[Note from the author: I took all the medical information in the following story from sources in the internet. I have no personal experience with those conditions and nothing I describe here can be seen as medical fact. Just so that you are warned :)

I borrowed Dr. Corrigan again - as sign of respect to the author who set up this character. I was nice to him - honest ;)]

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Series: Not Always Cinnamon And Roses
Title: Bittersweet Kreyla
Author: T'Sia
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek and the characters. I only borrow them to play.
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"Navun", the toddler screamed and attacked the tower of small building bricks. The pieces flew in several directions. "Bum," the baby squealed in delight when the main part of the tower collapsed. Expectantly the small boy looked at his elder brother who sat on the couch across from him, reading from a data pad.

"Sy!" the baby cried insistently again, yet unable to pronounce the second syllable of his brother's name.

The elder boy's eyes flickered away from his pad briefly and scanned the battle scene that showed the destroyed remnants of the once proud tower his younger brother had built.

"Well done Spock-kam," he acknowledged absently minded and gently kicked one of the building bricks back to the blanket where his brother was playing.

Dissatisfied with the amount of attention the toddler crawled over to his brother. "Play," he demanded, motioning to the blanket with a small hand. Sybok breathed deeply. He knew Spock wouldn't leave him alone. The persistence of his brother was unique. He wouldn't cease to beg. "Very well," he said, imitating his father's voice while he sedately laid away the data pad. Then his mouth set into an amused smile and he sank to his knees. "I'll get you," he cooed, the exemplary stance of his father forgotten. Spock knew the game and quickly crawled away from his brother, Sybok close on his heels.

Spock squealed with delight when Sybok caught him before he had reached his play blanket. The elder boy grabbed his brother and rolled onto his back, holding the toddler to his chest. "I got you, I got you," he said triumphantly and held the squealing child in his arms.

~*~

Amanda wiped her hands on a kitchen towel and slid the last tray with kreyla cookies into the oven unit. She didn't often have time to cook with her duties at the academy. Even when working only part time three days in a week there were so many things left to do that most of their home foods still came from the replicator. She still had to correct the final exams of her class at the academy but she knew how much Sybok and Sarek enjoyed her version of kreyla biscuits. The treats were not time consuming in preparation and so she had just granted herself a break from work to bake them and surprise her husband and Sybok.

She heard the toppling building bricks from the living room and left the kitchen to see what Spock was up to. She was not concerned for his well being, though, as long as Sybok kept an eye on him. She remained standing in the open bow that marked the entry to the spacious living room when she saw Sybok crawling after Spock.

They almost looked like human boys in play. Once again she marvelled at how different Sybok was from the other Vulcan children she knew. When he had first come to live with them after the death of his mother he didn't seem to be different from other Vulcan children whose controls made them sedate and calm. But since Spock's birth she had often seen Sybok's emotions coming through. He had certainly changed and had become more emotional although, she was well aware he only acted that way when Sarek was not home. She smiled softly when Spock squealed in delight. Her smile faded somewhat when she remembered that Sarek would not tolerate this behaviour. He would begin Spock's training early due to his dual heritage in order to ensure that Spock's human side was not to interfere with the Vulcan upbringing. She felt a vague unease when thinking of Spock's upcoming training. He was such a friendly and cheerful child. He smiled often and seemed to adore his elder brother who returned his affection in kind. Although she knew the close connections and open play could make it more difficult for Spock to suppress his emotions later on she could not bring herself to ask Sybok to stop his way of interaction with his brother.

A soft chime brought her out of her musings and she turned from the scene in the living room to answer the door. The monitor showed a Vulcan boy in front of the gate and she recognized him as being one of Sybok's classmates. When she released the closing mechanism on the outer gate the boy entered and approached the main entrance of the house. He came to a halt in front of the door when Amanda opened it and then he raised his hand in the Vulcan greeting.

"Live Long And Prosper, T'sai Amanda, aduna Sarek," he greeted.

"Peace and long life, Sanat," Amanda replied. "I trust it you came to see Sybok?"

The boy nodded. "Yes T'sai. We have an appointment."

Amanda motioned for the boy to come in. "Okay then, come on in. He is in the living room."

The boy entered and Amanda shut the door behind him. She led him to the living room where Sybok was occupied with building a new brick tower for Spock. He looked up when Amanda and Sanat appeared in the entrance to the living room. Spotting his peer he stood and placed the remaining bricks in front of Spock.

"You continue from here on sa-kai," he said and then he turned to his friend. "Greetings Sanat, son of Sehtil. Your presence honours us."

Amanda almost rolled her eyes. It was still strange for her to hear five year olds speak in this formal way to each other.

"Greetings Sybok, son of Sarek. Your hospitality is most welcome. Are you prepared to discuss our school project?"

Sybok nodded. "Yes. Please be seated," he answered and motioned for the couch. Sanat complied and took a pad out of the bag slung over his shoulder.

Amanda cleared her throat. "If you two need anything, I will be in the kitchen," she said, casting an expectant glance at Sybok in order to remind him of offering his guest refreshments. Sybok nodded almost imperceptibly. Amanda smiled at the boys and went to take the cookies from the oven.

While Sybok prepared his own data pads Sanat's gaze fell on Spock who sat on his blanket, his gaze switching between him and his brother. Tentatively Spock smiled at the other boy. "Hiiii," he repeated the word he had heard his mother say.

"Hi?" Sanat echoed. "What does that mean?"

"It is a Terran short form of a greeting," Sybok answered. "The only one he can pronounce so far."

Sanat made a noise in his throat and the corners of his mouth sagged in disapproval when he regarded the smiling baby. "Yes, this display of emotion is Terran indeed. So it should not be surprising he uses Terran words. After all he is of mixed heritage."

Sybok's brows bunched together when he felt a surge of anger rush through him upon hearing Sanat's condescending tone of voice. "What is this Sanat? Are you here to insult us with your dubious hints to my brother's parentage?"

The sharp undertone in his brother's voice was not lost on Spock and his smile faded slowly. He didn't know what was going on. His small fists pressed to his mouth in a gesture of uncertainty he looked up at his brother with a bewildered expression in his big brown eyes. Was something wrong?

Sanat regarded Sybok coolly. "No Sybok. There was no hidden meaning in my words."

Sybok lifted his chin defiantly, not willing to back down. "I think there was."

Sanat seemed to remember a guest was not to offend his host and inclined his head. "I ask forgiveness if my words offended you. It was not my intention to imply an insult," he answered. It was only half the truth. "There is no insult in facts, is there?"

Sybok lowered his head but kept his gaze on the other boy. He could not give a negative answer since it had not been Sanat's words but rather his tone that rendered his stating of facts an insult. Sybok narrowed his eyes. Sanat was very clever. He had conveyed his opinion successfully but by his choice of words it couldn't be seen as a direct insult. He could still claim he didn't mean it in a negative way and Sybok couldn't prove him a liar. He was tempted to send Sanat away but that would be very impolite. Sanat had apologized, therefore leaving Sybok with no reason to keep the argument going.

Sybok slowly inclined his head. "I take your word for it," he answered, acknowledging the truth in Sanat's words but also letting him know he saw through his explanation.

Sanat didn't blush. Only the slight flicker in his eyes told Sybok his message had been received. "I will get us refreshments now," Sybok finally said and got up.

Spock's gaze was glued on the strange boy who had angered his brother. When Sybok went past him on the way to the kitchen he felt terribly alone and abandoned with the stranger. His face bunched up and he let out a wail, holding out is arms to his brother.

Sybok's gaze flickered to Sanat but the other boy didn't comment on the baby's behaviour. Sybok bent down to Spock. He touched the temple of his brother and quickly established mental contact. Instantly Spock's wailing stopped. But as soon as the older boy straightened the baby began to fuss again. With a sigh Sybok finally picked him up and carried him to the kitchen.

Amanda just finished putting two glasses of water and a small plate with freshly baked cookies on a tray. She looked up when Sybok entered and smiled when she saw Spock in his arms. She extended her arms and Sybok handed over the baby. Spock smiled broadly when Amanda cuddled him. He giggled and buried his face in her shoulder, leaving a trail of drool on her shirt. But she didn't seem to notice. When she looked up she saw Sybok waiting patiently. Something in the boy's expression was wrong. "What is it Sybok?" she asked.

The boy briefly averted his gaze and then looked up at her. "There is nothing wrong, T'sai," he answered evenly.

But Amanda knew something had happened. The boy's eyes were clouded with something more than just his usual calm behaviour. He reminded her so much of Sarek. They were alike in many ways. But feelings Sarek hid behind his Vulcan mask was often to be seen in Sybok's eyes – just like in this moment when she could see something was wrong despite his effort to present her the equally neutral face Sarek used when he didn't wish to speak about a matter that troubled him. She sighed inwardly. No use in trying to force him. She disentangled Spock's small hand from her hair and motioned for the tray. "I prepared refreshments for you and your friend."

Sybok bowed a tad too formally. "Thank you. That was most generous of you." He picked up the tray and turned to leave the kitchen. Spock extended a hand in his direction and made a sound that indicated his wish to go with his brother. Sybok first froze and then turned back to Amanda. "Would you mind keeping Spock with you in the kitchen?" he asked. "We need to study," he added almost as an afterthought.

Amanda's mouth tightened. So it was about Spock again. He was yet so little but nevertheless Vulcan visitors as well as family members seemed to be displeased by his behaviour. She deduced from Sybok's behaviour that Sanat had made a comment regarding the baby. Protectively she held Spock a little closer. "Of course I will. If that is your wish," she answered, her voice tinged with a sharp undertone.

Sybok almost cringed visibly as if being hit. The glasses on the tray clinked. The mask fell for an instant and she saw the hurt look in the boy's eyes. Then he cast his gaze to the floor. Amanda's anger dissolved and she felt sorry for releasing her anguish about the way other Vulcans treated her son on the wrong person. She knew Sybok doted on his little brother. Were he human she would have said he loved the baby with all his heart. But Sybok was Vulcan, although, he sometimes seemed so vulnerable and sensitive – almost human. She knew how to treat Humans and Vulcans but she didn't know how to treat him since he displayed behaviours of both species. She wondered briefly if this was what Spock would be like in a few years or whether he would even display more of this behaviour due to his mixed heritage.

Sybok lifted his gaze to her again. "I ask forgiveness, T'sai, I did not mean to..."

He interrupted his speech when Amanda shook her head. "No Sybok. It is I who has to apologize. I vented my anger on the wrong person. It's not your fault," she said. Spock picked up on the sombre mood in the room and laid his head on her shoulder. Amanda stroked calmingly over his sleek hair, keeping her gaze on the other boy. Sybok nodded and used his shoulder to push the door to the living room open.

Amanda sighed deeply and put Spock down on the counter beside her. The baby grabbed for the fresh kreyla biscuits but she took his hand. "No honey, those are not good for you," she said. Before the child could fuss about being denied the treats Amanda opened a drawer.

"Look what mommy has for you here," she said, drawing the toddler's attention away from the kreyla biscuits. She lifted a package and shook it so that the contents rattled inside. Spock's eyes grew wide and he smiled when recognizing the sound. Amanda smiled back at him and gave him a piece of sweet Zwieback that was safe for him to eat. With his genetic makeup it was difficult to tell how his body would react to special ingredients. Thus they had to be very careful with the food they gave him and she was almost sick with worry each time they tried new items with the emergency kit ready to treat allergic reactions. A shiver ran through her when she remembered the incident a few months back when Spock's throat had swollen shut in reaction to a new brand of mush. Had they not been in the hospital where he had been given medicine against the allergic reaction her little boy would have suffocated. She breathed deeply to suppress the illogical panic. Spock was fine. There he was, sitting on the counter in front of her and showing a toothy grin through a mixture of drool and Zwieback around his mouth. He seemed to enjoy himself and munched on his treat.

Amanda pushed away the tray with the kreyla biscuits in a physical manifestation of ridding herself off the disturbing memories. She picked up the baby and took him to the study with her. She still had to work on the final exams of her class. She put Spock down on a blanket in his play corner of the study where he stayed when his parents had to work. She had convinced Sarek that she could watch him better here instead of leaving him alone in the playpen in his room. He would whine and fuss anyway without company. So after a few attempts to leave him upstairs that had been accompanied by heavy protest of their son Sarek had finally relented to her logic and they had set up this play corner for him. Curious as always Spock directly developed interest in his toys and she set to work at her desk.

Some time later Amanda got up and went into the adjoining library. She smiled when she walked past Spock who had curled on the blanket and was sleeping soundly. As an afterthought she retrieved stylus and pad from her desk and disappeared in the library, leaving the door open to be able to hear if Spock woke up.

She had just found the book she sought when the chime of the doorbell disturbed her. She looked down at Spock while passing him on her way to the door but he was still sleeping and so she deemed him safe and decided not to wake him. Disturbed in his sleep by the sound of the bell and the steps of his mother the child stirred. When Spock opened his eyes, he was alone. Where were his mother and Sybok? He listened intently for a few seconds and heard Amanda's voice. He got up on still wobbly legs and made his way out of the room to see Amanda in the anteroom to the main hall, speaking to someone at the door. A noise made his gaze turn in the other direction and he spotted his brother and Sanat leaving for the garden. As quickly as his short legs could carry him he ran into the living room to intercept them.

~*~

"Shall we go outside and see if we can find traces of the animals?" Sybok proposed after they had finished the preparations for presenting their paper. Sanat eyed the remaining kreyla cookies but it was considered impolite to 'drain the host's food supplies', even though this aspect of etiquette had its roots with the desert travellers of ancient times when sharing of food had a much higher significance since it was rare and feeding a stranger endangered the whole clan. It had been a sign of courtesy and respect back then not to consume the entire food the host offered. So Sanat dismissed the thought of eating the remaining cookies and nodded his consent. "Yes, that would be acceptable."

"I am sure we will find burrows. The hills nearby are full of c'hik. Sometimes they come into the garden." Sybok's lips twitched lightly. "Much to the regret of T'sai Amanda," he added.

Sanat allowed an amused twinkle in his eyes and the boys got up. They went outside into the garden and closed the door securely behind them, without hearing the toddler running after them.

~*~

Spock saw the door being closed and quickened his pace. He lost his balance and fell. The impact was rather harsh and he wanted to wail and call for mommy but the desire to go outside with the other boys was greater and so he ignored his discomfort. He reached the door only in time to see the boys disappearing in the thick vegetation of the garden. He stretched for the door handle but couldn't reach it. A rush of anger and disappointment flooded him and he slumped hard on his behind and wailed, his mouth drawn into his best pout. But his mother didn't come, not even when he wailed louder. Realizing the failure of his attempts he scrambled to his feet and ran to the door to enforce Amanda's comfort. When he came by the low living room table, however, his gaze fell on the tray. His eyes widened when he saw the remaining cookies on the plate. At once his brother and Amanda were forgotten and his eyes were glued to the golden brown treats. One hand put on the rim of the table for support a chubby hand grabbed for the plate with the cookies. Drawing the plate from the tray it fell from the table. The break proof porcelain clinked loudly on the tiled floor and Spock froze. The plate came to a skidding halt under the couch and it was silent in the room again. 

One finger stuck into his mouth Spock looked anxiously at the door to see if his mother would come and admonish him.  But she didn't. So the toddler sank to his knees and reached for the cookies that lay beside the plate. He gave a triumphant sound when he had reached one of them. The taste was sweet and appealed to him. "Hmmmmm," he mumbled while eating.

He wiped his sleeve over his mouth and looked outside to see if his brother had returned. But the other youth was nowhere to be seen. So he reached under the couch again to grab and eat the second cookie. When he noticed he was still alone after consuming all that was left of the biscuits he turned his attention to the toys on his blanket. But they could not catch his attention for long. So he got up and made his way back into the hall and saw Amanda who was standing near the counter she had placed a parcel on. "Whee," Spock said and grinned at her.

"Hey, what are you doing here, hmm?" Amanda said and smiled back. She had heard him rummaging around in the living room but had not been able to get rid of the delivery officer to check on Spock. She approached him and cast a glance into the living room to see if all was in order. The room was empty but the door to the garden, although closed, was unlocked. So the other boys must be outside. She spotted only the empty water glasses on the couch table and smiled satisfied that the plate with the cookies was nowhere to be seen. Sybok had certainly brought it back to the kitchen. She turned her attention to the toddler clutching her leg. "Slept enough? Want to go back into the study with mommy?"

"Ha," Spock gurgled and Amanda bent to pick him up. But he retreated and gave a refusing sound. Amanda held her breath when Spock swayed for an instant, having lost his balance during his hasty retreat. But he caught himself and smiled at her, making another step in the direction of the study. She understood. Since he had learned to walk he didn't like to be carried too much. "Okay, then you go on your own," she relented and walked close behind him when he set off.

About half an hour later Spock was looking at his toys strew around him. He picked up one, then another. But nothing caught his interest. His sight was blurry and he was very thirsty. But he was so very tired that the thought of demanding water slipped away and he curled into a ball on the blanket and his eyes fell shut.

When the sounds from the blanket ceased Amanda looked up briefly. Her eyebrows rose when she saw Spock was sleeping again. That was a little odd since he had napped already. She got up to check on him but he was sleeping peacefully. She felt his forehead but found his temperature normal. She shrugged and covered him with a smaller blanket. Maybe he was just tired today. She yawned and realized she was tired too but she had still work to do, so she went back to the desk.

~*~

The lights of the aircraft lit the small landing platform beside the town house. Sarek engaged automatic control and watched the sunset over the Forge until the view disappeared and was replaced with the façade of the house when the craft descended and landed securely on the platform. Sarek picked up his briefcase from the co-pilot's seat and got out of the flitter. The warmth of the day was dissolving quickly and the first fresh breeze swept in over the garden wall that separated their estate from the desert. 

He entered the house and listened carefully. Normally his home would be filled with the sounds of his younger son playing but today everything remained silent. Surprised about the unusual peace he closed the door and took off his robe. He cast a short glance into the living room but spotted only the tray with the two empty glasses sitting on the table. Raising an eyebrow he went to the table and picked up the tray. It was not like Amanda to leave dishes outside the kitchen. So it could only be Sybok who had left the glasses. He noticed a pad and a bag on the couch that were unknown to him. Maybe Sybok had gone outside with a friend. No matter. His son would have to be admonished again for leaving dishes and food within Spock's reach. Sarek took the tray to the kitchen but this room was also empty. He was greeted, however, with the sweet fragrance of freshly baked kreyla cookies and he could not withstand the urge to take one. Slipping the flat treat into his mouth he disposed of the tray and the glasses he had brought from the living room. When he swallowed the sweet biscuit he withstood the temptation to eat another one and left the kitchen. Pausing in the hall he heard a sound from the study. When he pushed open the door he saw Amanda sitting at her desk, concentrating over a pad before her. She didn't hear him and yawned deeply, stretched and rubbed the sore muscles at the base of her neck. 

Silently he stepped up behind her and laid his hands over hers. She jumped lightly at his contact but instantly recognized him through the mind link. She smiled softly and slid out her hands under his so that he could take over the part of kneading her sore muscles.  "Ouch," she winced slightly when he eased a knot out of her flesh. 

"Shall I stop, my wife?" he asked, the sound of his soft baritone voice enveloping her in its smooth vibrations.

"Never," she answered but leaned her head back as far as she could to look up at him. A small smile played around his lips when he bent to give her a soft kiss on the mouth. "Really, Sarek. Not in front of our son," she said with a teasing smile when they parted. His face revealed a surprised expression when his gaze went to the play corner. It had been so quiet that he had not even realized his son was in the room. It was unusual for Spock to sleep at this time of the day. Amanda seemed to read his thoughts. "He's very tired today. I checked on him earlier and he seems to be fine."

Sarek nodded; through the parental bond he touched his son's thoughts briefly and noticed he was still sound asleep. So he refrained from delving deeper into Spock's mind to check his autonomic functions. He withdrew and the slight concern eased until it disturbed him no longer. His gaze travelled back to the piles of data pads on Amanda's desk, neatly divided into pads she had already corrected and work she had still to do. "Do you wish to continue your corrections?" he asked.

Amanda glanced at the pile of pads. The stack with the corrected pads had grown considerably during the last hours. She could correct the others too today if given a little bit more time. "Yes, I would like to continue," she answered. "But what about dinner?"

"If you wish I shall attend to this task today," Sarek answered.

Amanda turned her chair so that she could look up to him without having to twist her neck. "Oh, would you?" Sarek was a good cook, although, he seldom indulged in this occupation. He usually brought a workload home to attend to after having finished his lectures at the academy. Sarek crossed his arms in front of his chest and sighed in mock exasperation. "I believe I just said that," he gave back.

Amanda smiled and was rewarded with a twitch of her husband lips. "That would be great. Thank you. I don't deserve you," she answered teasingly and tugged at his robe so that he would bend down to her. But he raised an eyebrow and remained standing and so she just grabbed his hand and placed a light kiss on his palm. He brushed his fingertips against the underside of her chin, sending her a warm impulse over the bond. //I believe it is more the other way round.// Then he turned and left the room.

Sybok and Sanat entered through the garden gate. In the light of a lantern they studied the results of their research. The nest of fur and thin desert grass lay lightly in Sybok's hand. They had been fortunate to find the abandoned nest in an empty rodent burrow, together with seeds of different plants. This would make excellent presentation material. The boys didn't smile at each other but walked over to the house with a contented atmosphere between them; the tension of the afternoon forgotten.

When they entered they heard sounds from the kitchen but otherwise the house was quiet. The boys agreed that Sybok should bring the nest with him to school the next day and Sanat left after retrieving his bag. After he had seen his friend to the door Sybok went to the kitchen to show what they had found. When he entered he was surprised to find his father. "Greetings, Father. Look what Sanat and I found," he said and held out the nest.

Sarek heard his son entering and quickly swallowed the last bits of the third kreyla cookie he had 'stolen' since returning to the kitchen. It would not serve as a good example if he was seen while eating sweets before dinner - something he had forbidden his son to do except he or Amanda explicitly allowed it. After making sure all traces of his faux pas had been eliminated he turned to greet his older son.

"Greetings, Sybok," he acknowledged and lowered his gaze to the object Sybok held in his hands. "This is a nest, is it not?" he asked. He knew the answer to the question but chose to indulge his son in giving him a chance to prove his knowledge. He was secretly grateful for anything that piqued Sybok's interest since the boy often appeared lethargic and oblivious to his surroundings - except when Spock was near.

His tactics worked for his son's eyes lit up. "Yes, Father. It is a c'hik's nest to be specific. We found it in an abandoned burrow. We will give a lecture about this animal tomorrow in S'haile Serit's biology class."

"Indeed? The idea to provide physical presentation material has merit," Sarek answered approvingly.

Sybok had difficulties to suppress his joy about the direct praise. Sarek seemed to be in a good mood today if his guard was down like this. He prevented the smile that was about to appear on his face and bowed lightly instead. "Your praise honours me, Father," he replied formally. "I suggested going into the desert and looking for presentation material."

Sarek suppressed the feeling of dismay. The boy had begun his kas'wan training three months earlier - successful so far. He had also returned unharmed, so there was no need to feel concern. Nevertheless, he had still not allowed his son to roam the desert unprotected. Sybok obviously overestimated his skills. Sarek folded his hands behind his back and looked down at the child. The boy instantly recognized the 'admonishment' stance Sarek had taken and the gleam in his eyes disappeared. The boy's retreat behind his inner walls was not lost on his father but there was no other possibility. Disobedience had been displayed and must be dealt with.  

"Your intention was meant well and it did provide a desirable result, son. However, you know that you are not to go into the desert on your own, Sybok. How do you explain your failure at obedience?"

Sybok lowered his head. "But I was not alone, Father," the boy answered carefully and glanced up just to meet the disapproving gaze of his father.

"You are deliberately missing the point, Sybok. The company of someone your age is in no way suitable to provide adequate protection. For both of you, I might add."

"But Sanat agreed to my proposal," Sybok tried to defend himself.

"Indeed," Sarek granted, "and I firmly believe his father will question his judgment as well since both of you acted out of an impulse and made a very questionable decision that could have endangered your lives instead of asking for assistance."

"I could not ask your assistance, Father. You were not at home."

Sarek raised an eyebrow. "That is not an adequate explanation," he chided. "How long did you know you had to prepare the lecture?"

"Two days," Sybok admitted and shifted his weight uneasily.

Sarek nodded. "Just as I suspected. Would you not agree that this amount of time would have been sufficient to ask my assistance?"

Sybok nodded and fidgeted again. "Please answer," he heard his father's request and briefly met the adult's gaze before studying the floor again.  "Yes, Father. I ask forgiveness."

Sarek nodded. "Mistakes are only useless when one doesn't learn from the experience. This serves as a good example for what to avoid in the future. I would advise you to plan your preparations more carefully. I take it such an occasion will not arise again," Sarek said and lifted his son's chin with a finger so that the boy had to look him in the eyes.

Sybok swallowed dryly but didn't avert his gaze. "Yes, Father," he answered dutifully. 

Sarek nodded. "Bring your prize outside now, Sybok-kam. It is soiling the floor," he said a tad more gently and observed the bits of straw and sand grains crumbling from the nest.

"Of course, Father," Sybok acknowledged and left the kitchen, careful not to lose more fur and grass from the nest.

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Amanda winced when the muscles in her shoulders and neck protested after being held in one position for too long. She stretched and felt the cramps ease. Slumping in her chair she rubbed her burning eyes and then cast a bleary gaze at the pads she had not corrected yet. There weren't many of them left but she decided to call it a night. She switched off the desk light and stood. Her gaze swept through the room and she started lightly when it fell on her sleeping son. He had been so quiet that she had almost forgotten about him. An uneasy feeling spread through her. He was definitely sleeping too long now. Concerned she got up and knelt beside the child. Did he show a darker shade of green on his face? She felt for his forehead and was instantly alert when she felt the unusual heat emanating from his skin. His normal temperature was higher than that of a human child but this was definitely not normal. He must have a fever.

She drew back the blanket and found his jumpsuit being all wet from his hips to his feet. Then she saw the rash at his neck. Deep green circles marked his soft skin and disappeared below the collar of his shirt. Alerted she drew back the sleeves of the shirt and found the same dark circles on his arms. She shook him gently but Spock didn't stir. She called him and scooped him up but he showed no reaction. With his head lying on her shoulder she could hear his deep laboured breathing now and finally panic set in. She jumped up. "Sarek!" she called while rushing out of the room.

She called him twice on her way to the kitchen and he came to meet her in the hall, concerned by her panicked tone of voice. He tensed instantly when he saw Amanda's eyes wide and brimmed with tears and their son lying motionless in her arms. "What happened?" he asked, keeping his voice deliberately even to prevent frightening his wife further by showing his own concern.

"I don't know. He has a fever and rash and he's all wetted himself despite the diapers. Oh Sarek, he won't wake up," Amanda answered with a quivering voice and finally tears slid down her cheeks.

Sarek took the child from her arms and instantly noticed the high temperature of the small body. He touched the meld points of the baby and tried to assess Spock's condition. But the mind of the child was hazed with fever and Sarek couldn't find an access point to his son's metabolism to examine the reason for the elevated temperature. He was also unable to bring the boy back to consciousness. When realizing he was completely incapable of improving the child's condition he only hesitated a split second before making a decision.

Amanda watched the two of them with her hands pressed to her mouth, her whole body frozen in shock. She tried to suppress a sob when Sarek looked up and she didn't see reassurance in eyes. Why didn't he tell her everything would be alright?  "Sarek?" she whispered, her voice shaky.

For an instant he seemed not to know what to do, but then he snapped to action. "We are going to the hospital. Get a blanket. I will get the flitter." Amanda nodded and set off to Spock's room. Sarek leaned his son against his shoulder and opened the front door. He almost ran headlong into his father who had been approaching the house.

Skon stopped short when face to face with his son. He directly assessed the situation by the look in Sarek's face and the limp child in his arms. He took a deep breath. "What happened?" he asked.

Sarek blinked and then went past him. "We do not know yet. We will bring him to the hospital," he said over his shoulder. Then he seemed to remember something and turned. "Will you please stay here with Sybok?" They couldn't leave the boy alone in a situation like this.

Skon nodded. "Of course." He went inside and saw Amanda rushing out of Spock's room, a blanket in her hands. In her haste she slipped on the tiled floor and he quickly caught her arm to prevent her fall. A storm of emotions washed over him when he touched her. He felt her desperation and fear for Spock's life and some part of him responded in kind and drowned out the unpleasant feeling of being overwhelmed by the emotions of someone else. He steadied her. "Calm yourself, child," he said, compassion shining in his eyes.

Amanda's eyes flowed over with tears and she sobbed. "It's really bad this time," she said, stifling another sob.

"Take a deep breath," Skon advised. "You will not help your son if you injure yourself in your haste."  Amanda grabbed Skon's arm and squeezed tightly, concentrating on mastering her panic. Then she looked up into his soothing and reassuring eyes. "Do not be scared. Your husband is by your side," he said, giving all the support a Vulcan could lend. She gave his arm another squeeze and hurried out the door. Seconds later the flitter lifted off.

Sybok squatted on the terrace - frozen; the nest still in his hands. Through the glass door he watched the drama unfolding in the hall, unable to react or even get up. Something was wrong with Spock. He watched how Sarek tried to bring his brother back to consciousness. But he failed and judged by the desperation of Amanda and his father's open concern Spock's condition must be bad. He swallowed dryly. He knew Sock's health was always fragile. A cold feeling washed down his back, then centred in his chest. What if his brother died?

When Sarek ran outside and Amanda disappeared in Spock's room Sybok closed his eyes, hoping against all odds that everything would be all right when he opened them again. But when he dared a glimpse he saw Amanda rushing to the door, a blanket in her arms. He averted his gaze and froze again, squatting motionless and not even feeling the increasing discomfort caused by the chilling desert night. From his position he had a good look under the couch and saw an upturned plate lying on the tiles, clearly outlined by the light from the kitchen. The picture of the remaining cookies on the plate flashed in his mind. Neither he nor Sanat had eaten them. What if Spock …? The cold in his chest gripped his throat, taking his breath away. He had been admonished several times not to leave food where Spock could reach it. 'But it was an accident,' his mind cried. He had been so exited about going into the desert again that he had forgotten to bring the plate with the cookies back to the kitchen and place it out of Spock's reach. He tried to calm himself, tried to tell his fear that his carelessness must not be the cause for his brother's condition. But he didn't succeed in making himself believe that. Spock had surely dragged the plate from the tray and had eaten the cookies. What other cause could there be for the plate lying under the couch and not being on the tray anymore? The nest dropped out of his hands when he got up in slow motion. He entered the house and didn't even hear the front door close.

As if closing in to a dangerous animal he neared the couch and sank to his knees beside it. Against all odds he used his entire mental energy to will the cookies to lie under the plate untouched.  His fingers shivered lightly when he lifted the plate. He closed his eyes when he saw the cookies were gone. There was hardly any doubt now. Spock must have eaten them and this was the cause for his condition. Spock would die and it would be his fault. He had murdered his brother. The thoughts chased his mind into the darkest corner of consciousness. He dropped the edge of the plate when he heard his grandfather's voice close by.

Skon frowned and called the boy again who had frozen after retracting his arm from under the couch as if he had touched glowing iron. The child didn't turn, nor did he acknowledge his presence in any other way. What was the matter with the boy? "What is it, child?" Skon asked and got to his knees grabbing Sybok's shoulders to turn him around. The boy's eyes shone with only poorly controlled fear.

Sybok swallowed forcefully and looked at his grandfather, his throat too dry to speak. He wanted to explain the situation but his tongue formed other words when he finally croaked, "It was an accident. I didn't want this to happen."

Skon's eyes showed confusion. "I do not understand child. Please explain. What was an accident?"

Sybok's lips quivered and he averted his gaze. Skon reached for the chin of the boy and tilted his face upwards again. A wave of regret, fear and guilt emanated from Sybok's mind. The boy formed a connection to show what he could not tell with words. Skon saw the cookies and the picture of the plate lying under the couch - empty. He breathed deeply when his mind made the connection to Spock's condition. Now was not the time to admonish the child for leaving possibly harmful foods where Spock could reach them. Sarek would have to deal with the error of his eldest son later. He transmitted comfort for now to ease the child's impending break down. "Come," Skon said gently. "We must tell the medics what could have caused your brother's illness. They will be able to help him faster then."  Sybok looked at him with a glint of hope in his eyes and Skon dragged the boy gently to his feet and they both hurried to the com station in Sarek's study.

 ~*~

The lights of other flitters shot by in a blur while Sarek maneuvered his vehicle through the traffic as fast as possible. Unconsciously Amanda rocked the small bundle in her arms gently and talked to the baby, calming herself rather than the unconscious child. Sarek looked over to her and send her a calming impulse over the bond. But she didn't seem to be aware of his presence and stared blindly out of the window, holding the baby to her chest, tight.

The ride to the hospital seemed to take an eternity. When they arrived Sarek noticed with dismay that they couldn't land in front of the emergency entry but had to take the parking lot. As soon as the engines of the flitter died down he reached for his son. "Give him to me," he demanded. "I will be faster."

Only very reluctantly Amanda loosened her hold on the child and resisted the urge to crawl after Sarek to get out at the driver's seat just to stay near her son. As soon as Sarek was free from the car he broke into a dead run to reach the hospital as fast as he could. Amanda just slammed the door on her side of the flitter and took after him without bothering to close the door on the pilot's side or lock the vehicle. Totally out of breath from the run and fear she skidded around the corner to the entry of the emergency room and saw a group of medics clustered around a stretcher and Sarek standing close by, talking to them.  She reached the group when the medics set the stretcher in motion. She and Sarek kept up while the med team rushed the boy to a treatment room. They wanted to follow inside but a nurse held them at bay. Sarek had to grab Amanda's arms to prevent her from following her son. She leaned against his grip and he turned her to him, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Stay here with me, Amanda. The doctors will help him now."

"But I have to…" she started and tried to twist from his hold.

He tightened his grip momentarily, catching her attention so that she looked at him. "No," he said gently but firmly, then his expression grew soft when he saw her teary eyes. He loosened one hand and stroked over the side of her face. "You cannot help him now. You would only be in the way."

Her resistance vanished. "But I'm his mother. I must be with him," Amanda said, the tears now flowing freely. "He's just a baby," she continued, but stopped when her voice was swallowed by a sob. Sarek took a second to decide what to do. After all they were in public. But finally he gave in to the urge to draw his wife into his arms and lend comfort to her. The cause was sufficient and it would be illogical for him to deny the needs of his human wife. Or so he told himself when he enclosed her in his arms. She sobbed into his chest and then turned her head sideways so that she could look into the treatment room while clinging to him. Sarek felt her shivering through the touch and sent soothing impulses over the bond while he gently stroked her back and hair. She calmed somewhat from the physical touch but both remained tense and she continued to hold his hand when they finally broke the embrace. A movement at the elevators caught their attention.

Amanda took a relieved breath when she saw Dr. Corrigan hurrying over to them. No one else knew Spock's physiology as well as Daniel. After all his advanced method of DNA blending had made Spock's existence possible in the first place. Obviously he had been at home when being paged and had beamed over immediately for he was still wearing his civilian clothing. Amanda released Sarek's hand and met the doctor half way to the elevators. "Daniel!" she exclaimed, fresh tears running down her cheeks. "I'm so glad you came."

Daniel took her hands and squeezed them lightly. "Amanda, what went wrong?" he asked, while leading her back to Sarek. "Sarek?" he acknowledged and asked him at the same time.

Sarek folded his hands behind his back, presenting an impassive face towards the human. "Spock has a rash and high fever. He is unconscious. We do not know what caused his condition."

"Nothing out of the ordinary today?" Daniel asked.

Amanda shook her head. "No, he was fine. He played with his brother and afterwards he had a nap. I thought he was just tired. But when he didn't wake this evening I checked on him," she took a deep breath to suppress another sob. "He had fever and the rash. He had wetted himself but wouldn't wake up."

Daniel nodded, his mind carefully cataloging the symptoms. "Has he eaten?"

"Yes. He had mid-meal and I gave him a piece of zwieback this afternoon," Amanda replied. "I don't understand this. I only used foodstuffs that are not dangerous for him," she said desperately.

Daniel pursed his lips. "Okay, let me examine him. Please go to the waiting room, I will come to you as soon as possible," he said. Sarek nodded and Daniel disappeared in the treatment room.

"What's the story?" Daniel asked an assistant doctor when he swept into the room. A nurse handed him an overall and he put it on while listening.

"Human/Vulcan hybrid, male, age…" The assistant started her report but Daniel waved her off.

"Skip that. I know this patient. Give me some important data."

"The child is unconscious for an unknown amount of time. At least two hours, though. Blood pressure and pulse low. Temperature four degrees above the norm, extensive fluid loss," the assistant continued while Daniel examined the rash and felt the fever of the boy. He noticed the child was breathing heavily. "Give him saline infusions to compensate the fluid loss," he advised while piecing the symptoms together to a clinical picture. "Blood sugar readings?" he asked when his mind formed a suspicion.

In this instant a nurse entered the treatment room. "We got a call from the grandfather of this child. He says the boy ate kreyla," she said, her expression showing she didn't know why this information would be important. Daniel dismissed her with a nod, adding another piece to the puzzle.

"Those are harmless cookies," the assistant remarked.

"They're harmless for Humans and Vulcans. But their harmlessness for a hybrid is not proven. kreyla cookies contain high amounts of sugar, some of them natural, some refined," he explained.

"But even if he did have some he shouldn't be reacting that strong and with those symptoms," the assistant remarked.

Daniel glanced at her. "This is not a normal child. The reactions of his metabolism are always unpredictable - so theoretically he could react very strongly. Where are my blood sugar readings?"

"Blood sugar 210 mg pro decilitre," a nurse answered tersely.

Daniel nodded and bent down to the child's mouth. His suspicions were confirmed when he smelled the acetone like breath of the boy. "That's it," he said. "We have the equivalent of a keto-acidosis here, people. Prepare more saline infusions and a dose of insulin," he ordered. "We have to get that blood sugar down," he murmured almost to himself. When the infusions were set he took a look at the rash. He categorized it as skin reaction that could originate from another ingredient of kreyla biscuits. It was not severe and could be treated later. The Insulin had to work first. His gaze remained glued to the readings but they didn't change. "C'mon," he murmured but the Insulin showed no effect. In fact, the readings dropped further. The boy showed no reaction after a dose of the Vulcan equivalent to Insulin either. "All right, plan B," Daniel said through clenched teeth. The boy was going critical now. "We have to do dialysis. Prepare the unit."

Several nurses rushed away to bring the proper equipment while Daniel and the assistant prepared the child for the procedure. Shortly after the blood of the boy ran through a small needle in his arm to the purification unit and left the machine to be lead back to the body in cleaned state. "Pulse and blood pressure rising," the assistant read from the display.

"Good," Daniel said when he injected the child with a drug against the fever. All they could do now was waiting for the purification process to be entirely successful. Daniel stroked a strand of damp black hair away from the boy's forehead and sighed. Spock was truly unique. No one could ever foresee how the metabolism of this child would react to medication and food and, yes, everything else in his surroundings. "Gimme the blood sugar readings again," he demanded after a while.

"Blood sugar 110 mg pro decilitre and dropping," the nurse announced.

"Good boy," Daniel breathed and relaxed. "Whew," he said, then stroked over the baby's cheek again that showed a much healthier colour than before. He waited a few minutes and then he checked the readings. "Okay, he's stable for now. Proceed with the dialysis and call me immediately if his condition changes. I will see his parents now."

The assistant nodded. "Shall I make a note in his file that he is diabetic?"

Daniel shook his head. "No, not yet. He hasn't shown that reaction to sugar before. It could be something in the kreyla biscuits he ate – if that was the true cause of this." He pursed his lips. "We would need a sample to run some tests. Just record the symptoms and make a note to the similarity to diabetes." The assistant nodded and Daniel left the treatment room.

~*~

Sarek watched Amanda pacing the waiting room. Her gaze switched nervously between the scenery outside and the door and she seemed to be ready to go back to the treatment room at once. He had needed some time to convince her to come to this room when the treatment room had been closed and they couldn't see anything anyway. She had neither spoken nor accepted a cup of hot tea as long as they were here, although, she rubbed her upper arms from time to time as if she were cold. For the umpteenth time her gaze wandered to the transparent upper parts of the waiting room doors to see if the treatment room had been re-opened. His gaze followed hers quickly when she stopped pacing and frowned. He stood and unconsciously mirrored his wife's expression when he saw his father coming down the corridor, with Sybok at his side. Skon spotted them and said something to Sybok. The boy seemed to falter and hesitate a split second when he saw Sarek and Amanda, but then he followed his grandfather. Sarek looked at Amanda and noticed her frown intensified when she saw Sybok walking behind Skon almost as if seeking shelter behind the imposing adult.

Skon opened the door and entered, Sybok closely behind him. He nodded to Amanda, then addressed Sarek. "How is Spock's condition?"

"We do not know yet," Sarek replied. "Why are you here, Father? Did you not agree to stay at home with Sybok until we come back?"

"Affirmative," Skon confirmed and then he reached into the pocket of his robe. "However, I thought it to be best to give these samples to the medics," he answered and took out a small bag with kreyla biscuits.

Sarek frowned. "Explain," he demanded. Amanda looked confused. She hadn't given those cookies to Spock. Sybok seemed to disappear further behind his grandfather but Skon carefully dragged him forward. "Your son needs to tell you something," he said and gently squeezed the boy's shoulder.

"I didn't mean to, it was an accident," Sybok said, his voice barely audible.

 "What?" Amanda asked but Sarek lifted a hand. "What was an accident Sybok? Please specify," she demanded.

Sybok looked at the floor. "I didn't put the plate away," he said. "Spock must have found the cookies." His voice faltered with the last words.

Amanda's eyes opened wide. "You forgot what?!" She was furious and made several steps in the boy's direction.

Sybok flinched and hid behind Skon while Sarek grasped Amanda's wrist, effectively stopping her forward motion. He turned her halfway towards him. "What does he mean Amanda? I saw only glasses in the living room. I demand an explanation."

Amanda ran a hand over her face. "I gave him a couple of cookies for Sanat and himself while they were studying. Later I briefly left Spock alone in the study while answering the door. He woke up while I was gone and the boys were outside. That must have been when he got the cookies."

"I do not understand. There was no plate," Sarek said, facing his son again.

"It lay under the couch," Skon answered for his grandson. "It would seem Spock left it there after retrieving the cookies."

Amanda freed herself from Sarek's grip and walked to the window, running her hands through her hair in an agitated gesture. "I can't believe it Sybok," she said, then repeated much louder. "I can't believe it. You have been told numerous times…" She interrupted herself when Sarek send her a sharp impulse through the bond.

"It is done, Amanda. Accusations do not change Spock's condition," he said aloud.

She whirled and her eyes flashed blue fire. "What? Don't you realize which consequences this could have? Don't you care?"

Sarek returned her gaze and endured the flames of her ire that were leaking through the bond. He ignored the painful impact her words had on him and spoke with a low and calm voice. "The issue can be dealt with later," he said, still looking at her but addressing Sybok also. Amanda exhaled with forced calmness and lifted her chin defiantly, clearly signalling the discussion was not finished, only postponed. Then she turned away from them. Sarek's gaze fell on his son who cast his gaze downward. He looked up when Skon held out the bag with the biscuits.

"It would be wise to give those to the medics now," the elder Vulcan remarked.

Sarek nodded, "Of course." He walked to the door but turned after the first initial steps. He cast a glance at Amanda's rigid back, her anger radiating from her like waves in a pond. "Your presence is no longer required. I believe it is of common interest if you do not delay your departure further," he said to his father, hoping he would understand that it was better for all involved to give Amanda time to calm herself.

Skon nodded. "I will take Sybok home with me," he answered.

Sarek nodded and his father followed him to the door together with Sybok. "Amanda," Skon acknowledged when he left the room.

"I'll see you later," she whispered tonelessly, still facing the window. She closed her eyes when the Vulcans had left the room. Impatiently she rubbed a hand over her forehead. Reason, ire and guilt were tearing at her, trying to drag her in three directions at the same time. It was Sybok's fault he had forgotten about the cookies. But it had been wrong of her to allow the boys to eat in the living room. She heard the door opening and the sound of Sarek's familiar steps, coming closer. He stopped beside her and both watched the parking lot below.

Sarek spoke when Sybok and Skon came into view on their way back to the air car. "Sybok shall be admonished for his lack of attention," he stated calmly. "However, he is not the only one who neglected his duties."

Amanda's eyes met his, her irritation winning the upper hand. "What are you implying? That this is all my fault? Yes, I left Spock for a brief time, so what? I was alone at home with you at work as always. How about you staying at home for once and trying to watch the kids all the time while going after your daily duties? If you had ever tried you'd know that there are things to do for which you have to leave the children alone like answering the phone or the door. What am I supposed to do? Spock is a baby, Sarek. It's impossible to watch him all the time. The phrase 'if I had' is not important now. Don't you see that? I just didn't. And no, you don't need to give me that look , it is the truth," she answered, her voice rising with every sentence. "I made a mistake but your son did also. Sybok has been told not to leave food in Spock's reach."

"That is true, but Sybok should not have been permitted to eat in the living room, on the low table, to begin with," he added.

"Will you stop that please?" Amanda almost shouted when the feeling of guilt worsened because Sarek was right. She shouldn't have allowed the boys to eat in the living room where Spock could reach the food.

"Stop what?" Sarek asked. "I am merely stating facts."

"No, you make it worse for me," she retorted. "Don't you think it is already bad enough that our son has to be rushed to the emergency room with no one knowing if he'll ever wake up…" Her voice faltered and she closed her eyes to hold back the tears. Their argument was interrupted when the door to the waiting room opened and Dr. Corrigan entered. "Daniel," Amanda exclaimed and rushed to him, trying to read information about Spock's condition in his face. Sarek followed her with more sedate steps.

Daniel took Amanda's hands and squeezed them lightly. "He's out of danger, Amanda."

Amanda's eyes closed and tears of relief leaked through between her lashes, rolling slowly down her cheeks. She freed one hand and covered her face, wiping away the wet stains. Even Sarek released a relieved breath upon hearing his son's condition was not life threatening any more. "Can we see him?" Amanda asked when she had collected herself.

Daniel regarded her carefully. He understood her need to see the child. But he expected she would not leave Spock's bedside once she was with him. But he needed to talk to her as well as Sarek. Besides, he preferred to give the boy some time so that his condition could improve further during the talk to his parents. His continuing unconsciousness would just frighten Amanda unnecessarily. "Soon," he promised and saw the disappointment in Amanda's eyes. "Soon," he repeated and squeezed her hand lightly. "Don't worry. He's in good hands. Will you two please follow me to my office?"

"Of course, Dr. Corrigan," Sarek answered for them. He regretted being unable to solve the argument with Amanda but the issue had to wait. She gave him an irritated look, clearly indicating she had expected him to enforce her wish to see Spock first. He could see she was upset but he didn't give an explanation for his readiness to follow the doctor's request.

Daniel caught the angry expression in Amanda's eyes and his gaze switched to Sarek whose face was devoid of emotion. He felt uncomfortable but was convinced that whatever problem existed between them would have to be solved in private. He led them out into the corridor and headed towards his office. After they had reached their destination Daniel called up the information about Spock's symptoms. Amanda kneaded her hands nervously, resisting the urge to ask about her son while Daniel's eyes flew over the updated information displayed on the screen. Amanda cast a glance at Sarek but his face remained impassive. Finally Daniel folded his hands on the table.

"Well, as it seems Spock had an allergic reaction to the k'hrath'a herbs in the kreyla. This caused the rash. It's not a dangerous reaction, however. What caused the severe problem were pollutions on the natural sugar molecules added to the cookies." He glanced at Amanda. "You have altered the recipe?"

Amanda swallowed dryly. "Yes, I added honey from the shy'ion bees," she answered, glancing at Sarek. "Sunel sent it last week." She returned her gaze to Daniel. "Sunel takes care of the mountain estate. He sent us a sample of the autumn honey harvest. I thought it was a good idea to add it to the cookies. They weren't meant for Spock anyway."

Daniel nodded. "Well, as it seems the hormones that Spock's body produces are not able to transect these special sugar molecules into the cells of his body as is the normal process. Thus the sugar remains in the blood. If the body is not able to burn sugar in order to produce energy it starts to burn fat. This produces so called Kenton-molecules. Those molecules over-acidify the blood…" He stopped when Amanda lifted a hand.

"Daniel, I'm grateful you go into such detail about the cause of this but, please, I must know what's wrong with him," she said with a pleading look.

Daniel smiled lightly. "I'm coming to that just now, Amanda."

Amanda breathed deeply but nodded.

"All right, as I said, the keton molecules over-acidify the blood. The body tries to compensate through deep breathing and increased urinating."

Amanda nodded, remembering the sound of laboured breathing and the wet jumpsuit when she first discovered something was wrong with Spock.

"The breath smells like acetone if such a condition occurs," Daniel continued

"What is the result of the symptoms you describe?" Sarek asked.

Daniel cast him a mild glance. It surprised him that Sarek spoke up even if he was just about to explain the condition of the child. Such impatience was not part of Sarek's usual repertoire of behaviours. "The condition your son suffered resembles a so called keto-acidosis that occurs with patients suffering diabetes Type 1," Daniel answered.

"I am not familiar with the term. Please explain," Sarek said when the sharp intake of breath from Amanda caught his attention.

"Sugar shock," she answered but merely acknowledging the fact rather than addressing her husband. She cast him a quick glance. "Aunt Rachel was diabetic," she said, explaining her knowledge about this condition briefly. Then her attention switched back to Daniel. "Is Spock diabetic?" she asked, anxious to hear the answer.

Daniel shook his head. "No, I don't think so. It rather seems to me that his body is not able to process all sorts of sugar molecules. We have excluded the sweetening substances he didn't react to in a negative way before. So the only possibility is the natural sugar from the honey. As I said, it was polluted with animal protein from the insects that collected it. There will be further studies necessary but there is an 89 % chance of this being the cause for Spock's reaction."

"Which treatment do you propose?" Sarek asked.

"He has been given infusions to re-balance liquid and mineral levels and we did dialyses to filter out the superfluous sugar and ease the acid effect. He is doing better now although he's still unconscious. But he will be fine in a few hours," he added when he saw the alert in Amanda's eyes. "I wish to keep him in the hospital and monitor him until tomorrow, though. By this time we should have made sure he didn't suffer any ill after-effects."

Amanda nodded, staring down at her hands. Now that the feeling of concern had eased to a tolerable level guilt consumed her – guilt about not having watched Spock properly, about her reaction to Sybok's confession, yes even guilt about baking those damned cookies at all. If Sarek caught on her thoughts he didn't let her know. His gaze remained focussed on Daniel and the bond remained silent.

Daniel was watching them calmly, feeling the tension between them. He cleared his throat softly. "Um, I take it, it was an accident that Spock had access to food not tested for him?"

"Of course it was," Sarek said, his eyes flashing in a defensive manner. "The issue will be dealt with privately."

Was there a twitch of annoyance in his voice? No matter. A threat to Spock's health didn't allow room for privacy seal of this family's life. Daniel leaned forward in his seat. "You know it is not my intention to interfere with your private family matters, Sarek. But in the interest of your son I must strongly insist that Spock's diet is to be taken very seriously. I told you that when you first took him home and I meant it. Please be very cautious with food you give him and do not leave any food items in his range. Next time his condition might not be able to be treated anymore. Is that understood?"

Sarek lifted his chin defiantly but Amanda laid a hand on his thigh. "Please, Daniel. Don't you think it's already bad enough this happened? You don't need to remind us."

"I know this is hard and you. And I know it is difficult to constantly watch a child during this age, Amanda. Accidents like this one can happen. But really, they shouldn't. Spock's health is too fragile," Daniel answered. He watched the couple in front of him. He could see that he was very hard on them judged by Sarek's rigid posture and Amanda's open remorse but he felt they needed to be faced with the brutal fact again that the reactions of Spock's unique physiology were absolutely unpredictable and just the slightest mistake could lead to his death. Even the most casual food could mean too great a risk to him. He had to be treated far more carefully than any other child.

"I wish to see him now," Amanda said, ignoring the last comment.

Daniel stood. "Of course," he answered. Admonishments were never easy to take. Especially not for adults. They would need time to understand and adjust to the situation of having a hybrid child. He had no doubt that they would but for today the limit of endurance had already been exceeded. He led the couple to the intensive care section where Spock had been brought during the talks.

Amanda rushed to Spock's bedside as soon as they entered the room. Sarek followed her at an even pace, his face calm and his hands clasped behind his back. Having reached the bed Amanda's eyes were brimmed with tears. Spock looked so small, so pale, not the lively child she was used to seeing. Carefully she touched his cheek but he didn't stir. Her gaze rose to the monitors above the bed – then switched to Daniel. The medic approached the bed and took a look at the readings. He nodded encouragingly to Amanda when he changed a setting on the monitors. Amanda's gaze fell back to her son and she noticed with relief that the rash had begun to fade already. She studied the dialysis ducts that were still drawing blood from Spock's one arm and inserting it into the other after cleaning.

'My sweet baby. I'm so sorry,' she thought bitterly. Again the dark side of Spock's uniqueness had caught up with their life that had just settled into a comfortable routine. She withdrew her hand to wipe away a tear that slid down her cheek. She stared at the floor to regain her composure and saw Sarek's foot out of the corner of her eye. He didn't make a move to support her neither physically nor mentally and she was sure it was not Daniel's presence that made him keep his distance to her. Even the bond remained silent except for the constant low humming indicating its presence. For now she had to deal with her feelings alone – sometimes the price of being married to a Vulcan – and this Vulcan in particular. A twitch of irrational anger shot through her that he could just cut himself off from her. A hand appeared in her range of vision and she gratefully took the tissue Daniel was offering. She wiped away the tears before lifting her gaze to him. He gave her a half smile.

"Don't worry. The readings look good. As soon as the dialysis is finished he will be better and wake up soon," he said.

"Thank you," Amanda answered and tried to smile.

"Do you wish to stay for the night?" he asked gently.

"That is unnecessary," Sarek said, earning a sharp glance from Amanda. He ignored the ire in her eyes and continued, "Spock is in good care and there are still urgent matters that have to be dealt with at home."

Amanda knew what he was hinting at. She knew it had been wrong to be so hard on Sybok but she didn't wish to deal with that now. "I don't care if it is not necessary," she answered, refusing his wishes as well as eye contact while she spoke.  // The issues we have to deal with won't run away, // she added through the bond.

// It is illogical to postpone uncomfortable talks, // Sarek answered.

// I need time, I just can't right now… // She stopped the flow of thoughts and faced Daniel instead. "I will stay," she said with a determined expression.

Daniel's gaze switched between Sarek and his wife when he found himself in the same awkward situation between both disagreeing parties for a second time this evening. He had never seen them at odds this way. Although Sarek didn't move a muscle his rigid posture and the small lines creasing his forehead spoke volumes of his irritation. 'Well, even Vulcan's get stressed out by matters concerning family,' he thought, studying Sarek again. He had seldom seen a Vulcan as closed up as Sarek but he had also long since learned to read the subtle signs of body language the man showed and knew how to tell when the Vulcan was troubled. Sarek had a curious way to deal with stress. It seemed the more concerned and irritated he got the more he closed himself off. He must be very disturbed right now if he even refused to comfort his wife. Daniel felt sorry for Amanda since it seemed she couldn't hope for her husband's support as long as the rift between them wasn't closed. But then again, he had no right to interfere. Whatever needed to be done to set things right between them had to be done privately. "I will see to it that a bed is brought in here for you to rest during the night," he said to Amanda.

"Thank you," she murmured and returned her attention to the child.

Daniel turned to Sarek and caught the Vulcan staring down at the child for the first time since they entered the room. Outwardly Sarek appeared calm, almost cold, but the brief twitch of a muscle in his face betrayed his concern. Daniel suppressed a sympathetic expression when Sarek lifted his gaze to him. The Vulcan wouldn't appreciate compassion. He was probably wondering why Daniel was not leaving. "I'll leave you alone now," Daniel said.

"Doctor," Sarek acknowledged and inclined his head. "Your service honours us."

Daniel resisted the urge to roll his eyes upon this Vulcan formality. "I come to serve," he replied instead and left.

Silence stretched between the two adults after Daniel had left. Only the low hum and occasional bleep of the machines filled the room. Amanda held her gaze focussed on Spock, although she knew Sarek was watching her. But she was not ready to talk. Not here, not now. Reading her rigid back as a sign of refusal to speak Sarek finally turned to leave the room. Amanda looked up when she heard him move behind her. Confusion caused a crack in her defences. He wasn't leaving now, was he? She knew his logic would tell him to go home but how could he leave his son alone after he had been in such danger before? How could he leave her alone now? "Where are you going?" she asked her tone half a threat.

He turned before leaving the room. "I will return home, Amanda," he answered a tad too casual for her taste.

Misinterpreting his tight controls she let her anger full reign and marched over to him. "You're not leaving now, Sarek," she hissed lowly, careful not to disturb Spock.

His gaze didn't waver. "There is no logic in staying here, Amanda. Spock is taken care of and he will recover."

She just blinked in confusion before finding her voice. "How can you be so cold? Spock's life has been in severe danger and you go home as if nothing happened. You did not even touch him. Don't you care?" She almost immediately knew she had said something wrong but her anger prevailed and she ignored the hurt flash in his eyes. His features hardened when her words increased the size of the wound her former accusation of him being careless had caused.

"It is of no consequence whether I stay or not," he answered, his voice a bit too cold to be even. "He is monitored and his condition is improving. To stay would be illogical."

Amanda nodded but more in a sarcastic way than agreeing with him. "So logic justifies that you leave me and Spock alone," she challenged.

Sarek's brows drew together subtly and his eyes got a distant look. He realized there was no rational speaking to her at the moment. But there was something else. "Spock is taken care of. There is nothing I can do here. To stay is your right and choice." He paused for some significant seconds. "But even though you chose not to I need to take care of our second child. He also requires our attention now, Amanda," he finally said, his voice sounding a bit tired.

When she didn't answer he left the room. It was too late when she realized her mistake and understood the meaning of his words that revealed part of his hurt. She refused to leave a son that was taken care of and accepted to leave Sybok alone with his grief although he needed her to speak with him. But how could she leave Spock now? He was a baby whereas Sybok was already undergoing adult training. She felt sorry for him but mustn't he need to learn to accept the consequences of his actions even if they were unpleasant? But then, he was just a boy, no matter the impending kas-wan. She felt torn and followed Sarek to the threshold.

"Sarek?" she called softly after him but his steps didn't slow, nor did he turn. She watched him until he disappeared at the end of the corridor, then she cast her eyes down and leaned her forehead against the door frame in a gesture of defeat. She had lost again. When the anger fell from her like a heavy weight she saw how unfair she had been. How could she accuse Sarek not to care? She of all knew best how much he cared for Spock - how much he cared for both of his sons. Anger had guided her tongue when she denied him the right of fatherly love she knew was there, carefully hidden under a layer of tight controls. Being told to be able to hide those feelings so well that one could assume they weren't there at all would have been a compliment for a Vulcan if said by anyone else but from her mouth it was the greatest hurt she could cause her husband since no one knew him better than she did. It had been a lie and a well aimed attempt to hurt him. She was ready to confess that - but could he not understand that this was just her way of pleading for his help and support during this time - a means to tell him what she could not yet phrase in other words? She would never go so far as to doubt their marriage but it would take some time to close the rift that actions on both sides had caused.

She suppressed the tears when she heard movement close by and stepped aside when a team of nurses rolled a bed into the room. When they left she drew up a chair to Spock's bed and sat heavily. Leaning one arm on the rail of the child's bed she reached for his head and stroked the soft black cap of hair, lending and drawing silent comfort by hers and from his presence.

~*~

Skon laid away the pad he had been reading when he heard the door bell announcing a visitor. He summoned the house maid to prepare tea before getting up to answer the door. As he had expected the visitor was his eldest son. Skon stepped back to let Sarek enter and both went back to the study in silence. Skon didn't ask about his grandson's condition. Sarek would tell him soon enough. He resumed his place and offered Sarek one of the other chairs. The house maid silently entered the room and placed a tray with tea on the low table between the chairs. Skon watched while his son poured the tea as was his duty as younger member of the family. He accepted the offered cup and both sipped the hot beverage in silence. Skon could see his son was troubled by the way the fingers of Sarek's free hand twitched occasionally. Patiently Skon waited for his son to speak. After ten minutes of silence he retrieved the pad from the low table and resumed his reading, knowing that his actions weren't perceived as an insult. It was an old habit between father and son. Skon would wait until Sarek was ready to speak. He knew the boy needed time to order his thoughts before asking his father's advice. After some minutes he glanced in Sarek's direction again and saw his son playing with the empty tea cup, a habit his mother had tried to purge from him to no avail. He resumed reading his pad until Sarek's soft voice broke the silence.

"Your suspicion about the kreyla biscuits has been confirmed by the medics. Spock's condition was similar to a sugar shock in humans. It leads to unconsciousness and eventually to a coma or death if not treated. Fortunately, Spock's condition has improved by now."

Without looking at Sarek Skon placed the pad back on the table and reached for his tea. He sipped the tea and took his time to set the cup back on the table. Then he folded his hands in his lap. "Will he and Amanda leave the hospital tomorrow?"

"Yes. Dr. Corrigan wishes to monitor Spock during the night. If they are sure he did not suffer any ill after effects he will be released tomorrow," Sarek confirmed and leaned back in the chair. He didn't need to ask why Skon knew that Amanda was still in the hospital. It was the logical conclusion from the fact that she wasn't with him - although there was more to it than the obvious reason that she wished to remain with her son. A movement on the couch in the far corner of the room drew his attention. His eyes focussed on the blanket and the small figure lying between the thick cushions. Silently he got up and approached the couch. The light from the reading place softly illuminated the features of his first born son. The boy was asleep and didn't stir when his father squatted down beside the couch and adjusted the blanket. He started slightly when he heard Skon's voice behind him.

"The child was quite upset. I had to place him in a light sleep trance so that he was able to rest."

Sarek nodded. "The cause was sufficient," he murmured. Without turning he could almost see the questioning expression on his father's face.

"Which cause would that be, my son? His lack of control from being distraught, or his being distraught due to his guilt?"

Sarek remained quiet for some seconds. "I do not blame him," he answered and rubbed a weary hand over his eyes. "The question of guilt is irrelevant. What is done cannot be undone."

"Agreed," Skon said. "But it is not irrelevant to examine the facts that led to these unfortunate circumstances to avoid that they occur again, is it?"

Sarek got up and nodded. He folded his hands behind his back and wandered to his chair. "It is not irrelevant. However, my attempts to examine the circumstances were not met with approval so far," he answered when resuming his seat.

"I see," Skon said, understanding the implied information. "Eventually they will. It was to be expected that Amanda is upset right now. She will calm as soon as Spock's condition has returned to normal.

"Do you attribute her reaction to her human nature?" Sarek asked.

Skon tilted his head somewhat. For an instant he saw not the adult son but the little boy again, hair unruly, pants covered with dust from the hills in the desert he had roamed with his best friend - against his father's wishes of course. Now Sarek would have to deal with the consequences of his son's actions – and that of his wife. From old experience he knew this was not an easy task. "Do you remember when you injured yourself in the desert shortly after your sixth naming day?"

Sarek raised an eyebrow in confusion about the change in topic. "Of course I do," he answered when it dawned on him what his father was about to tell him.

"You went where you were not supposed to go. Your mother had reservations to let you go into the desert but I allowed it, trusting that you would do as you had been told and stay away from the steep hills."

"An analogy, Father?" Sarek asked.

"An example," Skon answered. "When you injured yourself your mother blamed me for your condition. However, that was not entirely correct. I delivered the cause but was not at fault for the consequences. I should have accompanied you or forbid you to go. That you added ill judgement to my error caused your injury."

"I know," Sarek answered. "It was not my intention to blame Amanda or Sybok for what happened to Spock. It was a chain of unfortunate events. Blame is illogical. It is important to learn from the mistake and see to it that it does not occur again."

"Indeed son. But Sybok believes he is blamed for what happened -- as Amanda believes she is," Skon reminded him gently. "You should not disregard their perspective."

Sarek got up and paced slowly. "Yes, I do believe they blame themselves," he answered and stopped at the window to look into the garden bathed in T'Kuht's pale light. He folded his hands behind his back.

"You were not able to resolve the misunderstanding then." Skon stated matter-of-factly. Sarek didn't answer but again his fingers twitched almost imperceptibly. 'The issue must sit deeper than first examination allows us to see then,' Skon thought. "Whatever has been said Sarek-kam, remember that the concern was still fresh and allowed little room for careful consideration - not only a human trait."

Sarek turned and regarded his father who held his gaze calmly. He was obviously speaking of his own personal experiences. "Logic tends to falter as far as family is concerned," Skon added.

Sarek was surprised to hear his father speaking that way. To him Skon had been the epitome of Vulcan, his logic always flawless and his advice crystal clear and highly valued. This situation was no exception. But what was Skon implying? That one cannot depend on logic when dealing with family? He had attributed the difficulties in connecting family and logic to his own inability to apply the tool to his family life properly. What if it was not his fault, but simply impossible? "What shall I do, Father?"

Sarek left his father's house with the light of morning glow. For now he had left Sybok with his parents and it was agreed that he would return later in the morning to take his son home. But first he had to follow his father's advice. Shortly after his flitter circled the parking lot of the Shi'kahr hospital again. He found the room his son stayed in by memory and was surprised to find Dr. Corrigan beside the bed. The Human turned and for a moment he seemed to be astonished as if he hadn't expected Sarek to come back. Recovering quickly, though, he smiled and therefore eased Sarek's concern regarding Spock's condition. Daniel laid a finger to his lips, giving the Vulcan to understand to be silent. Sarek nodded and went further into the room. He spotted Amanda on the bed that had been moved as close to the child's bed as was permitted - she was sound asleep. His attention was drawn back to the bed of his son when he heard the monitoring machines being switched off. He stepped closer to the bed and watched while Daniel covered the child with a blanket. The boy stirred lightly but didn't wake up. Daniel caught Sarek's gaze and waved him outside. They walked a few steps and stopped by a group of visitor chairs. Daniel motioned for Sarek to sit and took a seat opposite him. "I have good news, Sarek. Spock is doing much better. We just finished the last tests."

"Were your suspicions about the honey ingredients confirmed?"

Daniel nodded. "Yes, the test results confirm that it was the sugar in the honey that caused the effect." He held out a pad to the Vulcan. "This is an updated food list for Spock."

Sarek took the pad and skimmed the list briefly, noting items that had joined the 'harmful' list. He nodded. "My gratitude, Dr. Corrigan," he said. Then he tilted his head when his fine hearing caught a familiar sound. Disregarding the presence of the Human Sarek rose smoothly from his seat and went back to Spock's room.

Daniel followed him with a curious expression. When he reached the door he stopped and smiled silently. Sarek stood close to Spock's bed and lifted the fussing child to lay him against his chest. He stroked a hand over his son's head and rubbed the baby's back while murmuring soothingly. Instantly Spock quieted; his still weary head now resting on his father's shoulder. Sarek laid his cheek against the fine hair and rocked the child gently; eyes distant. Daniel witnessed the scene and regretted that Amanda was still asleep. It would be good for her to see the display of fatherly affection. But he didn't wish to interfere and before the Vulcan could become aware of him and feel awkward for having shown emotion Daniel retreated. Just as he had expected Sarek remembered his presence soon enough and left the room with Spock still in his arms. The Vulcan raised an eyebrow about Daniel's expression that left no doubt he had observed his affectionate behaviour towards Spock. The Human could not suppress a sympathetic smile.

"Ah, he is awake," Daniel stated the obvious to ease the awkward situation for the Vulcan. He reached into the pocket of his overall and took out a small light stick and reached for Spock's head. "May I?"

"Certainly, Doctor," Sarek said and adjusted his hold on the child so that Daniel could easily lift one of Spock's eyelids. He held the light into the eye of the child and instantly the boy gave a protesting yelp and turned away his face to bury it against his father's neck.

Daniel smiled. "All right. He's just tired now." He held Spock's wrist for an instant to feel the pulse. Nodding satisfied he stepped back and then rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Speaking of," he said, "it's late." He took a look at his watch. "No, it's early actually," he corrected himself and smiled. "Spock is hereby officially released. You can take him home but I have scheduled two appointments for follow-up examinations. Just to make sure."

"Of course. We will attend," Sarek answered.

Daniel yawned now fitfully. "Fine. I will advise my assistant to send you a message with the appointment dates. I'd better catch some sleep now," he looked almost apologetic. "I have a double shift beginning this evening."

"I wish to thank you for your extensive care for my son, Doctor. It is impossible to say in words what your service means to me," Sarek's words trailed off and he stroked a hand over Spock's baby fine hair.

Daniel watched the Vulcan with a questioning gaze. Was he actually searching for words? Astonishing! He had never seen Sarek speechless and smiled encouragingly. His curiosity turned to open surprise when Sarek shifted the child in his arms and held out his hand. The smile died on Daniel's lips when he understood what the Vulcan was offering. He knew how unpleasant it was for Vulcans to touch Humans and therefore they avoided it whenever possible. That Sarek was now offering him a human handshake was more than just a casual gesture. Carefully he tried to control his thoughts when he reached for the offered hand. Sarek's skin was very warm and dry and he grasped the Human's hand with a tight grip. Daniel returned the pressure in kind and nodded. "Thank you," he said, equally unable to find a way of expressing his feelings when they loosened the contact.

A movement behind Sarek caught Daniel's attention when a dishevelled but fully alert Amanda exited the treatment room Spock had been in. 'Oh dear,' he thought. He could only guess what Amanda must have been thinking when she awakened with the bed of her son empty and the bio monitors turned off. Her eyes were wide with fear. When she spotted Sarek with Spock in his arms she laid a hand against her chest and closed her eyes for a brief moment, taking a deep breath.

Sarek had seen the Human's attention shifting to a point behind him and turned. He spotted Amanda who was now rushing towards him. Her eyes searched his and this time his gaze told her that everything would be all right. When she had reached him she held out her arms and Sarek willingly handed the child over to her. She cradled the baby against her chest and kissed him tenderly, taking his hand and then stroking over his cheek. She lifted a questioning gaze to Daniel. The Human smiled back at her. "Don't worry, Amanda. He's just sleeping now. Give another couple of hours and he will be fine."

Her eyes were brimmed with tears. "Thank you, Daniel," she said, her voice unsteady. She extended a hand and he grasped it between both of his. "Nah, nothing to thank me for," he answered and smiled at her. "You can go home now. Sarek is informed about the follow-up examinations." Amanda nodded and then returned her attention to her son. Giving her some privacy Daniel turned back to Sarek to take his leave.

Amanda didn't hear the two men speaking. All she was focussed on was the child in her arms. Once more she shifted him against her to check his condition; almost wishing he would wake up for a moment so that she could see he was okay. She whispered into his ear and stroked over his hair again and he finally lost his patience, giving a disapproving wail and turning his face away from her.

"Shh, everything okay, baby. Everything okay," she whispered, not sure whether she was soothing the child or herself. She heard Sarek stepping to her side. Although she was flooded with relief about Spock's recovery she knew the rift between her and Sarek had still to be mended. With difficulty she tore her gaze away from Spock to meet his gaze.

"Shall I carry him to the flitter?" he asked.

Amanda shook her head and held the child closer, afraid to let him go. "No, it's okay. I will take him." She nervously met Sarek's gaze again to glimpse his reaction and quickly glanced away; her eyes searching something else to focus on when meeting his void expression.

"As you wish," he just replied. He briefly disappeared in Spock's former room to retrieve the blanket. He helped her to wrap it securely around Spock and then turned wordlessly towards the elevators. Amanda trailed silently behind him when they left the hospital.

The ride to Skon's estate passed in silence. The tension between the adults was palpable and Amanda busied herself with switching her attention between her son and the scenery outside that was now bathed in the reddish hue of Vulcans early morning sun. When they reached the estate Sarek manoeuvred the flitter to ground level to avoid the weather protection shield that held the fine sand at bay that already swirled through the morning air. He landed in front of the huge gate that slid open after he pressed his hand to the panel beside it. The narrow palm trees that lined both sides of the long avenue leading up to the estate's main house cast the first pale shadows on the ground while Vulcan's sun rose further into the sky.

Sarek parked the flitter in front of the house and Amanda took another moment to regard the serene sand-gardens with their desert rocks and plants. The colour of the rocks seemed to change by the minute when the sunlight intensified. Small insects already danced on the heat waves emanating from the ground. Her head turned when she heard the door at the pilot's side slide open.

"I will be back soon," Sarek just said and exited the flitter. Amanda nodded but he didn't see her.

A few minutes later he came back to the flitter with Sybok walking silently behind him. The boy cast a tentative glance at the bundle in Amanda's arms but lowered his gaze when his eyes met those of the human woman. Amanda took a deep breath and suppressed her nervousness. She knew her husband was not the only person she needed to have a clarifying talk with. While Sarek entered the flitter again Sybok took his place on the backseat and they left the estate without further delay.

Once they had reached their home and entered the house Sybok directly scooted away to his room. Sarek's eyes followed him but for the time being he didn't call the child back. The admonishment could wait. Amanda walked past him and disappeared in the direction of Spock's room. He remembered a small but important detail and went off to the study.

The baby was still asleep and his head rested heavily on her shoulder when Amanda entered his room. She touched her hand to the panel beside the door and instantly the windows darkened and shut out the intensifying daylight. "Lights, 25 percent," she said lowly and the voice interface caught up her command and soft light illuminate the room. Gently Amanda laid the baby into his bed and covered him with a blanket. He stirred lightly and stuck his thumb into his mouth. Amanda smiled down on him, then her expression grew serious and she shivered when she remembered how close she had come to lose her little treasure.

She jumped when Sarek's voice sounded closely behind her. "Are you cold, aduna?"

She shook her head, not ready to tear her gaze a way from the child. "No, it's just...," she faltered and gripped the rails of Spock's baby bed. Sarek waited patiently for her to speak. She lowered her head. "I am sorry, Sarek," she murmured. "It was wrong of me to accuse you not to care. I know you worried as much as I did."

"Worry is an emotion I am..."

"Most capable of," Amanda finished the sentence for him.

"Illogical," Sarek remarked lowly.

"Family life isn't logical, Sarek," Amanda replied softly and adjusted Spock's blanket.

Sarek didn't answer, astonished how much her remark resembled the words of his father. He looked up from studying his son when she turned to him. She remained silent for a moment and then extended a hand to run it over his shirt, tentatively waiting if he would allow her touch.

He didn't retreat and a first wave of relief slowly flooded her. The first step was done. She took a deep breath and looked up to him again. He returned her gaze calmly, but the usual warmth was not yet ready to return to his eyes. She felt a tad of discouragement - but she had known it wouldn't be that easy to close the rift between them. "You can't handle your family with logic alone," she said.

Sarek's brows rose. "You are the second person to tell me this today," he answered.

"Really?" Amanda asked.

"I spoke to my father," Sarek elaborated.

"Ah," Amanda smiled softly. "He's right." Then her expression became serious again. "I am sorry," she repeated. "I put you in a box and labelled it without realizing that the way you handled things was just your way of dealing with a crisis – not lack of compassion."

"Compassion…" Sarek echoed but Amanda held up a hand and placed a finger to his mouth. "Don't say it. I know better."

Sarek folded his hands behind his back. "As you wish."

She dropped her hand and a shadow of uncertainty clouded her features. He didn't reply to her bait in his usual teasing manner. The hint was almost imperceptible but she caught it. She had used her ire against him and that was something he didn't take lightly – never had and never would. She must have disturbed him greatly. As it seemed her words were not enough to heal the wound as of yet. She shifted uncomfortably. "I think I will go and help Sybok now. He's due for school."

Sarek shook his head. "No, I called the school. He does not have to attend today."

Amanda looked up at him in surprise. "Really? Why?" She had certainly not expected him to do so. She could see he didn't like to justify his actions but answered nevertheless.

"My father told me the boy had insufficient rest during the night. He woke up several times despite a sleep trance. Attending school without 100 percent mental and physical capacity is not wise. Therefore he has been allowed to stay at home."

Amanda nodded. So there was no reason to postpone an uncomfortable talk any further. "I need to talk to him," she murmured more to herself.

"I shall be in meditation," Sarek announced, obviously not willing to lend her support in this situation. With a last look at his sleeping son Sarek set in motion but stopped at Spock's bed. Carefully he reached for his son's hand and removed the child's thumb from his mouth to spare the growing teeth. Then he left the room and disappeared in the direction of his study.

Amanda breathed deeply and checked on Spock again. After the recent events she hated to leave him alone. She bit her lip while literally chewing on the problem. Then an idea shot through her. She crossed the room, opened the closet and rummaged at the bottom until she found the box she was searching for. Her parents had sent the items from Earth shortly before Spock's birth. Sarek had convinced her that she wouldn't need the baby phone since he would hear Spock's mental call if he needed them. Of course, these circumstances still applied but she wanted to know first hand when Spock woke up this time. She opened the package and took out two small mobile devices. After placing the empty box back into the closet she returned to the bed and placed the sender on the small bedside table after switching it on. When activating the receiver she saw the green light indicating that the connection between the two devices had been established. After a last reassuring look at Spock she turned down the lights and left the room, sliding the receiver of the baby phone into the pocket of her jacket.

She went to Sybok's room and knocked on the door softly. She waited few seconds and then knocked again. "Sybok?" she asked. "May I come in?" She frowned when she didn't get an answer. That was not like Sybok. Carefully she opened the door and peered into the room. It seemed to be empty. She opened the door wider and made a few steps. She found his desk, bed and meditation alcove empty, however. She remained standing in the middle of the room for a moment longer. Then she blinked when an idea came to her mind. She knelt and peered under the bed. Maybe he was hiding. But the space under the bed was also empty, as was the closet she opened to see whether he was hiding there.

She left his room. Maybe he was in the kitchen? Entering the spacious room she found it also empty and was just about to leave when her gaze fell on the tray with the fateful kreyla cookies. She approached the counter and took one of the cookies in hand. Turning it she watched its smooth texture and the appetizing innocent golden brown colour. Unbelievable that they had nearly cost Spock's life. She dropped the biscuit back on the tray, her face displaying an expression as if she'd held an ugly insect. Suddenly she couldn't stand the fragrance and sight of the cookies any more. Grabbing the tray she set to throw them all into the trash but then hesitated. It would be a great waste to throw them away. She knew I-Chaya loved them. The thought of the sehlat offered another possibility where Sybok could be hiding. She filled the biscuits into a bag and left for the garden.

The increasing heat hit her when she closed the garden door from outside. As she had expected the narrow sand path leading to the side of the house showed fresh food prints that the constant hot breeze had not been able to erase yet. She followed the track and it led her securely to I-Chaya's pen. She opened the gate and stepped inside, approaching the huge pile of boulders in one corner where the sehlat had his cave. She looked inside and saw a huge ball of fur lying against the far corner where the heat was not that oppressive. I-Chaya's ears just twitched but he didn't move otherwise. Amanda suppressed a smile. The old sehlat would only move when food was in the vicinity. When her eyes adjusted to the low light in the cave she saw a little boy sitting by the sehlat's side, facing away from the entrance. His head turned briefly when he heard her at the entrance but as soon as their gazes met he turned back to the wall, his expression one of uncertainty.

Amanda shifted and the bag with the cookies rustled. Instantly I-Chaya's head snapped up and he watched the woman with clear dark eyes, ears pricked in her direction. Amanda smiled and crawled a bit into the cave to escape the increasing heat outside. She sat against the wall and rustled with the bag again. The sehlat growled lowly and got up, forcing Sybok to move and face Amanda. The animal approached Amanda and flopped down at her feet, watching her and the bag in turn. Amanda reached out and stroked him between the ears. I-Chaya's eyes closed in bliss.

"Good boy," she said lowly and finally reached inside the bag and gave him a hand full of cookies. The beast settled down contentedly and used its few remaining teeth to gnaw on the soft biscuits. Amanda's gaze switched to Sybok. He was watching her calmly but didn't speak or move. Had she scared him so much with her move in the hospital or was it just his remorse that made him so uncomfortable in her presence? She reached into the bag again and laid a few more biscuits in front of I-Chaya's huge paws.

"I figured that no one would like kreyla just now. Certainly not me," she said casually while watching the sehlat. Sybok didn't answer but shifted into a more relaxed position when he heard the usual soft tone had returned to her voice. She looked up. "Don't you agree?" She prompted. The boy nodded. Amanda sighed inwardly. This was not progressing very well. He still seemed to be scared. How could she get him to come over and relax so that they could talk? I-Chaya had finished his biscuits and nudged her carefully with one of his paws, pleading for more kreyla. She watched the animal and an idea came to her mind. "Your pet is hungry, Sybok. As your master it's your duty to feed him. Won't you do that?" she asked and held the bag out to him. I-Chaya sniffed and craned his neck in its direction. Amanda pushed his nose back gently.

An expression of uncertainty shadowed Sybok's features. Then he got up slowly and crossed the cave that was only so high as to allow him to stand but not an adult. He knelt beside Amanda and took the bag from her. Almost hesitant to touch the cookies he reached into the bag and continued to feed I-Chaya.

Amanda watched him silently and noticed how he was darting glances at her without looking up. "I must apologize to you, Sybok" she finally said.

That caused the boy to lift his head. The confusion in his eyes was evident when he studied her. "But I left the cookies," he answered, his voice tinged with remorse.

"That's right," Amanda confirmed. "And I think your father will have a word with you about that."

The boy cast his eyes down quickly, clearly uncomfortable at the thought of the rebuke he had to expect. "I understand."

Amanda sighed. "No, not fully, Sybok-kam," she said softly, forcing the gaze of the boy back to her by using the endearment. "I shouldn't have let you and your friend eat in the living room. It was also my fault that Spock could have the cookies," she paused a few seconds to catch on Sybok's reaction but he was just watching her calmly, feeding the sehlat another cookie when the animal nudged his hand with its nose. "I… I didn't realize my part in this back at the hospital. I didn't want to be so mad at you. I was scared and in my fear I blamed you alone. It was wrong of me to do that," she admitted further.

Sybok looked down at the floor for a second, then he focussed the human woman with a remarkably firm gaze. "You love Spock very much, don't you?"

Amanda was so astonished that she forgot to answer at first. She had never heard a Vulcan ask such a personal question – and about love a that! Most Vulcans claimed not to understand this term although it was obvious that they knew the feeling. "Yes. Yes, I do love him with all my heart."

Sybok bit his lip. "My… my mother was very mad with me once because I went away without her permission. She told me later why she had been mad."

Amanda's eyes grew wide with the mental image of an upset Vulcan. Sarek had never spoken about her or her behaviour towards him so she couldn't tell. If T'Rea had shown emotions this would explain Sybok's difficulties to learn control of his feelings. She studied the small boy and was not surprised to see tears shimmering in his eyes. She had never heard him speak about his mother. During the first two months after her death and after he came to live with Sarek and her he hadn't spoken one single word. She had attributed this to the fact that he had lived among the Kolinahru during the first four years of his life. She realized just now that what she had interpreted as absolute control over his emotions had been a total shut off from the outside world caused by pain about the loss of his mother rather than controlling his emotions by will. Compassion flooded her and her first instinct was to hug and comfort the child. But she didn't know if he would appreciate the touch and thus she hesitated. "She told you she had been mad because she loved you so much and was scared you could be hurt, didn't she?" she queried softly.

Sybok dropped is gaze and nodded. "I understand your reaction, T'sai. There is nothing to apologize for."

Amanda almost winced when hearing the formal title. They had never been so close before but now he was retreating again. How could she stop him? Like an answer the baby phone in her pocket came to life and transmitted the wailing sound of a waking baby. I-Chaya's ears pricked in Amanda's direction, recognizing the familiar sound. Sybok also looked at her pocket
and raised an eyebrow. Amanda took out the small device and showed it to him. "A baby-phone," she explained. "It seems your brother woke up."

"You certainly wish to attend to him now, T'sai," Sybok mentioned and fed the sehlat a last cookie. The animal had been remarkably patient during their talk. Now his attention was torn between the offered treat and the wailing baby phone.

Amanda was dismayed that their talk would end like this. If she retreated now nothing would change between them. How could she maintain the fragile bridge that this tragedy had formed - how could she show him that everything would be right again? Out of a sudden inspiration she crossed her arms in front of her chest and made herself more comfortable. "Why don't you go and tend to him?" she asked.

Sybok blinked as if he couldn't believe what she had just said. Spock's wailing got more impatient by the minute. Amanda smiled mildly. "Go quickly or he'll scream your father out of meditation."

"Do you really want me to?" Sybok asked still unsure if she was offering the sign of trust.

"I think I do," she answered, taking the bag with the cookies from his hand.

"As you wish, T'sai," he answered and crawled past her. He turned to go when she called softly after him.

"Sybok?"

The boy turned. "Yes, T'sai?"

"Do you think you could call me Amanda?"

"Certainly, T'sai," the boy answered. His eyes gleamed briefly as if he were teasing her but the expression disappeared too quickly for Amanda to be sure.

She looked after him when he left the pen. Had she really managed to improve their relationship or had she just reset it to previous – rather distant status? In any case she was sure they had still a long way to go. The sehlat nudged her side and eyed the bag with the cookies. Amanda patted his head.

"No, dear. You had enough cookies already," she said to the animal and crawled out of the cave. She put the bag into the compartment that held the daily food for the sehlat and sealed it tightly. She had already reached the gate of the pen and her hand hovered over the sealing mechanism when the baby phone transmitted the sound of Sybok's voice followed by Spock's delighted squeal. She smiled sadly and happily at the same time. Only the baby was able to retrieve Sybok from the mental corner he seemed to flee in when interacting with her and Sarek. The two boys had a close relationship she was very grateful for. If Spock were gone not only her life would become very, very lonely.

With a start she realized how close they had been to a total disaster and the feeling made her shiver no matter that Vulcan's sun was already burning down on her. Abruptly she turned and retrieved the bag with the remaining cookies from the food compartment. She wouldn't risk another incident. The cookies would be destroyed, no matter if Sarek thought it was an unnecessary waste. The life of her sons was too valuable to be risked a second time, she thought and returned to the house.

The End