prevent herself from screaming.

 

Amanda stepped forward to her husband and looked at him coldly. “Spock could have lost his life because of T’Pring choosing the challenge.  Our son could have died without our family being healed.”  Her voice escalated, “You WILL do this for me, Sarek.  We WILL be on board the Enterprise on the way to Babel, and you WILL find a way to repair your relationship with our son!”

 

Before Sarek could respond, Amanda fled to Spock’s unoccupied bedroom and shut the door.  Sarek knew this meant that Amanda was finished with the discussion, and that she would also not be sleeping in their bed tonight.

 

Sarek went to his study and began to meditate.  How had she known T’Pring was the incorrect choice?  But she did know.

 

Humans are often illogical beings, mused Sarek, but they often have superior instincts that have no logical explanation.  Sarek found himself having a hard time meditating as he continued to ponder Amanda’s fierce words.  There was truth in what she had said.  Her fury had struck him in a way he had never experienced in their many years together.  Her eyes flashed blue at him…

 

Suddenly Sarek felt a white-hot streak of pain rip through his chest.  The vision of Amanda’s blue eyes flashing angrily at him were all he could see as he clutched at his chest.  The pain began to fade, but he could feel the effects of it still.  I had a cardiac attack, Sarek thought, What if Amanda is incorrect and I predecease her?  What if I should die without attempting to speak to my son again?

 

Sarek started down the hall and looked in Spock’s room.  His wife had fallen asleep on Spock’s bed, with tears still staining her cheeks, clutching Spock’s baby blanket.  As he looked at his wife, he remembered when Spock was born, the pride he could only project across the bond to Amanda, their happiness in the miracle of their son’s birth.

 

Sarek looked at his wife and made a decision.  Tomorrow he had two things to do.  He would contact Sorel and make an appointment to have his health evaluated.  He would also speak with T’Pau and ensure that he and Amanda would be traveling to Babel on the Enterprise.

 

The End