Disclaimer: Paramount
owns the characters of this story. I make no money from this and I’m doing this
just for fun.
Summary: The
story describes the day of Sybok's departure and how it affected Sarek, Amanda,
and Spock
Rating: G
Characters: Sa&Am, S
Special
thanks to my beta reader Selek whose advice helped me to complete my first self
written story and who patiently corrected my mistakes.
Silence
enclosed the high mountain plateau. Deep down in the valley below lay the
desert city of Shi’Khar. Buzzing with activity during the day, it lay silent at
the feet of the L'langon mountains during the late evening hours giving the
illusion of peace and serenity.
The figure
that stood on the plateau was outwardly also giving the illusion of peace.
Face
carefully controlled he seemed to regard the scene below him, but in reality
his eyes were focused on his inner world. A world full of conflicting emotions
that his flawlessly logical mind desperately tried to sort out.
He had come out to this place to reach the calm that he always found
here, but the painful events of the day had prevented him from finding his
inner peace. Meditation had only served to cover the whirling emotions inside
him with a thin layer of calmness. Beneath, they were like lava flowing under a
cooled surface; always the same questions threatening to break it open and
allow the emotions to flow.
Could he
have done something to prevent what had happened? Or had he been blinded by his
pride about a son whose telepathic and intellectual abilities were beyond those
of most Vulcans?
Kaiidth!
What was, was. The Council had announced its decision in the late afternoon
leaving Sybok with the obligation to leave Vulcan immediately and never return
home again, and his father with the bitter duty of declaring his firstborn son
dead to the clan and to all of Vulcan. His records were to be deleted from all
files, and his name was never to be spoken out loud again.
Just a few
hours ago he had seen him for the last time.
Sybok was collecting his personal belongings from his room at the estate
leaving behind his home and a younger brother who had difficulties suppressing
his grief; a grief his father felt too, but would never admit or show openly.
The last rays of sunlight touched Sarek’s face as Vulcan’s red glowing
sun disappeared behind the mountains. The distant cry of a le’matya pulled him
out of his thoughts. It was time to leave. The night was closing in fast and
with it the desert predators would be preparing for the hunt. But instead of
leaving he stayed where he was, rooted to the spot. When the sunlight was no
more then a soft glow, he could clearly make out the lights of the shuttles
arriving and departing Shi’Khar’s spaceport.
The voice of the le’matya was heard again, closer this time. Absently,
Sarek calculated the time he had before the hunting cat would reach him. He had
to admit that restoring his inner peace had not been the only reason for
visiting this place. Only thirty-five seconds remained before Sybok’s shuttle
would be leaving.
He knew it was illogical to endanger his life by waiting to view the
shuttle but it didn’t matter to him now. The last words he spoke to Sybok were
the ritual words spoken to a family member that was to be cast out of the clan. After that, he was not permitted to speak to
Sybok again but he would not miss the opportunity to bid his son a final silent
farewell--his own way of coping with his recent loss. After what seemed like an
eternity he could make out the lights of the departing shuttle taking his son
from him forever. They grew faint rapidly as the shuttle sped into the night.
Then they were gone and the moment of goodbye was over. It was time to let go
of the past and return to his wife and the son he still had.
The scratching sound of claws on solid rock coming from behind him
snatched him back to reality and Sarek quickly pulled out his communicator from
one of the deep pockets of his robe and told the computer to beam him home.
Seconds later he materialized outside his Shi’Khar residence. The house lay
quiet and dark before him. Silence engulfed him as he entered save for the
ticking sound of the antique pendulum clock that had been a wedding gift from
Amanda's grandmother.
Silently he
climbed the steps to the second floor. To his left the door to his study stood
partially open and he thought he may give meditation another try. It was time
to control the disturbing feelings and restore the calmness his mind craved. He
knew he would only reach this calmness during meditation, as was Vulcan custom.
With determination he took the two steps to his study when his acute hearing
picked up a rustling noise coming from Spock's room. He stopped in his tracks
and listened. After a few seconds the rustling sound was heard again followed
by a muffled murmur. Thinking his son could be ill he approached the door to
his room and opened it.
In the
light of T'Kuht, Vulcan's sister planet, he was able to make out the shape of
his sleeping son tossing restlessly in his bed. Concerned Spock could have
developed a fever, he approached the bed and reached out a hand to touch the
child's head. At that moment Spock murmured in his sleep again. "Sybok, no
go…father…" He moved his head to the other side and Sarek was able to make
out the track of a tear across his son's cheek glistening in T'Kuht's silvery
light.
Sarek's
hand, still hovering above the child's head, trembled slightly as he watched
his son's vulnerable expression. To his own amazement he lowered it to touch
the boy's cheek and gently wiped away the tear. Establishing a light meld, he
settled Spock's mind into a deep, restful sleep and withdrew his hand. Silently
he regarded his sleeping child. While touching Spock's mind he had felt the
depth of his love for his brother mixed with a kaleidoscope of other emotions.
Emotions. The word echoed in his head. They had led Sybok on a dangerous way
and forced him to give up his home and family.
A pain
stabbed his side when he thought of the possibility of losing Spock in the same
way. ‘Control’ he admonished himself.
That would not happen. He would make sure that Spock learned to strictly
control his emotions and not be overpowered by them. He would receive the best
mental training and Sarek, himself, would monitor his progress. It seemed to be
the only logical solution. It was vital that Spock learn to control his
emotions and never allow them to control his actions. Having finished his
silent vow to himself, he took a deep breath. Making sure that Spock rested
peacefully, he left the room.
Pausing
briefly in the hall, he abandoned the thought of meditation and moved directly
to the master bedroom. He cast a quick glance at his sleeping wife while he
made his way to the adjoining bathroom. He was pleased to see that she seemed
to rest peacefully. Sarek knew that she had a close connection to Sybok too,
and the day's events were difficult for her as well. Leaving the bathroom a
short time later he disrobed and got into bed. He settled into a comfortable
sleeping position and closed his eyes.
When she
was sure that he was asleep, Amanda sat up in bed silently and regarded her
husband. The events of the day had obviously taken their toll on him too. There
was no other explanation for him to not know that she was awake and that he was
broadcasting his thoughts across the marriage bond. Being human, her telepathic
abilities were limited and under normal circumstances she would not easily be
able to shield her thoughts from him and feign sleep. What she had perceived
through the bond concerned her. She knew that Sarek wanted only the best for
Spock but his intent to start the boy’s Vulcan mind training this early deeply
concerned her. She knew Spock. She knew how sensitive he was and she was afraid
that the rigid control Sarek intended to place on him would crush his tender
soul.
She loved her husband with all her heart and soul. Her love for him
gave her the strength to leave her former life behind and follow him to his
alien world. But she knew his determination often bordered on
stubbornness. She knew that the day would
come when the close connection between her and Spock had to loosen up, and when
he would be expected to control his emotions and follow the Vulcan way. In her
opinion this day came too early. In his desperate attempt to do everything to
prevent losing Spock, Sarek overlooked the fact that their son was half human
too. He would need more time and the support of his parents to find his own
special way. She would try to talk to Sarek about this but had little hope of
convincing him of her opinion.
Sadly she
realized that she would be caught in the middle between her love and duties to
her husband and the needs of her child from now on. Sarek had made his vow to
himself and now it was time for her to make her own. She would not go against
her husband. She loved him too much to do that to him but she would not deny
her son the emotional and motherly support that he needed either. Silently she
lay back on the bed and covered Sarek's hand with her own. It was only after a long time that she found
sleep.