Chapter 21 – The Repercussions

McCoy:  The release of emotions, Mr. Spock, is what keeps us healthy, emotionally healthy, that is.
Spock:  That may be, Doctor; however, I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you.
(ST - TOS  Plato's Stepchildren)


The gentle waves lapped against Amanda's ankles as she splashed along the ocean's edge.  With a quick glance, she smiled over at the person who mirrored her pace, only on dry land.  Warmth not fed by the sun's illumination filled her as she laughed at his refusal to join her along the watery shoreline. "Come with me," she said, the heady feeling of adoration causing her words to skip through the air.

"I cannot," he replied.  His cool tone caused her to stop.  A strand of seaweed tangled itself against her left foot.

"But, why?" she asked, confused by his sudden refusal to please her.  She knew she could just smile and ask and.

"No," he firmly said, his tone void of any tenderness.

"Please?" she begged softly.  Surely, he would acquiesce.

"No," he adamantly stated.  "You must come with me."

"What?" she said, startled by his fierce tone.  The skies were no longer the azure she knew… nothing was like she knew.  Gone was the ocean, a red-orange sky coalesced around her, and the stinging slap of fine sand burned her flesh.  Hurricane force winds pummeled against her, nearly toppling her as she struggled to remain upright.  Dry, thin air scorched her lungs as she struggled for a breath.  The heat from the planet's crust blasted the bottom of her bare feet as she sheltered her eyes against the intense light that she feared would damage her sight. "Where are we?" she cried out.  "What's happened?"

"We are home."

"No!" she screamed.  "This isn't home!  No!"

"We are home," the disembodied male voice repeated as a shower of molten lava shot up directly in front of her from a fiery depression in the planet's surface.  She could only watch as time slowed to a heartbeat thrum as the lava arched in the acrid environment and fell toward her horrified form.  As she cowered helplessly against the assault, she instinctively closed her eyes and began to scream and scream.

Wildly flailing against the imagined assault, she fell to the floor as her weak cry for help died in her throat.  Jolted awake, Amanda trembled, disoriented, as the last fragments of the nightmare fled into the recesses of her mind.  An incessant visitor alert sounded, but it took her a moment to collect herself before she could answer the demand for entry.

"Just a minute," she called out, her voice sounding thunderous in her ears even as she tried to shake from her mind the peculiar dream.  Untangling herself from her bed linens, she checked the chrono.  It was 0744 hours, which was fairly early for most students on a Sunday.  Sometimes she attended the campus chapel services, and it was possible that it was India asking if she was interested in going with her.  Still, it was strange that the girl hadn't commed her.

"Just a minute," she yelled again as she pulled on her robe and stumbled slightly to the door.  Checking the security screen, Amanda did a double take.  What were they doing here?

As the door slid open, she openly smiled at the solemn twosome as they stood next to each other in the hall.

"Matty!  Danny!  What are you two doing here?" Amanda exclaimed, even as her smile faded.  Neither brother's face had changed from the neutral mask they wore.

"Amanda, the question is what are you doing here?" Matt asked, his voice strangely flat as he glared at his sister. 

Amanda flushed under his intense look. "Um… going to college?" she joked, hoping that one or the other would take the hint and lighten up.

"Have you been watching the newsvids?" Dan asked as he entered the small apartment.  Amanda frowned at the question.

"No, I've been asleep since 2240 hours last night," she said.

"Who else is in here?" Matt asked, suspiciously eyeing her bedroom door.  "We heard noises when we first approached your door."

"Oh, no one's here," the young woman said as her eyes narrowed.  "Check if you want."

"I will," Matt coolly said as he walked past his irate sister.  "I know I heard something in here."

"I was having a nightmare, if you must know," Amanda said, shocked by the distrust her brother was exhibiting in her.  "I can't believe you'd think I was sleeping with someone."

"You really haven't been watching the feeds, have you?" Dan asked as
Matt went into Amanda's bedroom.  After a moment, he came back into
the main room as his sister fumed.

"So, tell me," Matt demanded.  "What is going on between you and the Vulcan ambassador?"

"Nothing!" Amanda insisted.  "Absolutely nothing.  He only asked me to attend the embassy banquet as his escort."

"No, not him," Matt impatiently said.  "The other one, Skon?  I've only been getting half the story, but from what I've heard, something is going on."

Amanda quizzically wrinkled her nose as she cut her eyes back and forth between her brothers.  "What?  I don't understand."

"I've heard some of your conversations with Mother," Matt explained as he took in a deep breath.  "I've heard her asking you if you can repay Skon.  You told her you could, and then, almost immediately, you asked her for some credits."  He relaxed his stern features as his voice softened.  "Amanda, tell me the truth.  How are you going to repay this… this Vulcan… with no credits?  What is he asking you to do?"

"I can take care of it," Amanda said, her tone matching Matt's concerned pitch. 

Dan glowered at her as he started to pace. "Oh, you can?" he sarcastically said.  "The only way I know that you could repay him isn't legal in this state.  Is that what it is?  I've heard from one of the reporters that Skon is often here alone while his wife is on Vulcan."

It took Amanda a moment to understand what Dan was saying.  "No, Danny!" she exclaimed, stunned by his accusation.  "Skon is a distinguished, honorable person who would never cheat on his wife, especially with… with me." She shuddered at the ludicrous charge even as Matt took a seat next to her monitor.

"All right," he said as Dan leaned against a wall opposite his brother.  "Then, why don't you tell us what's been going on?"

"Nothing has been going on," Amanda maintained as she observed the doleful glances her brothers exchanged.

"Fine," Matt said pithily.  "Then, watch this."

His fingers danced on the monitor keyboard as he searched for a particular site.  After a moment, the sounds of a reporter's voice filled the room.

"So far, little information has been offered about the young woman last seen at the embassy apparently at the request of the new Vulcan ambassador," the man's voice said.  "We have unconfirmed reports that she is a local student at the University of California - Berkeley.  Whoever she is, one thing is certain."  The reporter's voice was cocky and sure as he continued.  "She won't be anonymous for long."

Matt watched his sister's surprised expression as he keyed in another net feed. 

"…and danced with her.  There are unconfirmed reports that the young woman had been a student at the Vulcan embassy during the disastrous 'exchange course' that ended after a demonstration turned violent.  If that is true, the Vulcans have certainly had this young human in their sites for quite awhile."

Turning off the feed, Matt sat back and pursed his lips tightly together.  "Now do you understand why we're here?"

"No, not really," Amanda slowly admitted as she stared at her monitor.  Why were there stories about her on the net feeds?

"The university contacted us after several reporters were caught trying to sneak into your resident hall," Dan said.  "We were told that it might not be safe for you to be here."

"Amanda," Matt softly said.  "We've come to pack you up and take you home."

"What?" she cried out, "I'm not going anywhere!  I just started classes!"

"I know," Matt calmly said as he patted a spot next to him on the couch.  Amanda curtly shook her head as he continued.  "Even the scholarship situation has me worried.  It's possible that Ambassador Agani only helped you in order for you to stay in the San Francisco area.  It's entirely possible that the scholarship wasn't based on your academic record at all.  It was meant to keep you here.  Near them."

"Them?" Amanda queried as she felt her rage threatening to boil over.  "So, you can't even call them Vulcans?  What's happened to you, Matt?  You used to be so tolerant."

"I am tolerant when my sister isn't being used!" he snapped back.  "Listen to the feeds, Amanda!  Look at the stories!  Most of them speak about the embassy course you took when you thirteen.  I know about the tuition payments Skon made, and about the time T'Spia was a student.  I've been putting it all together, and I don't like what I'm coming up with."

"And, what's that?" she frostily asked as she descended onto the couch.  Matt faced her and exhaled slowly before he spoke.

"It appears that Ambassador Skon had you pegged from the beginning for some purpose, something that probably involved the relations between humans and Vulcans."  He waited a moment as his words sunk in.  "It involves his son.  Am I right?"

Amanda stared at the monitor for a moment, emotions whirling as Dan found another net feed story.

"According to the Vulcan embassy, Ambassador Sarek is unmarried.  Perhaps he's trying to personally improve relations through an interspecies marriage?"  The question was said in a droll manner as several other reporters chuckled.  "If so," said a different reporter, "then he might want to look up the term 'robbing the cradle'."

Dan slammed his hand down, effectively cutting off further reports.  Matt glared at his sister, but diminished the anger in his features as he observed her bewildered expression. "That's why we're here," Matt tenderly said.  "How are you going to be able to go to classes with reporters swarming around you?  Has this Sarek character even contacted you about the feeds?"

"No," Amanda whispered.  "No, he hasn't."

"Has anyone at the embassy worried about your security?"

Matt read the negative response in her suddenly bright eyes. "You can come home with us today," Matt offered, an understanding smile on his lips.  "We'll leave as soon as you're packed.  We'll tell the University that you need a short sabbatical due to circumstances beyond your control.  Then, you can come with us to Calais and visit dad.  He's supposed to be wakened from the coma in a few days, maybe on your birthday.  How about that?  You'd like that, wouldn't you?"  His tone was one he had used when Amanda was merely a baby.  He expected her to snarl at him for using it, but instead, she leaned her head against his arm and started to cry.  Wrapping her in a tight embrace, he let her sob as he stroked her hair.  "It's all right," he whispered.  "Everything will be fine."

"Do you want me to start packing up the bedroom first?" Dan asked.  Matt cut his eyes hard at his brother, but was surprised when Amanda rose up.

"I don't want to leave," she said firmly.  "I don't want to go."

"Once this all dies down, you can come back," Matt offered.

"Bedroom?" Dan said, a question in his voice.

"No," she murmured.  "I'll take care of the bedroom.  You can start in here."  With nothing further said, she stood and walked trancelike toward the back room.  The brothers waited until she was in her bedroom before they said anything to each other.

"She took our suggestion to leave better than I expected," Dan said as he checked the hallway again.

"Yes," Matt said grimly.  "Too well.  She may be more hurt by this whole Embassy fiasco than I thought."  Narrowing his eyes, he shook his head.  "We have to do everything in our power to keep those Vulcan bastards away from her."

The morning passed with little said between the brothers and their sister.  Amanda couldn't shake the feeling of déjà vu as she remembered the way she and Orange had left their apartment.  Sitting on her stripped bed, she shivered slightly at the reality of what she was doing.  Like a coward, she was running away again.  Matty had always had the ability to convince her to do most anything, and it was that unfair advantage that had swayed her.  It was far too early in the day for Sarek to have make contact with her, but as the hours slipped by with no communication, Amanda felt her spirits drop even further.  She thought she heard her message alert sound only minutes after she entered her bedroom, but when she checked there was no message.  Danny had shooed her back to the bedroom to finish packing, which made her suspicious.  It was one thing for them to want her to be safe, it was another if they were screening her calls.

With a sigh, she threw her carryalls onto her bed as she checked the built-in dresser for any stray items she'd forgotten.  The bizarre nightmare she'd had still troubled her.  Was it a warning?  Perhaps she'd been too brash in telling Sarek that she wasn't afraid of anything.  How brainless was that kind of bravado, anyway?  And yet, last night, she hadn't been afraid.  Why couldn't she have dreamed about the dance?

"Are you about ready?" Matt asked from the doorway. 

Amanda didn't look at him as she reluctantly nodded. "I suppose," she mumbled, then looked up.  "Matty, I can't leave until I speak with Sarek."

"What?" he said, his jaw line tense.  "Why would you want to speak with him?"

"Because I can't leave like this," Amanda insisted.  "I'm tired of running away.  It's not his fault that the media is going crazy over a silly invitation to a banquet."

"It would be best for us to leave as soon as possible," Matt stated, his tone firm.  "You can contact him once we're in Boston."

"But, Matty," she began, but he gently shook his head as he smiled.

"This is for your own good," Matt maintained as he picked up one of the carryalls. 

"I need to change my comm number and contact info," Amanda informed him as he turned back toward her.

"That's fine, but no outgoers," he said.  "Just change your information and load my comm number.  Don't send any messages, and don't indicate that you're no longer on campus."

"All right," she agreed. 

Matt narrowed his eyes at her rather cavalier manner. "I'm serious, Amanda," he said as his sister looked up innocently at him.  "Don't you dare send anything out."

"I promise I won't," she sincerely answered as she entered the now empty main room and sat down at her monitor.  The indicator lights showed no messages, and she again wondered why Sarek wasn't trying to contact her. 

After a moment, Matt came up to check her progress and to verify that no outgoing messages had been sent.  Satisfied, he slung the last of his sister's carryalls over his shoulder. "Are you ready to go?" he asked as Dan picked up a small container with several live plants in it.

"Do I have a choice?" she coolly replied. 

Matt blinked at her frosty attitude even as Dan raised both eyebrows in surprise. "No, you don't," Dan admitted.  "This is for your safety, shrimp."

"My heroes," Amanda acerbically grumbled as she followed her brothers.  With Dan as a de facto bodyguard, she had already taken the gown and necklace to India to return to Sabille and Clover.  Since Sabille hadn't liked the scarf in the first place, she had tucked it into one of her carryalls to keep.  Glancing back into her resident hall apartment, she had the distinct, unnerving feeling that she wouldn't be back.  Now, if only Sarek would recognize her message.

--------

Soran's fingers flew over the keys of his monitor board as he attempted again to contact the University directory for information.  Why Amanda's comm code had changed from earlier that morning was a mystery.  He was certain that the earlier link had connected properly, but without explanation, there had been no response.  Now, the comm unit number was incorrect.

"What have you discovered, Soran?" Sarek asked.  He was standing just inside his former office as his friend worked on the communications problem with the university.

"The comm code has been changed, S'haile," Soran replied.  "It appears to have been changed 23.42 minutes ago.  It is possible that the university changed it to avert an influx of undesired contact.  I should have the new code momentarily."

Sarek stared at the screen for a moment as he considered his options.  The media inquiry into his relationship with Amanda had been inadvertent, but was useful in that more discretion would limit the problem in the future.  Logically, he should avoid contact with Amanda until the bonding ceremony; however, her human nature did not ensure that she would agree to the ceremony at all.  Why he was unable to contact her was disconcerting.  There had been no indication from her that she didn't wish to speak with him.  It was true that she had left the embassy rather abruptly.

"I have the code," Soran announced as his fingers flew to open the channel.  Sarek moved to stand next to the aide's chair, his hand lightly resting on top of the seat back.

"Interesting," Sarek murmured as the display darkened, flickered, and then the serene image of Amanda filled the screen.

`You have reached comm number 4983.35022.  Please leave a message.'  The abbreviated greeting ended as Sarek indicated wordlessly that Soran should sever the link.

"S'haile?" Soran said, curious by his friend's decision to leave no message.

"Perhaps." Sarek began, and then paused.  There was something odd about the message, something that was on the periphery of his thoughts, or something unseen.

"Will you contact Amanda at a later time?" Soran asked. 

Sarek tilted his head as he continued to stare at the now blank screen. "Initiate contact again," he ordered, and Soran immediately complied.

As the screen again flickered to life, Sarek pointed toward the distortion.  "Why is that happening?" he asked as Soran raised his brow at the question.

"It is likely caused by a faulty recording device," the aide offered.  "Often, I have observed such poor quality recordings."

"That may be true," Sarek said, his eyes narrowed as the cryptic message ended.  The impersonal greeting somehow rankled his customarily unperturbed nature.  It might be that there was something hidden in the message itself.

"Soran, can you identify the comm code Amanda mentioned?  It is hers?"

A quick check revealed that the code belonged to Matthew Grayson. 

Sarek's right eyebrow flew up at the disclosure.  "Play the greeting again," Sarek requested as he leaned closer to the screen.  "Set the recording to cease at the first indication of distortion."

Soran glanced quickly at his friend due to the intensity of his tone, but complied as the screen darkened.  As the screen image lightened, the ordered pause occurred.  Both Vulcans straightened as the previously unseen written message appeared.

`Sarek, not much time.  Brothers here.  I'm going with them to Boston.  No choice.  Birthday… Rt 3, Provincetown… where I like… ask T'Spia.'

"Soran, verify that there are no other messages," Sarek said as he strode toward the door.

"Sarek, where are you going?" the aide inquired.

"First, I will converse with T'Spia," Sarek replied, as if the answer was fairly obvious.

"After that?" Soran asked. 

The ambassador raised his right eyebrow. "After that, you shall arrange transport for me to Boston.  Based on the message, my company has been requested in three days time," he said as he confidently left the office.

"Yes, S'haile," the aide said, even though his friend was already out of hearing range.  As the analysis of the recorded message revealed no other hidden secrets, Soran's gaze studied the image of the young woman Sarek was so captivated by.  It was quite ingenious of her to find a way to indicate her location… quite resourceful.  The aide sighed noiselessly.  Illogically, he hoped that his friend would find her.

The three passengers on the shuttle to Boston were in the same compartment, but a quiet tension prevented conversations between them.  Amanda found the blurred landscape and occasional stops of more interest than attempting to converse with her brothers.  The two were busy discussing the plans the Calais clinic had for their father's recovery.  While she half-listened, she wondered again what she was doing.  Would Sarek discover her message hidden in the comm greeting?  It would actually make her feel better to believe that he didn't find it if she went to Lookout Point near Provincetown and he wasn't there.  Built like an ancient lighthouse, the tower offered a birds eye view of the ocean and had been one of Amanda's favorite places to go when she was a child.  Smiling at the memory, she wondered if her opinion wasn't biased because of an ice cream parlor that her dad would always stop at whenever they went.  It wasn't much of a reason for the place to be much loved, but even T'Spia had been impressed by the view.  Amanda knew that she'd told her Vulcan friend specifically that it was her favorite spot, and T'Spia wouldn't forget.

Ming, who sized up the situation swiftly as they waited for Amanda's luggage, met them at the Boston Main station.  She chatted amicably about the weather, the impending wedding ceremony between her and Matt, the improving condition of John Grayson, anything but why Amanda was there in the first place.  Ming also dominated the flitter ride conversation, although she eventually gave up after getting no more than monosyllable answers from the others in the vehicle.  The engaged couple was sharing a different apartment from the one Amanda had stayed at previously.  Dan wasn't planning to stay in the Boston area long and had already purchased a ticket to Calais for later that evening. 

"Amanda, did you want to go with Dan tonight?" Matt asked, shaking the girl from her reverie.

"How long are you going to be there?" she asked as Dan pulled one of her carryalls out of the tiny storage trunk.

"Probably two days," he said.  "I need to get back by Tuesday night for a comm interface I'm working on with that new group in Bhopal.  All my work is at my apartment just a few blocks from here.  It would make sense for you to come with me, shrimp.  Mother hasn't seen you in awhile, and I'm sure you'll want to be there when the doctors end the coma.  That's supposed to take place Tuesday morning."

Matt watched his sister grimace slightly as she bit her lip.  He'd expected her to be thrilled with the thought of going to visit their father.

"I'm not sure," she wavered as Matt frowned.  "I'd like to, but I only have enough credits to pay for my return to San Francisco."

"We can get you to Calais," Dan said as he also noticed the way she hesitated.

"You need to go see him," Matt urged as Ming pursed her lips at his tone. 

"I want to," Amanda insisted as she grabbed one of her carryalls.  "I'll see him soon.  Where do you want me?"

"First room to the left," Ming said as the girl entered the hall.  As soon as Amanda was in the other room, the petite woman narrowed her eyes as she glared at Matt.  "Of course she wants to see him," she said forcefully as Matt's expression darkened.  "Don't be so cruel."

"She's trying to come up with reasons not to," Matt said, but Dan tightly shook his head.

"I don't think so," Dan argued.  "Even if she is, remember that the last time she saw dad he was very close to death.  She's probably just scared of what she'll find."

"Yes, Matt," Ming said as she gave him as tiny smile to persuade him.  "Don't make her feel bad.  Amanda's had a very stressful weekend, and you shouldn't add to that by pressuring her to go to Calais tonight."

"So, when is she going?" Matt posed.

"I'll go with Dan," a voice said from the hall.  Amanda re-entered the main room with a pleasant smile. 

"Good!" Matt said as he matched his sister's good humor.  "That's what I wanted to hear."

"Yes, I know," Amanda nonchalantly said.  Matt's smile immediately faded as his sister turned her attention to Ming.  "Ming, do you need some help with dinner?"

"No," the dark-haired woman said as she cut a puzzled look to her fiancé.  "I've already programmed the replicator.  Maybe we can get something fresh from Brill's Bakery in the morning."

"That would be great," Amanda said as she looked around the room.  "Matt, you said I could comm Sarek when we got here."

Matt and Dan locked eyes for a moment as Ming felt the ambiance shift.  Matt somberly considered what to say as Dan noncommittally shrugged.

"Why don't you comm him after you return from Calais?" Matt slowly asked as Amanda's expression changed to exasperation.

"What more do you want from me, Matt?" she cried.  "I want to contact him, and you said I could.  I've cooperated with you, and I'd like you to do the same with me."

"I am," he said amicably.  "You can contact him Tuesday."

"No," she insisted as she scowled.  "I want to talk with him today in order to explain why I left.  It's important."

"Amanda, why can't it wait?" Matt asked plaintively.

"I want to talk with him because… it's important," she repeated as a surprising tightening occurred in her throat.  "He might think that I'm angry about the media coverage.  I want to explain that I've been kidnapped by my rabidly insane brothers who believe that they know what's best for me."

"Nice one, shrimp," Dan said with a chuckle as Matt suddenly stood, anger in his eyes.

"Do you really think that we brought you here on a whim?" the eldest brother asked crossly.  "Maybe we should have just stood by and let you deal with the media; the net feeds; the reporters; the questions.  Is that what you want?"  Matt stormed over to the apartment front door.  "Do you want to go?"

"Only if you want me to," she replied, her tone too calm for Matt's taste.  "I think you're trying too hard to protect me.  Maybe I don't want your protection, and maybe I could have handled the media just fine on my own."  She felt the tightening in her throat increase as her vision blurred.  "What are you going to do next, order me to my room?  I wish you'd stop trying to be dad."

"I'm not dad," Matt agreed after a moment as he noted Amanda's near loss of composure.  "Maybe you should think about what dad would want you to do."

"I am," she softly said as she took in a deep breath.  "I'm kind of tired," she offered as explanation as she started back toward her room.  "Do you mind if I take a nap?"

"If you want," Matt replied.  Amanda said nothing further as she left the main room and closed the door to her room.  Ming shook her head as Matt glowered at her.

"What is it?" he asked, frustrated by the apparent lack of support from his fiancé.

"Amanda's right about one thing," Ming said as she stood.  "You are way too overprotective.  She's almost 18 years old, and yet you're treating her like a child for asking for something you promised."

"She doesn't need to talk with him, and I didn't promise," Matt insisted, but Ming continued to shake her head.

"You mean that you don't want her to speak with him," she said as she walked toward the hall.  "I'm going to see if I can get her anything."

"Not a comm link," Matt said, sounding far sterner than he felt.

"I meant anything to eat or drink," the petite woman sharply retorted.  "God forbid that we let her have a word with someone on the other side of the continent."

"Stop it, Ming," Matt insisted, but his fiancé had already entered Amanda's room.

Ming stood by the door for a moment as she took in the sight of the young teen flung out across the guest bed, her head buried under her arms.  The only sign of life was in the ragged breathing that occasionally pierced the air.

"Amanda, I'm sorry that Matt is being so controlling," Ming said to the distressed figure.  "Are you hungry?  Want something to drink?" 

Several seconds passed before Amanda lifted her head and rolled over onto her back.  Her nose was red and she sniffled before she spoke. "No, I don't need anything.  Matt's not like this usually," Amanda hoarsely said.  "He's usually so understanding."

"Yes, but he was worried when he turned on the feeds and saw your holopic," Ming explained as she sat down at the edge of the bed.  "The reporters really went after the story, and Matt was afraid that you'd get hurt.  They even contacted Dan."

"Yes, he said on the ride here that a gorgeous correspondent from the First Report talked with him.  I don't think he even remembers what he said."  Amanda sat up as she tried to grin.  "He's completely incapacitated by pretty women."

"He is," Ming agreed, smiling encouragingly.  "So, tell me about Sarek.  Why do you want to speak with him?"

"What did the net feeds show?" Amanda asked, fearful of the answer. 

Ming thoughtfully pursed her lips as she considered the question. "Honestly, the feeds only showed you dancing with him.  If Matt hadn't been so outraged, he might have noticed that you were smiling."

"I was?" Amanda said, embarrassed that she couldn't remember the details.  The dance had been a blur of emotions, sights, and sounds.  While she knew it had been wonderful, magical maybe; she'd been so swept up in the thrill of Sarek's rather impassioned request that she dance that she couldn't recall what she'd done other than try to remember the simple waltz steps.

"You were," Ming said.  "It was actually very sweet, if you ask me."

"Sweet?" Amanda said as her face turned pink.

"Yes," the petite woman maintained, "It was.  So, tell me about him."

"Oh." Amanda began, and then allowed the thought to trail off.  What could she say?  "Well, he's the newly appointed Ambassador to Earth.  He's tall, maybe a centimeter or two taller than Matty.  You saw the feeds."

"But I want you to tell me about him," Ming said as she warmly smiled.  Amanda grimaced at her insistence.

"Fine.  He has dark hazel eyes and black hair that has a bit of a wave to it.  He's more ruggedly built than Matty, you know, broader in the chest, but he's thin.  He has this… well."

"Well?" Ming asked, her eyes now sparkling.

"Well, he smells incredibly good," Amanda said as she chuckled to hide her embarrassment.  "I can't explain it.  When we were dancing, I kept leaning toward him just to inhale.  And Sarek didn't really say anything to me while we danced, but it was like we had danced thousands of times before.  Isn't that crazy?"

"No, I think its love," Ming replied.

"Love?"  Amanda's eyes widened in shock.  "No, no, it's not love."

"Why not?" the woman asked as she grinned.  "Why are you so quick to dismiss it?"

"We just met," Amanda countered as she tossed the word around in her mind.  Love?  Interest? Yes.  Infatuation? Maybe.  "Anyway, love is an emotion, and Vulcans don't have emotions, or so they say."

"What about humans?  What about you?" Ming asked.

"Well, that's obvious," the teen said as she sighed.  "I certainly do have emotions, and they've been running rampant over my common sense in the worst way lately.  I need to rationally sort out this 'Sarek' business before I decide what I feel."

"Trying to rule with your head when your heart has already decided is impossible," Ming offered as she shrugged.  "I fell for your brother from the moment I first saw him.  He felt the same way.  How did you feel when you met Sarek?"

Amanda grumbled under her breath as she shook her head.  "I felt that I needed his assistance to save dad's life, that's all."

"I see," Ming said in a less than convinced tone as she noted Amanda's defensive attitude.  She stood and walked to the door.  "I'll let you get some rest.  Are you sure you want to leave tonight with Dan?"

"Yes," Amanda said as she put her head back on her pillow.  "I'll go with him tonight to see Dad.  I want to be there on Tuesday when he wakes up."

The woman nodded as she closed the door.  For several minutes, Amanda stared at the door as she organized her thoughts.  It would be best not to appear suspicious.  It was bad enough that she was guilt ridden by her realization that she'd be very upset if her dad's condition required her to remain at the clinic longer than she anticipated.  She'd go to Calais and be with her parents until it was time for Dan to return.  She could either leave with him on Tuesday or wait as late as Thursday before taking a flight back to Boston.  Since both Matt and Ming worked during the day, she could simply announce that she was going to the beach on Friday for her birthday and would meet them for dinner around 1800 hours.  That would give her most of the day with Sarek.

Closing her eyes, she fretfully worried that she might be spending her birthday at the beach alone.  Even if that did happen, at least she'd be at the beach.  Still, she reflected, that offered her absolutely no consolation.

The shuttle flight from San Francisco had been unusually turbulent, and by the time the vehicle landed at Boston Main, most of the passengers were eager to disembark.  Sarek and Soran passed by the numerous vids that expounded on the wonders of the Boston area and made their way to the designated area for vehicle rentals.  The past three days had proved to be most unusual in the degree of questioning Sarek had received when he had made known his travel plans.  Sasep, in particular, had been adamant that the new ambassador would be a target and could not leave the embassy compound.  While he understood the security issues, Sarek concluded that he had no option, even as he preferred not to explain the reasons for his chosen destination.  It was only after discussing the safety problem with Soran that he reluctantly agreed to have his friend come with him.  The aide had presented a logical argument that, while Sarek traveled to the rendezvous point to meet with Amanda, he would remain in Boston to explore the many historic sites the city boasted.  A communicator would satisfy the need for contact if necessary between the two Vulcans, and the epidural security implant would allow the embassy to track Sarek as needed.  Glancing down at his forearm, Sarek briefly considered his disapproval of such an invasive device, but he understood that there was no logic in arguing against its use. 

"Your flitter has been checked and is fully charged," Soran said, shaking Sarek from his consideration of the security concerns.

"Very well," the ambassador replied as he quirked an eyebrow at his friend's choice of transport.  "Are you certain that you understand the mechanics of your vehicle?"

"I have been given instructions on its use," Soran replied as he secured his small carryall under the seat.  "It is a commonly used mode of transportation referred to as a 'scooter', or 'moped'.  The vehicle's diminutive size will allow a 30.89 percent increase in travel options as presented by the rental companies own mapping system."  The aide cautiously sat and checked the starting mechanism as Sarek took a step back.  "Once I have successfully navigated the designated pathways, I shall efficiently arrive at the sites of most interest to me." 

"It would be most prudent to use caution, my friend," Sarek reminded Soran as he started the moped.  The hum of the engine was barely audible over the sounds of other vehicles leaving the terminal complex. 

"I shall," the aide agreed as he considered his friend for a moment.  "You may contact me at any time.  A good journey to you, my friend.  I trust that you find what you are looking for in Provincetown."

"Good journey," Sarek said as Soran pushed off using his lanky legs to gain momentum and, with only a hint of unsteadiness, left the terminal.  Climbing into the flitter, Sarek acquainted himself with the control panel as he considered the last time he had driven a vehicle.  It had been almost 3.3 years since he'd been at the controls, and he allowed himself a moment to reorient himself to the driver's position.  Seconds later, he pressed the start key and took off.

The mapping system on the flitter had been programmed for his route to the location T'Spia had given him.  Sarek considered the peculiar nature of their conversation as he pressed the vehicle forward to the maximum allowed speed.  T'Spia had been strangely contemplative when approached about Amanda's message.  Sarek's first thought was that the young Vulcan did not understand her human friend's remark about her favorite location; however, that proved not to be the case.  Instead, after offering details of the Lookout Point site, the woman had expressed her unease about Amanda's youth and naivety when it came to matters of Vulcans and diplomacy.  Sarek had been rather brusque in his rejection of her analysis since he was already aware that he had to verify that Amanda was prepared for what was to come.  He had admitted to T'Spia that he was aware of the young human's emotional tendency to react before clearly rationalizing her actions.  It was that impulsive tendency that had to end if he should realistically take her as his bondsmate.  He could not place his life in the hands of someone who might decide to leave with no warning.  That was what he had to know… would she be able to commit to him unconditionally?  A niggling thought troubled him as he considered his wish that she'd not left San Francisco as she did.  Was it due to some character flaw within himself that he expected more from her than from T'Rea?  The very thought of his first bondsmate brought into focus the possibility of another rejection.  Was that why Amanda had fled?  She might have arranged to speak with him only to tell him that she had concluded that he was an unacceptable marriage partner.  He had to prepare himself for that, he diffidently thought, even as he exhaled rather noisily.  It was a possibility. 

The peninsula road was a narrow two-lane thoroughfare that had been totally rebuilt after the devastating hurricane season of 2202 had rendered the entire Eastern seaboard a disaster area.  Based on a renewed interest in preserving the past and ending the commercialization that had robbed the area of its charm, the revitalization effort had focused on allowing nature to reclaim most of the peninsula and beachfront.  The effort had been quite successful, and only construction that was 'true' to the area was permitted.  Sarek spied the tower in the distance and after a few minutes, turned off the main beachfront road to drive down a sand covered path to an area that served as a concealed parking area.

As he left the flitter and began to climb the sand dusted wood planks that led toward the observation platform in front of Lookout Point, Sarek considered the possibility that his journey had been for naught.  Amanda had not contacted him since leaving San Francisco, and there was always the chance that she might have changed her mind.  In fact, the odds were quite favorable for such a conclusion.  Why he believed she would be there was not based upon logic.  If she wasn't there.

The platform stretched out around the circular structure in a semi-circle that faced the magnificent Atlantic Ocean view.  Sarek quickly scanned those present and his eyes settled on a young woman leaning against the deck rail.  His relief at seeing her momentarily troubled his Vulcan control.  He did not go directly over to her, but allowed himself a moment to consider her appearance.  Amanda seemed lost in a daydream as she stood motionless by the rail, gazing out upon the white-peaked waves.  She had pulled the long tendrils of dark curls back to her neck's nape with a navy blue ribbon, and her clothing was of a decidedly Terran design.  While he had chosen to wear a Vulcan casual tan tunic with matching slacks overlaid by a cloak of dark chocolate brown, Amanda had on a blue and white pinstriped halter top, navy blue Capri pants and matching canvas shoes.  Several other young women on the platform were similarly attired, so it appeared to be a fashion common to the area.  He silently admitted that she looked quite comfortable in the waterfront setting.  At home, he added as he remained in place by the stairs.  Was it a mistake to ask so much of her, to ask her to give up so much?

"Sarek!" a feminine voice cried, and he looked up in time to see Amanda's welcoming smile.  His discomfort disappeared as he crossed over to her. 

"Good morning," she cheerfully said as she approached Sarek.  "I see that you got my message."

"Indeed," Sarek replied as he observed the way the early morning sunlight glinted off her hair.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't contact you again," Amanda added as she walked back toward the railing. "It's a long story.  Just be happy that you only have one brother."

Sarek noticed an unusual boxed item with handles on the deck that the young woman retrieved.  "What is that?" he asked.

"Mid-meal," Amanda lightly replied.  "I've planned a picnic for later today.  I wasn't sure if any of the more seasonal restaurants would be open, and the veg-friendly places are in town."  She shyly glanced up at him.  "I was hoping to stay on the beach most of the day… a birthday present to myself, I suppose." 

"I understand," Sarek stated as he wondered at the slight grimace that graced her features.  "Is something amiss?"

"No," she sighed.  "I see that you prescribe to the same dress code as T'Spia when it comes to beachwear."

"Is my attire objectionable?" he queried.

"It just looks uncomfortably formal and warm," Amanda offered as an explanation.  "By this afternoon, the temperatures will make you shed that cloak."

"Based on the median temperatures typical for this location, I find your assessment to be improbable," Sarek said as Amanda chuckled.

"I thought you might say that," she said as she picked up the basket.  "Were you interested in a tour of the lighthouse?  The view from the top is quite spectacular."

"Yes, that would be acceptable," he replied. 

"We'll have the day to ourselves, then," Amanda declared as she smiled.  "Are you sure you can handle an entire day at the beach with me?"

Sarek noted the blush on her face even before he answered.

"I am certain that I can," he replied, his resonant voice low.  With a sense of amusement, he followed the flustered human into the tower.

Chapter 22 – The Day

Kirk:  "Sometimes a feeling is all we humans have to go on."
(ST: TOS A Taste of Armageddon)

Arriving at the lighthouse tower with a small contingency of other tourists, Amanda and Sarek gravitated away from the group toward the transparent walls of windows that lined the octagonal structure.  The view was as wonderful as Amanda remembered, and she waited for some acknowledgement from Sarek that he was equally impressed.

"What do you think?" she finally asked as she stood next to the staid ambassador, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Most interesting," he supplied as he observed a flock of seagulls taking off from a rock outcropping only a few hundred meters from shore.

"Interesting?  That's it?" Amanda asked, disappointed.  "I would think that you could come up with another, more enthusiastic word than `interesting' for this view."

"I have seen holopics of Atlantic Ocean views, Amanda," Sarek explained patiently as he wondered at her increasingly displeased look.  "I will agree that the elevated view from this location is exceptional."

"I guess that's better," she mumbled as she pointed toward one side of the tower.  "Oh, there's one of the old style yachts!"

Sarek followed Amanda's outstretched arm to the windows where, gliding over the breaking waves, was visible a magnificent yacht with its mainsail and jib billowing as the winds pressed the vessel forward through the waters.  He had seen boats in the Bay, but there was something far more rudimentary and untamed in the oceans' assault on the tiny vessel.  The yacht made a sudden turn, its hull nearly tipping starboard in the unrelenting brutal air gusts.

"That was close," Amanda said breathlessly as she started to shake her head.  "The pilot should be going into the bow of the waves.  They'll capsize if they're not careful."

"You are familiar with sailing techniques?" Sarek asked as he continued to follow the vessel's trek.

"My father used to take my brothers and I sailing on weekends when I was little," Amanda admitted.  "He taught us the basics.  Would you be interested in sailing?  We might be able to rent a boat, although it does look fairly choppy out there."

"No, that will not be necessary," Sarek replied, perhaps too quickly as Amanda grinned.

"Why am I not surprised?" she rhetorically asked as she shrugged.  "It's been too long since I've piloted a boat, anyway."

Sarek said nothing, but Amanda could distinguish in his mannerism the slightest indication of relief as he walked over to a monitor display.  Pressing the keypad, a darkened screen came to life as a vid began that explained the history of Lookout Point.  Although she'd seen the vid numerous times in the past, Amanda stood next to Sarek as he watched the presentation.  Once concluded, he glanced down at her.

"The production was quite concise, but educational," he reflectively affirmed as they walked back to the observation windows.  "The destruction of the marine ecosystems on Earth was a catastrophic loss."

"Yes, it was," Amanda lamented as she glowered at the yacht as it turned sharply away from the shoreline.  "My dad told me that, prior to the EW, a person could take a ship just a few kilometers offshore and see actual whales!"  With a sigh, she raised her hands to take in the view.  "Now, they're all gone, and it's our fault."

Sarek remained silent.  Amanda's mention of the EW, or Eugenics War, was surprising in that few humans would speak of that atrocious time in their history.  Casually, he again clasped his hands behind his back as he considered the sharply defined horizon. "The war you speak of was caused by those who believed that they were superior to other life forms on Earth," he finally commented even as he noted her abruptly tense stance.

"There is no such thing as a 'superior' human," she said with a harrumph of aggravation.  "The complete lack of compassion shown to those deemed `inferior' indicates that very clearly, just as such disregard for human life has plagued Terran wars from the beginning of time.  It's a sad fact that those who learn nothing from history are doomed to repeat it."

"The quote is, in fact, `Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it' by George Santayana," Sarek clarified as Amanda inclined her head at his correction.

"I was only pointing out that we have an abysmal record when it comes to showing compassion even for ourselves, let alone other Earthly inhabitants."

"That is true," he agreed as his gaze settled on the blue expanse of ocean.  The instructional vid had shown old archival footage of the colossal whales that used to inhabit the vast waters.  Long extinct, their extraordinarily mournful recorded songs would never again be heard by seafarers.  It was quite a tragic loss, he thought, as he watched Amanda crouch down next to the basket.

"According to my chrono, it's later than I thought," she said as she put the timepiece back into the basket.  "Did you want to go down to the beach now?"

"Yes," Sarek answered as he raised an eyebrow at Amanda's action.  "You were unaware of the time?"

"I don't have Vulcan time sense," she explained as she lightly bit her lip to keep her vexation at his question from erupting.  Of course he knew that, so why was he asking?  "I thought it was only a little after 0900, but it's closer to 1100.  Are you hungry yet?"

"No; however, it would be sensible to find a location for this 'picnic' you speak of," he offered as they entered the lift that would take them to the base of the lighthouse.  Screens that listed tourist destinations near their location covered the walls, and unseen speakers played an instrumental jig with a lively tempo.  One of the lift passengers began to tap his foot in time to the music, the irritating sound apparently grating on Sarek's more sensitive hearing as he glared at the man using his finest intimidating look.  It didn't work, which greatly amused Amanda as the occasionally offbeat tapping continued until they exited the compartment.

The observation deck was filling with more tourists as the couple made their way to the planked stairway that led to the beach.  Sarek witnessed the look of consternation on Amanda's face before she explained her dismay. "I never expected that there would be so many people about today," she grumbled.  "I'd hoped for some privacy."

"It this location usually private?" he asked as they walked down the wooden stairway.

"Generally it's only crowded in the summer months, but the weather is quite nice today, so there are more people out than usual."

"Is there another location that would be more secluded?" he asked softly.  For reasons she couldn't name, her breath caught in her throat even as her mind raced to remember somewhere they could go… somewhere quiet and away from the prying eyes of the public.

"Yes, I think there is a place near here that could offer us some." she paused as she wondered again at the intention of his question. "Some solitude," she concluded, her tone low.

"Will our destination require transportation?" Sarek asked as he paused on the steps.  "I have a rental vehicle in the parked area."

"You drove yourself?" Amanda asked in mock astonishment.  "I didn't know that you could do that."

"I am not incapable of driving," Sarek replied even as Amanda grinned.

"That's handy to know.  I should have figured that you knew how to drive since you were behind the control panel before," she said as she peered over the stairway landing toward the parked flitters.  "It would be best if we left this area and drove further along the peninsula road."

"Very well," Sarek said.  "Amanda, I am curious," he said as he followed her slight form to the parking area.  "How did you get to the lighthouse without renting a flitter?"

"It wasn't easy," she said with a shy turn toward him.  Moments later, she turned back, her face pink with embarrassment.  "I'm supposed to be on the tour with the `foot-tapping' fellow and the others who were in the tower.  It was the only way I could find to get out here without drawing too much attention to my real motive."

"You told your brothers that you were taking a tour?" Sarek asked, a somewhat incredulous timbre overtaking his usual calm tone.

"Yes, and the shocking part was that they believed me," she said with a self-conscious laugh.  "I told them that it was part of my birthday present to myself, you know, to recall my childhood and all that malarkey.  The funny thing is that they each contributed to pay for my passage here.  If they had any idea of the real reason I'm here." Her sentence trailed off as Sarek raised a curious eyebrow at her story.

"What is 'malarkey'?" he asked. 

"Oh, that just means nonsense," she replied glibly as Sarek keyed open the flitter.

"Amanda," Sarek said as the passenger door slid open.  "I am curious.  What is your 'real' reason for requesting that we meet?"

"I think you know," she said as her face became somber.  "We have much to discuss."

"Agreed," he stated as the flitter engine activated.  Amanda had placed the basket in the storage area directly behind her seat, and sank back into the warmth of the sun-warmed velour.  She shivered a moment, taken aback by the fact that her uncovered back was quite cold.

"I'll need to put on my jacket when we get out again," she said conversationally as she directed Sarek to turn toward Provincetown.  "I'm no longer used to the cooler temperatures around here."

"You are purposefully changing the subject," Sarek said. 

Amanda sharply inhaled as his accusation even as she knew he was only speaking the truth. "Yes, I suppose I am," she reluctantly granted.  "I'm not sure where to start."

"Did you speak with your father about the bonding agreement?"

Amanda slumped in the seat as she thought back to the trip to Calais.  "No, although I did go to the clinic to visit him.  It wasn't much of a visit," she admitted, her tone and manner solemn.  "The doctors determined that the synaptic nerve damage was more extensive than they originally believed.  He's still in a coma."

"That is regrettable," Sarek remarked as he considered his morose passenger.  "What is the prognosis?"

"His personal physician is still confident that the damage can be reversed," Amanda said as she turned to look out at the sand dunes that lined the roadway.  Realizing what she was doing, she turned back to face Sarek.  "Hopefully, the prognosis is a full recovery, but it may take months."  The corner of Amanda's mouth lifted despite what she considered possibly misplaced optimism and a total disregard for the facts.  "Where there's life, there's hope – another proverb to add to your list."

"I shall do so," Sarek willingly determined.  "What of your mother and brothers?"

"Oh." Amanda began, but then paused.  'What of them?' she wanted to ask.  While her brothers had been duped into allowing her to travel to Provincetown, her mother was enraged by her decision to leave Calais when she did.  Their argument over Amanda's decision to leave had been bitter and only deepened the schism between them.  Amanda had seen no reason to remain at the clinic with her father when he was unresponsive.  Maura had demanded that she sit with her at John's bedside hour after hour.  By the third day of their vigil, Amanda spoke with the doctor on duty and requested that Matt be notified when John awoke.  She'd gone to the room to gather her personal effects, and that was when Maura had denigrated her to the point of tears.  Guilt only inflamed her temper as Amanda lashed back, angrily mentioning that neither Matt nor Dan was there, and she would return when their dad was out of his coma.  Maura's parting remark, that she would ban Amanda from the clinic, resonated with the teen for the entire shuttle trip back to Boston.  Perhaps Maura was right, maybe she was so selfish that her dad wouldn't want to speak with her.

"Amanda?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the disconcerted young woman said.  "My mother and brothers are just the same.  They never change."  Suddenly jabbing her finger at the windshield, Amanda leaned forward.  "There, to the left.  There's a one-lane road that leads toward the ocean.  There's a beach just below those outcroppings that used to be a fairly deserted spot."

Sarek turned the flitter onto the barely recognizable road that was overgrown with beach grass and appeared to be more of a division between two sand dunes than a pathway.  "This is correct?" he queried as the flitter's directional system protested.

"Yes," Amanda replied.  "You want privacy... you're about to get it."

The flitter's directional system continuously chimed its disapproval of their route as Sarek cautiously forged ahead.  Amanda could feel her anxiety level rising as the barely marked path disappeared and reappeared before them.  The roadway veered sharply left, and as the correctional guidance system roared to life, Amanda began to have second doubts about their ability to get to the beach at all.  Sarek was skillfully overriding the safety warnings and alerts, but he had to slow the flitter to a crawl to navigate through the sand.

"Maybe we should turn around," Amanda suggested as the nose of the flitter dipped precipitously toward the edge of the road.  Gasping, she leaned back in her seat even as Sarek turned the shuddering vehicle back to the correct coordinates.

"There is no place to do so," he stated as he fought the flitter's internal controls.  "The roadway is too narrow."

Just as Amanda began to fear that she'd had Sarek turn down the wrong road, it opened up to an expanse of deserted beachfront that caused her to sigh with relief.  Even as the isolated spot came into sight, the flitter's computer chimed another warning.

"Oh, just shut up," Amanda said in annoyance.  "We're well aware that this road isn't on your map."

"To converse with an inanimate object is not logical," Sarek said as Amanda turned to glower at him.

"I'm aware of that, too," she replied with a huff.  "It just makes me feel better."

"How can such verbalization improve your emotional state?" he asked as Amanda rolled her eyes.

"I could either say nothing and allow my frustration to mount, or I could say something," the young woman said as Sarek parked the flitter near a rock outcropping that jutted out of the pearl colored sands.  "Expressing myself vocally is much better than hitting the flitter's control panel with my fist, which was my second option."

Amanda didn't see the flummoxed look that followed her remark given that she had swung around in her seat and was busy retrieving the picnic basket.  They hiked down a gently sloping incline to a narrow stretch of sand that merged seamlessly into the ocean, the continuous rolling waves offering a soothing milieu for their picnic.

"This is good," the young woman said as she sat down cross-legged, the basket placed in front of her.

"May I assist you?" Sarek asked as Amanda pulled a red and white checked tablecloth from the open top.

"No, just have a seat and I'll have mid-meal ready in a jiffy."

"A jiffy?"

"With great expediency," she offhandedly offered as the basket was emptied of its contents.  "I wasn't sure what your preferences were, so I had to guess."

The feast included sun-dried tomato salad, freshly baked pita bread stuffed with a spicy hummus filling, and a selection of fruits that included sliced apples, oranges, and pears.  Amanda had also chosen to include a mix of raw vegetables with a soy-ginger sauce that Ming had shown her how to make the last time she'd visited.  Also included were several containers of spring water and lemon flavored soda, but her crowning achievement had been the acquisition of a bottle of vintage white wine.  Dan had bought the bottle in Calais and had given it to his sister under the auspices of celebrating her birthday.  Personally, Amanda was convinced that he'd hoped to get her drunk and laugh at her inebriated condition. 

"This is a most generous repast," Sarek offered placidly as Amanda positioned the plates on the tablecloth.

"Thank you," she responded cheerfully.  "If there's anything that you find inedible, please let me know and I won't prepare it in the future." Amanda's eyebrows came down as a sudden thought worried her.  "Are you allergic to anything?"

"I have been through the required allergen sensitivity testing and should have no difficulties with the food stuffs offered.  You are planning a future?" he asked inquisitively as her featured darkened into a blush.

"Ah… of course," she murmured as she pulled some clear colored glasses from the basket.  "If I didn't, that would imply that I didn't expect a long life, wouldn't it?"

"I speak of a life together," Sarek replied.  He tilted his head as her blush deepened.

"I just mean that I'm planning to be around for quite awhile," she whispered, her ability to speak threatened by Sarek's mannerism.  Was he trying to fluster her yet again?  It seemed to be his goal in life to see if he could get her to blush.

"How long are you planning to live?" he asked. 

Amanda couldn't prevent a laugh at the question. "Are you kidding?" she responded as Sarek austerely observed her glee.  "As long as I can."

"Statistically, human females are capable of living approximately 120.2 years," Sarek noted.

"I see," Amanda retorted.  "In other words, I should live about another 103.2 years."

"Statistically," Sarek agreed as Amanda shook her head in dismay.

"You know something," she said, her gentle smile softening her words, "it doesn't really matter how long I think I'll live.  I could die today or in one hundred years.  Who knows?  The future's not ours to see."  She suddenly began to giggle, which puzzled Sarek.

"Is there something humorous about your statement?" he asked as Amanda handed him a container of water.

"I just realized I was quoting a song," she mirthfully replied.  "A very old song about not worrying about the future."

"Can you sing this song?" he said as Amanda vehemently shook her head.

"Oh, no," she insisted with a chuckle, "I can't sing."

"You are incapable of it?"

"I could warble a few notes, but I'm not a singer," she declared with a smile.  "Aren't we supposed to be quiet during meals?  I believe we're ready to eat."  Quickly placing the foods on his plate, she silently hoped that he would take the hint and not ask her to sing again. 

As they ate, the sounds of the rushing waves crashing against the sand kept the lack of conversation from becoming uncomfortable.  A group of sandpipers came skittering close to them in anticipation of an offered crumb or two, but left disappointed after a few minutes.  Amanda watched with amusement as Sarek did his utmost to appear not to be inspecting the foods she'd prepared.  She allowed her eyes to wander to the horizon several times to allocate time for the opening of the pita bread pocket and the barest nibble on a piece of carrot.  While she had been concerned about whether he could tolerate Terran cuisine, Sarek ate his meal with no complaints and actually consumed more than she'd expected.

"A most satisfactory meal," Sarek announced as Amanda collected his now-empty plate.

"Thank you," she replied with a relieved grin.  "Would you like anything else?  I still have some more fruit."

"No, I am sated," he said. 

"Very good," Amanda commented as she wondered why her face felt so hot.  The hummus filling had been rather spicy, but she didn't think it had to do with the food.  Even innocent comments didn't sound so innocent when Sarek said them, she thought.

"Now that we have refreshed ourselves, it is time to discuss matters of a personal nature," Sarek began, startling Amanda with his straightforward approach.

"I agree," she decisively stated, matching his tone as she unfolded her crossed legs and stretched them out in front of her. "Where shall we begin this time?  We seem to start talking, and then something distracts or interrupts us."

"That is true," he agreed. 

When he said nothing further, Amanda took in a deep breath of salty air and sighed. "What are the rules for this discussion?" she asked.  "I would assume that we should be able to ask each other anything."

"I agree," Sarek concurred as he adjusted his cloak around his shoulder blades.  Amanda had already retrieved her jacket from the basket and put it on.  The weather was cooler than usual for an autumn day, and the wind speed had picked up since their arrival.

"May I begin?" she shyly queried.  At Sarek's affirmative nod, she locked eyes with him. "Tell me why you're divorced."

Sarek blinked in surprise at the request, but he quickly recovered.  "T'Rea, my first wife and bondsmate, wished to become an adept at Gol.  A bonded individual cannot be accepted as an adept; therefore, her decision by default ended our marriage."

"If she hadn't gone to Gol, would you still be married to her?"

"Yes," he replied evenly as he noted the dismay on Amanda's face.  It was the truth, but it obviously wasn't the answer she'd hoped to hear.

"Why didn't you ask her to stay, then?"

"Her reason for dissolving the marriage was honorable," Sarek countered steadily.  "There was no logical basis for opposition."

"But," Amanda paused as she tilted her head in confusion.  "But, if you didn't want her to go, why didn't you explain."

"Explain what?"

"Explain that." she stopped as she realized her mistake.  "I'm sorry," she murmured.  "I was going to say that you should have told her how you felt."

"Illogical," Sarek tightly stated.  "Vulcans have no emotions."

"None at all?" Amanda inquired.  "I'm not so sure I believe that."

"You should, for it is the truth," Sarek maintained.

"T'Rea's choice to leave didn't upset you at all?"

She noticed the almost involuntary swallow that Sarek attempted to cover by ducking his head. 

"No," he replied as he took a sudden interest in a seashell near his right foot.  "Her decision was logical."

"Logical for her," Amanda concluded.  "What about you?"

"I do not understand."

"What about the fact that you were her bondsmate?"

Sarek's brow creased as he pondered her question.  "What is the context of your query?"

"Why didn't she think about how her decision would affect you?"

Again, Amanda noted a hesitation in him that caused her stomach to tighten into anxious knots.  There was no doubt about it in her mind.he wasn't over T'Rea.

"What is wrong?" Sarek inquired as he watched Amanda's face cloud over.

"You still love her, don't you?"

"Vulcans do not ascribe to that emotion."

"Then," she forced herself to take a breath before she said something she might regret.  "Then, tell me the truth.  If T'Rea contacted you this very minute and told you she had left Gol to return to you, would you take her back?"

"That is an improbable scenario," he affirmed even as the answer presented itself to him instantly.  He hadn't previously considered what he would do if T'Rea ever contacted him at some future point in time. While the odds were exceptionally low that he would ever see her again, there was no doubt that he knew exactly what he would say.

"Well?  What if it happened?"

Amanda braced herself.  Even as the seconds ticked by, she sought some form of strength within herself to withstand what Sarek might say.

"If that were to occur," he slowly replied, "I would be compelled to inform her that there would be no rebonding."

"You… would not?" Amanda said as she reflexively smiled.

"No," he said as he held her gaze with his dark hazel eyes.  "I would not due to changed circumstances within my life."

"Oh."  Her mind screamed for her to say something else, but a strong gust of wind caused her to shiver. 

Sarek raised his left eyebrow at her action. "Your jacket appears to be too thin for the current weather conditions," he noted as the blustery assault continued. 

"No, I'm fine," Amanda said half-heartedly.  Sarek appeared to be lost in thought for a moment as he considered some unspoken matter.  The tablecloth had been folded and placed back into the picnic basket, and the only distance separating them was a meter stretch of sand. 

"It is illogical to ignore ones state of well-being.  If you were to sit closer, we could share body warmth," Sarek stated.  Amanda waited a moment to make sure that her brain had correctly interpreted what had been said. 

"Oh…that's…" she stopped.  Was she really about to tell him no?  Was she crazy?  "Well, I'm all for logic, and that does sound quite… logical," she weakly concluded as her heart pounded heavily in her chest. 

Sarek was giving her a quizzical look. "Is something amiss?"

"No!  No." she repeated in a calmer tone.  She glanced over at the picnic basket.  "I brought along a bottle of wine."  Wincing, Amanda wondered where that stupid comment came from as Sarek edged his way over to her.

"Did you wish to imbibe?" he asked.  Something about the serious manner of his question caused her to chuckle.

"No," she truthfully replied.  "I'd like to keep my wits about me, thank you.  You may have some, if you'd like."

"No," Sarek declared as Amanda shivered again. 

Now sitting next to her, he unclasped his cloak and wrapped it around them both.  Her sigh caused him to glance down at her. "Is this acceptable?" he asked.

"Oh… quite," she distractedly answered.  Acceptable? her mind shrieked.  Was he kidding?  "This is quite acceptable," she serenely answered even as her thoughts were flying along at warp speed.  Her intellect did its best to demand that she not make too much of her current position.  Sarek had analyzed the state of affairs and had arrived at a sensible solution.  Yes, that was it.  The snag was that it wasn't her mind that was now putty in his hands.

"Are you warmer now?" Sarek asked.

"Oh, you bet," she murmured languorously as she leaned in closer, "Much warmer."

Try as she might, Amanda found herself unable to focus on anything other than the wonderful cocoon of Vulcan material that she found herself in.  The fact that she and Sarek were in such close physical proximity seemed to act as a sieve that emptied her mind of any sentient thought.

"What does 'you bet' mean?" Sarek asked, shaking her from her stupor.

"Huh?" she incoherently murmured.  Taking in a deep breath while attempting not to appear to be snuggling even closer to him, she cleared her throat.  "It means that I'm in complete agreement.  I'm warmer."  Moving from warm to hot, she thought wickedly.

"Ah.  I understand," he replied somberly as he glanced down at her now still form.  "Do you wish to ask another question?"

"Yes," she unhurriedly said as she took in a steadying breath.  What WAS that wonderful musky Vulcan scent that had the ability to render her helpless?  Was it a pheromone?  What could it be?  She was beginning to mentally put together a formula of known aromas that came close… one part piquant cinnamon, one part the deep woods after a thunderstorm.   

"Amanda?"

"Oh, the question," she stammered as she tried to focus.  "I would assume that you have no bad habits, such as snoring, nail biting, addictions… nothing so illogical."

"That is correct."

"What of your health?" she inquired.  "No diseases or serious illnesses?"

"No," he supplied as he felt her arm shift.  "Are you uncomfortable?"

"No, no," she immediately insisted.  "I'm just… fine."  Who was she kidding, she thought with an impious grin.  She was absolutely savoring every second of contact and wondered if it would be wrong to pray for an old fashioned nor'easter.  If Sarek thought the wind gusts were enough to offer his cloak, what would happen during a snowstorm?

"Do you have any further questions?"

"Actually, I do," she said.  "What about my education?  Am I going to be able to go back to Cal?"

"That is your choice," Sarek offered. 

Frowning, Amanda sharply gazed up. "That doesn't sound too encouraging," she insisted.  "I need to return to classes next week or risk losing my scholarship.  The dean was kind enough to allow me a week off, but that's it."

"I am aware of your present educational deficiency," he said, somehow taking the sting out of his words with a raised eyebrow.

"That 'deficiency' will only be corrected with time," Amanda confidently said, but then her expression darkened.  "Is there any reason that I can't complete my studies at Cal?"

Sarek's slow intake of breath alerted Amanda to a problem before he spoke.  "There is the likelihood that you may have to complete your requirements elsewhere."

"Where?" she implored softly, although she believed that she knew.

"Your academic record would allow you to enroll at a Vulcan educational institution," he asserted as he felt Amanda's arm twitch against his.

"I'd rather stay at Cal."

"That may not be possible," Sarek replied.  "The timing of your final year would impinge upon your required voyage to Vulcan."

"My required voyage," Amanda repeated, instantly disliking the changed tenor of their conversation.

"Yes," he tenaciously stated.  "While a bonding ceremony does not demand the return to the ancestral grounds, a marriage ceremony does."

"I… see," she replied as her voice lowered in displeasure.  "That's another thing we have to talk about.  Why is it that I'm the one making all the sacrifices?"

"I do not understand," Sarek said, puzzled by the way she suddenly wrapped her arms around her drawn up legs.  He hadn't minded her leaning against him, but now she pulled away.

"I think you do," she whispered, annoyed at the welling emotions that threatened to surface.  "Think about this... I've been manipulated in some form or fashion by Vulcans for the past four years of my life.  While it's true that it was all perceived as beneficial, I'm wondering what would have happened if none of it had taken place."

"You would have preferred that we never met," he inferred by her statement as she shook her head in mounting exasperation.

"No, no, that's not what I mean at all," Amanda insisted.  "What I mean is that I may not be who your father or you believe I am.  I'm not very brave, I run away and hide from problems, I'm dreadfully temperamental, I'm somewhat egotistical."  With a self-depreciating groan, she continued.  "To be perfectly honest, I'm not a stellar example of the human race.  Your father could have chosen better."

"My father believes he has selected well," Sarek contended.

"And what do you think?"

"I shall reserve judgment until we have concluded our conversation," he said. 

Amanda glared up at the hawk like profile. "What exactly does that mean?" she sharply retorted.

"I believe that the purpose of our meeting today is to determine whether we would be compatible."

"Does it matter?" Amanda grumbled even as she chastised herself for sounding so negative.  "What I mean is this: does it matter if the decision has already been made for us?"

Sarek remained silent as a lone gull flew across the bright midday sky.  Amanda wondered about his stone like pretense.  Was it a confirmation that he agreed that they had no alternative but to marry?

"It would be illogical to protest," Sarek ultimately said.  "To do so would indicate a lack of parental respect."

"Let's not get into parental respect," Amanda tersely said.  "Remember that my dad only agreed to the bonding to pay for my tuition."

"I understand that," Sarek insisted, his level tone not alleviating the tension he sensed in Amanda.  Ethically, the Federation telepathic privacy regulations and Vulcan codes of conduct stated that no being had the right to 'read' another without their permission.  While his mental shields were in place, Sarek was perturbed by his lack of restraint as Amanda leaned against him, her exposed thoughts open to him.

"You said that the bonding ceremony didn't require a return to Vulcan," she stated, shaking Sarek from his moral conflict.  "Does the marriage ceremony take place at the time of pon farr?"

He briefly wondered if any other Vulcan would believe the effortlessness with which they discussed such extremely intimate matters.  "The rite occurs at the appointed place upon the onset of a Vulcan's first pon farr," he answered.  "The rite takes place prior to the Verification."

"I've never heard of the Verification," Amanda curiously said.

"It is required at the time of one's first pon farr, or if one has a new bondsmate."

She waited a few moments, but with nothing further offered, Amanda gazed expectantly at the Vulcan next to her.  "And?" she asked.  "What is it?"

"The Verification is the last required step prior to Seclusion."

"That's not helpful," Amanda tightly stated.

"Upon the completion of the marriage ceremony, the invited family and guests leave the appointed place," Sarek clarified as he lowered his chin to better observe her reaction.  "The matriarch and another witness verify that the couple physically consummate the marriage." 

A very pregnant pause occurred as Amanda's face drained of color. "Wait a second," Amanda slowly said as her jaw dropped.  "You mean that… someone... watches…"

"It is traditional," Sarek quietly offered.

"In front of witnesses?"

"Only two."

"Oh, well, that makes me feel so much better," Amanda sarcastically offered as she buried her head into her hands.

"I am pleased that you understand," Sarek replied.

"I was being cynical," she murmured as she kept her head down.

"Ah."  He waited a moment to see if she would regain her composure.  "Am I to understand that there is no Verification ceremony in traditional human weddings?"

"You know that there isn't!" she fumed, but then narrowed her eyes as she noticed the amused glimmer of light in his eyes.  "Are you teasing me?  Is there really such a thing as a Verification?"

"There is," he emphatically maintained.

"The closest we humans get to something like that is a drunken honeymoon and a vid camera," Amanda commented as she rolled her eyes.

Another group of sandpipers had skittishly approached, their appearance akin to a band of beggars.  The sight made Amanda chuckle as Sarek waited for an explanation.

"They're used to the tourists feeding them.  It's too bad we can't," Amanda said as she shooed them away with the wave of her right hand.  "If we did, they'd never leave us alone."

The birds took the hint and flew off, once again leaving the deserted beach to the couple.

"Amanda," Sarek said after a few minutes of silence, "did you request my presence here today to discuss the bonding ceremony?  Our conversation would appear to corroborate that you wish to ascertain what is expected."

"Of course," she replied in what she hoped was a calm tone, although her voice wavered slightly.  "Today is my eighteenth birthday, and my dad did agree to the whole thing."

"Do you agree?"

Swallowing hard, Amanda tried to instantaneously arrange her jumbled feelings and thoughts into some order… something had to start making sense to her.  Her first impulse was to tell Sarek that she was in complete agreement with the bonding, but another strong willed part of her mind protested the entire event as staged and politically motivated.  Their dialogue involving ceremonies, verifications, and seclusion didn't help.

"Sarek," she finally said after a few moments, "I wish I knew what to say.  This morning, when I first opened my eyes, I waited for some newfound wisdom or gems of insight to flood my consciousness.  Where is the maturity that I supposedly now possess that I didn't yesterday?  If anything, I feel more insecure and confused than before."  Sighing, she gazed out to the ocean.

"Maturity is not something that occurs instantly, but is a process," Sarek replied.  Following Amanda's line of sight to the horizon, he considered his own maturity.  Soran had been correct in questioning his insistence on traveling at this time.  He was the Vulcan ambassador to Earth, and yet he had allowed a personal matter to supersede his management of official duties.  How had his logic so failed him?

"I understand that maturity really isn't an age," Amanda responded as she wondered at Sarek's still demeanor.  She leaned back against his sleeved arm, curious to hear what he'd say.

"Have you become acclimated to your environment?" he suddenly asked. 

It took Amanda a moment to understand his question.  Biting her bottom lip slightly, she innocently shrugged her shoulder. "Actually no.  I'm still chilled," she said, and to prove her point, dramatically shivered.  "It's a terrible thing to not have Vulcan biocontrol.  We may have to stay under your cloak all day."

"Indeed," Sarek drolly intoned.  "You consider lingering here a practical solution to your dilemma?"

"Absolutely," Amanda said, but she couldn't keep up the façade.  Laughing, she reluctantly stood as Sarek collected his cloak and shook out the sand.

"Now that our picnic is concluded, what else did you have planned for today?" he asked as Amanda picked up the basket.

"I've been thinking," she said as she headed toward the flitter.  "Let me put the picnic basket away, and we can take a walk along the waterfront.  I'd like for us to continue with our conversation."

"That is what you desire to do?" he asked upon her return. 

With a pleased smile, she nodded. "Yes, if you have no objections, and no more surprises like the Verification."

"I have no objections," he confirmed.

"Good, then let's go," Amanda replied as she kicked off her canvas shoes.

"What are you doing?" Sarek asked as she tied the laces of the shoes together.

"We'll be following the water's edge toward Provincetown," she explained as she slung one shoe over her left shoulder blade while the other dangled in front.  "I prefer to go barefooted.  Why don't you take off your shoes?"

"I see no logic in removing my footwear," he stiffly replied as Amanda fairly skipped toward the ever-changing line between land and water. 

"Oh, it's colder than I expected," she gasped as a wave hit against her bare skin.  "In any case, it's too cold for a Vulcan," she yelled over the roaring waves.

Sarek's fleeting expression of concern changed to relief as he observed the way Amanda turned to wade back closer to the shoreline.  The bottom hem of her Capri's were already soaked from the sporadic rise and fall of the tide against her legs. 

"This way," she loudly ordered as she splashed along.  With a sigh masked by the sounds of the ocean, he followed.

"Tell me something," Amanda requested solemnly as she plodded along in the wet sand.  They had walked for over fifteen minutes with only the ocean and chattering birdcalls as background noise.

Sarek focused his attention to Amanda as she cleared her throat.  "What shall I tell you?" he inquired.

"This Verification." she began, and then sighed.  "Is that just wishful thinking on your part?  You have to be pulling my leg, right?"

"'Wishful thinking?'  'Pulling your leg?'" he quizzically asked.

"You can't be serious."

"I am always serious."

"I'm not so sure about that, but I suppose it would be rather silly of you to make up something like the Verification," Amanda reluctantly concluded as she re-entered the water to just above her ankles.  The section of rocky bottom that had driven her from the water gave way to softer silt and sand.

"It would be illogical to advise you of an event that was fallacious," Sarek replied as he observed the pensive look and nervous demeanor of the young woman.  First, he was dull; now, Amanda thought him 'silly'.  Most strange.

"But, I don't see the logic in such an… upsetting tradition," she hesitantly offered.

"The Verification dates to Pre-Reform times, when it was not uncommon for marriages to be strictly politically arranged," he explained.  "Such unions strengthened certain Family and Clan allegiances; however, they were essentially childless due to ancestral concerns about inheritance and lineage.  After decades of such arrangements, a statistically noteworthy decline occurred in the population.  Family matriarchs clandestinely met and determined that the problem was such that drastic measures had to be imposed.  That is when the Verification was first introduced."

"But that was then," Amanda reminded him as they rounded a section of rock that jutted out into the ocean, allowed only a half meter of dry beach to exist.  "The Vulcan population has been stable for centuries."

"Prior to the time of Surak, devastating wars were commonly fought for emotional reasons," he said, undeterred by her reasoning.  "The tradition of the Verification is a reminder of our violent, emotional past, not simply a method of ensuring a continuous population."

"I'd think that there should be a less embarrassing way to remember the past," Amanda replied plainly as she shook her head.  "I'm still not convinced that you're not making the whole thing up."

"It is an actual part of the ceremony," Sarek insisted.  "Are there not human traditions that are analogous?"

"There aren't any like the Verification that I'm aware of," she declared as she absently kicked at the waves as they passed.  "We do have some odd wedding customs, but I'm not aware of any that involve voyeurism by nosy relatives."

"It is not voyeurism, and." he paused, causing Amanda to turn to see the hint of discomfort.  "It is not spoken of."

"Within the family, all is silent," she quoted.  "Yes, I'm aware of the Vulcan privacy laws."  Returning to dry land, Amanda slipped on her shoes as they continued to walk.  "Are you trying to dissuade me from the bonding?"

"It would be deceitful to bond without absolute disclosure," Sarek sonorously replied.  The beachfront had widened, and they were no longer alone as groups of last minute beachgoers dotting the landscape with beach towels, umbrellas and bodies that soaked up the afternoon sun. 

"You're confident that I'll bond with you," Amanda commented as a group of rosy-cheeked children ran screaming into an oncoming wave. 

Sarek stopped walking and gazed at the young woman next to him. "I believe there is a logical basis for our anticipated bonding," he confidently declared.  Amanda blinked in surprise even as she put her hands on her hips and faced him.

"Logical?  This I have got to hear," she gently teased as she noticed that the children had already returned to the shoreline, giggling and waiting for the next big wave.

"Indeed," Sarek said, his lecturing tone causing Amanda to smirk.  "Logic dictates that 'The needs.'"

"Stop right there," Amanda insisted firmly as she folded her arms across her chest.  "If you dare tell me that marrying me is based on the 'needs of the many', I'll cuff you into next week."

"That is impossible," Sarek innocently informed the fuming human before him.  "I merely point out the logic in a bonding that strengthens the relationship between Earth and Vulcan."

"Which brings us back to the diplomatically driven reason your father originally intended," Amanda said, her expression changed to one of hurt.  "I can't marry for that reason, and I won't.  You'll have to do better than that."

"Better?" he repeated as the children, who were now behind them, ran around the couple and flew headlong into another wave.  Their youthful exuberance seemed a counterpoint to the serious nature of the couple's exchange.

"I thought that there was something more..." Amanda said, allowing her sentence to trail off.

"Elucidate," he requested.

"More, as in a." she bit her lip as she struggled to answer his request for additional information.  What could she tell him?  That she had decided, after knowing him for only two weeks, that she wanted him to say that there was some deeper emotion—some unknown attraction—that was drawing them together?  That is wasn't just a matter of an arrangement made years earlier? 

"Amanda?"

"I know." she mumbled as her thoughts darkened.  "Maybe I'm asking for too much, too soon."

"I do not understand," Sarek curiously replied, but Amanda had such a dismayed look on her face that he decided to wait until a more agreeable time to press the issue.

The growing swell of tourists acted as a barrier to their shoreline walk, and the couple migrated away from the ocean toward a shaded snack concessions area that was sparsely populated with a few thirsty patrons.

After a short wait in line, Amanda became the proud recipient of a sugar cone filled with vanilla ice cream topped with chocolate sprinkles, while Sarek agreed to try a bottle of lemon flavored water. 

"I'm so glad this place is open today.  I thought it might be closed since the tourist season is almost over," she offered as an explanation even as she did everything within her power to keep the ice cream from melting down the sides of the cone.  The afternoon sun was beating down through a clear sapphire sky, while the wind gusts had died down to a gentle breeze.  Music from a lone guitarist wafted through the air and added to the now serene feeling Amanda experienced deep within her.

"I have seen holopics of guitars and heard several compositions by Earth's preeminent musicians," Sarek said as the bearded, deeply tanned man began to strum another soothing melody.  Standing on a wood deck among those who appreciated the man's talent, Amanda was struck by how interested Sarek was in the music.  They enjoyed several different musical pieces until the man, with an apologetic laugh, admitted that he was hungry and was taking a break.

The couple returned to the beachfront as the waves beat a steady rhythm against the sand.  As they talked, Amanda came to the uneasy realization that she was comfortable—too comfortable—talking with Sarek about her family and life.  If he objected to her using him for a sounding board, he gave no indication of it as he offered her a glimpse at his own family.  She already liked Skon and that impression increased as Sarek glowingly spoke of the Vulcan.  After awhile, Amanda even began to believe that, with time, T'Lara might accept her.  Sarek's brother, Silek, seemed to be quite different from his sibling in that he had no inclination to leave Vulcan.  Although he wasn't family, Amanda couldn't prevent a giggling fit at Sarek's description of Soran's unsteady departure on the moped. 

As gulls floated over them on the winds, their conversation shifted to Solkar, Sarek's grandfather who was former Ambassador to Earth decades earlier.  It was that conversation that most intrigued her as Sarek admitted that his grandfather's diplomatic career had ended due to a choice, a choice between duty and family.  A shuttle accident had seriously injured both Skon and his mother while Solkar was off-planet at a diplomatic event.  The Vulcan had immediately left the event to return to his home despite the insistence of the Vulcan High council that he not.  Solkar nursed his son and wife back to health while his action spawned a debate within the council chamber.  With apparently no other option presented, the council labeled him ineffectual due to his choice of family over duty and removed him from his post.  Another rising diplomat named Sorel took his place, and the former ambassador never left Vulcan again.

"That's awful," Amanda vigorously insisted as they walked along the water's edge.

"In what respect?"

"In terms of a choice," she argued.  "I can't understand why the council would remove your grandfather."

"One must choose that which is most beneficial to the whole," Sarek intoned.  "It was not logical to choose to leave the diplomatic meeting.  My grandfather was not a healer."

"But he wanted to be there," Amanda explained as she thought about Sarek's comment.  "I completely understand his wish to be there for his family.  I want to be there for my father, too, but in his current state I can't do anything for him.  Maybe that's wrong, but I will be there when he wakes up.  That's the way it should be.  A family sticks together in the worst of times."

"Several months of careful negotiations were lost due to my grandfather's decision," Sarek added as Amanda loudly exhaled.

"So?  Solkar chose his family, and I think that's a far better choice than duty."  She smiled at a thought.  "Um... Sarek?"

"Yes?" he replied.

"If what you say is true, and I have no doubt it is, then why did you come to my rescue at the dance?  Wasn't it the job of the security officers to take care of the skirmish?  Why did you interfere?"

"I did not interfere," he claimed with a resolute tone.

"Yes, you did," Amanda disagreed with a light lilt to her voice.  "You did because you made a choice, an illogical choice."

She nearly laughed triumphantly as they continued along in silence for several minutes.  Had she actually won an argument?

"I acted in the only logical manner possible," he maintained, ruining Amanda's sense of victory.  "If I had not acted, the inebriated man might have injured you.  The security officers were not close enough to take immediate action."

"But they were almost there," she disputed.  "They were only seconds away from grabbing the man."

"My action was still logical," Sarek intoned in his resonant voice.  Amanda opened her mouth to argue further, but stopped as she considered the likelihood of Sarek admitting he did something illogical.  It wasn't going to happen, and she couldn't dispute the truth that she was greatly pleased that he had come to her rescue.  If he could make that logical, then what else would he claim fell under that category?  Would he explain his belief that bonding with her was logical?  If Sarek insisted upon calling the bonding politically based, would she have the wherewithal to strenuously argue the point?  Everything in her heart seemed to lead her to one conclusion, but if he couldn't give her more than a pat Vulcan response, she'd have to leave.  It was reckless, dangerous, in a way, how vulnerable she felt.  Past relationships hadn't prepared her for how one sunny day at the beach could leave her so confused.  What bothered her more than anything else was the mounting dread that she wouldn't be able to resist whatever Sarek said, or whatever he wanted to do.  Where was that indomitable Grayson spirit?  Where was her backbone when it came to this particular Vulcan?

"Shall we continue along the beach?" Sarek asked as Amanda swept her errant thoughts away.

"If you wish.  What time do you need to be back in Boston for the shuttle?"

"My next scheduled meeting at the embassy does not occur until tomorrow; therefore, I am considering staying in the Boston area until early morning," he answered, his voice's rich timbre somehow causing butterflies in Amanda's stomach.

"Oh, I see," she faintly said.  "That's good, actually.  I have no plans for the rest of the day, either.  Matt and Dan both had to work late, and Ming is going to an art exhibit opening."

"Then we may continue to talk," Sarek offered as he watched Amanda's quick nod of agreement. 

"Yes… talk," she said.  Yes, she thought, just talk, nothing more.  Not that there would be anything more, but damn it, why was this happening!  Why did her mind keep twisting every comment and look into more than Sarek intended?  It wasn't his fault that she was behaving like… like… a love struck teen.  She wrinkled her nose as she considered the horrid image.  Why would an educated, impeccably dressed Vulcan who, oh yes, just happened to be ambassador to Earth want to associate with a girl who was still in college?  A girl who wasn't even born when he'd completed his upper level studies?  Except for Skon's insistence, would Sarek be there at all?  Sighing, Amanda mentally shoved the discouraging thoughts away for later contemplation.  If she deliberated too much on the absurdity of it all, there was a fair chance that she might ruin what was turning out to be a wonderful day.  Sarek wasn't objecting to being with her, and right now, she just wanted to blissfully enjoy the rest of the afternoon.

--------


"Sennar, I shall speak with thee."

"Certainly, my friend," Skon's former aide readily answered as he paused the program on his monitor screen.

"I have been contacted by several members of the Vulcan High council," Skon said with no preamble.  "They have informed me of your decision to remain at the embassy as my son's senior aide."

"That is correct."

"What prompted such an action?" the former ambassador said as he carefully considered his friend's relaxed stance.  "Soran has served well as Sarek's aide."

"My assessment was based entirely on the issue of knowledge, my friend," Sennar replied with a certain degree of aloofness.  "The diplomatic training of Soran has been limited to one post, while I have served in several key posts.  The council agreed with me."

"That is true," Skon admitted even as he tilted his head slightly.  "There is no other reason for your decision to stay?"

"None that I am aware of," the aide smoothly answered.  "I come to serve, and I trust that your son will value the logic in my remaining on Earth as the ambassador's aide."

"Sarek shall benefit from your presence," the Vulcan said as he raised a curious brow.  "Forgive this question, my friend, but what other motive do you have to remain?"

"None," Sennar insisted.  "I have no ulterior motive but to serve."

"Very well," the former Ambassador said.  "I trust that the issue of monetary reparation will not be mentioned to Sarek."  Skon observed the nervous twitch of Sennar's lip just as the aide controlled the action. 

"I do not understand, my friend," the aide slowly claimed as he watched the glimmer of controlled anger in Skon's eyes.

"Do not interfere with my family, Sennar," the Vulcan silkily said, his dark eyes boring into the aide.  "To do so would be a grave mistake.  I am aware of the payment to the Grayson's.  Perhaps you are wondering why my son is even now speaking with his intended bondsmate, Amanda?  You are a disgraceful conniver, Sennar, and an even poorer judge of character," Skon replied evenly, his tone neutral.  "I only spoke with Amanda's mother once, and I would not have haphazardly sent her the credits.  She undoubtedly took the offered repayment and used it for the medical expenses of her husband.  One cannot fault her loyalty to him; however, I must question her maternal relationship with her daughter.  Since the mother has chosen, I must assume that the bonding has been agreed to.  Do not attempt to sabotage the bonding or marriage of my son and Amanda again.  If it does occur, the loss of your position will be the least of your worries."

"A threat, my friend?" Sennar asked, his facial expression blank.

"No, I do not make threats," Skon calmly stated.  "I must confess to surprise at your lack of knowledge about my next position."

"Your next position?" Sennar curiously repeated.

"Indeed.  I am now a member of the Vulcan High council."  Skon raised his left eyebrow as the aide blinked back his surprise.  "Perhaps, once I have established myself, I shall have need of your service again."

"I would be honored," the aide meekly offered as he bowed his head.

"You shall serve my son well," Skon ordered as he entered the hallway.  Turning back to the aide, he unblinkingly continued.  "If you do not, you will be recalled to Vulcan.  That would be a most regrettable occurrence, would it not?"

Sennar remained silent as he watched Skon stride down the hall and enter the lift.  As the doors closed, the aide clasped his hands behind his back and deeply sighed.  He wanted to remain on Earth in the influential position of aide, and if that meant tolerating the illogic of a Vulcan bonded to a human, then so be it.  The bonding might take place, but the odds of a successful marriage?  Sennar swiftly computed the odds as lower than that of a Human/Vulcan conception.  It wasn't going to last, no matter Skon's audaciousness in suggesting otherwise.

The thought gave Sennar a measure of comfort as he returned to the ambassador's office.  While Sarek foolishly wasted his time pursuing an emotional human girl, he had work to do.   

Chapter 23 – The Decision

McCoy:  You wouldn't understand that, would you, Spock?  You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him (Flint). Because you'll never know the things that love can drive a man to – the ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, the glorious victories.  All of these things you'll never know.Simply because the word `love' isn't written into your book.
(Star Trek - TOS   Requiem for Methuselah)


"This looks like the end of the line.  There must have been a storm."

Amanda folded her arms around her middle as a blast of salty spray stung her face.  Disappointment settled heavy upon her.  They had been walking for several hours, their easy banter not burdened even by the occasional silences.  Now, a debris-strewn section consisting of driftwood, seaweed, and tiny shards of bony shells deteriorated further into an eroded cliff area that had fallen onto the beach below.  Boulders and sundry uprooted trees formed an impenetrable barrier between them and Provincetown.

"Are you cognizant of a different route?" Sarek inquired as he studied the formidable obstruction.

"We could use the peninsula road, but the closest access way is back at the ice cream shop."  Amanda silently reflected on the problem before she continued.  "To be honest, by the time we get back to the shop it will be close to sunset."

"I would estimate that we have one hour, fifty three minutes, given that sunset is at 1728 hours today."

"That's an estimate?" Amanda asked, amazed.

"Yes," Sarek replied as he turned away from the Provincetown beach path.  "Shall we return to the flitter?"

"That would make sense.  The shop is supposed to stay open until 1800 hours," she said as they began to walk.  "Maybe we can get something there for last meal."

"An acceptable plan," he stated amicably and they set out in the direction of the flitter.

"All right, I have another question," Amanda said as she padded along in the damp sand.  The water's chill had become too much for her, and she had slipped her shoes back on. At the slight inclination of Sarek's head, she cleared her throat. "My question is this:  when, exactly, did you get divorced from T'Rea?"

"The official dissolution of marriage occurred thirty-two days after the koon-ut-kali-fee," Sarek answered, his mouth forming a thin line.  "Is there a specific reason for your question?"

"Yes, there is," Amanda insisted as she sensed the disapproval of the topic in his nearly staccato speech pattern.  "I wanted to know if she asked for the divorce before or after the pon farr."

"Why?"

"Because I don't understand why she didn't just ask you for a divorce before the pon farr, allowing you time to find another bondsmate," she replied, uncomfortably aware that Sarek had incrementally increased his pace.

"Her reasons are her own," he declared in a monotone manner.

"She didn't explain why she left?  Other than the adept training, I mean," Amanda clarified. 

"Her interest in the ancient disciplines was not known to me," Sarek claimed.  "My belief was that it was a recent development."

"What did she say when she told you of that interest?"

Several long seconds passed as the cries of several gulls calling to each other filled the air.

"I was informed that she was going.  That is all."

Amanda knew she was treading on delicate ground even as the brevity and finality of Sarek's answer told her volumes.

"She left just after the pon farr, didn't she?" Amanda softly asked.

"Yes, her departure corresponded with the end of our Time." 

Again, Sarek's crisp tone should have informed Amanda that the conversation subject matter needed to change.  Instead, she took in a deep breath. "That must have hurt terribly," she sympathetically began, but stopped when Sarek sharply shook his head.

"Amanda, you must not assign emotional labels to a completely logical decision."

"Logical?"  Her incredulous tone carried over the waves as she glared at him.  "T'Rea left you and you call it logical?  I call it cruel.  Why didn't she wait for some time to pass after the pon farr before asking for the divorce?  How could you have known that she wasn't pregnant if she left just afterward?"

"Women who are pregnant cannot be adepts," Sarek countered.  "The mind disciplines are such that they could negatively impact a developing fetus' psychic abilities.  The masters would not subject a fetus to such potential injury."

"So, you're sure that she wasn't when she left?"

"Yes," he categorically stated.

"That's good," Amanda said, not sure why she felt such mixed emotions.  In a way, it would have been preferable if Sarek already had a child.  Perhaps she had absorbed too much of the Vulcan reverence for family, but acknowledging the infinitesimal odds of ever becoming pregnant caused an ache in her heart.  That was an aspect of their lives that would never be.

"Do you have a child?"

"Of course I don't," she replied, stunned by his question.  "Why do you ask?"

"A moment ago, a transitory thought penetrated my consciousness."  Sarek glanced in her direction.  "The thought was about a child.  Forgive my intrusion," he added.

"No, forgive me for projecting too much," Amanda requested as she grimaced.  She was well aware of Osavensu Tolak's term for humans who seemed incapable of reigning in their emotions and thoughts.  She'd not taken offense at his use of the word 'tornado', but had instead thought it appropriate.  Stirring up trouble, even unintentionally, was a talent she seemed destined to retain.

"There is no reason for an apology," Sarek insisted.  "You were not aware of your action.  Shielding can be taught."

"I've already had some training," Amanda admitted as she chuckled.  "Osavensu Tolak asked T'Spia to show me the most basic shielding techniques.  I'm afraid I didn't impress anyone with my aptitude."

"You shall learn," Sarek stated.  Amanda sighed at his unyielding tone.

"I'll try," she countered.  "That's all I can do."

The fast-paced walk had proved invigorating, but now the dazzling sun began to slip into the ocean's horizon.  Amanda slipped off her shoes again as they followed the surf line between sand and water, with her splashing slightly against the force of the ankle deep water and Sarek next to her, but several meters away on dry land.  They were now moving along another stretch of deserted beach that continued for several kilometers.  The dazzling pink, orange, and crimson splashes of color that surrounded the retreating sun were growing bold in intensity.  Sarek had said nothing for quite some time, and his silence was growing more uncomfortable for Amanda as it continued.

The sun had dipped low into the ocean, and the sky had taken on a pinkish-red glow that deepened the shadows of the towering dunes and gave a sharp definition to the motionless tufts of sea grass.  Sarek abruptly stopped and turned to face the dusky view even as Amanda continued to move in the waters. "Wait," he requested, his sonorous voice hushed and barely audible over the lapping waves. 

"What is it?" she asked as she stepped closer to the shore.  Sarek was staring with great intensity at the dusky red sky.  The moment slipped into a breathless, dreamlike state as an otherworldly feel washed over the landscape.  Amanda had never seen Sarek so at peace… as if he'd come to some monumental decision that ended the turmoil she'd sensed within him.  Even the gulls seemed to be caught up in the moment as their calls ended.  A serendipitous thought sprang to her mind as her eyes sparkled in the fading light.

"Is this what it's like?" she reverently asked Sarek as the waves caressed her ankles.  "Is this what it's like on Vulcan?"  The color of the sky had taken on the reddish-pink glow of evening's approach and bathed them in a warm radiance.  Staring at the ruddy orb as it sank into the waters, Amanda could almost physically feel the change from day to night as the light blazed, and then faded into the western sky.  The magical feeling was only broken when she realized that she was the only one watching the sunset.  Turning her head in a questioning way, she was grateful for the cover of the evening light.  Amanda could actually feel the color rise in her face as Sarek stared at her.

"You didn't answer my question," she softly said as she found herself mesmerized by his eyes.  "Was it a reminder of Vulcan?"

"Yes," he said, but he didn't seem to realize he was speaking.  He couldn't seem to take his eyes off of Amanda.  It was apparently a trick of the light, but she seemed to be shining with such an intense radiance that he wasn't able to turn away.  He watched her duck her head in sudden trepidation at his intensity.  The spell was broken, and he also lowered his eyes as his mind raced to find a reason for his enthrallment.  It was only a sunset, one of trillions that had been observed on this planet, and she was only one of billions of humans in the universe.  What had happened?

The sun was now drawn into a thin outline against the curve of Earth's horizon, and Sarek listened with bowed head as the light, watery footfall changed to the soft shuffling sound of dry sand against bare feet.  She was so close now, a mere meters distance.  What was he supposed to do with these thoughts that were not based on service or duty?  What was he supposed to do about the invariable turn of his contemplations from logic to the human before him?

"Sarek?"

He heard the question in her voice, and he raised his eyes to hers.  He marveled at the fleeting dance of light in her dark hair and sapphire eyes even as he chastised himself for the fanciful nature of his thoughts.  Turning away, he again remembered the indifference of T'Rea.  No, he thought, he wasn't going to go through that again.  It would be in Amanda's best interest if he allowed her to be unburdened by a Vulcan bonding.  He'd accept the blame; he'd allow the family to select a Vulcan bondsmate, more than likely the surrogate.  Surprisingly, he took in a deep breath as he felt the strong resistance that seemed to assail him from within.  There was only one explanation, but it seemed too implausible.  It couldn't be.

"Sarek," Amanda said as her emotions threatened to spill over into tears, "what's wrong?  Please be honest."

Shaken, he did something he'd never done before.  He felt the mixture of pain, anger, and regret shape his speech, and he did nothing to correct it. "You cannot understand," he brusquely said.  "It is something within me.  As a Vulcan, I am to serve as best suits the demands of my home world.  I cannot be burdened with extraneous matters that distract from my duties."

"Extraneous?  You think I'm irrelevant?" 

A sharp pang of some unnamed hurt struck at him at the almost sob he heard in her voice, but he coolly continued.  He had to end it now.  He had to. "What I believe is that you and I would be best suited for lives that did not intertwine and encumber us.  I shall take the blame and inform my father, but we must end this now."

"Why?"

"We must!" he angrily retorted as he took a step toward her.  Amanda remained frozen in place at his shockingly visible fury.  "You are Human and I am Vulcan.  Nothing can change that very conspicuous reality, and we must act in a logical matter to disentangle ourselves from each others lives."

"Is that what you want?" she hoarsely whispered.  "I thought we were getting along so well."  Again, Sarek felt the pain, but he was doing this for her protection.  She would understand in time.

"My interests play no part in this," he began, but was startled by the rough clearing of her throat as she cynically laughed.

"Your interests play no part because you don't know what you want," Amanda said as she angrily brushed away some errant tears.  "You've never given the matter any thought, so before you push me out of your life forever, I want you to look at me and answer just one question."  They were now facing each other, and Sarek wondered why they had moved closer during this most impassioned dispute.

"What question is that?" he calmly asked.  While his tone was level, he could already sense the likely dismay that answering her query would bring.

"What do you want?"

Blinking, Sarek waited a moment to see if there was more to the question.  When nothing else was said, he pursed his lips as he fought the impulse to turn away.  What he wanted?  Illogical.  All of his training and conditioning was for a life of service.  All that he needed was provided for him and he should be satisfied.  He should be.

He could feel her gaze as he stood there with no well-considered response.  He believed that Amanda was convinced that he'd resigned himself to the bonding at his father's insistence.  She must believe that it wasn't what he wanted, but was it?

"The consideration of need is not Vulcan in nature," he began, but immediately stopped as he observed her aggrieved demeanor. 

"I'm not asking for what all of Vulcan believes," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.  "I'm asking what you believe.  Allow yourself to be selfish for once, please?  What do you want?"

Before he could answer, a noise in the distance interrupted his response.  He could see the look of disgust on Amanda's face as she also heard the droning sound.

"It's a sand glider," she replied to his unspoken query.  "It's probably some joy riders."

"Joy riders?" Sarek repeated, but Amanda now faced in the direction of the whistling engine noise.  The beams of headlights shown against the black backdrop that formed the beachfront, and they both exhaled rather noisily.  He could sense the emotional jumble of conflicting levels of disapproval at the approach of the vehicle.

The glider slowed to a crawl as it slid up next to them.  A solitary young man with a broad grin waved.

"Do you two need a ride to the shack?" he asked over the roar of the engines.

"The shack?  You mean the ice cream shop?" Amanda asked even as the young man nodded.

"Yeah.  After old man Avery closes tonight, there's going to be a bonfire and Padera is going to perform.  It's all very informal.  Best of all, it's free."

"Who's Padera?" Amanda inquired.

"He's a guitarist who hangs out at the shack during the day," the man replied.  "He's really good."

"We have heard Padera play," Sarek said, surprising Amanda with his sociability.  "It would be pleasing to hear another performance by him."

"I believe we'll accept a ride," Amanda said as she noted Sarek's affirmative nod.  They climbed into the open roofed vehicle and barely had time to secure the safety harness before the flitter took off, rapidly flying over the sand they had earlier traversed.

"Well?" Amanda said after a few unnerving moments of acclimating to the driver's erratic steering, "do you think you're off the hook?"

"I do not understand," Sarek said even as he wondered at the rationale of accepting the young man's invitation.  The glider was traveling far faster than the posted legal speed limit.

"You haven't answered my question."

"May I appeal for an uncharacteristic delay?" Sarek said, somewhat surprised by his belief that the postponement would only enhance the evening.

"A delay?" Amanda repeated, but the sincere look in his eyes tempered her ire.  "Oh fine.  I'll wait for the moment, but I expect an answer."

"You shall have one by evenings end," Sarek promised as the flickering dance of flames from the bonfire came into view.   

The beachfront was quickly filling with a hodgepodge of those longing for one last taste of summer.  Amanda couldn't control the growing excitement within her at the sight of the enormous bonfire and laughing throngs.  An unspoken equanimity pervaded the scene as the diverse groups of young and old, conventional and avant-garde, mixed in an effortless good humored camaraderie.

"Here we are," the young man said as the glider came to a halt.  Amanda forced back a giggle as she looked at Sarek.  His cloak had protected his clothing in the open-air vehicle for the most part; however, it was his unruly hair that the humidity and wild trip had affected that caught her attention.  The dark locks had become a mass of curls that Amanda found absolutely striking.

"Thank you," Amanda said to the young driver.  "We appreciate the
ride."

"No problem," he said.  "If you tell Avery that Jakobi sent you, he might give you a discount."

The glider took off again, and this time Amanda did giggle as Sarek ran his hand several times through his uncontrolled mane.

"It looks fine," she reassured him, but she could tell by the severe look on his face he wasn't pleased.

"Shall we order last meal?" he queried, his attempt to change the subject palpable.  With a considerate smile, she nodded.

The ice cream shop had been transformed into a casual bistro from its appearance earlier in the day.  The older man Amanda assumed was Avery was arguing with several scantily clad beachcombers about the finer points of wave skimming and dune surfing.  The two girls, barely adolescents and overtly aware of their developing bodies, were wearing little more than strips of material that covered the essentials.  Their overly exaggerated flaunting of their immature bodies caused Amanda to wince.  Had she looked so ridiculous when she'd been that age?

After ordering two vegetarian plates to go, the couple took their food down to the bonfire where the crowd was gathering.  The sounds of instruments being tuned drowned out the steady conversations of those present.  Sarek had found a location near the fire that offered some respite from the chill winds that occasionally blew in from the ocean. 

"This is acceptable?" he asked as Amanda nodded.

"This is fine," she agreed as they sat down next to each other on the slight rise.  Although she wished she had a towel or blanket to sit on, the sand was level and Sarek had not objected to the seating arrangement.  As they made themselves comfortable and opened their meals, Amanda noticed that something had distracted Sarek from his repast.  Glancing behind her, she started when she found herself face to face with a little girl, the toddlers' big brown eyes blinking in surprise at the notion of being discovered.

"Why, hello there," Amanda gently said as the girl's mouth formed a surprised 'O'.

"'lo," the girl said, and then her face broke into a toothy grin.  "'lo."

"Hello," Amanda repeated, a smile in place to match the child's beaming one, "what's your name?"

"'lo," the girl said, her tone serious, "wazzer name?"

"She's so cute!" Amanda exclaimed as a harried woman on a blanket next to them rolled her eyes.

"Oh, she's adorable when she wants to be, or when she wants something," the woman said with a sigh.  "Other times, she can be a holy terror."

"Aw, but she's so beautiful," Amanda insisted as the little girl tenderly patted her hair.  "She's just precious."

"You don't have children, do you?" the woman asked, amusement softening her question.  "Trust me, you'll see what I mean someday."

"Oh." her voice trailed off, and the woman picked up the little girl.  Protesting screams filled the air for several seconds until a graham cracker magically appeared in the mother's hand and the cries ended.

"Well, she's still cute," Amanda adamantly maintained as she turned her attention back to Sarek.

"The physical appearance of a child is not indicative of the child's behavior," Sarek stated as the crowd began to settle down. 

Amanda glowered at her Vulcan companion. "I see nothing wrong with pointing out that the girl is beautiful."

"Human children have an unnatural tendency to cry," Sarek noted as his sensitive hearing detected the numerous unhappy children that surrounded them.

"It's not unnatural for a human child to cry," Amanda said as she sighed.  "Don't Vulcan children cry?  Certainly an infant would."

"Vulcan infants only cry when in distress," Sarek said.  "They do not cry for any other reason."

"Never?" she asked, but quieted when the concert started. 

She had expected the evening to be a simple affair of one man and a guitar; instead, three guitarists, a drummer, and a keyboard player entertained the crowd with their lively renditions of traditional and contemporary songs, many plucked from the obscure era of music of the twenty first century when wars and despots had attempted to wipe away all traces of culture that they disagreed with.  Amanda's father had been interested in that time period, and her childhood had been filled with music that, to her ears, should never have been 'lost'.  Sarek respectfully listened to each of the works while Amanda curiously wondered at his fascination with the event.  The musicians were not professional in any way, although they did execute an enjoyable show.  By the second number, Sarek had consumed his pita bread sandwich, the pocket of which had been filled with grilled vegetables.  After eating half of her vegan wrap, Amanda handed the rest to Sarek.

"If you'd like, you can have it.  I'm full," she offered.

"You should consume your meal," he declared, but Amanda only shook her head.

"It will only go to waste if you don't want it," she reasonably replied.  With a slightly disapproving raise of his eyebrow, Sarek accepted the wrap and it was gone within minutes.

The concert lasted for nearly three hours and was met with enthusiastic applause and calls for more before the last note was played.  The musicians humored the audience with a bouncy beach themed encore that brought even more calls for a continuation, but the concert was officially over and the crowd began to disperse.

"Did you enjoy the show?" Amanda asked as they quickly stood to avoid being trampled by the departing horde.

"It was interesting," Sarek offered enigmatically.

"Nothing more?  Just interesting?" she protested as they disposed of their trash in one of the roving robotic debris containers.

"My answer does not meet with your approval?" he asked.

"I thought you might offer some insight into why you wanted to attend the concert, that's all," she said as they followed a small group of excited students away from the ocean toward the concessions area.

"I have not previously attended such an informal gathering and the music presented was unique," he simply replied as they stopped near the planked steps leading up to the peninsula road.

"It was rather last minute," Amanda agreed.  "It's an unofficial `end of summer' ritual.  The weather is still good, and…"

"Hey!"

The couple turned in the direction of the voice.  Jakobi was waving his arms wildly to get their attention.  Amanda waved back to indicate they saw him.

"You two want a ride to town?" the young man asked.  Amanda looked to Sarek.

"We should request a ride to the flitter," he asserted even as the man approached.

"That makes sense," Amanda granted, although she wondered if Sarek hoped to drive her back to Boston without answering her question.

They accepted Jakobi's invitation, and after another turbulent ride in near total darkness, Sarek pointed out the place along the peninsula road where they would disembark.  The young man's brow creased as he studied the location.

"Here?  Are you sure?" Jakobi asked quizzically.  "There's not a road around here for at least a kilometer."

"I am certain," Sarek calmly replied.  Suddenly, Jakobi's eyes lit up.

"Oh, I see," he said with a knowing smirk.  "You two have fun."  The man drove away before either of them could respond.

"Fun?" Sarek inquisitively said.

"Yes, fun," Amanda said as she shyly bit her lip.

"Why would he believe that we will have fun?" he asked.

"He thinks that… um… we'll do more than walk along the beach," she vaguely answered as they began to follow the inadequately marked trail back to the flitter.  She'd heard enough stories from her brothers to know that the dunes of Cape Cod had a romantic connotation that Sarek obviously wasn't aware of.

Only seconds later, a soft chime could be heard over the ever-present rushing waves.  Sarek took a moment to answer his communicator as Amanda waited and hoped that it wasn't the embassy calling to request Sarek's return.

"Who was it?" she asked as he closed the devise.

"Soran," Sarek answered as they again began to walk down the sand covered road.  "He has completed his self guided tour of Boston and is returning to San Francisco."

"I hope he saw all that he planned to," Amanda said, her expression lightening at the thought of the intrepid Vulcan visiting historic East Coast places of interest.

"He seemed satisfied with the day's itinerary," he said as the road sloped down toward the shoreline.  Sarek could clearly see in the waxing crescent moonlight, but as he rounded a dune and adjusted his footing on the sloping landscape before him, he heard Amanda gasp.  She had been just behind him, but before he could react to her startled cry, she slid into him and he lost his balance.  Landing rather unceremoniously on his backside, he forced himself to rapidly get his bearings as he slid off the road several meters to the bottom of the natural crevasse between a set of towering sand walls.  Less than a second after he came to a stop, Amanda slid into his back feet first.  Swiftly turning over, Sarek stood and steadied himself on the uneven surface.  Pulling Amanda up from the ground into a cradle hold, he could feel her heart racing.  Sarek waited a long moment for her to realize that she was safe.  As she opened her tightly closed eyes, he could feel her relief… and something else pulsed within her that he could just sense...

"Are you harmed?" he asked even as he knew the answer.  Instead of putting her down, he continued to hold her.  She searched his face for a moment, and then languidly leaned her head against his shoulder.  The light floral scent of her hair wafted through the air and he inhaled deeply. 

"You haven't answered my question," he murmured as he tilted his head closer to hers.  "Have you been injured?"

"I'm fine," Amanda whispered.  "Why did you pick me up?  That's not… first aid."  She found herself incapable of forming the sentence as she felt his warm breath against her temple.  With a loath tentativeness, Sarek let her legs drop to the ground even as he maintained his hold around her back.  While tempted to demand a reason for his action, the disconcerting feelings that she'd experienced while wrapped in Sarek's arms kept her from becoming officious.  A trembling that had nothing to do with the windswept environment enveloped her as she considered what he'd just done.  Was it all just an illusion?  Had he held her for some reason other than to verify whether or not she'd been injured?

"Sarek, the evening's nearly over.  Now will you answer my question about what you want?"

Sorrow battered her as she considered the high probability that he was going to allow Vulcan tradition to dictate his actions, and there wasn't a damned thing she could do about it.  Skon might have thought an interspecies bonding was possible, but Sarek had already argued against it.  The thought upset her to the point that she forced her aggrieved eyes closed and waited for his logical assessment of why he wanted nothing and how it was logical for them to go their separate ways.  The last thing she expected was to feel his fingertips touch lightly the side of her face.

Sarek immediately pulled his hands away as he felt a furious rush of emotion strike out at him in waves.  "Amanda, you don't understand," he gently said, but she had turned away and was frantically trying to discover a way out of the natural chasm.  Wordlessly, he took a step away and allowed her a moment to gather herself.  With her arms wrapped tightly around her midsection, she spun around to confront him.

"What were you trying to do?" she tearfully asked as he attempted to close the distance between them.  She stumbled backward and clumsily fell to the ground.  Enraged at the disruption to her flight, she angrily began to push herself up; however, Sarek reached down and swept her up into a similar hold to the one he had employed earlier.

"Put me down!" she bellowed, "Put me." but her next objection vanished as he firmly pressed his lips against hers.  They remained that way for just a moment, until Sarek slowly pulled away.  Despite her earlier anger, Amanda's wide eyes glinted with amusement even though she was at a complete loss.

"What, exactly, were you trying to do?" she asked archly as she again savored the warmer emanations that radiated from the Vulcan's higher body temperature.  She could almost see the raised eyebrow at her question.

"I was endeavoring to kiss you… unsuccessfully, I must admit," he lamented.  Biting back a giggle, she sighed instead at his surprising inexperience with a simple kiss.  If he was attempting to divert her attention from her previous fit of anger, she had to admit that he'd succeeded quite well.

"Kissing me won't shut me up," Amanda maintained even as she tried to remember what she was upset about.

"That was not my intention," he insisted.

"Well, for your information, a truly pleasurable kiss involves some practice first," Amanda expertly stated as she reached up to caress his cheek.  "It's like Mae West said a man's kiss is his signature.  Let's try that again, but relax your lips and don't pull away so soon."

"Mae West?" he inquired, but he couldn't seem to work up much interest in the source of the quote as he felt Amanda lean toward him.  "As you wish," Sarek murmured deeply as he felt the tautness increase in Amanda's back and legs where he held her.  He was captivated by the fleeting smile he'd caught just as she tilted her head back and met his mouth with her soft lips.  Focusing on her words, he relaxed and didn't pull away even when he felt the brief touch of her tongue against his bottom lip.  As they parted, she again sighed as she hugged him closer, one arm around his back and one around his neck.

"We'll work on that," she promised breathlessly.  The clouds had parted, and the dim moonlight shining upon them meant that she could only imagine the hooded eyes before her were amused by her evaluation.  "I assume that you've never kissed someone before."

"No," he admitted.  "It has always seemed to be a most unhygienic act."

"And now?"

"The possible negative after effects are conceivably worth risking," he softly admitted.  Amanda took in a deep breath as she braced herself yet again.

"I hope that you weren't trying to use a kiss to distract me from my question."

"I shall answer your question after midnight," he avowed as he put her down again.  The moonlight filled the chasm with a warm glow.  "You asked what it is that I want.  You shall know then."

"Sarek, why are you being so difficult?" Amanda demanded heatedly.  "What is the purpose of waiting until after midnight?"

"There is a personal reason for my request," he stated, his resolute tone indicating he wasn't going to give in.

"I guess I can wait," Amanda relented with a slight pout.  "That's only a couple of hours away, right?"

"One hour, forty seven minutes," Sarek precisely replied.

She slyly gazed up at him.  "Good!  That's plenty of time to practice kissing."

"We must find an exit from this chasm," Sarek reasoned as he examined the walls of their crude prison.  Amanda scowled at the way he'd disregarded her suggestion of a way to pass the time, but soon came to the same conclusion.  They couldn't remain in the crevasse, and the evening air was taking on a chill that worried her.  If she was cold, it was likely far worse for a Vulcan who had already fastened his cloak's seam closed earlier in the evening due to the falling temperature.  The top of the chasm was about a half meter above Sarek's head, and while the area that they had slid down was less steep, the abrupt slant and grainy surface offered no viable way out.  

"Why did you try to touch my face earlier?" she asked as she searched alongside Sarek for a handhold or foothold along another wall.  The crevasse more or less resembled an elongated hole that would not easily give up those who fell in.

"You were distressed, and I was attempting to calm you," he replied.  "I did not intend to further upset you."

"I wish you would have told me what you were doing.  I can calm myself without assistance, and I highly recommend that you don't try that again," she steadfastly said.  "Oh, is this something?"  Amanda stepped back as Sarek carefully checked the faint indentations she'd found along the mostly flat walls. 

"There is a seventy nine point six percent chance of an achievable ascent from this location," he said as he methodically calculated the likelihood of success.  "Stand against the far side wall, and prepare to move if the sands should begin to shift."

As she did, Amanda observed Sarek's concerted effort to map out the incline step by step.  Despite expecting what he was going to do, she still gasped when he suddenly lunged forward and began to dig into the silt and sand with his fingertips and the toe of his boots.  As he clambered up, the footholds crumbled away, sending sand raining down.  Amanda turned to face the far wall as a cloud of fine sand dust floated in the air.  Fortunately, Sarek's momentum was such that he was able to reach top of the chasm.

"You did it!" she shouted, and then coughed to clear her lungs.

"Indeed," he replied.  "I shall return momentarily."

"Wait, where are you going?" she asked, a twinge of fear emerging at the idea of being left alone.

"I am going to retrieve the blanket," he answered as he gazed down into the mist.  "I will lower it down to you, and then pull you up."

"Oh, all right," she replied as he disappeared.  Although he wasn't gone long, Amanda was extremely grateful when the blanket appeared over the rim and she was once again on solid ground near the trail.

"Follow me," he said as he began to walk toward the flitter.  "Do not deviate from the pathway indicated by my footsteps or you may again lose your balance."

Once safely back to the flitter, Amanda exhaled in relief.  "I'm so sorry about crashing into you like that," she offered as the doors of the vehicle opened.  "It was nearly impossible for me to see in the darkness."

"It is of no consequence," Sarek replied.  "No injuries resulted, and the problem of exiting the crevasse was solved."

"Well, thank you for rescuing me from my ineptitude," she said as she took a seat on the passenger side of the flitter.  With the ever-present wind now effectively blocked and the dank chasm a memory, Amanda shivered as her body attuned to the change.  Even Sarek took a moment to regulate his biocontrols to the warmer temperature inside the vehicle.

"It was an accident that could not have been foreseen," Sarek declared once he had taken position in the driver's seat.  He gazed thoughtfully at the young woman next to him.  "May I ask a question?"

"I suppose, since you won't answer mine for another hour," she grumbled.

"One hour, eighteen minutes," he corrected.  "May I ask about your unusually disparaging assessment of your conduct?  You have referred to yourself as troublesome, clumsy, cowardly, temperamental, egotistical and inept in the short span of time we have known each other."

"Yes," she agreed with a frown.  "So?  It's all true."

"I do not see a propensity for such conduct in you," Sarek firmly said as he noted the way Amanda bit her lower lip.  "You have attended an exclusive private school and graduated with honors:  you were invited and excelled at the Vulcan Embassy course:  you received a college scholarship:  shall I continue?"

"All of those are academic in nature," Amanda indicated with a shrug.  "I never said I was unintelligent."

"But for all your achievements, you prefer to focus on the negative, highly exaggerated faults that you believe you have."

"I do have those faults," she maintained.  "Didn't I just cause us to fall into the crevasse?"

"Perhaps if I had been more vigilant, I would have been able to prevent our fall," he said as Amanda vigorously shook her head.

"No, it was my fault for sliding into you," she obdurately claimed.

"Again, you are taking fault when none exists."

"I'm not doing that," she insisted.  "It's just that… it's…" Silent for a moment, she thought about Sarek's belief.  Why did she constantly make self-disparaging remarks and take the blame for most everything? "Maybe I prefer to point out my faults before someone else does," she said with little conviction. 

"That someone is your mother."

Amanda opened her mouth to oppose Sarek's analysis, but then sank back into the seat.  "You may be right," she softly agreed.

"Events sporadically conspire to appear as one's fault, but it is often not so.  It is also not the persona of a coward that I see in you," Sarek intoned in the same low voice.  "When your father's life was in jeopardy, you sought help for him on the other side of the continent."

"But when I was told about the pon farr, I ran like a frightened deer," she reminded him.

"And yet you are here now.  Your presence is not indicative of a coward."

She absorbed his evaluation for a moment before replying.  "You're the one who came here at my request."

"Yes," he unwaveringly said, "that is correct.  I must know if you intend to honor our parent's agreement." 

"I." Amanda paused as her mind fought a losing battle with her heart.  "I'd like to believe that there will be more than a political arrangement between us.  You've given me some indications that you want more than that, too."

"You are referring to the kiss," he dryly remarked as he watched her lips curl up.

"Well, yes," she consented.  "Tell me something.  Does bonding hurt?"

"Hurt?" he repeated as he saw the flicker of concern in her eyes.  "No, although it is momentarily disorienting and may cause discomfort until the bonded couple adjust to the link."

"What happens at a bonding ceremony?" she asked.

"The Family Matriarch, such as T'Dpel of my Family, will preside over the ceremony that is similar to the customary wedding in your society.  The families come together, and the couple is called forward.  T'Dpel places her hands on the katra points along the side of the face."  He spread his left hand and extended his long fingers to demonstrate the proper positioning.  "Though physically apart, the Matriarch draws each mind together and forges the link.  The ceremony is thus concluded."

"That seems fairly straightforward," Amanda said as she considered what Sarek had revealed.  "The only invited guests are family?"

"The guest list would consist of those within the family and those specially invited by the family.  Remember that the ceremony is performed upon the child's seventh year and the majority of the child's life has been family oriented," he replied as he raised an eyebrow for emphasis.  "The majority of such ceremonies are private and the bonding is only publicly acknowledged after a period of seven days, which corresponds to the pon farr cycle.  An inimitable bonding such as that between a Vulcan Ambassador and a Human would entail far more guests and attention than usual."

"So, it would be a media event."

Sarek frowned slightly at her appraisal.  "The bonding ceremony is not a marriage, which is private and limits guests to family and close friends."

"I don't care for the idea of having something so intimate splashed on the netfeeds," she adamantly stated, her face taking on a disgruntled look.  "What happens if the bonding fails?"

"If no link is established, the Matriarch will announce the failure and the families may then decide to either honor the bonding agreement or absolve the couple of it."  He briefly wondered if Amanda realized that the conversation had turned from simply any bonding ceremony to possibly theirs.

"And that might take place in front of millions."  Amanda resolutely shook her head.  "As adults, don't we have other choices available?  There has to be another way."

"You do not impress me as being shy, Amanda," he said.

"Oh, it's not the media attention that bothers me," she insisted.  "It's the idea of possibly failing."

"You are a perfectionist?"

"No, but I don't want to be accused of being `only human'."

"You are human."

"Right."  She smiled at the vaguely confused look on Sarek's face.  "What time is it?"

"Twenty three hundred eight," he said.  "Fifty two minutes until midnight."

"So we need to kill some time," Amanda mused, then started to giggle.  "Kissing?"

"Amanda," Sarek said, his tone not as stern as he had hoped.  "I do not understand this preoccupation of yours."

"MY preoccupation?  It's your fault!  Remember that you kissed me."  She impishly grinned as she tilted her head and blinked innocently.  "And me, such a perfect little angel."

"Was not Lucifer also an angel?" Sarek serenely replied. 

Amanda's eyes went wide. "You… you know too much about Earth religions," she petulantly insisted as she frowned at the far too calm Vulcan next to her.  "Are you also aware of the general pictorial depiction of Lucifer and his followers?  You might want to take a look in the mirror."

"My position necessitates knowledge, and I do not resemble Lucifer," Sarek said as he speculated on the reason for his needling of the young human.  Perhaps he shouldn't, but her reactions were always so… interesting.

"As for the kissing, I wouldn't need a preoccupation if you would just tell me." She dramatically sighed as she ended her diatribe.  "Would you like some wine?  We still haven't opened the bottle."

"As you wish," Sarek replied as Amanda turned to the back where the picnic basket was placed.  Once the cork was successfully removed, they cautiously sipped at the wine from fluted glasses she'd packed.  Although his Vulcan metabolism wouldn't be affected by the alcohol, Sarek appreciated the surprising quality of the vintage and dry white wine's taste and aroma.  Glancing with a trace of amusement at Amanda's grimace as she took a sip, he sat his glass down on the dashboard. "The wine does not meet with your approval?" he asked.

"It's not bad," she said as she took another sip.  "It's a bit drier than I prefer."

"You are a wine connoisseur?"

Blushing, Amanda admitted the truth.  "No, this is only the second glass of wine I've ever had.  The first was at my Aunt's third wedding, and I wasn't supposed to have one then."

"Prudence would be advisable in terms of the quantity you imbibe."

"Oh, don't worry," she said with a chuckle.  "I won't drink too much.  The thought of arriving back at my brother's apartment drunk doesn't interest me in the slightest."

They silently enjoyed the wine for a few minutes.  The flitter protected them from the elements, and as much as Amanda wanted to go back out onto the beach, the possibility of more unseen dangers proved too great a barrier.

"I wouldn't be a burden to your career, correct?"

"Why would you believe that?" he asked, curious at the serious, almost sullen, tone.

"There doesn't seem to be any way to disregard the fact that I'm only eighteen and a student," she explained as she took another sip of the wine.  It really was quite good, she thought.  "Going from a student to an ambassador's wife, Sarek, I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"I have discussed the matter with the embassy cultural attaché and my mother," he replied.  "You are capable and shall learn the requirements from them."

"Yes, but when?"  She put her glass down as she curiously studied the Vulcan next to her.  "Do I have to go to Vulcan?"

"My posting on Earth does not preclude my responsibilities to our Clan," Sarek stated as he retrieved his glass.  "As my bondsmate, you would be required to act in my stead and for the benefit of the Family.  Currently, my mother is managing my affairs.  Again, your responsibilities will be explained in full.  In terms of a possible travel itinerary, I deem it essential that you take your leave in an expedient manner in order to begin studies at the Vulcan Academy and to be instructed on your duties."

Amanda reflected silently on what Sarek said for a moment.  "You believe it would be best for me to go to Vulcan, but you aren't coming?"

"No," he said as he observed the brooding look on her face.  "The instruction you receive will not require my presence."

"So, I have to travel alone?" she queried, a hint of dread in her voice.  It was bad enough never to have traveled off-planet before, but to do so alone was a frightening prospect.

"You shall be accompanied by members of the diplomatic corps and family," Sarek said as he slightly raised one elegant eyebrow.  "Soran has planned to return for a brief sabbatical with his wife and son, and my mother and father are returning tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" she gasped out as she vigorously shook her head.  "I can't leave tomorrow."

"I mention my parent's departure only for your edification," Sarek said.  "Soran is not leaving until the end of this Earth month."

"Oh, I see," she said, relieved.  A feeling of exhilaration filled her at the thought of finally traveling amongst the stars.  It would be an incredible adventure, but it was also an enormous leap of faith.  This wasn't a mere move across one continent, and she would be leaving everything behind for a person she barely knew.  One of Nanny's old sayings came to mind as she took another sip of the wine.  'Leap, and the net will appear.'  Gazing at Sarek from beneath lowered eyes, she made up her mind. "Is it after midnight yet?" she asked, stifling a yawn.  The fresh air and walk were beginning to have an effect on her even as the wine spread its warmth through her limbs.

"Two minutes, seven seconds," he said.

"Just long enough to practice kissing," she joked. 

Sarek gave her a withered look. "I shall show you a more enjoyable method of expressing affection."

Amanda felt her breath catch in her throat as she attempted to sound nonchalant.  "I can't imagine a more enjoyable or obvious sign of affection."

"Hold out your right hand."

"Why?" she asked, curious about his elusive comment.  With a sigh, she lifted her arm toward him.  With clinical indifference, Sarek reached out and adjusted her hand until only her index and middle finger were extended.  Knowing what he was doing based on her observation of other Vulcan couples, Amanda kept her hand still as he touched her fingers with his left index and middle fingers.  Anxiously awaiting some great rush of emotion or sudden insight, she cleared her mind and strained to sense whatever it was Sarek believed was more enjoyable than a kiss.  Within a few seconds, however, he lowered his hand.

"I don't understand," she said, disappointed.

"The ozh'esta is the outward indication of a couples bonded status," Sarek replied as he observed Amanda's puzzled look.  "Once bonded, the ozh'esta offers far more than a mere touch."

"So, unless I'm bonded to you, it doesn't mean anything," she inferred as she looked down at her hand.  "Why did you show it to me?"

"I stated that there was a more enjoyable method of expressing affection," he reiterated.

"But I can kiss you without bonding and get more pleasure," Amanda reminded him.  "Touching my hand isn't the same as a kiss… at least it isn't for a human."

"No, at this time it is not," he agreed.  "It is now 0001 hours."

Amanda sat up straighter in her seat at his announcement.  "Finally!" she exclaimed with a grin.  Sobering quickly, she took in a steadying breath.  This was it.  This was the moment she had waited for.

"You asked what it is that I wanted," Sarek began in an even, tranquil voice.  "The question is not one of…"

"Sarek, please just answer the question without the diplomatic doublespeak," Amanda ordered, not caring at all if he was offended by her blunt interruption.

"Need I remind you that I am a diplomat?"

"No, of course not," she curtly agreed, fighting back her mounting frustration.  "I'm well aware of your diplomatic post.  Now, tell me.  What do you want?"

"I would ask that you honor the bonding agreement duly arranged by our parents."

"That's what you want?" Amanda asked, a strange mix of hope and disappointment blurring her thoughts.

"It is logical."

"Logical?" she said with no small amount of vexation.  She was getting tired of that word.  "Please explain to me what is so logical about it?"

"Logic allows one to distinguish between the rational and irrational.  Without logic, there is no truth."  He held her gaze for a moment before continuing.  "Since truth is based on the validity of facts, one must examine the facts.  The bonding agreement was originally presented as an idealistic union between two disparate members of the Human and Vulcan species.  Given that we have now had the opportunity to meet."

"Four times," Amanda murmured.

"Four times," Sarek smoothly agreed.  "Given that, we have found no serious point of contention or negative qualities within each other that would negate the arrangement.  It serves our mutual interest."

"Mutual interest?"  Even in the dimly lit interior of the flitter, Amanda could perceive the flicker of consternation on Sarek's features before he further explained his rationale.

"You requested my presence here," he reiterated.

"And you are interested in me?" she asked.

"I would not have traveled across the continent on what I believe humans call, `a whim'," he unequivocally stated in a droll tone. 

Amanda smiled. "I see," she slowly drawled.  "So, let me understand this `logic' of yours.  You believe that bonding with me is logical because we're compatible, and that theory is based on four encounters.  Have you forgotten that I fainted at our first meeting, and the second time involved my frantic departure from the embassy when I realized you were the flitter driver?"

"Statistically, those two meetings would indicate a rather poor prognosis for sustained contact."

"I'll say," she chuckled, but then sobered.  "Although, the second meeting did result in a chance to talk as you escorted me back to campus, the third was the dance, and then today."

"Yesterday," he corrected.  Amanda's smile faded as she tilted her head.

"Yes, that was yesterday... my birthday.  Why did you insist that I had to wait for your answer to my question?  It would have made a very enjoyable day even more so."

"When I arrived at our rendezvous yesterday morning, I was forced to acknowledge that my conduct lacked a certain stateliness."  He pursed his lips together for a second before going on.  "As the day progressed, I discovered more about this world than I have since my initial arrival.  I cannot describe the day other than that it was most satisfying."

"It was a wonderful day," Amanda agreed.  She couldn't explain why her heart was racing as Sarek continued.

"I requested a delay in replying to your query due to my belief that you would reject outright the bonding."

"But, why?"

"If you disputed the ideology of bonding for any reason," Sarek unrelentingly said, "I could still render one day of my life as perfection.  I can ask for no more."  Lowering his head, he held her gaze as he continued.  "As you see, I am not immune to selfishness."

Tightly closing her eyes, Amanda knew she was fighting a losing battle.  Tears had already formed at Sarek's declaration, and she couldn't stop them.

"Have I distressed you?" he gently asked.

"No," she whispered.  "What you said."  She swallowed hard to clear a lump that had formed in her throat.  "That has to be the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me."

Sarek sat back, his look scandalized.  "That was not my intention."

Now laughing between the tears, Amanda nodded in agreement.  "Oh, I know!  That makes it even sweeter."

"Illogical," he uttered decisively which only increased Amanda's delight.

"Yes, it is," she agreed wholeheartedly.  "It's almost as illogical as my answer to what I assume is your personal request for us to become bondsmates."

"Indeed?" he queried as he observed her sudden serious turn.

"Yes," she said.  "I would be honored to agree to the bonding."

"I am the one so honored, Amanda," he reassured her.

"I do have one request," she said as she noted the sudden lightness in Sarek's timbre. 

"What is it?"

"I don't want an official bonding ceremony."

"I do not understand," he stated, unsure of why she would make such a request.

"Are you capable of forming the bond without the Matriarch?" she asked. 

Understanding dawned as Sarek narrowed his eyes. "I am," he affirmed.  "However, the ceremony is to illustrate the symbolic joining of Earth and Vulcan."

"I understand that; however, allow me to present my logical reasons why we shouldn't have a ceremony," she said with a clearing of her throat.  She was fairly certain that she heard Sarek's eyebrow hit his hairline.  "The bonding ceremony would be a media event that would rival the worst such celebrity gatherings.  If we attempt to bond, oh, let's say today, and it fails, no one other than the two of us will be any the wiser.  If the bonding is announced as a failure in front of the entire universe, we would never be permitted to marry.  After all, the bonding is considered a prerequisite for marriage on Vulcan, isn't it?"

"There are cases in which bondings do not succeed," Sarek informed her.

"But if OURS didn't succeed, that would be an anecdote that would follow us for the rest of our lives.  Something along the lines of 'oh, there is that Vulcan or that Human who attempted an interspecies bonding and failed.'"

"That is a possibility," Sarek conceded.

"Also, if we try the bonding and fail, then T'Dpel and her minions wouldn't have to travel to Earth for the ceremony.  I assume your father meant for the ceremony to take place here?"

"He did," Sarek agreed. 

"So, you see?  Logic dictates that we shouldn't have a bonding ceremony.  Case closed."  Amanda crossed her arms and smiled triumphantly.

"What if the bonding is successful?"

"Does it matter if the bond is made public after we succeed?" Amanda inquired.  "The media will have a field day for a while, but eventually the frenzy will die down.  It did with the dance.  Your father is the one who hopes that our marriage will be a union that exemplifies the principals of IDIC.  He approves of the bonding, and even your mother has approved with her show of support for your father."

"And what of your family?" Sarek asked. 

"My father agreed to the bonding, and my mother doesn't care.  Matt and Dan need to get over their protective posture.  I'm old enough to know what I want."  Amanda quieted for a minute as she considered what she was doing.  She waited for the pangs of doubt or feelings of panic that she thought might arise.  Instead, she felt an incredible sense of peace.

"You are aware that the bonding is for life."

His unconditional assertion momentarily confused her as she thought about T'Rea, but it also revealed more about what Sarek wanted than anything else he'd said.  "Yes, I'm aware that the bonding is for life," she assured him with a smile.  "You must believe that there is nothing that would change my mind about us.  I will never leave you."

Sarek said nothing for a moment as an unexpected turmoil threatened his equanimity.  Why hadn't she pointed out the conspicuous flaw in his judgment?  He mentally pushed the question aside as he unerringly continued.  "You are also aware of the realities of the Time."

"I am," she confidently replied.  "When do you estimate it will occur again?"

"Approximately 2.21 Earth years from now," he admitted.

"All right," she unflappably said.  "We'll have time to remedy any fears I might have."

"Remedy?" Sarek repeated, confused by her word choice.

"Yes," she replied as she felt the blood rush into her face.  "I can't explain right now."

"Vulcan males are not seducible," he said as he observed her sudden grin.

"Really?" she innocently remarked.  "What a pity.  I guess that you kissed me for completely logical reasons."

"Indeed," he said as Amanda's mouth dropped open in shock.  "I was curious as to the fascination humans place on such an act."

"And was your curiosity sated?"

"It was," he said.  "It is not a proper Vulcan act and should not be performed in public."

"I understand," Amanda said as her grin broadened.  He hadn't said that it was so horrible that he wouldn't try it again.  She felt that she was getting better at deciphering Sarek's assertions.  "We'll reserve the kissing for times when we're alone."

"Amanda, do you so desire to allow the bonding?"

She felt her heart pounding in her chest as she took in a deep breath.  "I believe we should attempt it now," she insisted, surprising herself with the steadiness of her voice.  "I have thought about it, and it's what I want.  This may sound strange to you, but I believe you're going to have a much easier time being Ambassador Sarek than Sarek."

"I am both the ambassador and Sarek," he said, puzzled over her odd statement.  "There is no difference."

"You're not always going to be acting on behalf of Vulcan," she said gently.  "There will be times when you need to step away from your diplomatic role.  That, I believe, is going to be essential for your sanity.  You mention family."  Swallowing hard, she shrugged to hide her regret.  "That I can't promise you, but I do promise to always be there for you, no matter what."

Again they held each other's eyes, and Sarek surprised her by reaching out and tenderly caressing the back of her hand.  "That is all I ask," he said.

Taking the blanket from the back of the flitter, they exited the vehicle and walked a short distance to an elevation that overlooked the ocean, Amanda carefully following Sarek's surefooted pace.  A canopy of stars sparkled above them as the moon sliver seemed to smile down in approval.  Facing each other as they sat, the couple quietly reveled in the sight of each other, every detail formed into memory.

"We're doing this all wrong, you know," Amanda softly said as she gazed out at the ocean.  They were on a cliff that, under most circumstances, would have terrified her.  Instead, she could barely contain her exhilaration as she heard the waves pummeling the sands below.

"In what respect?" Sarek asked.

"It's the end of summer," she said as if that should have been reason enough.  "So many romances die as the summer comes to an end.  I find it ironic that we're just beginning, that's all."

"Interesting," he said as he marveled at the numerous fleeting emotions he could sense from her.  "Is that sufficient cause to wait until next summer?"

"Absolutely not!" she cried out, and then relaxed as she saw the glimmer of light in his eyes.  "I won't wait."

"Will thee bond, our hearts and souls to be as one, never and always touching and touched?" he ritualistically asked.

"As one from the beginning, never and always touching and touched," she replied, grateful that T'Spia had told her at least that much about her own bonding.

"Amanda," Sarek whispered as he caressed the curve of her cheek down to her neckline.  "Allow me your thoughts."  He felt her tense as he tilted her head back so that he could see her eyes.  "Trust me," he gently urged, and she could only nod once and close her eyes.

His fingertips brushed over her face and settled against her as she forced down an innate survival instinct to pull away.  She could almost physically felt the rush of Sarek's thoughts enter her consciousness.  Audibly gasping, she struggled to clear her mind even as his overwhelming presence pushed through her meager shields like paper.  Just when she thought she might scream, she felt Sarek remove his fingers from her face.  Tightly closing her eyes, she tried to determine what, if anything, had changed within her. 

"That was it?" she whispered as she opened her eyes.  "I don't feel any different."

"It is done," Sarek hoarsely said, his voice barely audible.  Instead of saying more, he reached out, his paired fingers extended toward her in a solemn invitation. 

She tentatively mirrored his action and touched his fingertips with her own. "Oh," she cried out, and pulled her hand away.  Some force, lightning bright and intense, had surged through her with their contact.

"As I stated, it may take some time to adjust," Sarek said, his voice distant.  Amanda shook her head at his guiltless proclamation.

"You should have told me it was like an electrical spark."

Sarek remained silent as he considered what to say.  "Amanda, I did not warn you due to the inexplicable nature of what occurred."

Sitting back, she blinked in surprise at his revelation.  "You mean that what I felt wasn't normal?"

"It is quite possible that what we experienced will be the norm due to our differing physiologies," he offered even as he pondered further what had happened.  "Or, it is possible that the bond is deeper than any I've experienced in the past."  His father had once mentioned something he'd referred to as katra-estuhl, or soul touch.  It was rare, but Skon had insisted that it was present between himself and T'Lara.

"Is that why I thought I was going to scream?" Amanda mentioned as she stared down at her hands.

"No," Sarek answered as he also thoughtfully considered the canopy of stars above.  "The effects of the bonding on your untrained neural paths caused the momentary distress."  He held his left hand out, palm up.  "Place your hand in mine."

Although she steeled herself for another shock, the feel of his warm flesh against hers did nothing other than make her realize just how cold it was on the windswept peninsula.

"It didn't happen that time," she said unnecessarily.  "Why?"

"This touching does not cause you distress?"

Amanda's brow furrowed.  "No, of course not.  It bothers me, but not in a disagreeable way."

"I do not understand," he stated as Amanda ducked her head.

"I mean that the way you keep rubbing my hand, well, I have no objections."  She shivered despite trying to force back the natural reaction.  Her thin jacket was useless in the cool evening air.

"Join me," Sarek insisted as he moved closer to her.  She didn't try to hide her pleased smile as she allowed the heavy Vulcan cloak to enfold her.  Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to imagine a better feeling, but none came to mind.

"Thank you," she whispered as the faint line of a shuttle crossed the sky.  "This is heaven."

"Cape Cod is heaven?" he drolly asked as he felt her giggle.

"I think heaven will be wherever we are together," she replied as she leaned against his arm.  He surprised her yet again by putting his arm around her shoulder.

"I concur," Sarek said as a sense of equability he thought he'd never possess again filled him.  "I cannot envision being anywhere else."

"I can't either," Amanda contentedly agreed as she leaned her head against him.  "Now comes the difficult part."

"Indeed," he declared softly.  The future spread out before them as the first tenuous steps of their lives together began.  It was of no matter, he thought, since it would be met by them as one.  That, for Sarek, was sufficient cause for a breach of control that he'd not considered breaking since childhood.  In the dim moonlight, with Amanda next to him, he smiled.

-------


Skon stood silently in his son's office as the hills that surrounded the San Francisco Bay glimmered in the growing morning light.  He had irrationally entered the office for one last view from the magnificent windows since the diplomatic shuttle was scheduled to depart early the next morning.  An inexplicable inability to sleep had overtaken him, and the walk from his apartment to the office did nothing to quell his increasing conviction that something momentous had occurred during the night.  Soran had returned late the previous evening, but he offered no details as to the reason for Sarek's delayed departure from the East Coast.

A chime from Sarek's monitor sounded through the office, and almost by instinct, Skon checked the identity of the early morning caller without opening the channel. 

"Interesting," he said aloud as he touched the screen, activating the link.

"Greetings, Father," Sarek said as he bowed his head in deference.

"Greetings, my son," Skon replied in kind as an eyebrow rose.  "Why did you believe that I would be in your office?"

"An educated conjecture based on past behavior," the younger Vulcan stated.

"I have become predictable," Skon noted in a dry tone.  "A most dangerous habit for a diplomat."

"Indeed," Sarek replied.

"I trust that you are still on the East Coast?"

"I am."

"Have you discovered the answers you sought?"

Sarek stepped to his right.  "Father, there has been an increase to the Family."

Skon blinked several times as he observed the smiling human next to his son.  "Indeed?"

"Indeed," Amanda replied.

A moment of silence followed, and the couple waited for either the condemnation or acceptance of the bonding.  It was Skon's responsibility to recognize the bonding and reveal it to the Family.

"The ceremony."

"Unnecessary," Sarek insisted.  "It is done."

Skon knew that his son would divulge no more, and so inclined his head.

"Father, I solicit the Family's recognition."

Skon hesitated as he considered what had obviously happened.  The bonding had taken place without the ceremony that would have symbolically shown the unity between Vulcan and Human; however, there was no sense of umbrage within him.

"I accept the bonding," Skon sonorously said as he watched the relief on two faces, one more transparent that the other.  "I have a daughter."

"Father," Amanda warmly said.  "I am honored."

"Allow me an indulgence," the elder Vulcan said as the couple quickly glanced at each other.  Skon moved away from the monitor for a moment, but soon returned.  He raised an eyebrow at the screen as he spoke.  "A human tradition is to offer a toast at special occasions, is it not?"

"It is," Amanda agreed, puzzled by Skon's question.  She broke into a wide grin, however, as the Vulcan raised a tiny cup up to the screen.

"A toast, then," he said.  "To the little things."

Amanda raised an imaginary cup to the screen, her fingers held in the right position for a monek.  "To the little things," she responded, blinking back tears.  Sarek seemed momentarily bewildered, but then reached out and enfolded Amanda's hand in his.

"To the little things," he added as he reveled in her happiness.  "May they attain all that they desire."


THE END


Author's note:  I would like to extend my deep gratitude to all who have read and reviewed `A Fragile Destiny'.  This story has been a labor of love now for nearly seven months, and I've enjoyed working on it from beginning to end.  Yes, I know that I've left several outstanding issues.  Will poor John Grayson ever recover?  What will be his reaction, and that of his wife and sons, to the bonding?  Will T'Dpel and the rest of the Family welcome a human into their midst?  Answers shall be provided in a sequel I'm outlining now.

Coming soon!  `Destiny's Promise'

Amanda and Sarek have bonded and are learning more about each other as their wedding day approaches.  Can they survive the seemingly constant threats to their happiness, including a few shocking secrets that threaten their bonding?

Hooked yet?  <eg>  A sincere thanks to those members of the Sarek and Amanda yahoo group who have encouraged me and offered advice. 

Thanks again, folks!  Keep writing!