Title: Firstborn

Series: Pre-TOS

Characters: Spock, Sarek, Amanda, Sybok

Rating: PG (Child in peril)
Author: Ster J

Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the characters. I write about them for myself, thank you!

This is a look into Spock’s childhood. Some of the characters and situations are drawn from the novelization of ST5, namely the name and occupation of Sybok’s mother, the reason why Sybok was exiled from Vulcan, and the Hall of Ancient Thought. There are actually two other stories embedded in this story.

FIRSTBORN

Even before Spock opened the garden gate, he knew that chaos awaited within. He could hear voices, scuffling, running feet. Pushing open the massive door, he found peacekeepers in the garden. They were trying to subdue someone, someone who would not be subdued.

"Yield. Yield to us." The guard's voice was gruff, demanding.

"No!" Spock recognized his brother's voice. Sybok? Why were the peacekeepers after Sybok? He looked around for his parents in the melee. He spied Sarek and Amanda in the entry. It was not clear who was preventing whom from interfering with the peacekeepers. Spock sidled over to them.

"Mother? Father? What is happening? Why are they taking Sybok?" Sarek didn't answer. Spock had never seen his father look so pained. Amanda only wept. A surge of panic washed over Spock. Sybok had only lived with them seven years, but Spock had grown close to his half brother. And now he was being ripped from them. Spock had to know why.

"I will not yield!" Sybok shouted. "You kept her from me! She was my mother, my mother!"

"The law is the law. You mind-violated. You killed." Spock gasped. How could his brother be guilty of such vile crimes? "You are exiled from this world, from this people. We must excise the violence and restore peace."

Spock's head began to swim. Exiled? Sybok? He looked to his parents. Sarek turned haunted eyes to his younger son. Was he asking Spock to do something, or not to interfere?

The guards succeeded in binding Sybok's arms. They pushed and dragged him to the garden gates, to the waiting aircar outside. For a moment, the two brother's gazes locked. Spock stood frozen.

"Brother!" Spock heard the craft start up.

"Sybok!"

Flinging his books and cloak aside, Spock started running towards the gate, towards the aircar. He heard his father order "Stop!" yet he kept running. Spock heard Sarek start running after him, but he kept going. The vehicle picked up speed across the desert, yet still Spock didn't stop. He pumped his legs like pistons, running faster than he had ever run before. Even after he lost sight of the craft, the youth kept running.

Logic returned to Sarek eventually. He knew he couldn't stop the aircar, nor would Spock obey him, especially now. He turned back and pulled out his own vehicle. After instructing Amanda to request assistance from the authorities, he resumed the chase after his younger--his remaining--son.

The heat claimed Spock soon enough. How long had he been running? Looking back, the city of Shi Kahr was a distant speck, wavering in the heat of the day. The aircar had vanished ahead of him long ago. Spock was tired, he was thirsty, and the heat was distorting his reality.

"Mustn't stop," he muttered through blistered lips. "Can't stop. Shelter. Need shelter, water." Exhausted, Spock fell to the ground. Summoning all of his remaining strength, he started to dig in the sand. He only succeeded in moving a few handfuls of soil before the heat finally won.

Sarek flew low enough to see Spock's route clearly. At first, the boy's tracks were straight and true, but then they began to wander drunkenly. Sarek knew that there was precious little time to find the boy, or else this day would see him losing both of his sons.

There! The tracks came to a sudden stop. Sarek circled the area. Where could Spock be? Surely, a predator cold not have gotten him, not in the heat of day. On the third pass, Sarek found his son huddled in the meager shade of a sand pile. He landed the aircar close by and leaped out.

Spock was on his side. He had worn short pants and a light tunic to school today. The exposed skin of his legs and one arm was severely blistered. Blisters marred his cheek and lips as well. How long had Spock been unconscious? Sarek carefully scooped up his son and placed him in the aircar, securing him in place. Taking his seat, Sarek fired up the craft and raced for the medical center.

Sarek sat at his son's beside. Amanda slept on a cot nearby. The healers had succeeded in lowering Spock's temperature with a cool bath. There had been only one convulsion, a minor one. Now the boy rested on a diagnostic couch, a thick layer of salve on his face and lips, plasti-skin on his arm and legs. Spock rested in a drug-induced sleep as his father kept vigil.

Sarek was exhausted. The day's events had drained him. He battled incessantly to keep his emotions mastered, and that, too, fatigued him. Pulling his chair closer, he leaned forward and rested his head on the bed. Sleep quickly overtook him.

Flashback: Ten years earlier…

Sarek shifted the weight of his sleeping son on his shoulder. It had been a long ordeal for young Spock, barely past the age of testing. His captors had snatched him from his bed at the embassy as Sarek and his wife Amanda were attending a formal reception downstairs. The security system had served adequately before. Sarek had no reason to believe that it would fail. But fail it did, and it had been traumatic for Spock. He had sounded so brave when the captors paraded him on screen during negotiations, but Sarek had heard him cry out when they struck him. Spock had taken an awful chance in blurting out his location and paid for it with a beating. But it had paid off. The authorities were able to free him and capture the captors. There was another price to pay, however. Little Spock (and little he was, only the equivalent of eight Earth-years old) could not sleep alone. The only place where he could sleep was in his father's arms. Sarek hoped to find help for his son back home on Vulcan. He would keep Spock there and keep him safe.

As Amanda steered their aircar to the landing pad outside their mountain villa, Sarek noticed several people waiting in their garden. By their robes, he knew them to be from the monastery at Gol. What business has brought them so far away from their mountain retreat? he thought.

Sarek shouldered Spock's sleeping weight higher on his arm as he exited the car. He turned and helped Amanda step out before turning to his visitors.

"I welcome your presence, honored guests," Sarek greeted them ritually. "Live long and prosper." The eldest of the group, whom he recognized as the High Master, stepped forward.

"Peace and prosperity, Sarek," she replied with formal gesture.

"Rest yourselves and we will bring water," he said. The High Master shook her head.

"We shall not be staying. We wish to return to Gol in the cool of night. We are here to inform you that T'Mir, your first wife, has died." Sarek raised an eyebrow. While it was polite of the Masters to inform him of T'Mir's passing, it was surprising that they do so in person.

"May she live in our remembrance," Sarek intoned.

"May she live on," the group answered, all but one. Sarek noticed the young monk--nearly a boy--standing at the back of the group silently, his eyes cast down, his hands tightly clutching a cloth bundle in front of him.

"This news could have been sent to me, High Master. Why have thee risked to journey here?" She reached back towards the young monk and motioned for him to come forward.

"Sarek, I know that thy marriage to T'Mir was annulled many years ago. She never told thee that, during the one Time celebrated with her, she conceived. This is the fruit of thy joining." The boy raised his eyes to Sarek, who could nothing but stare. "His name is Sybok." Sarek turned his eyes to Amanda, dumbfounded. Just then, Spock stirred on his father's shoulder, rubbed his eyes and looked around. His gaze fell on the young monk before him.

"Quaal se tu?" he asked. Sybok reached out a hand to him.

"It is I. Sybok. I am your brother." The High Master and her companions extended their hands to salute Sarek and his family.

"We shall take our leave of thee. Live long and prosper, Sarek, and all thy household as well." Sarek shook himself out of his reverie, handed Spock to Amanda, and followed them out to the front gate.

"But, High Master, what am I to do with him?" The woman did not stop.

"Thee shall raise thy son, Sarek. And take care. His mother had some odd beliefs that she has passed on to the boy. He will need careful guidance. And." She finally stopped. "Under no circumstances is he to go the Hall of Thought alone. We had to hide the location of her vekatra from him." Sarek looked back to Amanda and at Spock who stood by her side.

"Is he a danger to my family?" The High Master turned towards him.

"Sarek, Sybok is your family." Sarek stepped back.

"He is a stranger. The timing of this could not be worse. Spock has just been returned to me after being abducted and beaten. He needs time to heal. He needs his father. I cannot devote my energies now to this...other..."

"Sybok is still mourning the loss of his mother. If it weren't for T'Mir's will stating that he be given to you upon her death, he would remain with us at Gol. He needs healing as well. He too needs his father." Sarek grew silent. The woman patted his arm. "All will be well. You'll see. Go now. Your family needs you." And with that, the High Master turned back to her companions and resumed the journey. Sarek took a long calming breath, then turned back to the villa and his family waiting there.

Sarek stopped in front of the boy. He could see more of his mother's features than his own echoed in the boy's face. Why did T'Mir hide this one from me? he thought.

"Come with me." Sybok followed Sarek into the villa. Amanda steered Spock down the hall to his room. Perhaps being in his own bed would help Spock sleep better tonight.

Sarek led Sybok to the guest room. Eying the boy's small bundle, Sarek asked, "Do you need anything?" Sybok shook his head.

"I have all I need here, sir." "Sir." Not "My father." Well and good. Sarek was not ready for this young stranger to address him in any other way. Sarek was showing Sybok the hygienic facilities when the screaming started. The youth ran down the hall to Spock's room. Sarek ran out to the car to get the tranquilizers the medical personnel had given them.

"No! No! Don't leave me by myself! They'll come back! They'll come back!" Amanda was trying to keep him in bed, making soft shushing noises when Sybok arrived on the scene. Spock bolted from the bed and launched himself into his brother's arms. "Don't leave me by myself!" he cried. Sybok looked up at Amanda.

"He was kidnapped while he slept," Amanda offered by way of explanation. "He's afraid to be alone." Sybok looked down at Spock's anxious face.

"You don't have to be alone, little brother. I'll stay with you." Sybok looked towards Amanda. "Would that be all right?" Amanda didn't answer. She looked at how quickly Spock had calmed down. It was much better than drugs. Sarek rushed in, carrying the hypo. He saw Spock resting in the other's arms.

"What is this?" Sarek demanded. Sybok looked up at him.

"I will stay with him, sir. He won't have to be alone." Sarek looked towards Amanda. He motioned with his head for her to follow him out into the hall.

"I am not certain that this would be in Spock's best interest," he said.

"What do you mean?" Amanda answered. Sarek leaned close and lowered his voice.

"The High Master made some vague warnings about Sybok. She said we were not in danger, but to watch out for him. Spock is very vulnerable now. If Sybok is unstable..." Amanda shook her head.

"Oh, Sarek. Spock took to Sybok like a duck to water. He calmed our son down faster than either of us have been able to recently. This may be just what Spock needs right now." Sarek looked back at the boys. Spock was already nodding off. Sybok had enfolded the youngster gently in his arms and was humming to him softly. He looked up and caught Sarek's eye. Sarek nodded his approval and moved down the hall with Amanda towards the sitting room.

Sarek sat in his chair and rested his chin in his hand. What of the line? Spock was declared firstborn on his naming day. What of this interloper? Sarek felt Amanda rest her hands on his shoulders.

"My wife, we must talk."

(Spock shifted uncomfortably on the bed. The pain-killers were wearing off and his flesh felt as if on fire. He tried to call out, but only succeeded in making soft, bird-like cries. He turned his head and tried to sleep.)

Flashback: Continued

Sybok looked at the little boy in his arms. "How can I help you, little one? What is your pain? Share it with me."

The Abduction

There were two of them, darkness upon darkness. One stood by the door and the other by his bed. Strong arms scooped him up, bedclothes and all and held him so firmly to his chest that Spock could not cry out. He felt the heady dissolution of the transporter effect. A strong acrid, metallic scent filled his nostrils and he nearly gagged. He was tossed into a dark, dank corner like so many rags as the captors barked orders to some others. He felt his stomach lurch and knew two things: 1) They had beamed him onto a spaceship and 2) They had just jumped to a high speed. Actually, three things. He was alone, and his family didn't even know that he was gone or where he was. He felt fear welling up inside him. He took a deep breath and squelched it. Fear would do nothing for him but interfere with him getting away. The more logical thing for him to do would be to learn as much as he could about his captors and see what he would have to do to escape.

The captors used him to taunt his father. They would parade him before the communications screen and demand ransom. After that was paid, they would do it again, always moving Spock farther away instead of delivering him to the agreed location. He found this increasingly unbearable. If they didn't return him to his father soon, he would call out every scrap of information he could gather on these... fools. It wasn't polite, or logical to call them names, but it made this insanity a little more bearable.

Spock's opportunity came sooner than he was prepared for. He had only heard scraps of dialogue between the one manning communications and the base where they were hiding.

"Get up, boy," one of the captors said, kicking him. Fortunately, the bedclothes in which they had first concealed Spock, and in which he had nested himself, protected him from anything more than a bruise. Spock walked obediently to where he was told and stood gazing at his father's image on the screen, the captor standing directly behind. Suddenly, Spock threw his head back sharply into the captor's groin.

"Vega Four!" he called out as the other doubled over. "Underground hangar!" The others yanked him away from the speakers and threw him back into the corner. One wrapped a belt around his fist and came at him menacingly. Spock didn't cry out at the first blow, but the second and the third were increasingly harder. It shamed him, but he couldn't help it. He screamed, and he knew his father had heard.

One of the others pulled the attacker off the boy.

"He's no use to us dead!"

"We'll all be dead soon. Power up! Get us out of here!"

Flashback: Continued

Sybok brushed his fingers against Spock’s cheek. The boy awoke with a start.

"I dreamed about the people that took me away," Spock said sleepily. Sybok shook his head.

"It wasn't a dream. We looked at them together. Are you still afraid of them?" Spock lowered his head and nodded. Sybok drew the boy's eyes back to his own. "Then they still hold you captive, Spock. Believe me, they're gone and they won't hurt you anymore. Let them go. Release the fear. Release it." Sybok pulled Spock's hands together and moved them in a circle. "Roll it into a ball and throw it away." Spock flung his hands aside. Sybok studied him a moment. "Is it gone?" Spock nodded in amazement.

"How did you do that?" he asked. Sybok smiled gently and cupped Spock's chin in his hand.

"You did it yourself." Spock scurried off the bed towards the door, pulling Sybok along by the hand.

"Come. I have to tell Father and Mother." Sybok allowed himself to be propelled by Spock's mad rush to the sitting room. Sarek and Amanda looked up as the two boys burst into the room.

"What is this?" Sarek demanded. "It is late. You should be in bed." Spock pulled Sybok all the way to Sarek's chair.

"My father, I am better. Sybok helped me to get well." Sarek turned an inquisitive gaze toward the newcomer.

"Explain." Sybok took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I merely helped Spock to overcome his fears, sir."

"How?"

"We faced them together, until he could let them go."

"And I did, Father. I have mastered my fears. They no longer control me." Sarek placed the back of two fingers gently on his son's cheek.

"That is good, my son." The chimes from Amanda's antique grandfather clock sounded the hour. "Now, it is well past time for you to be in bed." Sarek looked over at Sybok. "Both of you."

"Yes, Father," Spock replied obediently. He touched hands to first his father, then his mother and moved back towards the hallway.

"You are right, sir." Sarek raised a hand.

"You may refer to me as 'father' also, Sybok. You are my son, after all." Sybok shook his head.

"Perhaps when we know each other better, sir." Sarek regarded the youth. Sybok inclined his head to both Sarek and Amanda. "Peaceful rest, sir, madam."

"Good night, Sybok. Sleep well," Amanda responded. Sybok met Spock at the hallway and they both retreated to their bedrooms.

Spock moved his hand. His fingers brushed against his father's hair. So Sarek had stayed by his side. Spock heard a small sound from the other side of the room. Craning his neck, he spied Amanda sleeping fitfully. They had both stayed. He tried to sit up, but leaning his weight on his injured arms caused him to gasp sharply. The youth tried to control his mind, to control his pain, but he couldn't. He started to cry softly.

Sarek awoke. He felt the mattress move with each of Spock's ragged breaths. He sat up and gazed at his son.

"I'm sorry, Father," Spock said weakly. "It... It hurts so much. I can't control it." Sarek placed a hand on Spock's head, caressing him gently.

"The cause is more than sufficient, my son," he murmured. "Besides, the drugs they have given you impair your concentration." Father and son gazed at each other a while. Spock dropped his gaze and began to sob again.

"My brother could help me," he moaned. "I want Sybok! I want him here!" Sarek carefully cupped his son's face.

"We cannot say his name, my son. We can no longer speak of him." He took a deep, calming breath. "He is dead to us." Spock started to shake.

"No!" He pointed to his father. "Why didn't you stop them? You could have saved him! Get him back. Get him back!" Sarek shook his head.

"There was nothing I could do. Sybok brought this on himself. We must accept this judgment."

"No," Spock moaned as he began to cry again. Sarek reached out and held Spock to himself gingerly, waiting for the tears to stop.

"I grieve with thee, son."

Amanda was awakened by the sound of voices. She listened tearfully to the exchange between her husband and her son. This sentence against Sybok punished them all. Looking up, Amanda saw something she hadn't seen since Spock was an infant. Spock was weeping in her husband's arms, and Sarek was letting the boy cry himself out. She rose and placed a hand on her husband's shoulder. Sarek's gaze met hers. Amanda saw Spock's anguish echoed in Sarek's eyes.

"I grieve with thee, my husband," she told him.

Suddenly, Spock pulled back from Sarek's embrace. He looked at his father, eyes wild with hope.

"Father, you know so many people on so many planets. You could find him. You could find out where he was sent, and we would know if he was all right." Sarek shook his head.

"No, son. That is not permitted. He is dead to us."

"Stop saying that!" Spock shouted. "He's not dead. He's not!" Sarek took a wipe and carefully swabbed Spock's lips.

"Quiet, son. Speaking causes your lips to crack, and now they are bleeding." Spock shook his head.

"I don't care. I only want Sybok back."

Just then a healer entered the room. Laying her fingers at the side of his face, she made a quick assessment of Spock's pain, of his agitated state. The healer injected more drugs into the boy's arm.

"No!" Spock protested. "Sybok!"

"You need rest," she instructed as Spock began to doze off. "Sleep now." The boy's moans of protest gave way to sighs of relief as the pain subsided. Sleep quickly overtook him. The healer gave a quick cursory glance to Sarek and Amanda. "It is very late. Go home and refresh yourselves. Your son will sleep for several hours. There is no logic in your staying here." Amanda began to protest, but Sarek steered her towards the door.

"Call us if there is any change," he instructed.

Sarek and Amanda flew home in silence, both deep in thought. Amanda stopped in the entry and gazed at Sarek.

"What is it, my wife?" he asked.

"You indulged him." Sarek was puzzled.

"Who?"

"Spock," she replied. "You permitted him to cry. I thought you would force him to control himself." Sarek shook his head.

"No. I knew that he couldn't, not with the drugs in his system." He took a deep breath. "Besides, the day's events would have overwhelmed the best of us. It was logical to let him mourn." Amanda studied her husband's face. His eyes were haunted, tired.

"What is it, Sarek?" she crooned. He sighed again.

"We nearly lost Spock, too. I... I could not bear that." Amanda nodded.

"I know. We were very fortunate." She took his hand. "Let's get some sleep." As tempting as that sounded, Sarek refused. He sent Amanda off to bed and promised he would join her after a period of contemplation.

Sarek tried in vain to meditate. Instead, he could only think of his now-lost son. His earlier dream--memory, really--of Sybok's arrival was in the forefront of his mind.

Flashback: Ten years earlier

Sarek followed the two boys with his gaze.

"Troubled, my husband?" Amanda asked gently.

"I do not know what to make of this one. The warning the High Master gave us does not follow Sybok's actions here tonight. Has he been trained as a healer? We have endured ten nights of frightened cries from Spock, yet Sybok stopped them in a few minutes. Who is this creature, this firstborn son of mine?" Sarek looked down the hallway towards the bedrooms where his son--his sons--now slept. "And what will become of him? What will become of us all?"