SUMMARY: Using the events of "The Circle of Time", this is a look into what might have happened during the year Amanda went to Earth with Spock ... and Sarek's interests turned to another.

DISCLAIMER: I thank GB, the Great Bird of the Galaxy, for his dream... and I will play nice.
 

"Dark Reflections of The Tomes..."
(c)September 2001
 

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Ambassador Sarek entered the empty house. He caught himself and corrected his perception of this. It was not empty, his aide was in residence... but the house seemed emotionally empty without Amanda. She had left for her home world five months and twenty-three days ago. She had stated that she would return when he had swallowed his pride and accepted Spock back into the family.

Sarek was not certain he would ever do that.

Sarek removed his travel cape, pleased that he had timed his arrival home to happen just before the torrential rains. They were just beginning; he could hear the distant thunder and see the far-off flashes of lightning. He knew that the rains would be here to help water Amanda's roses in less than thirty minutes. The weather on Vulcan was far more predictable than it was on Earth.

He went into his office and placed his diplomatic pouch on the surface of the desk. He would see to the transfer of information later on this evening, after he had eaten. He walked over to the large window and the sight of the desert being lit in the distance by the lightening was something he never tired of. He decided that he would take the time to change his clothing and meditate for a short time before he joined T'yshen for evening meal.

Having T'yshen here had been comforting in some ways. He had to deal with his own feelings concerning Spock's choices and Amanda's decision to accompany Spock to Earth. As much as Vulcans claim not to have emotions, it was a lie. A Vulcan's emotions were as strong, if not stronger than a Human's, if one needed a comparison. Vulcans just controlled them. Over centuries of controlling them, the emotions had all but been forgotten about... but they were there, and Sarek was feeling the pain of loneliness most of all.

Sarek slipped on his meditation robe. He knelt on the softer stone placed off to one side of the once-shared sleeping area. The stone's surface was unique, it was warm to the touch and it was forgiving when it was knelt upon. Yet it was stone, dark in colour and strong. Sarek had always felt as if this was the true symbol of the Vulcan people.

His meditation was once again dealing with the fact that he had disowned his son. Then because of his son's career choice, and his rejection of his son's career, his bond mate leaves. Amanda simply packed up her belongings and followed her son and now resided on a world very far away. He understood her feelings of loyalty to her son, but he did not understand her reasoning for leaving.

As he reached for the second level of the meditative state, he recalled the discussion that he had with T'yshen shortly after his family had left for Earth. Recalling the events had not and would not change matters but, perhaps, he would gain a greater understanding of how they felt.

~~~~~
 

T'yshen had entered the house a few hours after Spock and Amanda had left. She had discovered Sarek sitting in the garden. She knew something was wrong. "I had expected you to return to the office. Was there a difficulty?"

Sarek stood, drawing himself into his 'diplomatic' stance. He appeared unaffected by anything in this way. "Amanda and her son have traveled to Earth."

"Her son? You are referring to Spock?"

"His name is not to be uttered in this house. I have declared him vre'kesht (outcast)."

"Because of his decision to join Starfleet?"

"Because he is not following the family ways." Sarek had never felt that Starfleet was a negative career choice for some, but he had wanted his son to follow in his footsteps... as he had followed his father's.

T'yshen fell silent at first. She had heard first-hand how Spock was referred to at times by others. It was not favourable. He had been referred to as something 'less than Vulcan'. There were very strong prejudices on Vulcan and they were hidden in the way Vulcans treated one another. Subtle at times, but nevertheless there.

"Is following the family ways as important as retaining family cohesion?" T'yshen looked to Sarek.

"I acted within acceptable parameters."

"I did not ask that." She slipped the hood of her travel robe off her head.

Sarek stared at her for a moment, he was not certain he could answer her. Not truthfully. "What had been done; has been done." He decided that way the way to deal with this was to move on. Move on to whatever comes next.

~~

That discussion had not been the last but it had been the one that caused Sarek to believe that matters could be changed. He was just not certain how to do it. Now, these many months later, it seemed as if this was the way he would live his life.

This meditation was enough for the present.

He changed into a robe that had become his favourite, however illogical it was. In actuality, when he thought about it, it was Amanda's favourite and she had stated that he looked very dignified in this colour. He ran his hands down the closure, the pressure sealing the robe's opening. He headed out to the kitchen to eat with T'yshen.

He discovered that T'yshen was not in the kitchen, but still outside, in the rain. It was not a logical thing to be doing, but he found that she at times, sought out illogical experiences. He was beginning to understand why T'Pau wished her to remain here for a time.

He opened the door to the garden; she turned towards him as she heard the sound. "Ambassador. Forgive me, I had not realised the time had become so late." It was a weak excuse. She was Vulcan and had been born with a perfect sense of time. She looked up to the dark skies once more then headed into the house.

T'yshen shook the cape of the rain before she brought it inside. She hung it in the closet, and then closed the door. "Supper is prepared." She moved to the heating unit. "I had left the stew in here while I went out to watch the approaching storm. It had not been my intent to remain." She dished out the hot stew in the Earth-styled dishes. "Your meeting with Ambassador Helio went as you expected?"

"Yes." Sarek sat at his customary place at the table as she carried the two bowls over. He poured out the tea from the thermal carafe that had been sitting on the table. The tall handle-less cups had been designed to compliment the dishes that Amanda had brought from Earth to begin her new life. "I believe the accord with the Andorians will carry through. The Federation will decide if the changes will be accepted or not."

"Your impressions?"

"They are significant changes but they are fair. I can see no reason why the Federation would not agree."

There was silence as the meal was consumed. The kreyla bread had been taken out of the oven and sliced onto a plate with a stasis field. A hand could pass through easily yet the food remained fresh. With a mere nod of the head, Sarek had asked T'yshen if she wished her cup refilled and between them finished the pot of tea. After they were finished eating, the dishes were collected and placed in the cleaning unit. Any food that was left over was placed in the cold statis unit.

"Ambassador, would your time allow for another lesson in chess?" T'yshen had just begun to learn chess when she discovered the game set up in Sarek's home office. He had informed her that this game had been set up in his Embassy office for some time, but circumstances made him move it here. She suspected that the circumstances that he spoke of were Spock's departure from Vulcan.

Sarek nodded. "Yes, my time is unscheduled for the evening."

~~~~

Sarek's office was as austere as he was. The dark rich fabric hung on his walls, cutting the sounds that were heard in the office and stopping some of the outside noises from invading his solitude.

Sarek moved to the large heavy table that held the slightly over-sized chess pieces. He touched the stasis field that was kept over it, less need for dusting and for others to invade his privacy. He reached over to the decanter and poured out two glasses. He replaced the stopper then handed T'yshen one of the thin glasses. "It is a variety of brandy. One that is made here on Vulcan from the milk of the karanji variety of cactus."

T'yshen accepted the drink. She had never been invited in here before this; most of her time was spent at the Embassy. She had been assigned as Ambassador's Sarek's aide only a short time ago, and was enjoying the freedom that living with the Masters did not permit. Although she enjoyed her stay with the Masters, it had become stifling for her. She wished to experience more of what there was to see and training as a diplomatic aide was the best position she was qualified for.

Sarek gestured for her to take the seat opposite him. The table and two chairs had been a gift from Amanda only a few years ago. She had commissioned it to be made to her own design. The chess set had been a gift from Spock after his first visit to Earth years ago. He had seen it in a store's display and knew that his father played this game. Spock had spoken to Amanda concerning the purchase, explained how he could pay for it and if Amanda would see to the purchase. She had agreed and the ivory and ebony oriental style set had arrived on Vulcan at the same time as they had returned. Sarek had used the set only once with anyone other than Spock...until now.

Sarek picked up one of each of the colours and placed them just under the tables lip out of sight as he waited for T'yshen to make the customary choice.

"Your left."

Sarek revealed the dark pawn. He would move first as he had the lighter piece. He replaced the pawns then turned the table so that the lighter pieces were in front of him. The chessboard had been made with a turntable in the base; the board would also lift to reveal a storage area for all the pieces.

Sarek watched her as she thought out each move. More than once since Amanda had gone, the thought occurred to him that made him question the logic of choosing a Human for a mate; perhaps he should have chosen a Vulcan. Even mated with a Vulcan the first time had not worked out well. T'Rea had not thought he was mentally strong enough for her... that his emotions ruled him. Then she went off to seek Kolinahr, the purging of all emotions. Obviously it had not been his emotions that she was uncomfortable with.

Sarek had never considered himself 'too emotional' for a Vulcan.

Some movement had caused one of the chess pieces to tip, for some reason both of them reached for it at the same time. Sarek could not stop his hand from wrapping around T'yshen's. He had even watched it happen.

T'yshen looked up at Sarek, his hand was warm against hers. She felt the movements as each muscle contracted and then the shock at his contact with her. She felt her thoughts begin to meld with his... then his thoughts pulled away from her. She brought down her shielding as he did and lowered her eyes. She pulled her hand from his, and then replaced the piece on the board.

She stood. She was not sure what she should do. Remain here as if nothing had happened? Leave and make this into something it was not? She felt her heart pounding at her side. She swallowed nervously, her fingertips resting on the edge of the table for balance... she could not calm herself.

Sarek sat still, unbelieving the thoughts that occurred to him or the actions that he had almost taken. He stared at the board, hoping for an answer. He drew in a breath, slowly, deliberately and he lifted his head. His hand moved almost involuntarily towards her fingertips resting on the table. "I ask forgiveness."

"There is no need." She jumped when his hand held her fingers. She followed the path from her fingers to his face... she shook her head gently. "It can not be, Ambassador."

Sarek lowered his eyes and released his hold on her fingers. He felt as if she had been pulled from him, separated by a wide chasm. He felt changed somehow.

T'yshen left the room. She was prepared to return to Gol as soon as she was packed.

Sarek had waited patiently in the kitchen for T'yshen. He knew she would at least seek him out to take her leave of him. While he waited he made some tea and thought of the position he was now in.

He did not have to wait long. He had allowed the tea to steep and then poured a cup for himself and when she entered the kitchen.

She was subdued, and her eyes remained lowered. "I will take my leave of you."

"You do not have my permission to do so." Sarek waved her to sit at the table. From the tray, he turned a cup over and filled it for her. He placed it in front of her, "Drink. You will feel better."

"That is illogical." Her hands wrapped around the cup and she pulled it closer to her. She tried to keep her hands hidden, almost as if it could be offensive to have them exposed.

"It is something that Amanda claims." He sipped on the hot liquid. He would have to resolve this within himself before even discussing it with her.

They continued to speak of matters for hours, beginning with the matter at hand and continuing into the recent conferences and agreements that had resulted from them. It seemed as if everything could return to normal.

Then at the height of their discussion, Sarek had begun to smile. T'yshen could not even remember why, but she was quite annoyed with him. She made a sudden motion with her hand, to make a point, and Sarek stopped it before it hit Amanda's teapot.

T'yshen felt the current of thought pass between them. She saw that he had felt it as well. It was the moment when both realized the attraction to one another was not imagined.

"Sarek." She whispered his name, not his position, not using the title that she awarded him, simply his name, spoken softly.

He took a deep breath and then whispered, "I am bonded." It had sounded almost as an apology. "It can not..."

She had waited for what had seemed like an eternity before he released the hold on her wrist. She remembered feeling the separation from him that day. A thread of a connection had remained between them. It held an unspoken promise... one day, when the timing was right... Sarek had erected mental shielding so strong after that, that it actually caused her pain. He had been right to do so.

Sarek leaned back in the chair, his gaze drifted over to the window that offered him a view of the desert... and Amanda's roses.

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For story references:
"In The Circle of Time- Tome One"
http://gatewaytovulcan.tripod.ca/discovery.html
and
"In The Circle of Time- Tome Six"
http://gatewaytovulcan.tripod.ca/tome6.html
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Feedback cheerfully accepted: tpotts@sprint.ca