Healing Contacts
by T'Sia
Disclaimer: Paramount owns
the characters of Star Trek. The
characters of Nell and Alfred are borrowed with friendly permission from the
story 'The Spice of Life' written by T'Lea and Saidicam. The characters of
Daniel Corrigan, Sorel and T'Zan are borrowed from Jean Lorrah's novel 'The
Vulcan Academy Murders'. No copyright infringement is intended. I only played
with them for a while. :) The story is mine. I make no money from this.
Character Codes: Sarek/Amanda,
infant Spock.
Rating: PG-13 for strong emotional scenes
Notes: Many thanks to beta reader Selek,
whose professional skills and comments guided me through this story. Thank you for all your work and
encouragement. Thanks to T'Lea and Saidicam for allowing me to use the
characters of Nell and Alfred Grayson.
Summary: The story takes place during the
time of Amanda's pregnancy. Unexpected complications force Sarek and Amanda to
deal with the emotional strain of fearing for their child's life.
“What could have gone wrong? She was fine when I left this
morning,” Sarek said to himself over and over.
It was twenty minutes ago during his morning class at the VSA where he
taught advanced computer science when he felt a flash of panic and pain from
his wife. He stopped his lecture about databases mid-sentence causing his
students to look up curiously from their workstations.
He slightly tilted his head and closed his eyes as he concentrated
on sensing his bondmate’s condition. Carefully he touched their marital bond.
<Blood, so much blood! - another flash of panic and pain>
The force of her emotions caused him to stagger backwards.
T’Saleij, a former student of his who was just starting her
practical year before finishing her studies and become a teacher herself,
suddenly stood beside him, grabbing his arm to steady him. The physical well being of another was more
than a sufficient reason to break the taboo against touching another.
At her touch, Sarek’s mind snapped back to reality. Before he
shielded his thoughts from his wife’s strong emotions to regain his own
control, he projected encouragement and the assurance of sending help to her.
Clearing his throat he managed a raspy, “Thank you,” to the young
woman that still held his arm. Realizing that he had regained his control, she
released him and took two steps back to restore the proper distance. Losing no time, he told her to finish the
lesson for him as he would be leaving to take care of a family emergency. After she had nodded her assent, he left the
room as fast as dignity would allow.
Entering his office to drop off his lecture notes, he saw the
blinking comm unit. With a quick glance he saw that Amanda’s healer, Dr. Daniel
Corrigan, had left him a message. He listened tensely as Dr. Corrigan explained
that there had been severe complications with Amanda’s pregnancy and that they
had already beamed her to the emergency center of the medical complex. The message hit him like a blow. “Not again,”
he moaned silently.
He had known the instant he felt the pain from Amanda that
something was wrong with the baby. Nevertheless, hearing it from Amanda’s
personal doctor, and seeing the ever-smiling human this tense told him that the
situation was indeed serious. He now
was not only concerned about losing his child, but he feared for Amanda’s life
as well. Grabbing the key card for his
flitter he quickly left his office. Passing his secretary on his way out, he
told her to cancel all his meetings for the remainder of the day before
leaving.
Upon his arrival at the medical complex he was met by Sorel’s
wife, T’Zan, who showed him to his former classmate’s, and old friend’s private
office. She told him briefly what had
happened.
Apparently the placenta had torn way from the uterine wall,
causing massive bleeding. This also
caused Amanda’s body to want to reject the fetus. Sorel and Dr. Corrigan were now in the operating room trying to
rescue the lives of mother and child. T’Zan mentioned some more details, but
Sarek was barely listening. He was no
healer, but he expected that the blood loss must have weakened Amanda severely
and the chances for the survival of their child were even lower. He tried to
calculate them but the exact number eluded him.
Suddenly, he realized that T’Zan had stopped talking. She regarded him silently, her expression
neutral although he could see a brief flash of understanding in her dark eyes.
Having lost a child herself, she knew what Sarek must be going through. She
softly addressed him. “I must return to my work now. You can wait here until
Sorel returns. He will give you further details on your wife and child’s
condition.”
Sarek nodded but remained silent.
After T’Zan had left the room he seated himself on the couch that
stood against one wall. Suddenly rage surged through him and the knowledge that
he could do nothing to help his wife and child caused his hands to curl into
tight fists. Slowly his control
returned and he realized how illogical his rage had been. There was nothing he
could have done to prevent what had happened. On the contrary, giving his wife
the emergency beeper which she always carried with her and which alerted
medical personnel instantly when activated had been fortuitous. If she hadn’t been able to activate the
emergency call immediately, she might have bled to death before anyone could
help her, and if he had stayed home instead of teaching his class, he could not
have helped her any faster either. The
only thing he could do now was wait and hope, illogical though it was.
Two hours later the door to Sorel’s office slid open silently and
Sorel walked into the room. He motioned Sarek to one of the chairs in front of
his desk and seated himself in his armchair behind the desk. Sarek took his seat and regarded the healer
tensely. Sorel sat with his hands steepled before him and gathered his
thoughts. What he had to tell his friend was distressing even for a
Vulcan. He looked at Sarek and began to
speak. “They are both alive.”
Sarek let out a relieved sigh but Sorel raised his hand before
Sarek could ask about their condition. “We
were able to stop Amanda’s bleeding but her system is extremely stressed by the
pregnancy, and the enormous loss of blood has weakened her further. In order to
restore her physical strength and stabilize her condition, we put her in
stasis. Her condition is stable now but her recovery will take an unpredictable
amount of time.” Sorel stopped his
explanation when he saw the numb expression on the Ambassador's face.
Realizing that Sorel was intently watching him Sarek restored his
neutral expression and wrapped his control even more tightly around him.
“We will monitor her further and inform you of any changes in her
condition,” Sorel said, finishing his explanation.
Sarek could hardly believe what he had just been told. Carefully
he touched the bond to his wife and felt...silence. For an instant, panic engulfed his mind. He raised a hand to his temple and cast a
concerned look at Sorel. “I am unable
to feel her through the bond,” he managed.
Sorel reassured him that the silence he felt was normal under the
circumstances.
Relieved but embarrassed, he murmured, “I ask forgiveness for my
loss of control, Sorel.”
“The cause is sufficient,” replied Sorel, nodding his
understanding.
His voice still barely above a whisper, Sarek asked carefully, “And
the child?”
Sorel leaned back in his chair, preparing to tell the sad news. “We
had to deliver your son, Sarek. I have
to inform you that his chances of survival are extremely low. He was born
extremely premature even for a fully human child, and his lungs are not yet
completely developed. He is on general life support. You may see him now if you
wish.”
He knew that Sorel would see it as unnecessary if he requested to
see Amanda too. Her condition was stable and there was nothing he could do for
her making his wish to visit her illogical. But somehow logic seemed to be
unimportant now. He only felt a strange urge to convince himself that she was
really alive and the silence he felt from the bond would only be temporary.
The child was another matter. He was so weak he could die at any
moment, and he would lose the chance to see his son alive. “I want to see them both,” he finally
decided, his look at Sorel silently willing his old friend to understand.
Sorel only raised an eyebrow but did not question Sarek’s
decision.
Sorel led him to the Intensive Care Unit of the Neonatal Care
Center. Using his personal access code
he opened the door of the airlock and they entered a small chamber where they
had to change into medical overalls. Antiseptic beams glided over them to
eradicate all manner of germs before they entered the inner chamber.
The whole room was only dimly lit and the humming and beeping of
medical instruments filled the silence of the room. His own tenseness and his
uncertainty of what to expect made them much louder to him than they really
were.
Some of the incubators that lined one wall were illuminated. Sarek
assumed that one of these units contained his son, but he could only make out
infusion tubes and blinking medical instruments. Above each of the incubators
hung a monitor that showed the life signs of the small occupant - all showed
extremely low values.
Seeing Sarek’s questioning look, Sorel shook his head and started
for the door that was on the other side of the room. Upon entering the next
room, Sarek stopped dead in his tracks.
He had thought the other incubators were surrounded by medical
equipment, but it was nothing compared to what he saw now. A whole computer system seemed to be
connected to the small container that stood in the middle of the room. At least
four monitors showed values and graphs of different body functions. Various
lights blinked and machines were busily beeping and collecting data. The interior of the incubator was also
filled with various infusion tubes and measuring devices. If he hadn’t known
that his son lay hidden under the enormous amount of medical equipment, Sarek
would never have suspected it.
Sorel stood patiently beside him. He had anticipated this
reaction. Even for a Vulcan it was disconcerting to see one’s child in such a
state. He knew it would take some time for Sarek to accept the situation. Deep
inside he felt sorry for his friend, and in an instant, the picture of his own
daughter lying helplessly in one of these units flashed through his mind. Once again, he felt the pain of losing the
battle for her life. Closing his eyes for a brief moment he restored his
controls and directed his thoughts back to the situation at hand. He approached
the machines that were monitoring the baby and checked the vital signs. He
detected no changes since his last visit - a positive sign seeing as the odds
for a decrease of the life signs were still very high.
He turned back to Sarek who was still rooted to the spot. Catching
his friend’s gaze, he motioned him nearer. Sarek approached the incubator
hesitantly. As he drew nearer, he was finally able to make out the form of an
unbelievably small body under the mass of medical instruments; a body which
seemed to be too tiny and fragile to be a living child.
The boy was lying on his back, both arms stretched out to either
side of his body, linked to the machines by small cuffs and infusion needles.
His head was turned to one side, the eyes tightly closed, his mouth open to
give access to the respirator tube that helped him to breathe. Nevertheless the
color of the tender skin was more a bluish hue than green, indicating a slight
lack of oxygen
Sarek’s gaze was fixed on the helpless baby before him.
Motionless, he stood beside the unit not able to fully comprehend that this
child, who looked more like an undersized baby doll, was his. Only the slight movement of his tiny chest
indicated that he was alive. His gaze shifted to the two access ports on one
side of the incubator. Comprehending his intent, Sorel gave him an encouraging
nod as he slipped one hand cautiously through the force field that separated
the atmosphere inside the incubator from the outer atmosphere. The beams of the
force field tickled him as it cleaned his hand again and prevented any
temperature decrease inside the unit. He hesitated. His own hand seemed to be
impossibly huge compared to the boy’s small body and he did not dare touch him,
afraid he might harm him with his enormous strength.
Just as he was about to draw his hand back, he heard Sorel’s soft
voice. “It is important for the child to feel the presence of a parent. Medical
studies proved an increasing number of premature babies who had regular
physical and psychological contact with their parents survived. However, in
this case, the baby is too young for a real bond, but it might increase his
chances of survival if he feels the physical presence of one of his parents.”
Understanding Sarek’s dilemma, he added, “Lay one of your fingers in his palm
and see what happens. You won’t hurt him.”
Sarek obeyed hesitantly and placed his index finger in the hand of
his son. The tip of his finger was nearly as large as the baby’s whole palm. As
he touched the soft skin, the fingers of the small hand closed miraculously
around his own. He was so startled by this action that he nearly jerked his
hand back but caught himself in time and watched in amazement as the little
fingers held onto him. Vulcan infants had no grip reflex as is typical for
human babies, but obviously the baby had inherited the reflex from his mother.
Brushing his mind tentatively against that of his son he felt no coherent
thoughts but only a whirling mix of sensations.
<brightness - strange sounds -
strange smells >
Remembering the healer’s advice not to meld with his son, he
restored his own shields and finally drew back his hand. Something had changed
inside him. The knowledge that his son would eventually die had been disturbing
to Sarek but having seen and touched the baby made it far more real to him what
he might possibly lose. The enduring bond between a parent and child had been
formed, and whether he would acknowledge it to himself or not, he already felt
the deep love that connected children and parents since the beginning. ‘If only
Amanda could see him,‘ he thought to himself as he cast a last look at his son
and turned to leave the room to see his wife.
***
With Sorel leading the way, the two Vulcans headed for the care
unit that held the stasis patients. They walked in silence, each of them
battling his own memories of seeing his child’s life in danger.
The room that held Amanda’s stasis chamber had no windows and was
only illuminated by the faint lights of the instruments that watched over her
vital signs. Sarek slowly approached the unit, now alone. Sorel had taken his
leave of him, telling him he could stay as long as he wished. According to
Sarek's request, he had been given a key card that would allow him access to
the room whenever he wished.
Standing near the stasis chamber, he watched his beloved wife. She
looked peaceful, only the dark circles and pale color of her skin hinted at the
ordeal and stress she had recently gone through. He longed to take her hand but
the chamber was closed and prevented him from touching her. The monitors above
her head showed stable vital signs, absolutely normal for a stasis patient.
Retrieving the chair that stood in one corner of the room, he sat down and
continued watching her. His mind began to wander and images of Amanda came to
life inside his head. Their wedding on Earth--how beautiful she had been in her
long white dress with tiny red roses tucked in her dark curly hair, her blue
eyes sparkling with joy as she looked up at him and flashed him the most beautiful
smile he had ever seen; the night when he held her in his arms for the first
time--felt her smooth skin beneath him, tasted her lips, heard her sounds of
passion; the great sorrow in her eyes the two times they had lost a child in
the early weeks of her pregnancy; the night a few months ago when she woke him
up in the middle of the night, having felt the first movements of her unborn
child inside her; now she lay in this cold chamber, her health severely damaged
and her full recovery uncertain. He rested his face in his hands, feeling too
many emotions that he was not accustomed to. His control and logic seemed to
have deserted him. After he was sure that his face showed nothing of the battle
inside him, he left the stasis room and headed home.
***
The following six weeks brought an improvement in Amanda’s
condition. Sarek visited her and the baby as often as he could between his
classes at the VSA. He noted with contentment that she seemed to be recovering
well and looked better every day. Sorel and Dr. Corrigan intended to bring her
out of stasis in two weeks.
He had become accustomed to the instruments that surrounded his
son’s bed and sat for long periods of time alternately watching the child or
holding his hand. The boy was still weak but had started to gain weight. The
most important thing was the development of his lungs to prevent damage from
the respirator. He was nine months old
now and would have been born naturally at this time had he been fully human.
His Vulcan genes, however, needed a longer time to develop into a fully viable
child. Sorel and Dr. Corrigan intended for him to stay in the incubator for at
least another two months.
Sarek kept his look focused on his son to hide his disappointment
when Dr. Corrigan informed him of this decision. Amanda would be brought out of
stasis the following day and he had hoped she would be spared the sight of her
child surrounded by so much medical equipment. He believed her health would
still be fragile at the end of the stasis period, and the emotional stress she
would have to endure by seeing her son in his present condition might be too
much for her. He wanted to convince her to wait to see her child until she felt
strong enough, but he knew Amanda’s strong will and doubted he could keep her
away.
After Corrigan had left the room, he reached out and stroked the
soft fuzz of dark hair that had appeared recently on the baby’s head. He
remembered what Sorel had said about the increasing chances of survival for
premature babies who had regular contact with their parents. The slight
increase of the boy’s life signs whenever Sarek touched him showed a positive
reaction to the presence of his father and proved Sorel’s prediction.
‘At least she doesn’t have to see you so weak anymore,’ he thought
as he compared the actual sight of his son to when he had first seen him. The
tone of his skin was now a healthy green, and he seemed more solid and less
fragile than six weeks ago.
Realizing how late it was, he finally decided to leave. He had an
early morning class to teach. Dr.
Corrigan intended to bring Amanda out of stasis sometime around midday and
Sarek was determined to be there. With
a last affectionate look at his son, he rose from the seat and left for home
and a much-needed rest.
***
Waking up the next morning, he looked at Amanda’s side of the bed
for the first time in eight weeks without feeling a twinge of sadness to see it
empty, knowing that his beloved wife would soon be with him again. The silence
in the bond had affected him more than he had expected, leaving him with a feeling
of loneliness that he wished to end as soon as possible. After a sonic shower,
he dressed in his dark blue robes which were Amanda’s favorite, collected his
notes from the study, and left.
***
Four hours later he sat in one of the many waiting rooms of the
medical center while Dr. Corrigan and Sorel brought Amanda out of stasis. Had
he not been Vulcan he would have tapped his fingers nervously on the polished
surface of the chair’s armrests. Of course, a Vulcan was expected to control
such emotions like nervousness but he could not deny his impatience. Showing a
calm expression outwardly, he silently counted each passing minute.
Finally the door to the waiting room opened and Dr. Corrigan
entered. Smiling, he motioned Sarek to follow him. While leading the way to
Amanda’s room Daniel cast a glance at Sarek, his smile broadening in amusement.
“There is no need to be concerned, Sarek. All went well and Amanda will regain
her full health if she takes it easy at first.”
Sarek tried to hide his shock. Had his controls slipped yet again?
“I’m not concerned for myself, Daniel, I’m concerned for my wife’s well being.
A logical reaction regarding the fact…”
Daniel waved off his attempt to rescue his dignity with one hand. “Yes,
a logical reaction indeed,” he murmured softly.
Their arrival at Amanda’s room spared Sarek further discussion and
they entered to see Sorel adjusting the last instruments that would monitor
Amanda’s condition. The room had two large windows that showed one of the many
park-like recreation areas of the medical center. The beams of Vulcan’s sun
bathed the room in a soft red light. While Daniel and Sorel were discussing
more medical details, Sarek approached the bed. Amanda was sleeping. To him she
looked like one of the heavenly creatures-angels-the people of her planet
believed in. Her hair spilled out on the pillow, her face was serene and she
breathed deeply in her sleep.
He had nearly forgotten about Daniel and Sorel, who were still in
the room, when he reached out to take Amanda’s hand.
Daniel excused himself and left while Sorel approached the bed
from the other side. “I will have to meld with both of you in order to reopen
the marital bond. If you touch her unprepared, the sudden union might overwhelm
her.” Seeing the disappointment in
Sarek’s eyes, he added, “The sedative will wear off in a few hours. You may
wait here and call me when she wakes up.”
Drawing back his hand Sarek nodded gratefully and Sorel left the
room. Positioning himself comfortably in the chair beside the bed he set his
mind in a light meditative state that allowed him an immediate reaction to
changes in his surroundings, and began to wait.
***
She seemed to be floating. Darkness surrounded her…and
silence… It was absolutely silent. She
didn’t even feel the slight humming of the marital bond. Of course, she was
human and had no telepathic abilities, but she could always feel the presence
of her husband. But it was all different now. She seemed to be completely
alone.
‘What happened
to me?,’ she thought. ‘Am I dead?’
She tried to remember what had happened to her and suddenly the
memories came rushing back full force.
She awoke early
in the morning. Upon opening her eyes she was greeted with the beautiful sight
of Nevasa that rose like a glowing fireball from the dust of the desert.
She got up and
approached the large window of the master bedroom that showed a view of the
desert in its full beauty.
Red sand dunes stretched toward the horizon.
Between them, there were small places covered with k’vesht, the small flaming red flower that
blossomed only during Vulcan’s nights, and dark brown rock formations.
She opened the
window to breathe in the sweet scent of the night flowers combined with the
crisp cold of a clear night. It would be replaced quickly with Nevasa’s burning
heat as it rose further into the morning sky. The cold of the night had left
tiny dewdrops on the sand and the flowers that glistened like millions of
diamonds in the early morning sun.
‘A harsh but
beautiful world,’ she thought to herself. She felt the tiny movements of her
unborn child. Smiling affectionately, she laid a hand over her rounded abdomen.
‘Good morning, my precious,’ she greeted him silently.
She remembered
the first time she had felt him move. It had been in the middle of the night
and she woke up Sarek not able to conceal her excitement.
She smiled with
the memory at his look of surprise when she placed his hand on her abdomen. The
mask of control had slipped from his face and he had stared in wonder as he
felt the subtle movements.
It was still
almost unbelievable to her that she really carried Sarek’s child. She had wanted it so much and had been
overwhelmed with grief when she had lost the two babies before. But now it seemed
she would be able to carry this child to term. The pregnancy had been difficult
for her. She still felt morning sickness and was fatigued all the time but she
had made it through the first seven months without severe complications and
hoped she would be able to make it through another two before her son had to be
delivered and would be placed in an incubator for the remainder of a normal
Vulcan pregnancy.
The attempt to
create a viable Human-Vulcan hybrid had never been successful before. She hoped
with all her heart that this one would be and that she could hold her son in
just a few months.
Emerging from
her deep thoughts her gaze traveled from the desert into the garden of the
estate that was surrounded by thick stone walls. She regarded her roses that were now in the care of a local
botanist. Sarek had insisted that she not work in the garden and expose herself
to Vulcan’s burning sun during her pregnancy. She knew that Sarek would only
employ the best botanist available in Shi'Kahr, but only she knew the special
demands of Terran plants in Vulcan surroundings. They needed large amounts of
water during the hot season and would be burned by the sun if they were not
sheltered properly.
She knew that
she could not work in the garden while pregnant and the child meant far too
much for her to endanger his life. She decided only to check the amount of
water in the small reservoir that was placed near each of her precious rose
bushes. She had done this before and knew it would not harm her, especially not
in the cool morning hours. After she had retrieved her slippers and robe from
the adjoining bathroom, she made her way down the stairs and approached the
heavy transparent door that led into the garden.
Relishing the crisp morning air, she strode
to one of her finest rose bushes and bent down to check the amount of water
when a bad cramp seized her abdomen forcing a moan of pain from her. Clutching
one hand to her belly she tried to stand again but the pain was too much. She
staggered to a nearby stone bench and sat down heavily. Breathing quickly from
fear and pain, she waited for the cramp to ease. She had had these contractions
before during this pregnancy but never as strong as this one. Slowly the pain
vanished and she was able to sit up straight. She let out a shuddering breath.
The pain had eased but fear still held her in a strong grip. With shaking hands
she searched the pockets of her robe for the emergency device Sarek had given
to her in the event she needed immediate medical support[.] She could not find
it. Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized her helplessness. Her household
aide would arrive in an hour, but it may be too late.
‘Think, Amanda,
think!’ she silently ordered herself. ‘Where did I leave it? Yes! On the
kitchen counter.’ The pain had not come back but the intensity of it just a few
moments ago frightened her. Dr. Corrigan had said that there could be more
contractions and that she should inform him immediately if they grew stronger. ‘There
must be something wrong,' she thought. She had to get inside and retrieve it.
With shaking
legs she slowly stood up from the stone bench. Cautiously she entered the house
and went into the kitchen, all the way bracing herself on the thick stone
walls. She reached the counter and was just reaching for it when her abdomen
cramped up again with much more force than before. With a cry of pain, she
collapsed; the emergency device slipped from her hand and clattered to the
floor. When she hit the hard kitchen floor, she felt something tear inside her
and, moments later, warm liquid gushed from between her legs. Panic gripped her
at the sight of the large pool of blood that formed under her. Desperately
looking for the emergency device, she spotted it lying a few feet away from her
on the polished floor tiles.
Forcefully
straightening herself from the fetal position she had instinctively curled in,
she reached for the emergency beeper. Her fingertips brushed its side but she
still could not reach it. With a moan of pain she rose on her forearms and
dragged herself forward. She reached for the device again and was finally able
to grasp it.
With all the
strength she had left, she pushed the button that activated the emergency
signal. The red light indicated it was transmitting.
She felt cold as
physical shock set in. The blood loss was already affecting her; she felt numb
and her vision swam before her.
Suddenly she
felt Sarek’s presence in her mind. She must have been broadcasting her fears
through the bond alerting him. He sent her comforting thoughts and the promise
to send help. ‘Sarek,' she thought, ‘I’m so sorry.’ She rested one weary hand on her abdomen and tears flowed down
her cheeks. ‘I have lost it again,’ was her last coherent thought before her
mind slipped into darkness.
A cold fear gripped her when she remembered the incident. She felt
no pain or any discomfort. She desperately wanted to know what happened to her
child, wanted to touch her abdomen to see if her baby was still with her, but
she had no connection to the outer world and no control over her body.
She searched for Sarek’s presence in her mind but the place where
his soul was usually tied to her own seemed to be surrounded by a thick and
unyielding barrier which made it impossible for her to break through. Fear tore
through her as she realized she was trapped inside herself.
Frantically searching for a way out, she heard faint sounds. She
heard voices.
Familiar voices. With a flash of relief and joy she recognized the
voice of her beloved husband and called his name in her mind but it only echoed
back to her from the cold barrier that
separated them.
She heard her name being called and tried to move, to give them a
sign that she could hear them, but her muscles still refused to obey her. Suddenly, the voices became louder and she
let them guide her through the dark labyrinth of unconsciousness until a flash
of light hit her eyes. Like a blazing fire it seemed to burn her optic nerve
after the long darkness as she finally broke through to consciousness and
opened her eyes.
***
Sarek still sat in the chair near Amanda’s bed, engrossed in his
meditation, when he heard the sudden alarm coming from the one of the monitors.
Quickly, he brought himself back to reality. His eyes snapped open and
instantly fixed on his wife. Outwardly she showed no sign of movement, but as he
shifted his gaze to the monitor he detected an elevated heart rate and
increased brain wave activity.
He pushed the button near the headboard to call a healer.
A moment later, the door opened and Dr. Corrigan swept in. He approached the bed quickly, already
studying the values shown on the vital signs monitor. "She is
awakening," he muttered more to himself than to Sarek who had stepped to
the other side of the bed to give Corrigan better access.
"Is everything all right, Daniel?" he asked.
Corrigan answered, "Sometimes patients have difficulty
reaching consciousness after being in stasis. It’s more like a coma or a
healing trance. They can probably hear you but are unable to respond. The
altered brain waves show that she has left the state of unconsciousness but she
might not find the way to break through to full consciousness." He picked up one of Amanda’s hands. "Amanda," he said firmly,
"please try to squeeze my hand."
Silently, they waited for any reaction from her.
‘Please aduna,’ Sarek
silently begged her. 'Give us a sign.’ He longed to take her hand but remembered
Sorel’s admonition to wait until he had reopened the marriage bond.
Releasing her hand, Corrigan drew a small flashlight from his
pocket and lifted one of Amanda’s eyelids. When the light hit her eye he was
rewarded with the instant narrowing of her pupil. She gave a soft moan and
turned her head away from the light.
Intensely watching her, both men waited in anticipation for her
next reaction. Would she gain complete consciousness or would she slip away
again? The battle was hers alone; no one could help her.
"Sarek," she murmured softly.
He was instantly by her side. "I’m here, Amanda," he
answered while she blindly searched for his hand. He had been so occupied with
her that he had not heard Sorel enter and reacted with a start as he felt Sorel’s
hand brush his meldpoints. He looked up into Sorel’s face and saw the question
in his eyes, silently asking for permission to meld with him. He nodded
slightly and felt Sorel’s mind brush his own. After establishing a connection
to Sarek’s mind, Sorel reached out for Amanda’s temple and carefully eased into
her mind.
With great care he made his way through her still unordered and
questioning thoughts until he reached the concealed marital bond. Cautiously,
he removed the barrier. Doing the same in Sarek’s mind, he acted as a bridge
between the bonded couple. Slowly he reopened the bond and withdrew after
advising Sarek mentally to be careful at first and not to use the full
intensity of the link.
When the bond pulsed again with renewed life, Sorel
retreated. With a last check on Amanda’s
vital signs, both healers left the room to give the couple some privacy.
Finally they were alone while they joined mentally. Cautiously
Sarek made sure that the bond did not open to its full intensity but allowed
mental communication. He took her hand between both of his. Instantly a wave of
emotions swept over him.
Sarek, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want this to happen.
Shh, his mind soothed
her. He is alive.
A rush of relief swept through her and reached him over the bond.
Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment. Tears of joy leaked out from under her
lashes. Sarek raised a hand and brushed them away tenderly. He opened the bond
a little bit further, allowing warm waves of comfort to reach his wife.
Pressing his hand against her cheek, she relished the feel of him inside her
mind again and wrapped him in a cocoon of deep love. Both of them closed their
eyes, their attention focused completely on the reunion of their minds. He
showed her how much he had missed her and the amount of relief he felt when she
came back to him. She felt wrapped up in his feelings for her which he only
showed her in the privacy of their bond. Only their child was missing to
complete the reunion of the small family. He felt her motherly concern for her
young son battling with her need for rest. She desperately wished to see and
hold him but was too weak to keep her eyes open.
"Sleep, aduna. Do
not be concerned. Our son is being well
cared for," he soothed. "Besides, you are far too weak to get up
yet," he added softly.
"But I must see him. He needs his mother," she said and
started to rise in an attempt to sit up. But she was only able to lift her head
and upper body a few inches above the pillow. She was still weak from the long
period of stasis. Breathing heavily,
she let herself sink back down onto the soft surface of the bed.
Raising an eyebrow in the manner of ‘I told you so’, Sarek got up
and retrieved a wet cloth from the sink to wipe away tiny droplets of sweat
from her forehead, pleased that her physical condition spared him from
explaining her limitations.
"You are being illogical, Amanda. The healers have cared for
our son for more than two months now. He will not suffer any ill effects if you
don’t see him immediately. I will try to get a wheelchair for you after you
have gained enough strength. You may visit him then."
Angrily she turned her head away from him but she knew he was
right. She could not even sit up alone not to mention holding an infant in her
arms. As much as she wished to see her
baby, she had to yield to her husband's logic despite of all her motherly
instincts screaming to be near her child.
Sarek waited patiently for her to look at him again. He knew she
could be stubborn at times but she would realize that it was best for her to
wait until she felt stronger.
Sighing deeply, she finally gave in. "All right, Sarek, I will rest, but you have to tell me how
he's doing every day."
"Of course, my wife," he said softly and held up his
hand in the traditional way of bonded couples.
Smiling slightly she raised her own fingers and matched them to
his, allowing their minds to join again.
After several long minutes, he disengaged his fingers from the
traditional embrace and loosely clasped her hand in his own. Sitting down in
the chair beside her bed he promised to stay until she had fallen asleep.
Soon her breathing became deep and even, Sarek rose from his seat
and looked down at her. The tension of the last few hours finally left his body
and he felt rather fatigued himself. His wife was out of danger and his son’s
chances for survival were increasing with every passing day. He smoothed her
hair one last time and bent down to place a soft kiss on her forehead before he
left to find rest himself.
***
Four days later Sarek was on his way to see his wife. He had
gotten a wheelchair which would enable Amanda to visit her son. He wanted to
wait a few more days, as his son had taken a turn for the worse.
He recalled the events of the last days. Two days before, the
infant's breathing had become irregular and the monitors had set off an alarm
two times, reporting decreasing oxygen levels in the baby’s blood. The last
time Sarek saw him had been shortly after one of these alarms. Four healers,
who were busily examining him and adjusting the machines that regulated the
flow of oxygen to his son, had surrounded his little bed. He had only been able to catch a quick
glance of his child whose skin color was a dangerous blue, before Sorel had
ushered him out of the room. He
explained the situation to Sarek and promised to keep him updated on the child’s
condition.
After Sorel had gone back to his patient, Sarek sat numbly in one
of the chairs that lined the walls of the corridor. He felt like he did two
months ago; the chances of his son's survival were back to square one
again.
He didn’t know what to tell Amanda. He could not lie to her but he
did want to spare her the events of the day. After twenty tense minutes the
door to the intensive care room opened and the healers filed out still busily
discussing the setback. Sorel was the last one to come out motioning Sarek to
follow him to his office.
With relief, Sarek listened to Sorel report that the child’s
condition had been stabilized but neither Sorel nor any of the other healers
could find the cause for the sudden irregularity in the child’s breathing.
Until now, he had progressed very well and the healers had intended to take him
off life support in two weeks. This goal had been delayed indefinitely now.
Sarek sat back in his chair, his hands steepled before him in
concentration. He still did not know what to tell Amanda, shielding his
concerns carefully from their bond. She had no telepathic abilities but he knew
she was always able to perceive his feelings. If he was concerned or upset, she
would know without asking him. She would simply feel it if he didn’t conceal it
carefully. He decided to seek the healer’s advice.
“Sorel, should I tell my wife about today’s events or do you think
it would be better to spare her the emotional stress? After all, her condition is still quite…fragile," he said.
He remembered the healer's answer. “The news surely would result
in emotional stress for your wife. However, she is the child’s mother and as a
parent she has the same right to be informed about her son’s condition that you
have. To keep information from her, which she will discover sooner or later, is
illogical.”
So, Sarek told Amanda about the recent complications in their son’s
development. She had been very upset at first and wanted to see the child
immediately. Only after a long discussion, which had tested his diplomatic
abilities to their limit, he convinced her that their son would recover and
that he needed rest right now just as she did.
Amanda had given in only after his promise to again make sure that
the child was in no danger.
Two days later he had finally given in to her begging for a visit
although he thought it to be too early.
While he was deep in thought, he nearly ran into Daniel Corrigan
who was waiting in front of the turbolifts. He avoided a collision just at the
last second.
Daniel heard the sudden movement behind him and turned
around. His face lit up with a smile
when he recognized Sarek. “Good morning, Sarek,” he greeted him.
“Dr. Corrigan,” Sarek greeted him stiffly, still embarrassed about
the accident that nearly happened because of his inattention.
The doors of the turbolift opened and both men entered. After the
doors had closed, Daniel turned to Sarek with a knowing smile. “I take it
Amanda has left you no other choice than to take her for a visit today,"
he said with a wink.
Sarek raised an eyebrow. “It is not a matter of choice, Healer.
Amanda has sufficiently recovered. There is no logical reason to delay her
visit to our son," he answered. ‘No logical reason except the concern of a
husband for his wife,' he thought.
“Sure,” Daniel answered. “The boy’s condition has been stable for
the past thirty-six hours. Take her to
him. I’m sure she can’t wait anymore.”
“Indeed," Sarek answered as the lift door opened.
Daniel stepped outside but before the lift doors could close
again, he held a hand over the sensors and stuck his head back into the
lift. “Your wife is not as fragile as
you think, Sarek. She will cope with it very well. She is, after all, his
mother. It is about time you let her see him,” he murmured in a low voice. “But I can understand,” he added
softly. "We all tend to protect
those we love … too much.”
Before Sarek could answer, Daniel released the lift doors and
stepped away.
***
Daniel made his way down the corridor. He hoped that he had not
ventured too far into Sarek’s personal affairs with his last statement. He knew
how private Sarek could be. ‘On the other hand, it can not harm him to be
teased out of his shell once in a while,' he thought to himself. Besides, since
when did the truth do any harm? He knew Sarek and Amanda very well. Since
Amanda had arrived on Vulcan, he had been her personal physician. He knew she
was strong willed. In his attempt to shield her, Sarek would only make the
situation worse. It would be a shock for her to see her son in his present
condition, but Daniel was sure Sarek underestimated her and she would cope with
the situation without breaking down.
As he strode around a corner his beeper went off. Quickly
approaching a comm unit he tapped in his code and waited for the message.
Sorel’s calm voice came from the speaker. “There has been an
emergency in ICU Unit 6. You are needed
immediately.”
“Acknowledged,” Daniel answered curtly. “I’m on my way”.
‘Damn!' he thought. ICU Unit 6 held the son of the man he had just
spoken to.
***
Amanda tapped her fingers impatiently on the bedside table while
she sat on her bed waiting for Sarek to come with the wheelchair. She had spent
the last four days regaining her strength, eager to see her son.
Obviously, Sarek would have preferred she waited longer. He tried persuading her that it was too soon
for her to get up. And, as he promised, he brought her news about their son
everyday.
He had told her about the irregularities in their son’s breathing.
That was not uncommon for premature babies. She had been relieved to hear that
the healers had stabilized his condition but no-one knew why it happened, or if
it would happen again.
Finally the door opened to reveal Sarek with the promised
wheelchair. Expectantly, she leaned forward as he approached the bed. Just
before reaching it, he stopped. Amanda, who had been grasping for the armrest
of the wheelchair raised a questioning look at him, clearly seeing his concern
for her in his eyes.
She drew back her hand and sighed in mild exasperation. “It’s all
right, Sarek. I feel well rested and I’m more than ready to see my son
today."
He raised an eyebrow, obviously doubting her readiness but seeing
the determination in her eyes, he pushed the wheelchair all the way to the bed
and helped her into it.
After positioning herself comfortably, she looked up expectantly
at her husband.
“Let’s go,” she said, unable to suppress the excitement she felt
and they left the room.
***
When Daniel arrived at ICU Unit 6,
he quickly glanced at the monitors and saw that the life of his small patient
was in severe danger. Silas, one of the
other healers who had worked on the project of Human/Vulcan hybrids, was
holding a manual respirator, pumping oxygen into the infant’s lungs while Sorel
applied external cardiac massage.
With curt instructions Daniel
advised one of the nurses who came rushing in with an emergency kit to load a
dose of a stimulant into a hypo. The
hissing sound of the hypo injecting the stimulant into the child’s system was
heard over the alarms of the monitors.
All three of them stopped their
resuscitation attempts and watched the monitors tensely, waiting for the child
to respond to the drug. For ten seconds
nothing happened. Then the monitors
detected an unsteady heartbeat that was quickly stabilized with a heart
stimulant administered by Sorel.
With relief the healers noticed the
steady heartbeat and they re-intubated the baby. Sorel looked up from the boy to catch Daniel's 'that was very
close’ look. He nodded gravely. ‘What
could be causing this?' he asked himself.
Just as he was about to call Silas and Daniel for a meeting in his
office, the alarms started up again.
Quickly they started the
resuscitation process again, but this time the child did not respond to the
stimulant. Five minutes passed without
improvement. Each time they stopped
resuscitation, the baby arrested again.
Daniel’s gaze locked with Sorel’s
in silent understanding. If they didn’t
get a response soon, they would lose the battle.
Suddenly the door to the ICU opened
and revealed Sarek and Amanda who came to visit their child.
Corrigan saw Amanda’s excited smile
vanish from her face when she realized what was going on. The loudly beeping instruments and nervously
blinking lights left no doubt what was happening.
After making sure Silas had taken
his place in the resuscitation attempt, he hurried over to them.
***
Amanda felt both anxious and
excited on the way to the ICU. She had
seen pictures of premature babies before but had never actually seen one in
person.
She remembered the pictures of tiny
bodies that looked so helpless; arms and legs extremely thin; the veins clearly
recognizable under the almost translucent skin; intubation tubes or infusion
needles stuck into them. Her heart
contracted when she imagined her own child this way.
She felt Sarek’s hand touch her
reassuringly upon the shoulder when they reached the ICU. She smiled up at him as the doors opened…
and revealed a sight of utter horror to her.
Her smile vanished and her hand dropped numbly from Sarek’s as she took
in the scene before her.
Daniel, Sorel, and a healer whose
name she didn’t remember, were busily bent over the incubator, which held her
son. The flashing lights and fast
beeping sounds of the machines left no doubt that something was terribly wrong.
Daniel looked up and spotted
them. He addressed Sorel, who nodded
curtly, and hurried over. He caught
Sarek’s gaze and willed him to understand that it was necessary that they leave
the room and let the healers care for the child. Noticing Amanda’s face taking on an ashen colour, he ushered them
outside.
The doors closed behind him and he
took a deep breath to prepare them for the worst. He knelt down beside the wheelchair and took one of Amanda’s
hands between his own. Her eyes swam in
tears, which she was no longer able to suppress. Daniel made his own voice as soft as he could. “You already knew that your son had been
intubated, right?" He paused as
Amanda nodded. His face softened with
sympathy as he continued. “It seems his condition is worsening. We had to re-intubate him as he went into
respiratory arrest several times, and his heart has stopped a couple of times
as well. We had him resuscitated, but
he arrested again. I don’t know whether we can bring him back this time but we
will do all that is possible.”
Amanda’s gaze shifted away from him
with his last words. Tears streamed
down her cheeks as she gazed blankly at the doors of the ICU. Daniel looked up into Sarek’s eyes. His face, set into a perfect Vulcan mask, revealed nothing.
Inwardly Sarek did not dare to let
his control slip, even for an instant.
The news had been devastating for him as well. Over the last two months he had come to know his son; had seen
him improve every day. To live without
him now seemed impossible to him.
Daniel suggested they wait in his
office, but Amanda refused to leave.
Daniel nodded his understanding and rejoined the other healers in their
attempt to save their little patient, leaving Sarek and Amanda alone.
***
Sarek pushed the wheelchair along
the lines of chairs and sat down in one of them. As much as he was distressed himself, he perceived his wife’s
greater need for comfort.
He took her hands between his own
and sent her soothing impulses over the bond.
He felt her grief about not being able to see her son earlier. Suddenly, he felt a wave of guilt wash over
him as he thought that he might have prevented her from seeing their son alive
by keeping her away for so long. He lowered his gaze under the weight of this
realization.
He looked up again as he felt
Amanda’s hand softly stroking his cheek.
She sent her understanding to him across their link. She knew he had only wanted to protect
her. She told him also that he could
not have foreseen the difficulties with their son’s health.
He lifted a hand in the traditional
embrace and she matched her hand to his, in a gesture that had become second
nature to her. Silently they sat in the
corridor, sharing their grief and comforting each other.
Some nerve-racking minutes later, the door to the ICU opened and Daniel reappeared in
the corridor. Sarek gripped Amanda’s
hand in the human fashion and felt her fingers tightening around his own as
Daniel approached them slowly. “We were
able to resuscitate him again,” he started, but raised a hand as Amanda was
about to interrupt him. "His
condition, however, is constantly worsening.”
He took a deep breath before telling them the full truth. “We don’t
expect him to make it through the night.”
Amanda buried her face in her
hands. Tears flowed from her closed
eyes down her cheeks as she shuddered with silent sobs.
Sarek stood gazing blankly into
Daniels’s eyes as he felt the deep pain from his wife. He longed to comfort her but their public
surroundings and Daniel’s presence prevented him from taking her into his arms.
Instead he laid one hand on her shoulder in silent comfort. She held on to him tightly and transmitted
only one desperate wish.
Sarek swallowed several times to
wet his dry throat. “May we see him now
before,” he paused, “before it is too late?”
Daniel nodded in silent
understanding. “Sure,” he murmured as he turned and opened the doors to the ICU
again.
Amanda wiped the last tears from
her eyes as Sarek turned the wheelchair.
Are you prepared my wife? Sarek
asked through the bond.
One cannot be prepared enough to see one’s child die, Sarek, she replied.
Sarek closed his eyes briefly to
master the pain he felt at her answer.
He braced himself mentally and they entered the room.
***
The lights inside the chamber were
dimmed. The instruments were no longer
beeping furiously. Only their slight
humming filled the room. Sorel and
Silas finished the last adjustments to the machines.
After they were done Silas excused
himself, leaving them alone with Sorel and Corrigan. Sorel stepped back as Sarek approached with the wheelchair.
Amanda leaned forward and peaked
cautiously into the incubator. Her
heart constricted at the sight. Her son
lay on his back, surrounded by instruments, and other medical devices whose
function she didn’t know. He had been
extubated to let nature take its course.
Her gaze roamed over him. She noticed the soft dark hair on his head,
his little pointed ears, his face, and his thin body. His colour went visibly paler with each passing minute. His little chest heaved with laboured
breathing. She took a shuddering breath
as her eyes filled with tears again. “Please,”
she addressed no one in particular, “I wish to hold him. I want him to die in
my arms.” She did not know where she
found the strength to utter this wish but something inside her refused to let
her child die alone.
Daniel cast a questioning glance at
Sorel. As he nodded his approval Daniel
lifted the transparent cover of the incubator, picked up the small child and
placed him carefully in his mother’s arms.
She had never before held a baby this small but instinct took over
and her arms closed securely around the little body, hugging him tenderly to
her chest.
Sorel and Daniel retreated to the
anteroom to give the family some privacy.
They had done all that they could do for the child. Whether he would
survive or not would depend on his own will to live. The underdevelopment of his lungs was not uncommon with such
small children, but it seldom led to the death of the small patient in this
time of advanced medicine. There seemed
to be something else than was causing his systems to fail.
Sarek pulled up a chair beside his
wife and sat down silently, his arms going around her and the weak child she
was holding. She leaned her head
against his chest silently drawing strength and comfort from him for what was
to come.
Cuddling the boy still nearer to
her, she murmured softly, “He has not even been named yet.”
Determined, she pulled away from
Sarek to look into his eyes. She knew
it was Vulcan custom that the parents keep the name of their offspring to
themselves until the day of the naming ceremony. Until now their son was only known as the son of Sarek and
Amanda. She knew how tradition bound
her husband was but this situation was more than a sufficient reason to lay
aside tradition.
Please, Sarek. I know what tradition dictates, but we can’t let him die
without a name, she mentally pleaded, watching
his eyes for some sort of reaction.
Finally, he nodded his consent, and
stood up to ask Daniel and Sorel to act as the customary witnesses for the
naming ceremony.
Silently they gathered around
Amanda who was still holding the weak infant.
Daniel and Sorel took the ritual places on either side of the mother,
while Sarek stood before her. Carefully
he placed his hand on the baby’s head before he intoned the ritual words of his
forefathers. “Thy name will be Spock,
firstborn son of Sarek of Vulcan and Amanda of Earth, heir of the house of
Surak. Thee shall be guided and protected by thy family for now and all time.”
He felt a twinge of sadness as he spoke the words. It was very likely that his son would never know his family.
Normally the head of the House and
the witnesses would sign a document that sealed the child’s name and status
among the clan. In this case, however,
there had been no time for a proper ceremony and the required document. The two healers retreated again to give the
couple some privacy. Sarek sat down beside Amanda again and draped one arm
around her. When he touched her, he
felt a wave of gratefulness and love wash over him. Some of the feelings he felt transmitted themselves through his
hand that still rested on his son’s head.
For a long time they sat this way, listening to every breath their son
took with difficulty. Slowly, very
slowly, his breathing seemed to improve and become less laboured, and he gave a
faint squeak. Astonished his parents
looked down at him.
Sorel hurried into the room; his
fine hearing had also picked up the faint sound. As Sarek released his wife to give the healer better access,
Sorel took a med scanner and held it over the child. “Remarkable,” he murmured while he studied the readings.
“What’s wrong?” Amanda asked hoping
against all odds that her child would live despite his former condition.
Daniel, who had appeared beside Sorel to study the readings
as well, smiled at her
“Nothing is wrong, Amanda. His vital signs are stabilizing. His heartbeat is stronger and his breathing
is more regular. I don’t know why but
he is improving rapidly,” he said, astonished.
Sarek could only stand nearby and
listen. Moments before his son was weak
and dying and now there were stronger vital signs? He dared not to believe his son could live, for his hopes could
easily be crushed like they had been only half an hour before. The baby squeaked again and moved one of his
tiny arms. Unthinking, he laid a finger
on the baby's palm, and felt a rush of joy as the tiny fingers closed around
it. He caught Amanda’s gaze and saw the
joy he felt reflected in her eyes.
He still didn’t understand the
sudden change in his son’s condition and raised a questioning gaze at Sorel who
sat with his hands steepled before him.
When he became aware that Sarek was
intently watching him, he saw the question in his friend’s eyes. He folded his hands in his lap and offered
his explanation. “Do you remember what
I told you about the importance of physical contact between premature babies
and their parents, Sarek?” Noticing Sarek’s nod, he continued, “You have been
visiting him and touched his hands, but that might not have been enough. When I studied Earth medicine regarding
premature infants, I found out about a technique that has been very successful
with human children. They were laid
upon the bare chest of the mother or father.
In response to this, their breathing and heartbeat steadied while their
parents held them.”
“Yes,” Daniel said. "The physical contact obviously soothed
them.”
“It may be possible that your son
needs that physical contact as well," Sorel continued. “As a Vulcan I did not consider this before.”
“What will happen now?” Amanda
asked. “Will he live?”
Sorel regarded her while he
calculated the odds. “It is very likely that with this new 'treatment', your
son may improve. I would calculate his
survival rate to be over 70 percent if it is continued. However, we will have to wait and see what
happens when we place him back in the incubator to make sure his improvement is
not just temporary."
He took the child from his mother’s
arms and placed him back into the incubator, carefully watching his readings
while he did so. The vital signs
dropped a little but remained steady on an adequate level. They all breathed a sigh of relief. After making sure the vital signs of their
little patient didn’t drop anymore, Sorel and Corrigan left to attend their
other patients.
Sarek and Amanda remained with
their son, Amanda reaching inside the incubator to softly stroke his cheeks and
fine hair.
After some time a nurse entered the
room and sat down in front of a console in the anteroom. Obviously she had been assigned to watch the
monitors of the newly recovered patient.
Although it was difficult to leave
their son after he had been this close to death, Sarek insisted that his wife
get some rest. He could see the fatigue
plainly written on her face. The dark
circles under her eyes spoke volumes of the emotional stress she had gone
through.
He brought her back to her room and
settled her in. After she had fallen
into a deep, exhausted sleep, he contacted his secretary and asked her to delay
the start of his evening class for half an hour. He needed to meditate after the events of the day in order to
clear his mind before he faced his students again.
***
The healers were reluctant at first
to take the child out of the incubator every day but it seemed to be the best
medicine for him, his condition improving every time he was in close contact
with his mother.
Amanda felt overjoyed at the good
news. Just a few days before, she was
about to lose her child and now she could see him progressing every day.
Each day she was brought to him and
was allowed to hold him for ten minutes, watching in amazement as he moved his
tiny arms and legs, instinctively turning his head to the warmth of her
body. He was still very small and his
weight had just climbed over two pounds.
He still had to stay in the incubator for two months of further
development.
Every time his schedule permitted
it, Sarek joined his wife while she held their son. Normally Vulcan fathers did not hold their offspring and it took
Amanda two weeks of constant persuasion to convince him otherwise.
Stiffly, he sat in the rocking
chair that had been brought into the ICU.
Amanda sat nearby in her wheelchair
and smiled fondly as she watched her normally self-conscious husband waiting
nervously for Dr. Corrigan to place the child in his arms. He tried to mirror Amanda's position when
the child was given to her.
Daniel approached and laid the warm bundle into his waiting
arms. After he had made sure that the
young father had a secure grip on the child, Daniel adjusted Sarek’s arms in
the way they would best support the child’s head and body.
Smiling at Amanda, who had watched
the scene in amusement, he left after advising the nurse on duty to take back
the child to the incubator in ten minutes.
***
Sarek sat perfectly still while he
held his son. He felt the movements of
the child through the blankets that were warmly wrapped around him. Only his
head peaked out of the soft material.
Suddenly, he heard Amanda’s amused
laughter. “You can breathe, Sarek. It won’t hurt him,” she said, her eyes
sparkling with amusement.
He let out a deep breath. He was not even aware that he was holding it. Raising an eyebrow at his wife the corners
of his mouth raised slightly. He willed
himself to relax and leaned back in the rocking chair. Turning his attention back to his son, he
kept watching him intently as he began almost unconsciously to rock back and
forth until the child’s breathing had reached a relaxed rhythm.
Sarek was so preoccupied with his
son that he didn’t notice the ten minutes had already passed, until the nurse
appeared in front of him reaching for the child. Reluctantly he let her take him and got up from the chair to
watch her put his son back in the incubator.
He crossed fingers with his wife,
transmitting the feeling of gratefulness that she had been able to persuade him
to hold his son. It had been a most remarkable experience. He had been fascinated to feel the new life
move in his arms and to know that this child was of his own flesh and
blood. Even now, just moments after he
had given the child back to the nurse, he was eagerly anticipating the next
session.
***
Four weeks later Amanda had her
final examination before leaving the hospital.
Sitting in the anteroom to Dr. Corrigan’s office she waited patiently
for her final check-up. After some
minutes the door to the office opened and Daniel escorted one of his other
patients outside. Turning finally to
her he smiled broadly and approached her.
“Amanda,” he greeted her.
"Time for your final check-up, isn’t it? You must be tired of all
the healers around you.” The gleam in his eyes showed his playful manner.
Her facial expression was one of
pure innocence when she answered him with an equally mischievous twinkle in her
eyes. “Tired of you, Daniel? Never!” and smiled radiantly at him.
“Yeah, sure,” he laughed and
ushered her into his office.
“Truth be told I’m really tired of
being an experiment for the healers although I’m immensely grateful for what
they have accomplished," she continued after taking a seat.
Daniel retrieved a med scanner from
his desk and held it over her. “I
understand," he said while studying the readings, “but you surely realize
that the ‘experiment’ as you call it is not over yet. Your son will always be
special. He is the first Vulcan-Human hybrid that has survived this long and
his further development will be monitored very closely by all of us.”
She sighed. “I know and I don’t
want to think of all the complications that could occur. I only hope the media
circus will die down soon.”
Daniel nodded in
understanding. They had been very
careful to keep information about their ‘project’ from the media until they
could be sure of its success, but somehow information about Spock's recent
complications leaked out and the scientists where constantly pressured for more
information by the press. He had been
asked several times to give interviews but had refused. He knew that some of
the off-world journalists were constantly gathered in front of the Academy
hospital and the Interplanetary Affairs offices, waiting for a chance to catch
Sarek or anyone else who would provide them with more information. The security at the hospital had their hands
full preventing these gatherings and shielding the involved personnel from the
mass of reporters. Even Vulcan
journalists were eager to get more information although their interest focused
solely on the scientific aspects of the project. Respecting an individual's privacy was one of the most important
aspects of Vulcan society. They would
not corner people and force them to provide information nor would they dare ask
personal questions.
Daniel sighed, his mind already
working on the best way to circumvent the journalists after his shift. Focussing his attention back to the task at
hand, he studied Amanda’s readings. She
had recovered remarkably well after the physical stress caused by the pregnancy
and her time in stasis. “Well, Amanda,”
he said, “it seems you are completely healed.
The scars from the c-section as well as the after effects of the time in
stasis are completely gone. I would advise you, however, to take it easy for
the next few days. You might feel strong now, but remember, apart from the
physiotherapy you received, you were not terribly active while you were
here. I know how desperately you want
to go home. As pleasing as hospitals are these days it’s not pleasant to be a
patient.“
“How right you are,” she
answered. “I really have seen enough of
hospitals for a while.”
“I know,” he continued. "It would be better to wait a few more
days until your physiotherapy is completed but if you promise me you won’t
overexert yourself and only work for no more than one hour at a time, I will
release you today. Deal?”
“Deal." She smiled back at him. “I promise to be
careful although I really feel good. What about Spock? Do you think he can come
out of the incubator soon?”
Daniel smiled. “That was the next
point I wanted to talk to you about.
Sorel and I were planning to remove him from the incubator soon. As you know, the time of development inside
the womb is normally longer for Vulcan infants than for Human ones. Therefore, we expected he would have to
remain inside the incubator until the eleventh month of a Vulcan pregnancy. He
is stronger than we anticipated and we see no danger in removing him from the
ICU soon.”
“Really?” she exclaimed. “I’m so
relieved. I hoped it would be soon but I didn’t dream it could be done this
early. But…” She hesitated and bit her lip.
"How will I be able to nurse him?
I have no milk.”
“You know, it’s not necessary you
nurse him. He will be given all the nutrients he needs,” Daniel said. “But that’s
not the point, is it?”
“No,” she said. “I know he will be
well cared for but I wish to nurse him. I’m his mother.”
“Well, in that case we have to
start hormone treatment so that your body will produce milk. I suggest we start
today with the first injection,” he said to her as he turned to his terminal
and typed in some orders.
While waiting for the assistant to
bring the hypo, he informed her about the symptoms caused by the hormone
therapy. A few minutes later the hypo was brought to him. While he injected Amanda with the hormones
that would cause her body to produce milk, the intercom chimed. Daniel hit the
button to open the connection to his secretary.
“Ambassador Sarek has arrived, Dr.
Corrigan,” came her voice from the intercom.
“Ah, very good,” Daniel said. "Please send him in, T’Sel.”
Moments later the door opened and
Sarek stepped in.
“Sarek, please come in,” Daniel
greeted him. "We are nearly done
here.”
“Dr. Corrigan,” Sarek nodded to him
while he approached Amanda who was still rubbing her arm from the injection. He crossed fingers with her. You
need further treatment, my wife? he
asked across the link. Are you unwell?
No beloved, she replied. I
started a hormone therapy to be ready to nurse our son when he comes out of the
incubator.
I see, he responded. He didn’t need to ask why she would want to
nurse her son even when he would be given all the necessary nutrients without
being nursed. He could feel her
motherly instinct to care for her child on her own. Of course, some important nutrients, which Amanda’s milk could
not provide, would have to be added to the child’s food.
“May I ask when you intend to
remove my son from the ICU?” he asked Daniel.
Daniel was surprised at the
question. He knew Vulcan couples communicated over their marital bond and
assumed Amanda had given the information to her husband. “Well,” Daniel answered, “that will depend
mainly on him. If he continues to progress at his current rate, we will be able
to transfer him to the Neonatal Care Unit in four days. Amanda should be ready
by then to provide milk for him. Until
then she is officially released from the hospital. She promised me that she would take it easy for the next few
days. Although she is fully healed, her
body is not accustomed to extensive activity.
It is important she does not overexert herself." He paused slightly, then added, "This
includes physical intimacies as well.”
He looked at both of them intently for some seconds to emphasize this
point.
He could see no reaction in Sarek’s
impassive face. Only the slight straightening of his posture hinted at his
discomfort about discussing such topics.
Daniel knew how closed up Vulcans were regarding their intimate lives
but this had to be said in order to prevent a setback in Amanda’s healing
process . He looked at her and waited
until she finally nodded. “Very well.
If you have no further questions I will take my leave of you now,” Daniel said
finally. All three of them got up and
left the office, Daniel heading off for a meeting, while Sarek and Amanda left
to take their leave of their son.
***
First they returned to Amanda’s
room to collect her personal belongings.
When they were done they separated, Sarek heading for the administration
office to get the discharge papers, while Amanda made her way slowly to the
ICU. She went with mixed feelings. On
the one hand she didn’t want to leave her child, but on the other hand she was
more than relieved to leave the hospital and return home.
She took more time than usual to
say goodbye to her son. She remembered Sarek’s words when they had talked about
her feelings shortly before coming here.
He had stated calmly and logically that she had only been able to visit
the boy once a day while she stayed at the hospital and she would continue to
do so while she was at home. The fact
that there would be a greater distance between her and the child didn’t make a
difference to him. She knew he was
basically right. There was no logical reason to be concerned. Their son was well cared for and had gained
even more weight and strength during the last weeks. Nevertheless she felt the pain of parting heavy on her while she
took her leave from her son. She would
see him again in less than a full day but even this short time stretched like
an eternity before her.
She smiled fondly when she saw he
had awakened. He didn’t need a
respirator anymore and yawned deeply while flexing his little hands. Her smile deepened while she watched him.
“Good morning, my precious,” she
murmured softly. It was the same
greeting she had given him the day she had nearly lost him. Her heart constricted when she thought about
how easily he could have died that morning.
Her sorrow was replaced quickly by delight when she saw him turning his
head in her direction. He had recently
started to react to her voice. Each
time she had held him she had talked softly to him. She knew he could not understand her words but the soft
vibrations emanating through her chest when she spoke visibly soothed him.
She heard the doors to the ICU
slide open and soon felt the familiar presence of her husband beside her. She took his hand and they stood together
looking down at their child. Sarek felt
her anxiety about leaving her son and projected comfort and assurance that he
would be fine. He promised her that he
would visit Spock the next day as soon as he could. He stroked the baby’s cheek softly with one finger watching the
little face turn to the warmth of his hand.
He withdrew his hand and waited until his wife was ready to leave. She laid a kiss on one of her fingertips and
placed her hand on the child’s forehead.
“Bye, little one,” she said
softly. She drew a deep breath and
finally turned away to leave.
***
According to Daniel’s advice Sarek
had parked their groundcar in the underground car park to avoid being accosted
by the journalists who still waited in front of the hospital.
They took the turbolift to Sublevel
Three and exited. Realizing they were alone they held hands like human lovers
while they went to their groundcar.
Opening the co-driver's door, Sarek helped his wife into her seat. Amanda endured the procedure although she
thought he was being overly cautious with her.
After he had made sure she was comfortable he placed her luggage on the
back seat of the car and took his place in the driver's seat.
It was already getting dark outside
when they left the underground car park. As soon as they passed the gate of the
hospital compound, the flashlights of at least a dozen holocams lit the inside
of their car.
Sarek saw Amanda flinch
instinctively as the journalists, who were all around the car, positioned their
holocams as near as they could to the windows to get the best picture. Quickly he flipped the button for the doorlocks
and the window control. With reassuring
clicks each door was locked in less than a second while the window control
darkened the windows until they could not be seen from the outside. Normally both of them were used to holocams
and flashes from the many embassy receptions, but these had been official
events and neither of them wanted to see their private matters discussed in the
media.
Suddenly Vulcan security guards
appeared and ended the siege quickly and efficiently. Losing no time Sarek manoeuvred quickly through the passage that
had been cleared for them and pulled out into the evening traffic.
He cast a quick glance at his wife
and saw her clutching the armrest of her seat while she gazed nervously behind
her.
“They won’t follow us, Amanda,” he
said to her softly. “They will have enough to do with explaining their
unauthorized gathering in front of the hospital.”
She relaxed visibly and smiled at
him. “I guess you are right. I have been off this media circus too long. They
really startled me. Besides, I don’t
want them to pry into our private lives and speculate about Spock’s or my
condition.”
“Neither do I, Amanda,” he answered
and returned his attention to the road.
The small townhouse lay on the
outskirts of Shi'kahr and was surrounded by thick stone walls. Normally the street
was quiet with only a few groundcars parked along the garden walls of each
house. This evening, however, the
street was buzzing with activity. Vans
from the different media services filled the street. People were busily working on setting up and adjusting media
equipment. As soon as they realized the
Ambassador’s car was approaching, they took their position in front of the gate
to Sarek’s and Amanda’s house. Others approached the car, the flashes of the
holocams bright in the darkness.
“Oh no,” Amanda moaned. “How could they have known I left the hospital today?”
“I saw these same media vans in
front of the hospital earlier. They probably contacted their colleagues to wait
here for us,” he answered.
During the past weeks there had
always been journalists around the house but never this many. He had always refused to give them
information when he had come in direct contact with them, but they never
stopped trying. Today there were too
many to risk opening the huge garden gate to drive in. They could easily follow them in. They would
have to leave the car outside and get in through the smaller gate. Cautiously, he drove as near to the smaller
gate as he could, positioning the car in such a way that his wife could easily
reach the gate in a couple of steps.
The view inside their car was still
blocked by the darkened windows and he reached for his wife. Feeling her anxiety through the bond, he
squeezed her hand reassuringly. She tore
her gaze away from the people that gathered around the car and looked into his
calm brown eyes.
Do not answer any of their
questions, aduna, regardless of how
personal they are. They will get all they need to know at the official news
conference. Any information they get
now will only lead to further speculation, he transmitted through the bond.
It won’t be
easy, but I'll try, she answered.
He reached for her luggage on the
back seat and cast a last look at his wife. “Are you ready, Amanda?” he asked.
Perceiving her nervousness, he added silently, Do not be afraid. I will be right beside you.
She smiled weakly at him and
nodded.
He unlocked the doors. As soon as
he opened his door, the flashes intensified and questions started immediately;
the crowd of reporters closing around him like a swarm of Terran insects.
“Mr. Ambassador, is it true the
child was born disabled?” - “Is it even alive?” - “Is it correct your wife
suffered a nervous breakdown?” - “Mr. Ambassador…”
Sarek ignored the cascade of
questions, his face as controlled as ever as he rounded the car to get to
Amanda’s side. Stopping just inches
from the door he looked at the black window, knowing without seeing that his
wife was nervously watching him. He
nodded almost imperceptibly and the door opened, allowing his wife to exit the
car. As soon as she appeared, the
reporters gathered even closer around them, holding their holocams and vid
units above the heads of their colleagues to get a picture of her. Sarek was glad he had parked the car in such
a way that the front of it was blocking access to his wife from one side, while
he acted as a living shield on the other.
Numerous questions arose again as
the couple wove their way to the garden gate.
“Lady Amanda, please, a short statement…” - “Is the child alive?” - “Why
didn’t you bring it home with you?”
Although it was difficult to ignore
the questions they somehow managed to reach the garden gate, Sarek pushing
aside people gently but insistently all the way. He reached out for the control panel of the gate and pressed his
hand to the sensor. The sensor opened
the gate, recognizing Sarek’s fingerprints.
Sarek still shielded his wife from direct contact with the reporters but
their questions reached and hurt her nevertheless. She gritted her teeth to prevent herself from answering
heatedly. She was nearly past Sarek and
into the confines of the garden when one question undid her.
“Lady Amanda, is it true your daughter was born with multiple
disfigurements? Is she a freak?”
Enough! she thought angrily and whirled to
face the person that dared to ask such a question. Before Sarek could react, she spat, “My SON is far from being
disfigured! He may be weak and born
premature but he is no freak! How dare you speak such nonsense!”
She cursed herself silently when
she saw the reporter smile victoriously.
All the others were busily taking notes. Damn! she thought as it
dawned on her that the reporter hadn’t even known the gender of the child. Nobody had so far. He had provoked her with a question he had made up
completely. Now she had involuntarily
given them information. She stared at
him with burning eyes until she felt Sarek tug on her arm. She let him guide
her in and close the gate behind them.
***
They heard the other reporters
congratulate their colleague who had been able to draw the first bit of
information. The voices subsided only
when the heavy doors of their townhouse closed behind them. It was pitch dark inside.
“Computer, lights on full,"
Sarek addressed the computer system.
Immediately the lights flashed on. Without looking back at him Amanda crossed
the hall and disappeared into the dark living room. Sarek sighed quietly. He
placed her luggage on the counter in the hallway and followed his wife. He
found her in front of the huge window that presented a full view of the garden
behind the house. Her posture was
rigid, her arms crossed before her chest, and her head tilted slightly upwards
in a defiant position. He knew she was
upset about her outburst but he didn’t blame her. The reporter had used unfair psychological methods, pulling the
right strings to activate the protective instincts of a mother. Unfair maybe, but efficient, he had to
admit. Sensing his wife’s need for
comfort, he slid his arms around her from behind and loosened the stiff posture
of her arms to take her hands in his.
She relaxed and turned to face him.
Gripping the fabric of his outer robe tightly she leaned her head on his
chest.
He closed his arms around her and
hugged her while he rested his chin on the top of her head.
“I’m sorry, Sarek. You warned me about them and now I gave them
more fuel for their fire of rumors," she murmured against his chest.
“Shh,” he soothed. “They provoked
you. You are still not completely
recovered and your emotional state is not yet as well balanced as it usually
is. This person took advantage of that
fact and attacked you where you are most vulnerable. He is the one to blame.”
He emphasized his statement by sending her warm impulses over their
link. She relaxed even more against him
and they stood for some minutes more until the chimes of the comm unit forced
them apart. Placing a soft kiss on her head he released her and walked to his
study to answer the call.
Slowly she walked into the hallway
and picked up her luggage from the counter. She was still angry with herself
about what she had done but it was done and couldn’t be changed. With a sigh she climbed the steps to the
second floor where the master bedroom was located. She passed Sarek’s study and saw him sitting in front of the comm
unit, discussing his upcoming computer science class with one of his
colleagues. She smiled fondly and
continued further down the hall. She
passed the antique pendulum clock from her grandmother, stopping to listen to
the soothing familiar sound of its ticking which she had heard since her
birth.
Collecting her thoughts she moved
on until she passed the chamber that would become their son’s room. She opened the door and activated the
lights. She smiled when she saw that
Sarek had finished the room. The walls
were painted in a light ochre tone, giving the room a warm and friendly
atmosphere. The large windows were covered with filigree curtains that had the
same color as the walls and which were flowing in the light evening breeze.
Heavier curtains of a more reddish tone lined each side of the window. They
could be drawn shut to cover the window and block most of the burning rays of
the Vulcan sun. She imagined the soft
red glow that would penetrate the curtains when the sun hit them. Her gaze roamed further and she gasped in
surprised when she spotted the old rocking chair and the family cradle that had
always been in the nurseries of her family.
She went to the chair. Numerous
generations of Graysons had been nursed in this chair. She touched the dark wood softly and ran her
fingers over the curved armrest, feeling all the notches that had appeared over
time. Smiling softly she pushed against
the back of the chair until it moved.
She removed her hand and watched as the chair rocked back and forth all
the while gently creaking. She turned
to the cradle that stood a few feet away.
Its dark polished surface shining in the light of the ceiling lamp, it
rocked gently from side to side when she touched it. Between the rocking chair and the cradle stood a floor lamp whose
lampshade was tilted toward the ceiling.
She switched it on and ordered the computer to turn off the ceiling
lamp. The soft glow of the floor lamp filled the room and created a pleasant
atmosphere.
There was a closet in the Vulcan
style on the left wall. On its right side was a changing area for the child.
She approached the closet and
opened one door. The shelves were
filled with neatly folded infant clothing.
She picked one up and inspected it.
It was cut in a Vulcan style, too.
She frowned. They hadn’t been able to buy any clothing for their son yet
and these clothes, although in very good condition, were not new.
“My mother provided them,” Sarek
answered her silent question.
Starting at the sound of his voice
she turned around and saw him standing in the doorway. “Your mother?” she
repeated incredulously.
“Yes,” he answered and closed the
distance between them. “I wore them when I was an infant.”
She looked at him. She couldn’t
believe Sarek’s mother had actually done this. She had been one of Sarek’s
family members that had opposed their marriage.
“Well, I’m honestly surprised,” she
said. "Did she change her opinion
about our marriage?”
“I do not know,” he confessed. "She came by while you were in stasis
and brought the clothes, stating it would be only logical to provide them since
none of us had the time to purchase some of our own. The furnishings of this room are also her work, under my
direction, of course," he added.
“Really,” she answered. "Well, in that case I will contact her
tomorrow and congratulate her on her work. It's beautiful.” She really liked
it. It had nothing of the overstuffed type of rooms human parents created for
their children. It created a pleasant and calming atmosphere for the child. ‘Hm,
maybe some plants and pictures are missing,' she thought to herself and made a
mental note to get them along with a mobile which she wanted to place above the
cradle.
“When did you get the chair and the
cradle?” she asked him.
“Your parents sent them before… the
accident,” he said. "It was to
have been a surprise for you when you returned home with our child.”
She smiled fondly at him. “Thank
you Sarek. It still is a lovely surprise and I will return from the hospital
with our son someday. Therefore, the gesture is not lost.”
She closed the distance between
them and tilted her face upward. He did
not disappoint her and their lips met in a loving kiss.
When they separated she held up the
item she had picked up from the closet and placed it on his chest. It was an unbelievably small jumpsuit.
“You once fit into that?” she asked
with a disbelieving grin.
He only raised an eyebrow. He was
just about to answer when the comm unit chimed again.
“Home, sweet home.” She rolled her
eyes and dropped her hands to her sides. He brushed his fingers softly along
her cheek and left the room to answer the call.
Taking a last look around she
switched off the light and left to unpack her bag.
***
She continued down the hallway and
opened the door to the master bedroom.
Commanding the computer to activate the lights she took a look around
the room. Nothing had changed since she
left. Well, it had only been a couple
of weeks but she felt like she had been away much longer. She approached the
large wooden bed that stood against the left wall of the room and flopped down
on it, her travelling bag still in her hand.
She saw the sculptured vase on her nightstand and smiled when she
noticed that Sarek had continued her habit of keeping one fresh cut rose from
her own garden in it.
‘It’s hot in here,’ she
thought. Someone must have forgotten to
draw the outer curtains that normally blocked the heat of the sun. She approached the large window and opened
it to let in the crisp night air. The
lighter inner curtains waved softly in the breeze and she drew them back to
enjoy the coolness of the night. Only
the sounds of the desert were audible.
Obviously the gathering in front of their house had dispersed. A flash of anger shot through her when she
remembered the incident of a few minutes before. She took a deep, calming breath of the cold air and tried to
dismiss the thought as something that was not worth thinking about. It could not be undone, therefore, agitating
herself with thinking about it was a waste of time.
Dropping her gaze to the garden she tried to make out the
condition of her roses and was suddenly reminded of another incident that had
taken place there weeks ago. Without
thinking she laid a hand on her now-flat abdomen and thought about the child
she had nearly lost. Tears welled up in
her eyes and she turned abruptly from the window refusing to think about how
closely they had come to losing another child.
Determined, she made her way to the closet and started to put the unworn
clothes back onto the shelves or back on hangers. Dropping the soiled clothes into the recycler, she went into the
bathroom to freshen up.
Splashing water onto her face, she
tried to erase the last fragments of the fear she had felt moments
earlier. She reached for a nearby pile
of clean towels and dried her face.
When she met her own gaze in the huge mirror she was shocked to see how
worn she still looked. Corrigan had
released her fully recovered from the hospital but her face looked ashen and
the dark circles under her eyes emphasized the pale color. The psychological scars that were reflected
in her face would need more time to heal.
She caught sight of the huge oval
bathtub that was in one corner of the large room and decided a hot bath would
be the perfect medicine to calm her strained nerves. Turning the water on, she poured some of the herbal bath essence
under the stream and shed her clothes.
She eased herself carefully into the hot water and leaned back with a
moan as the tension began to leave her body.
She silently thanked her husband again for installing the bathtub for
her. Under normal circumstances, no
Vulcan household would allow such a waste of water but the water was cleaned
after use in the recycle system and could be used again.
When the water rose to her chin,
she shut off the faucet and closed her eyes to relish the soothing warmth. Breathing in the fumes of the herbal bath
essence, she felt herself relax. She smiled when she recalled the day Sarek and
she had ‘christened’ the tub after it was installed. It had been the first time she had been able to persuade him to
take a bath in a bathtub with real water rather than use the sonic shower. Her smile grew even broader when she
recalled what they did in the tub that day.
It had been too long since the two of them had been together that way
and she felt her desire for him getting stronger every minute.
Teasingly she let her feelings flow
through the bond and smiled when she could hear Sarek clearing his throat as he
was still talking on the comm unit.
***
After finishing the call, Sarek
went to see his wife. He had felt the
wave of desire from her, distracting him from his conversation with
Sendet. His wife's...feelings caused
him some discomfort, but he managed to control his features so Sendet was none
the wiser...at least he hoped he did.
Curious as to what changed Amanda's
mood so quickly, he entered their bedroom but found it empty. Only the curtains were still waving in the
chilly air. He closed the windows and
drew the heavy curtains when he heard a splashing sound from the bathroom.
Opening the door to the bathroom he
found his wife in the huge bathtub. A
slight smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he approached the tub and
knelt down at its side.
Amanda opened her eyes and gave him
a seductive smile. “Want to join me?”
she asked in a low voice.
“That would be unwise,” he answered
in an equally low tone.
“Oh, come on, Sarek. You know this
tub is big enough for both of us," she begged, “Besides, you look like you could use some relaxation too.” She lifted one hand to his face and drew a
wet line from his cheek to his lips.
He caught her hand in his and
kissed it. The corners of his mouth
twitched slightly when he answered, “Indeed. We have sufficient proof that it
is.” She giggled and closed her hand
tightly around his. “But,” he
continued, “I also know how you define relaxation and the doctor’s orders were
very specific. No physical strain until
you are fully healed.”
She sighed and gave up her attempt to
seduce him. There was no way once he
had made up his mind.
Squeezing her hand slightly he send
her a warm affectionate impulse over the bond.
“Would you like something to eat?” he asked.
“I think I will soak for another twenty minutes but how about a
light salad before retiring?” she answered.
“Very well. I shall be in
the study until then,” he said, and got up.
She followed his graceful movements with her eyes until he left
the room. Sighing and a bit
disappointed, she leaned back again and closed her eyes.
***
After she had finished her bath she went down to the kitchen. She found Sarek just setting their food on
the kitchen counter. They took their
usual places and ate their supper in silence as was Vulcan custom. After cleaning up the dishes they went
upstairs and prepared for bed. Normally
they would have shared a cup of tea in the living room and talked about the day’s
events but they both felt fatigued and thought it best to renew their strength
with a long period of sleep.
Amanda enjoyed lying in her own bed finally. The warmth of her husband, who lay spooned
against her back, felt delicious. His
one arm draped over her waist as he held her in a possessive embrace. She took his large hand between her own and
hugged it to her chest.
He squeezed her hand in return.
Sleep well, aduna, he sent over the bond and placed a tender kiss on the back of her
neck. Soon the familiar sound of her
deep, even breathing indicated she had drifted into slumber.
***
Amanda tried to contact Sarek’s mother the next morning to thank
her for her work with the nursery but the comm unit informed her that Skon had
been called to a conference in K’Lan-Ne and T’Lara had accompanied him.
She sighed and closed the connection. She didn’t know what to expect from T’Lara. Their previous meetings had not gone very
well. Amanda had always felt like T’Lara
would have preferred that Sarek chose a Vulcan woman instead of her, but she
had never openly voiced her displeasure.
Only the hidden aura of disapproval surrounded her.
Amanda wondered what could have caused her to change her mind and
help them with setting up the nursery.
Maybe Skon was the cause. He had
welcomed Amanda into the family with nearly un-Vulcan warmth. The two of them had liked each other
instantly.
She dismissed the thought and decided to wait until she could
speak to T’Lara personally.
Scrolling through the menu in Sarek’s address book, she searched
for the comm code that would connect her to her parents on Earth. She found it but hesitated to activate it.
‘What time is it in Minnesota now?’ she wondered. Biting her bottom lip she tried to remember
the exact formula to calculate the time difference between Vulcan and
Earth. Her brows knit together in
concentration, but she couldn’t remember all the factors. There was not only a
time difference between the two planets, the actual time was also dependent on
the location on the planet.
She tried another approach. “Computer,” she addressed the unit.
“Working,” replied a flat electronic voice. “State your request.”
“Calculate the time difference between Vulcan and Earth,” she
said.
“Acknowledged,” the unit replied. “Please state the calculation
factors.”
'Which calculation factors?' she wondered. ‘If I knew them I could
calculate it myself. Damn machine! That’s why I prefer not to use them,’ she
thought.
“Please state the calculation factors,” the annoying computer
demanded again.
“Specify calculation factors,” she said instead and wondered with
raised eyebrows whether the machine would accept that.
“Working,” replied the unit. Amanda rolled her eyes silently.
“Calculation factors: current location of source, current time of
source, location on target planet.”
“Okay,” she sighed, “Current location: Shi’Kahr, Vulcan; current
time: 10:54 am Vulcan time; location on target: Maplewood, Minnesota.”
“Improper input. Please repeat.”
Taking a deep calming breath Amanda repeated the calculation
factors.
“Working,” the unit replied finally.
“Local time is 07:43 am, Maplewood, Minnesota, Earth.”
‘Why didn’t you say so the first time,’ Amanda thought. “Good,
they won’t be sleeping anymore,” she murmured to herself. She knew her parents never slept long and
probably had to clear the snow off the walks at this time of the year.
She made the call and waited while the comm unit showed a blinking
‘please wait’ while it established the call.
She leaned back in the comfortable chair and thought about how
long it had been since she talked to her parents. The hospital allowed no subspace communications. Those types of comm units were only
available in certain areas of the VSA and she had not been allowed access to
them.
Sarek, however, had spoken to her parents several times while she
was hospitalized. He also told them of
his son's recent brush with death. They
had been very concerned for her health and the baby's, and had offered to come
directly to Vulcan. Sarek had been able
to persuade them to stay on Earth. Her
father had been suffering from a difficult bout of pneumonia and was still not
fully recovered. The trip and change of
climate would be too much for him. She
had sent them a letter to let them know she and the baby were recovering but
she knew they were as eager to speak with her as she was to contact them.
Finally the screen lit up with ‘Connection successful’ and a
beeping sound indicating the comm unit in her parent’s house was chiming.
Amanda leaned forward expectantly.
After the third chime the screen lit up and showed the face of her
mother. “Amanda!” she exclaimed, “My
baby, how are you? Are you completely
healed, my poor dear?”
“Hi, Mom,” Amanda answered.
Tears of joy shone in her eyes upon seeing her mother after nearly three
months. “Yes, I’m fine and getting
stronger every day.”
“Are you sure? You look so tired," her mother said, still
concerned.
“Yes, Mom, don’t worry. I’m fine.”
“How is the little one? It’s a boy, isn’t it?”
Amanda frowned. “Yes. How
do you know that?”
“It was in the news today,” Nell answered.
‘Boy, they are really quick with spreading the news,’ Amanda
thought.
“Ah, really,” she said to her mother, “Well, he…”
“Oh, wait, I'll get your father. He's outside shoveling snow. Y'know, we got five inches added to the ten
we already had.”
"He's outside?” Amanda asked incredulously. "Sarek said he had pneumonia.”
Nell sighed. “Yes, I told him to stay inside and rest, but you
know your father. You can't keep him
cooped up inside for long. He always
has to be doing something.”
Amanda smiled fondly. “I know.”
“Hold on, I'll get him,” Nell said and rushed from the room.
She heard the back door open and her mother's voice say, "Al!
Put away that shovel and get to the comm unit.
Amanda is calling from Vulcan.”
Amanda heard the door being shut and hastily approaching
footsteps.
“Come on,” Nell urged.
“Wait, my shoes,” her father's voice said.
“Al, for heavens sake leave them on and get to the comm unit.”
Amanda chuckled quietly at her parent's little argument.
An instant later her mother was back on the screen. The face of her father appeared over her
shoulder, his nose and cheeks a bright red from the cold. His face lit up with a brilliant smile when
he caught sight of his daughter. “There's
my little girl! How are you, sweetie?” he asked cheerfully.
“Dad, it’s good to see you.
I’m fine, and before you ask, the baby is, too,“ she answered.
“It’s good to hear that.
You two gave us quite a scare,” her father said, his expression becoming
more serious. Suddenly he turned his
head to one side and coughed heavily.
“Mom told me about the pneumonia, Dad. You shouldn't be out
shoveling snow," Amanda admonished her father.
“Ah, girl, you know your ol’ man. Can’t sit quiet for a
minute," he answered with a wink.
She sighed. “Yes, I know, but please be careful. Pneumonia is not easy to deal with and can
cause severe damage to the lungs.”
“Thanks for the diagnosis, Doctor," he said. Noticing her concerned expression, he added,
“Okay, I promise I'll be careful. But
hey, why are we talking about me? How is my grandson doing?”
Amanda filled him in on Spock’s condition and told them everything
that happened since the accident. In
the end she was able to convince them she was indeed recovering and invited
them to attend Spock’s official naming ceremony. Taking her leave from her parents, she cut the connection and
prepared to go back to the hospital to see Spock.
***
The next three days were uneventful save for the fact they were
continuously assailed by herds of reporters who tried to get more information
about the child’s condition each time they left the house. The gatherings continued until Sarek got a
transporter installed in the house.
This way they could beam directly to the hospital without venturing out
of their home.
On the fourth day after Amanda’s release from the hospital, Spock
was also released from the ICU and transferred to the Neonatal Care Unit.
Amanda felt nervous. Today she would nurse her son for the first
time. They beamed over to the hospital
shortly after breakfast and attended a meeting with Daniel in his office. T’Sel, Daniel's assistant, looked up from
her desk when the two of them entered the anteroom to Corrigan’s office. After greetings were exchanged she ushered
them in, telling them to wait for Daniel who would attend five minutes
later. She placed a tray of
refreshments from the replicator on a small table near Daniel’s desk and filled
two glasses of chilled water for Sarek and Amanda before she retreated to the
anteroom, closing the door behind her.
Amanda sat nervously in her seat and rolled the glass of water
between her hands. Sarek sat beside her
and watched with an almost amused expression, while he leaned back in his chair
and steepled his hands in front of him.
Amanda caught him staring at her.
“What?" she asked.
“I am merely observing you,” he answered.
Amanda rolled her eyes. “Okay, why?”
“You are behaving most illogically,” he answered.
“Oh, really? Because I’m nervous?”
“Yes. Why would you fear something that is only natural?”
She set her glass on the desk in front of her and clasped her
hands together. “I’m not afraid, Sarek.
That’s the wrong word. I’m…excited and
a little bit nervous. He is used to
being fed by other people. What if he refuses me?” she whispered.
“I do not think this will happen,” Sarek answered. “You are his
mother; he will recognize you.”
She smiled weakly. “Thanks for the encouragement.”
The door to the office opened and Daniel entered. “Good morning,” he greeted them. He stopped beside Amanda’s chair and looked
down at her. “Are you ready? I have a little patient who is eager to have
his first natural meal,” he said cheerfully.
Amanda took a deep breath and got up from her seat. “I’m more than
ready. I think your hormone therapy
worked overtime. The pressure in my
breasts is really uncomfortable now.”
“That is quite normal,” Daniel said. "You'll feel better soon.”
He led them to the Neonatal Care Unit and showed them into a
quiet, comfortable room with an examination table and a large
comfortable-looking chair. He vanished
through a door to the left and returned a short time later with the baby in his
arms. He approached the examination
table and took off the blankets, which were wrapped around the infant. Amanda and Sarek stood beside him to watch
as he examined their son.
The little boy was dressed in a white jumpsuit made of a soft
white material, his head covered with a warm cap to prevent heat loss. His eyes were open and he tried to take in
his surroundings but his eyes refused to focus and wandered from one side to the
other continuously. His arms moved
without coordination while he kicked his legs.
Daniel smiled and held down the tiny legs while he ran a medical
scanner over the child. Obviously
content with the readings, he told Amanda to sit down in the large chair. She did so and opened the front of her pelal kan-bu'tor, a special robe worn by
Vulcan women who had a child to
nurse. It allowed easy access without
exposing more of the woman than was necessary.
She waited nervously until Daniel laid the warm bundle into her
waiting arms. At this moment his beeper
went off, calling him away to an emergency.
“I will send in a nurse to help you,” he said on the way out.
“That will not be necessary,” came a familiar voice from the door.
“T’sai T’Lara,” Daniel greeted her. “Will you assist your
daughter-in-law?”
“Of course,” she answered and stepped aside to let Corrigan
pass. She then looked meaningfully at
her son who still was in the room.
Sarek moved towards her and extended his hands, his palms turned
upwards and hands crossed at the wrists.
“Greetings, Mother. I hope the
conference was successful and your journey pleasant.”
She laid her hands upon his in the Vulcan family embrace. “Greetings to you also, my son. The conference was successful, however, your
father had to remain to work out further details. He sends his greetings to both of you.”
Sarek inclined his head.
“Please leave us now, Sarek.
You are not needed here."
“As you wish, Mother.” He
took a last encouraging look at his wife and left.
Amanda sat in the chair and watched Sarek leave. Inwardly, she was disappointed and a little
bit angry that T’Lara had sent him out.
On the other hand, it was not common for Vulcan fathers to attend their
child's feeding. Logically they were
not needed for the process and, therefore, their presence was unnecessary. She was glad that Sarek was willing to
attend but they would have to wait until she was at home with the child. She decided to drop the matter and say
nothing in order to keep the fragile peace between her and T'Lara.
She eyed T’Lara warily when the older woman approached. “T’sai,” she said. “I’m honored by your assistance.”
T’Lara inclined her head in acknowledgement and replied, “I come
to serve.” She looked down at the
infant and her features softened visibly.
“I also wish to thank you for the work you did in the
nursery. It is most … aesthetically
pleasing,” Amanda continued.
T’Lara looked at her and Amanda thought she saw a brief flash of
contentment cross the older woman’s features before she controlled them
carefully.
“Sarek told me about your plans for the room. I merely did the finishing touches and
provided the clothing,” she replied simply, but the tone of her voice spoke of
her gratitude for the praise.
The child gave a loud, protesting squeak causing both women to
focus their attention on him.
“I think he is really hungry now.” Amanda smiled and tried to
adjust the child nearer to her.
“No,” T’Lara said, “you have to hold him this way.” She took Amanda’s right arm and adjusted it
until it supported the child efficiently.
“Now hold him a little bit higher.”
Amanda followed her instructions until the baby’s cheek rested
against her breast. Instinctively, the
child turned his face to the warmth of her body, his lips brushing against her
nipple. He refused it at first but
finally latched on and began to suckle with amazing strength.
Amanda stared down on him in wonder. Her eyes filled with tears as she watched her child contently
nursing. The feeling of having a child
was suddenly much more real and she felt an overwhelming happiness. This was what she had wished for months; to
see and feel her child living and healthy.
‘My son,’ she thought and lifted her other hand to softly stroke
the baby’s cheek with the backside of her finger. Carefully she eased back into the chair and settled herself in a
comfortable position.
After ten minutes the strength of the baby’s suckling lessened
noticeably. “I think he has enough for
now,” Amanda said.
“And he is nearly sleeping,” T’Lara added. She extended her hands. “May I?”
“Of course,” Amanda said and detached the child carefully from her
breast. He stirred slightly but did not
protest. T’Lara wrapped him securely in
her arms and waited until Amanda had refastened her robe. T'Lara handed the baby back to her and
turned to the door through which Daniel had brought the child in. “I will call
a nurse to take him back to his bed," she said.
Amanda walked up and down the room, rocking the infant slightly in
her arms. She called out to Sarek
mentally and a moment later he entered the room, followed by Dr. Corrigan.
He extended two of his fingers to her and she touched them,
transmitting all of her joy through the bond.
He responded in kind and looked down adoringly at their son.
When they separated, Daniel took the child carefully from Amanda’s
arms and took him back to his bed.
“I must take my leave of you,” T’Lara said. “I wish to prepare for
your father's return.”
Surprisingly, she turned to Amanda and presented her with the same
ritual embrace she had used to greet her son.
Amanda smiled slightly and used all of the mental techniques Sarek had
taught her to shield her emotions before she touched the other woman’s hands.
T’Lara raised an eyebrow when the expected battering of Human
emotions against her shields did not occur.
She squeezed the younger woman’s hands lightly and released her. Nodding to her son, she left the room.
Sarek looked after her with a raised eyebrow. Obviously the two women had found peace. He hoped they would be able to strengthen
that peace between them.
His thoughts were interrupted by Daniel, who entered from the
other room, carrying a curious device in one hand. “Well, Amanda, it seems he takes the milk very well. I assume you don’t want to stay in the
hospital, therefore, I would ask you to provide milk with this breast
pump. I will show you how to use it.”
The milk she would have to gain later would be thinned with
additional nutrients which Amanda’s body could not provide and would therefore
be enough to sustain the child for the remainder of the day. After Daniel had
instructed her how to use the breast pump she was free again to leave the
hospital.
Sarek took his leave of her in the spacious lobby of the complex
and left to teach his morning class.
She stepped in front of the large windows and watched him stride in the
direction of the computer science buildings of the VSA.
***
The following six weeks were spent in nearly the same way. Amanda would go to the hospital once a day
to visit and nurse the child. She would
bring the milk she expressed the previous day with her and the nurses would mix
it with the nutrients Spock needed and feed this to him when Amanda wasn’t
there. He was eleven months old now,
but was still premature for a Vulcan child.
Fortunately, his human genes enabled him to be fully developed a little
bit earlier. He had gained half a pound
of weight every week and had now reached a weight of 6.5 pounds, a healthy
birth weight for a human male infant.
***
Amanda walked through the door to the nursery and checked it out
thoroughly. Every necessary piece of
baby equipment was still there. She
drew the heavy curtains to block the sun.
It would not be good for the child to be exposed to the heat of the day.
She took one last approving look at the room and went to the
transporter. She set the coordinates of
her destination then stood still and soon felt the tickling sensation of the
transporter beam.
She materialized at the VSA.
Sarek waited beside the transporter console and extended two fingers in
the traditional embrace when she stepped from the transporter pad and
approached him.
Their fingers touched and their bond pulsed with intensified
activity. Both shared the feeling of
relief of finally being able to take their child home with them. They separated and began their walk to the
hospital.
When they arrived at the Neonatal Care Unit they were ushered into
the same room Amanda had nursed their son in for the past six months. Daniel was bent over the child conducting a
final examination. He looked up from
his patient and greeted them. “You don’t
have to wait long. I will be finished
soon. Just one last hypo.” He adjusted
the hypo and pressed it to the skin of the child. A hissing sound was heard when the medicine was released into the
child’s blood.
The boy gave a startled cry, his little upswept brows bunching
together.
“Na, sh…” Daniel soothed, “it's all over.”
He picked up the boy and laid him in the portable baby seat,
adjusting the security belts and covering him with a light blanket. Sarek stepped forward and took the seat from
Daniel’s hands.
Amanda went to stand beside him and drew back the blanket. She stroked the boy’s cheek. “Hey there,” she cooed. “Are we ready to go
home?”
Sarek raised an eyebrow and Daniel smiled. “You can go home,” he said. “Please see me
in two weeks for a thorough examination and call me immediately if something is
wrong.”
“Of course,” Sarek replied.
They took their leave of Daniel and headed back to the main
transporter area.
***
Fifteen minutes later they materialized on the transporter
platform in their house. Amanda took a
deep breath. Sarek watched her
curiously.
“We really brought him home, Sarek,” she said. “This is one of the happiest moments in my
life. I really thought we would lose
him.”
Sarek nodded his understanding and both turned to the stairway to
take the child to his room.
Amanda took the boy out of the baby seat and held him in her
arms. He blinked sleepily and yawned
deeply. She smiled and laid him down in
the old family cradle. She covered him
with the blanket and rocked the cradle slightly.
They stood for a long time after the child had fallen asleep and
watched him.
“When is the news conference?” Amanda asked finally.
“At 17:00 hours tomorrow,” Sarek answered.
“That will be the hell of a media circus,” she said with a sigh.
“Indeed,” Sarek answered, “but
we have the rest of today and all night,” he said, his eyes sparkling with his
last words.
She smiled fondly at him, took his hand and led him from the room.
THE END