Author: mzsnaz
Series: TOS
Rating: G
Characters: Sarek and Amanda
Disclaimer: Star Trek is the property of Paramount and Viacom
Summary: Winning can sometimes come at too high a price. A sequel, of sorts, to ‘A Battle Lost’.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“How long has she been like this?”
“Since we received word of our son’s
death.”
“It would be best to contact a Terran
specialist.”
“Perhaps.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s my fault. You do understand that, don’t you? It’s entirely my fault. I claim it just as I claim the cold reality of his death. I did it. I know it was my fault. Mine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Aduna? My wife, you
must end this now. This…state that you
are in is unacceptable. It is time to
return. It is necessary. I…”
“Sarek, I shall return momentarily.”
“T’hy’la? What has
happened? Spock’s death is devastating
to us both. The Healer has left and we
are alone now. You may tell me now what
has caused this. I cannot lose you
both. I cannot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s my fault. You do understand that, don’t you? It’s entirely my fault. I claim it just as I claim the cold reality of his death. I did it. I know it was my fault. Mine. Yes, T’hy’la, we are alone. We wouldn’t be alone if I hadn’t said what I did. It’s my fault.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You must not initiate a meld,
Sarekam. It is too dangerous at this
time. Allow her time.”
“Healer Saern, how much time should pass
before I can attempt to reach her? I
cannot leave her like this.”
“You must retrieve your son’s katra so
that he may join the ancestors in the Hall of Ancient Thought. You must try, Sarekam.”
“I cannot leave her like this!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s my fault. You do understand that, don’t you? It’s entirely my fault. I claim it just as I claim the cold reality of his death. I did it. I know it was my fault. Mine. Yes, T’Hy’La, we are alone. We wouldn’t be alone if I hadn’t said what I did. It’s my fault.
When he left Vulcan to join the Enterprise in the seemingly vain effort to save Earth, I knew he had left Gol forever behind him. He would never return there. Never.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Try again.”
“Amanda, it is Sarek. What has happened, T’hy’la? You can tell me. Whatever
it is, you can tell me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s my fault. You do understand that, don’t you? It’s entirely my fault. I claim it just as I claim the cold reality of his death. I did it. I know it was my fault. Mine. Yes, T’hy’la, we are alone. We wouldn’t be alone if I hadn’t said what I did. It’s my fault.
When he left Vulcan to join the Enterprise in the seemingly vain effort to save Earth, I knew he had left Gol forever behind him. He would never return there. Never.
He came back to Vulcan for a time. The brief time he was back allowed us some time to heal our relationship. It allowed us time to talk.
That’s when it happened.
That’s when I killed him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I have contacted the Terran
specialists. They have their own ways
to reach those who are withdrawn in such a fashion. Even the Kohlinaru have expressed a desire to assist her. You may leave with the knowledge that you
have done all you can.”
“I have done nothing.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s my fault. You do understand that, don’t you? It’s entirely my fault. I claim it just as I claim the cold reality of his death. I did it. I know it was my fault. Mine. Yes, T’hy’la, we are alone. We wouldn’t be alone if I hadn’t said what I did. It’s my fault.
When he left Vulcan to join the Enterprise in the seemingly vain effort to save Earth, I knew he had left Gol forever behind him. He would never return there. Never.
He came back to Vulcan for a time. The brief time he was back allowed us some time to heal our relationship. It allowed us time to talk.
That’s when it happened.
That’s when I killed him.
He had several life choices in front of him. He was offered a chance to accept another deep space mission. I discouraged him from that. Had he not already spent five years in unexplored space? Was he not ready for something less perilous?
He could have accepted command of a science vessel. Another ship far from home. Far from me. You see how selfish I am, don’t you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I must leave if I am to rendezvous with
my transport. Amanda, I must take my
leave of you now. I am going to Earth
to speak with Kirk. You remember the
Captain? I shall speak with him about
the events on the Enterprise that led to Spock’s death. You and I both know that if there were a
way, our son would have entrusted his katra with Kirk. I must go.
When I return…”
“Ambassador, you must leave now if you
are to…”
“Kroykah! Aduna, I must leave now.
I shall return as promptly as I can.
Now, you must recover from this.
I am here always with you and for you.
You know that is true, my T’hy’la. I cherish thee. Farewell.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s my fault. You do understand that, don’t you? It’s entirely my fault. I claim it just as I claim the cold reality of his death. I did it. I know it was my fault. Mine. Yes, T’hy’la, we are alone. We wouldn’t be alone if I hadn’t said what I did. It’s my fault.
When he left Vulcan to join the Enterprise in the seemingly vain effort to save Earth, I knew he had left Gol forever behind him. He would never return there. Never.
He came back to Vulcan for a time. The brief time he was back allowed us some time to heal our relationship. It allowed us time to talk.
That’s when it happened.
That’s when I killed him.
He had several life choices in front of him. He was offered a chance to accept another deep space mission. I discouraged him from that. Had he not already spent five years in unexplored space? Was he not ready for something less perilous?
He could have accepted command of a science vessel. Another ship far from home. Far from me. You see how selfish I am, don’t you?
It was then that he mentioned a third possibility. There was a position at Starfleet Academy that would entail training Starfleet cadets. I told him it sounded perfect. His wealth of knowledge and experience could be shared. Best of all, he would be earthbound most of the time, except for training missions. He wavered, but I reminded him in a laughing manner that teaching was in his blood. Yes, I can be both charming and persuasive.
So, do you see? Do you understand what I did? How can Sarek forgive me for what I did? How can he forgive me for killing our son? I’ll never forgive myself. What I did can never be forgiven.
To conciliate matters between us, Spock chose what I wanted for him, and I was thrilled. I was overjoyed. It had happened at long last.
My son finally listened to me.
The End