Title: A Failed Lesson in Control
Author: Saidicam29
Rating: NC-17
Codes: Sa/Am
Disclaimer: To be
honest, if
Summary: I suppose this is a bit of a disclaimer as well. This story is very silly! A few weeks ago T'Sia made a comment that she thought it would be fun to read a sex scene between Sarek and Amanda that doesn't go as well as they'd hoped. This is my effort to fulfill that wish…
Sarek wearily entered the security code to his small Shi'kahr townhouse. He walked inside, listening for the locks to automatically engage, then set his bags aside in the foyer. He had been gone for nearly three weeks – 19 days, 22 hours, 16 minutes and 43 seconds, his tired mind supplied automatically. Gone from his office, from his home, and most importantly, from his new wife. Amanda had been expecting him some hours before, and while unavoidable, Sarek struggled to suppress a sense of guilt at disappointing her.
He moved down the hallway and entered the living area. Through the doorway, he could see the dining table set for two with extinguished candles and desert flowers adorning the table's surface. Amanda was often doing special things for him. He had explained – before they had even married – that going to such extremes was unnecessary, and therefore illogical, but she persisted. The corner of his lips turned up when he spotted a handwritten card sitting in his spot. Sarek walked to the table to read the card, his tiny smile spreading slightly from the declaration of love from Amanda. Shaking his head at her effusiveness, Sarek heard the soft patter of Amanda's slippers behind him, and turned to greet his wife.
"You're home," she uttered sleepily, coming forward to pull him down for a kiss.
Sarek permitted the affection, and wrapped his arms around her, continuing the embrace after she had pulled away. "I apologize for my lateness."
"S'okay," she murmured, closing her eyes while she rested against him. "I missed you."
Sarek didn't respond, but as his hands roamed across her back, she could feel his emotion wash over her. "You are tired; return to bed. I will eat then join you."
Amanda shook her head, moving away enough to steer Sarek to his chair. "I made dinner for you, it's in the warmer." She disappeared into the kitchen but returned shortly thereafter with a heaping plate of pok tar, one of Sarek's preferred choices. She placed the plate before him and took a seat while Sarek eagerly dug in.
"You are not eating?" he asked when he noticed she had not served herself.
"I ate earlier," she explained, to which he briskly nodded and resumed consuming his dinner. Amanda watched him, brimming with feminine pride with the way Sarek enjoyed her cooking – despite his mother's insistence that she made the meals improperly! "I had bought something special to wear tonight, for our dinner." Sarek nodded, but didn't pause in his ingestion. Amanda reached out to cover his hand with hers, giving him a gentle squeeze. "You keep eating, I'll go change into my outfit then I can welcome you home properly."
Sarek quietly watched her leave the room, enjoying the view. He didn't know what she had planned for the evening, but he was certain how it would end. Another smile tugged at his mouth as he looked forward to spending that time with her. The chime of their front door disrupted his thoughts, and his dinner, and with obvious reluctance, Sarek answered it.
He was pleased to find his parents awaiting him on the outside. Skon and T'Lara greeted him warmly, each in turn holding their hands up, palms out, to embrace their first born. Sarek escorted them to the dining room, serving them some savas-masu and settling in to recount the activities of the past three weeks.
"Amanda did not contact me while you were gone, however, Silek spoke with her several times and reported that all seemed well." Skon looked pointedly at the candles. "Did she experience power failure?"
"The power grid is functioning," Sarek vaguely replied.
"She is not attending to you." T'Lara's quiet censure filled the room.
"She is changing into more appropriate attire," Sarek assured her, keeping his voice level, but his defensiveness was evident to everyone in the room.
Skon shot his wife a warning look. "Tell us of your mission, Sarek. Have you made progress with the Kerillians?"
"I have," Sarek answered, eager to be on a safer subject. "The President of--"
"Here I am!" Amanda's sing-song voice echoed from the stairway, halting all conversation. Three heads turned to the doorway, awaiting the newest daughter to the Surak line. Amanda sauntered into the dining room, posing against the door jamb, her back arched and head thrown back seductively. The red denier teddiette clung tightly against her, her breasts straining against the lace trim. Amanda closed her eyes and slid a hand up her thigh, pushing the see-thru cover-up away as she rested her hand on her hip, giving Sarek a full view of what lay barely covered beneath.
"Amanda…"
The tightness in Sarek's voice told her how affected he was, and she smiled triumphantly, her voice dropping to a sultry tone. "So what do you think?"
"I think fashion trends have changed radically since I last visited Terra."
Amanda's eyes popped open upon hearing Skon's voice, her head whipping to the side to find her new in-laws sitting at the table with her husband. She was frozen, her mouth agape as she frantically thought of something to say, or do. T'Lara's mouth was pressed so tightly, Amanda couldn't decipher one lip from the other, and Sarek clearly was hoping a tek'sia sandworm would rise through the floor and swallow him, or maybe her. Only Skon seemed nonplussed; his only expression a raised brow as his eyes traveled the length of her. It was then that Amanda remembered what he was seeing. With a loud gasp, Amanda threw her arms across her breasts in vain and ran from the room.
There was complete silence in the dining room, the Vulcan hearing permitting them all to track her progress up the stairway and down the hall to the end of the house, where she slammed the bedroom door, hard. No one moved for several minutes, then T'Lara gently pushed her glass of savas-masu away.
"Outrageous," she muttered.
Sarek finally took a breath, feeling a little lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. "I should go to her."
"You should buy her appropriate clothing," his mother scolded.
"Come, wife," Skon stood, holding his paired fingers to his wife. "It appears we are an interruption."
"An interruption to what?"
Skon looked into his wife's eyes, their communication silent except through the bond. With a sound of disgust T'Lara stood from her seat, wrapping her robes tightly around herself. "I will await you in the flitter."
Skon watched her go, amused with her discomfort, then looked at his son, who refused to meet his gaze. "We will take our leave now, son," he said, stepping up to Sarek and placing a calming hand upon his shoulder. Skon leaned down until his face was parallel to his son's. "I rather liked it," he teased, not missing the surge of green that filled the tip of Sarek's ear. With a comforting squeeze, he released his son and left to find his wife, preparing for the litany of complaints he would hear this night regarding their son's choice of mate.
Sarek quickly cleared the table and shut down the lights. He slowly opened their bedroom door, finding Amanda's garment thrown carelessly on the floor. Looking around, he decided the lump hidden beneath their blankets must be his bride. Sarek entered the room, quietly closing the door, then sat beside the lump. "Your…intention was generous," he soothed, hoping he was speaking to the head end of the lump.
"Why didn't you tell me they were here!"
Sarek shrugged, illogical since she could not see him. "I did not realize what you were doing."
There was a loud groan and some slight movement as Amanda tightened into an even smaller ball. Sarek stood and removed his clothing, pulling the blankets back to slip into bed, and find his wife. She was there, in a fetal position, clothed in a large, drab, Vulcan nightwear – a gift from his mother. Sarek pulled her up beside him, covering them both back up and holding her in his arms. "This will pass."
Amanda shook her head. "Your parents hate me," she bemoaned.
"No," he assured her. "My parents are Vulcan, they hate no one." Her silence spoke of her disbelief. "Skon approves of you." The fact that his mother did not was something they both knew. "More so after tonight, I think."
There was a pause, in which Sarek nervously waited for her reaction, then Amanda's chortle allowed him to relax.
"He sure got an eyeful."
"Hmm, yes. And no doubt is praising the longevity of Vulcan memory as we speak."
Amanda laughed, still a bit self-conscious, but quickly overcoming it. "I bet your mother never dresses so for him."
Sarek didn't relish the thought. "I would think that a safe bet," he agreed.
Amanda sighed loudly, shaking her head. "I ruined this whole evening, didn't I?"
"No." Sarek turned on his side, cradling her face and pressing a kiss against her lips. "This evening was simply…a series of unfortunate events." He lay back down, settling into the mattress for the night. "Let us sleep tonight, and tomorrow we can celebrate my homecoming…and I promise not to answer the door this time."
Amanda smiled in the dark, snuggling against Sarek's warmth, grateful that her husband favored his father far more than he favored his mother.
**~~**
Sarek awoke early, as he generally did, and left his wife sleeping while he got some work done in his office. He was deep into his PADD files, sending and receiving edited version of negotiations with Soran, and working out the terms of the Kerillian treaty. He ignored the soft knock at his door, but it opened anyway, and Amanda's head peeked around the edge. "It's afternoon; can you take a little break to eat?"
"I can," Sarek answered, taking time to finish his thought then put the PADD aside.
Amanda pushed the door open and stepped inside, pushing it closed with her foot. Sarek's eyes widened when he noticed she wore the same outfit from the previous night.
"How about that homecoming now?"
"I…am uncertain I have time to…celebrate fully."
Amanda furrowed her brow, feigning a pout. "Well, I guess we'd better skip lunch then, hadn't we?" She put the tray on a side table, then slipped onto Sarek's lap.
"Would you not prefer to wait until tonight, when we can…devote our full attention to this?"
Amanda leaned forward, kissing him soundly on the mouth. "It's been three weeks, Sarek; I'm desperate." She kissed him again, sliding her tongue gently across his lips, then delving deep inside when he opened them.
Sarek met her enthusiasm, permitting himself to loosen his control and become aroused. He ran his fingers gently across her cheek, then down her throat and still lower until he brushed against her breast, feeling her harden beneath his touch. A low moan escaped from Amanda, becoming Sarek's undoing, and he raised them both up, pushing his desk's contents aside to lay her upon the surface. He stepped back to move between her legs, reaching out to unfasten the seal located at the junction of her thighs. Leaning over her, he resumed their kiss while he worked the fabric over her hips, exposing her to his questing fingers.
She was already wet, her scent wafting over him. Amanda tugged on his shirt; Sarek stood long enough to divest himself of the garment and throw it across the room, where it landed next to the door. He went back to his wife, lying fully upon her, running small kisses along her throat and chest.
The door chimed sounded, causing them both to jump. They each looked sheepish at their reaction. "Don't you dare," Amanda warned him.
"I will not answer," Sarek assured her, resuming his ministrations.
Amanda reached between them, pulling at a string between her breasts. "It loosens," she said, showing him.
Sarek gently pushed her hand away, taking over the task himself to bare her to him. Looking up to catch her reaction, Sarek flicked his tongue across a nipple, relishing the look of passion that clouded her face. Amanda threw her head back, abandoning herself to the sensation he evoked.
The click of a doorknob turning sounded alarms in Sarek's mind, and he quickly pulled Amanda up against him, trying to cover her as much as possible. He ignored her protest, and managed to find his chair, pulling her onto his lap, and hugged her against his chest as the door opened and Soran stepped through.
"Sarek--"
Soran's eyes flew open, his jaw dropping as he took in the sight before him. "Forgive me," he muttered, tossing the PADD onto the floor before him and fleeing the room. He tried to close the door, but Sarek's tunic had caught on his foot and was wedged between the door and doorjamb, preventing it from latching. Several times the door opened just a tad, and Soran attempted to kick the shirt aside and close the door, but to no avail. Finally he opened the door and leaned in, grabbing the shirt with his hand and tossing it blindly into the room before closing the door and fleeing the house.
His wits finally kicking in, Sarek called out to him, to no avail, so with an apologetic utterance to his wife he left her to chase after his friend, hoping Soran would not be too scandalized. Soran was gone however; a look about the yard confirming that he had been moving at a terrific rate of speed. Sarek returned to the office, finding Amanda refastened into her garment and holding his shirt to cover herself. "Well…we are alone now, at least."
With a frustrated growl, Amanda flung his shirt at him as she left the room. Sarek again listened to the slam of their bedroom door.
**~~**
Sarek closed the comm. connection in which he and Soran stiffly discussed their business, on audio only as his friend was not prepared to face him, but the fact that they spoke at all assured them both that all was well between them. Amanda had not emerged from their room yet, and Sarek had not the courage to go to her immediately after. 'A series of unfortunate events,' Sarek thought to himself, wondering at the statistical probability of them being disrupted this many times in this short a time.
Closing down his computer, Sarek rose from the desk to retrieve his wife. Perhaps a soak in the clan mud bath would relax her – relax them both. After some protest, Sarek finally convinced her to go with him, and they sank into the underground tub located on the family ceremonial grounds.
Sarek wore nothing, as Vulcan would not, but Amanda – being more modest – wore a 'bathing suit' into the mud. They sank in, the dense earth sucking them down, keeping them immersed. They sat there in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Sarek reached a foot out in Amanda's direction, finding contact with her left calf, and slowly moved his foot down her leg to play with her foot. Amanda had done something similar to him in the past when they were sitting at a diplomatic function that she had found rather boring.
His actions bought a smile to her face, and she looked at him, moving her own foot along his leg as well. Taking the invitation, Sarek moved closer, standing in front of Amanda and bracing his arms on both sides of her, trapping her within.
"What are you doing?" she asked playfully.
Sarek didn't answer, but leaned into her, brushing his lips gently against hers, deepening it when she responded in kind. Amanda wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him close.
"Kroykah!" his mother scolded, tearing the lovers quickly apart.
"Right on time," Amanda muttered, earning her another glare from the matriarch.
Sarek moved back to his original position, watching as Skon and T'Lara gracefully entered the mud bath as well.
Normally the mud baths were a time of quiet reflection, a time to connect and bond with family. Now it was filled with a tense silence.
"I think I've had enough for today," Amanda said, trying to pull herself from the mud's grip and exit the tub.
Sarek reached over to assist. "I will accompany you."
"We would speak with you, Sarek'am," T'Lara interjected.
Since she couldn’t see his face, Sarek permitted himself a small grimace. "I'll find my own way home," Amanda assured him, leaving Sarek to face his parents alone.
T'Lara watched Amanda's departure until she was out of hearing range. "We are offering you assistance," she informed him.
Sarek's head tilted in confusion. He looked to his father for clarification. "Your mother," Skon stressed, "believes that you are suffering from some affliction."
"What affliction would that be?"
Skon and T'Lara exchanged an uneasy glance. "Unresolved…urges," his father muttered.
Sarek swallowed hard, struggling to keep color from flushing his face.
"It would not be completely unexpected. Even with Vulcan wives, some men are afflicted so," T'Lara explained. Sarek looked away.
"I do not agree with her analysis," Skon assured him.
"It is not normal," T'Lara insisted, "this constant need to…engage. At least consult T'Pau, Sarek'am, let our reldai decide if you require her assistance."
"Mother," Sarek pleaded.
"If nothing else, then do it for your wife. It is not fair to her, to constantly have to appease your…craving."
Sarek lost the battle and felt the tips of his ears burn.
"Amanda is human," Skon explained wearily, no doubt not for the first time. "Humans behave differently in these matters."
"Sarek is not!" she insisted.
"It is logical that marriage to a human would be somewhat…different."
"Even for Humans, such behavior, at all times?"
"Please," Sarek interrupted. "I assure you I am well. I beg forgiveness for any…untoward activities you may have witnessed, but it is perfectly normal – for us." A look of disgust briefly crossed T'Lara's features, causing a knot to form in his stomach. He cleared his throat nervously. "I must see to my wife now…" He crawled out of the tub, slipping his robe around him as he left, not daring to look back.
~~**~~
Sarek approached the perimeter of his estate, knowing by the illumination inside that Amanda had arrived home safely. He paused, resting against the hard sandstone gate, staring at their home while the image of his mother's disgusted expression – a lapse rarely ever witnessed – floated through his mind. It was not unresolved urges; his Time with Amanda went better than either of them had expected. Besides, Sarek could definitely say his desire for his wife had not increased since his Time; he had always been affected thus by her. But was his mother right; was it abnormal? Perhaps Amanda's humanity was affecting him? Was it evident to everyone? Would it get worse?
"Sarek'am."
Sarek stirred at his father's voice, and turned to find the elder man alone. Skon approached his son, turning to match Sarek's posture against the gate. "I can recall when your mother and I lived in this house upon our marriage."
Sarek's eyes flicked to his father, then returned to gaze unseeing at the estate. "Of course you can."
Skon took a deep breath. "Amanda is much different than your mother which, I think, T'Lara finds…disconcerting."
"Amanda is doing her best--"
"Amanda is a good wife," Skon agreed, "but she has…changed you."
Sarek fidgeted. "Change is inevitable for any person." He waited, hoped, for some comment from Skon, but as the silence grew longer, Sarek grew more distraught. "Mother is inaccurate in her description. It is not all the time…I have been away for several weeks, and Amanda--"
Skon held up a hand, stopping Sarek. "Keep private things private, my son. There are things that even the family need not know…or see," he added, as an afterthought. He witnessed the green tinge infuse Sarek's cheeks, and frowned in dismay. "I think it is good that you and Amanda…appreciate each other," he began.
"Mother does not," Sarek said morosely.
"You mother," Skon paused, looking for the appropriate words for his thoughts. "Well, I believe Humans would say 'she doth protest too much'."
Sarek raised a brow in wonderment.
"Nevertheless," Skon continued, "I believe her concern might have some validity. Control has never been easy for you, and while it is not uncommon for bondmates to…relax in the privacy of their home, particularly in your case, your lassitude had spread to other realms of your life. This cannot be, Sarek'am."
Sarek bowed his head in shame. "What do you suggest?"
"The most effective solution is to abstain from physical affection outside your Time." He did not miss the flood of panic in Sarek's eyes. "However," he amended, "I would not wish to damage your bond, and I am uncertain how such actions would affect a human marriage."
Sarek quickly nodded, relieved.
"Instead, for now, I would suggest you practice separating these factions of your life. You must maintain proper decorum in front of others at all times, and to do this I suggest you restrict your contact with Amanda, physically as well as mentally."
"Father…"
"She must learn to know what you are thinking, how you feel, without you showing her. If she cannot, then she must at least learn to forego such assurance until the proper time and place. My suggestion, Sarek'am, is that when outside your sleepchamber you do not touch each other in any manner. Perhaps in the future, when the marriage has had time to calm you both, you can reinstate some appropriate signs of affection."
Sarek was silent, head bowed, eyes focused on his feet. His words failed him, and all he could do was agree to his father's terms.
Skon sighed, finding no relief in his son's accord. He admitted that he, himself, was not the perfect model of Vulcan control, and no doubt he was responsible for Sarek's own laxity, but this was for the best. Sarek already faced censure from outsiders, as well as family, for choosing a Terran wife. If he was not careful, he would lose all respect from his peers, and being unemployed and ostracized wouldn't help their marriage. "One more comment, then I will take my leave." He turned to face Sarek, folding his arms, his hands tucked into the opposing sleeve. "One day, if you are blessed, you and Amanda will have children. In our house, your mother was more stringent than I, and that was a comfort to me because I knew if I lapsed she would not. You, however, do not have that luxury. Amanda does not control; therefore, the burden of ensuring your child has the skills to thrive in our society rests on you alone."
Sarek nodded again, contemplating his father's words. With a soft touch on his shoulder, Sarek heard his father turn and walk back the way he'd come. Sarek took a deep breath, holding it for as long as he could before slowly releasing it. Lifting his head, he walked through the gate and into the house. He and Amanda had much to discuss.
**~~**
Sarek could not find Amanda in the living room, or the kitchen, and a peek into the bedroom proved fruitless, but he was able to hear the water shower running in the master lavatory. Sarek called her name through the door, but she did not respond. Opening it just a bit, Sarek called to her again, but still she did not answer. Sarek quietly entered the bathroom and watched her through the steam-covered door, her hands roaming her body as she slowly washed herself. Amanda leaned back against the wall, her hands once more washing her breasts, then trailing down her stomach to the junction between her legs. There she washed some more, rubbing herself gently, thoroughly. The humidity in the room enough to make Sarek uncomfortable, he removed his robe – sullied with dried mud – and placed it into the laundry chute. He grabbed the hand sonic and quickly ran it over his own body, removing any lingering mud that remained. When he turned back, Amanda was still washing, her head now turned towards the back wall, her hips rocking to and fro in a motion even Sarek could recognize.
Moving closer, Sarek carefully cracked the shower door open, just enough to watch his wife. Her right hand cupped her mound, her fingers moving furiously between the folds that covered her sex. Her other hand moved over her breast, squeezing and tugging gently on the nipple, which she had already worked to attention. Her breathing was rapid, her eyes closed tight, mouth agape in concentration. Sarek's own jaw dropped in surprise. Just then the climate control turned on the fan to reduce the humidity in the room, causing a breeze to penetrate through the opened shower door.
Amanda turned her head, jumping when she spotted Sarek. "What are you doing?!" she demanded, ducking under the spray of water. Sarek entered the shower, a tight fit since Vulcan showers aren't designed to accommodate more than one, and closed the door behind him.
"I was going to ask you the same."
Amanda busied herself with her ablutions. "I'm washing up, what do you think?"
"I think you should have used the common springs, like we usually do after using the mud baths."
"I did," Amanda said defensively, "but there are certain spots the mud goes that I don't wish to wash in public."
"Yes…I saw," Sarek quipped, reaching out to draw Amanda up against him. "But I do not think you were just washing," he murmured into her ear. She said nothing in return, just looked straight ahead at the water beating against her stomach. Sarek kept one arm around her waist, then reached out to grab her other hand with his, guiding it back to her womanhood. Amanda balked, trying to pull her hand away. "Do what you were doing before," Sarek encouraged her. "I did not mean to interrupt."
"No," Amanda pulled out of his embrace, stepping into the spray, then turning around to face Sarek, pressing herself against the wall. This still put them within inches of each other, but it was the best she could do.
"Why? You appeared to be enjoying it…"
"No!" Amanda quickly denied.
"No?" Sarek watched her warily, considering this. No…he did not believe her. He knew that look she had, and he knew how much she enjoyed him touching her so. Understanding suddenly dawned. "It is private?"
Amanda nodded wordlessly.
Sarek nodded in return. "Then…I cannot watch?"
Amanda covered her face with both her hands. "No." She pushed the shower head up, putting the spray in Sarek's face while she attempted her escape.
Sarek did not relent. He caught Amanda's arm and pulled her back against him, turning them to both put the water spray at his back, and trap his wife between him and the wall. "I wish to see what happens if you do not stop."
"What do you think happens?!"
"Fulfillment?" Now he could see the blush coloring his wife's face. She buried her face in his neck. "You can do that by yourself?" he asked incredulously.
Amanda pulled back to look at him now. "Of course. Can't you?"
Sarek considered this for several seconds. "I have never attempted it."
Now it was Amanda who appeared incredulous. "You've never, ever…" she looked down at his member, "touched yourself?"
"Not for the purpose you were." He shrugged at her dubious expression. "It did not occur to me."
"Oh…" Amanda took a deep breath, releasing it. "Well, why don't I get out of here, and you can give it a shot?" She shot him a too bright smile, her expression hopeful.
Sarek just watched her, his own expression carefully blank. "Why would I do that when you are here?" A thought suddenly occurred to him, furrowing his brow. "Do you prefer doing that yourself, rather than with me?" What if his mother were right?!
"No! No, no…" she rubbed her hands over his chest soothingly. "You do a much better job." She nearly laughed when Sarek straightened, puffing up with male pride.
"Good."
Amanda wrapped her arms around him, hugging him hard. "Too bad this shower is so small…"
"Hmmm," Sarek murmured pensively, distracted by the feel of his soft, wet woman pressing against him. "We do have the matter of your unsated lust to contend with."
Amanda's eyes widened. "I don't want to put you out…"
"No," Sarek said adamantly, his conversation with Skon completely forgotten for the moment. "I do not neglect my duties. It would be…unVulcan." He gently pushed her back against the wall, kissing her lips, then trailed a path down her throat, giving attention to each breast before moving lower, only to find the shower would not accommodate him bending that low. Sarek struggled to pull his legs gracefully beneath him, without losing his place on Amanda. He was not successful.
Amanda stifled a giggle. "I told you it was small."
"Indeed," Sarek stood back up. "No matter." He leaned back in to kiss her neck, pulling her ear gently between his lips. His fingers reached between them, massaging her. He felt her sigh blissfully, then her hand grasped him and began stroking. It didn't take long for Sarek to harden under her ministrations.
"Now what do we do," Amanda asked breathlessly. "We can't lie down."
"Turn around," Sarek ordered, attempting to position himself behind her, but the close quarters did not allow them sufficient maneuvering room.
Amanda turned back to face him, pulling him down for a kiss. "Let's go to the bedroom."
"Wait," Sarek gripped her around the waist, lifting her high. "Put your legs around me." When she did, he moved back until her feet touched the wall behind him, then he gently lowered her until she rested against both walls, supporting her lower back with his hands. He pushed her away until he was able to position himself at her entrance, then gently guided himself within her.
Carefully, he lifted her up and down a few times, testing their position, then pulled her close and tried thrusting his hips instead. Amanda gasped, deciding Sarek's choice of technique. He backed her further against the wall, squeezing her between it and him, and used his hands to hold her hips in place, allowing him to thrust harder. It was a new sensation for him, she was tight, and the shower still beat hard against his back, pleasuring him from both sides. He was tense; the pressures of work and his family had closed around him, and once again, Sarek was finding solace in Amanda's arms. His parents' words echoed in his mind, but he refused to listen. Sarek closed his eyes, losing himself to the sensation, the gasps and pants from Amanda intermingling with his grunts of exertion. Amanda moaned his name, her nails digging into his shoulders leaving dark green crescents in their wake.
The hot steam was taking its toll on Sarek, so he rested his head against her chest, steadying himself. Droplets of sweat and water streamed past his nose and mouth; his tongue snaked out to drink off her. His pressure was building, his pending climax contributing to his stress, his posture stiffening as he attempted to control, to hold it all in until his wife had found her own fulfillment. At last, he felt her tightened around his shaft, her climax close. Sarek leaned back, pushing his hips forward and thrusting into her as hard and fast as their surroundings would permit. The pressure was intense, both agony and ecstasy. Sarek gritted his teeth in effort not to let go. He heard her cry out, her vaginal walls pulsing around him as she came, and igniting his own release. Sarek clamped down hard, the ache in his jaw unnoticed as intense pleasure exploded from within his groin. Gradually it spread down his legs and up his back, the muscles finally relaxing, one by one. Sarek leaned forward, resting his weight on Amanda, letting her legs drop down by his thighs. His breathing began to slow, his eyelids growing heavy as he relished in his consummation.
A soft, high-pitched squeak filled the shower, echoing off the close walls to resound upon the shower's occupants. Sarek stiffened at once, eyes wide, clamping down of the offending muscle, but his actions only increased the pitch of the noise. Sarek began mentally berating himself before the event had completely expired.
"What was that?" Amanda asked, eyeing his suspiciously.
Sarek gently released his wife, lowering her onto her feet, then wordlessly exited the shower. Amanda watched him, bewildered.
Amanda dried off and slipped into her casual robe. When she entered the bedroom Sarek had changed into his meditation garb, and was headed out the door.
"Wait a second," Amanda halted him. Sarek stopped but remained standing in the doorway, facing away from her. He coughed softly. "You okay?"
"Yes," he answered simply, sparing a brief glance at her over his shoulder. "An effect of the steam."
"No…that's not what I meant." She moved to the bed, sitting gently on its edge, then patted the space beside her.
Sarek shuffled in his place. "Can it not wait, Amanda?"
Amanda took a deep breath. "I suppose… I just wanted to…I mean… Did what I think happened, happen?"
Sarek stiffened indignantly. "I apologize, aduna, it was entirely unintentional--"
"Oh no, don't apologize." She assured him. "It's just…I think that's the first time I've ever known you to do that. Besides…I'm sure I've committed such a faux pas in your presence a time or two."
"Daily," Sarek uttered.
"What--?"
"To be more precise, nightly." Sarek turned towards her, finding solace in turning the discomfort on someone else. "In your sleep, every night, you…emit."
"Really," Amanda's face grew bright red, and she began plucking obsessively at the comforter on the bed. "Well then…I guess you owed me one."
Sarek's brows rose appallingly. "It is not a matter in which I wish to keep score!"
"No!" Amanda exclaimed. "That's not what I meant. I just didn't want you to feel embarrassed; it's a perfectly natural…phenomenon."
Sarek shook his head. "It is not the event that…concerns me. If is that lack of control, that it happened in an inappropriate time and place that is distressful."
Amanda rolled her eyes. 'They even control their farts,' she thought to herself. 'That explained the pained look they get sometimes.'
Sarek approached his wife, finally taking a seat beside her. "It is a symptom of a much larger issue."
Amanda flicked her eyes his way. "What do you mean?"
Sarek pressed his lips into a thin line, looking at the floor in contemplation. This was difficult; as difficult for him to say as it would be for Amanda to hear. "Skon spoke with me a short time ago. He is of the opinion that our…association…has deteriorated my control to an unacceptable level."
"Your father said this?" she asked, stressed.
Sarek nodded, burdened by the hurt he saw in her eyes. Sarek took her hand in his comfortingly. "I explained to you the importance of control in Vulcan society. That the expression of emotion, whether positive or negative, is considered vulgar."
She nodded impatiently.
"When our…displays…are seen by others, it offends them, and dishonors us, and our clan."
"You said what happens between us, in private, was okay," she briskly reminded him.
Sarek nodded. "Yes, but when it is seen by others it stops being private. Or, as Skon believes, when our behaviors in private affect our ability to behave appropriately in public, then it is unacceptable."
Amanda tsked angrily. "When have we ever done anything in public?"
"In front of my parents," he quietly reminder her, "in front of Soran…"
"They were in our house!" she yelled, her raised voice causing Sarek to scowl at her in disapproval. "If they don't like what they see here, maybe they should start respecting our privacy a bit?"
"They do," Sarek retorted. "Skon, Soran…even Silek… The fact that they chime before entering our home is evidence of their respect for us – for you. Before I brought you here, they would have no need for such actions. There was nothing in my life kept secret from them."
"So it's all my fault," Amanda threw up her arms, and leapt from the bed, pacing the floor.
Sarek stood as well. "It is not a matter of blame, it simply is."
Amanda stopped, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot angrily against the floor. "So what are we supposed to do about it?"
Sarek swallowed hard, the words difficult to pass. "Skon suggests that we… separate, for a time."
"He wants one of us to move out?!"
Sarek's brow wrinkled in confusion. How did they always have these misunderstandings? "Not move out. Separate, physically." Sarek held his hands up, palms touching, then slowly drew them apart. "To no longer touch."
Amanda pressed her fingertips against her brow in frustration. "Literally, to no longer touch…" She shook her head, dropping her hands and looking blatantly at her husband. "How can two people who live together never touch each other."
"Not never," Sarek clarified, "just not outside this room."
Amanda nodded in reluctant understanding. "And you agree with this?"
Sarek grimaced apologetically. "I do," he admitted. "For now, to accustom ourselves to…more appropriate expression of affections."
"And what constitutes an 'appropriate expression of affection'?" she mocked.
Sarek shrugged minutely. "I suppose, my parents…"
Amanda hugged her arms in front of her. "I don't want to be like your parents," she pleaded, her voice thickening with emotion. "I like us."
Sarek walked over to his wife, cupping her face between his hands. "As do I," he soothed. He leaned down to press a light kiss against her lips. "We will still be us," he promised, "only in a more…Vulcan way."
"What's the Vulcan way?"
"The ozh'esta," he said, referring to the ritual touching of the paired index and middle fingers between bondmates.
Amanda nodded begrudgingly. "I suppose…"
Satisfied, Sarek nodded then released her face, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to walk her beside him as they headed out the door. "It will not be too difficult, Aduna."
Amanda made a non-committal noise. "If you think this is such a great idea… why are you sneaking into my shower?" she teased.
Sarek stopped, stumped. "Well…it is just off the bedroom…an attachment, really, since the only path in is through our bedroom."
Amanda smiled. "I see," her tone clearly indicated she didn't believe a word he said.
Sarek let the subject drop and continued to escort her out the door and down the hallway.
"Sarek," Amanda softly called.
"Yes, Aduna."
"You're still touching me."
Sarek made no motion to withdraw his arm. "Yes," he answered simply. "I am."
The End